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Author Topic: Noah's Ark V2.0  (Read 862 times)

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Offline SlutbunnyTopic starter

Noah's Ark V2.0
« on: April 24, 2011, 05:25:02 PM »
So lets just say there's going to be one of those epic floods all over again. Lets say we've known about it for years and years (maybe the ice caps, maybe someone decided to test biodegradable plastics by making the worlds biggest dam out of them, I don't know), and our governments have very nicely prepared us all a spot in them. There's just one little problem. They outsourced the planning to a bunch of consultants who slightly screwed it up. This isn't disastrous, you're all gonna live, there's a berth for every last one of you (You're on the SS Sieve... after the Sieve river in Italy, of course). There's food, and water and um... mystical magical building materials makers. But who can live on bread alone? All our essentials are taken care of, but deficit reducing measures meant that some things just weren't double checked and are... missing.

Cultural things, books, music, art... and the most ludicrous oversight of all, someone forgot to pack the animals! The zoo was closed for the long weekend and nobody thought to make their way over there and just take the wee beasties. Sure there are cattle, sheep, pigs for farming at the other side, they're all neatly stowed in the hold (which stinks something terrible, let me tell ya), but no giraffes, oh no! No meerkats (how oh how will we film adorable insurance sales adverts after the flood?)! There's space for them, but its down to you, citizen of the SS Sieve, to go and find one animal to bring on board for the journey (well... two, obviously).

Unfortunately, Easyark is a stickler for beaurocracy... they have a strict one mating pair per passenger policy (the animals you dolt, your partner already has a berth, remember? And don't even think of getting them to bring your second choice. They're taking cats... yes, every last one of them. There will be equal numbers of cats to citizens on these arks, and they all know who is allergic to them, and want to snuggle!). Not only that, until the slight matter of the end of the world, copyright laws will be very much enforced, and every person is only allowed to take one copy of their cultural things for themselves, and one to share/copy when you land and realise that the lawyers all missed the boat (apparently they didn't get their tickets... very mysterious).

So this is sort of one of those desert island dilemmas, but not quite. I'd love to know species of animal you would bring, if any, what album you'd bring to share with everyone else, what book, art, even food. After writing that up I'm afraid I appear to have forgotten half the things I was going to list, curse my style over substance! Anyway, here is what I'd bring, please please please feel free to add to this, even if you know it will humiliate me for managing to omit something so obvious (I write, just about to post, and suddenly becoming aware that there is no movie category):

Animal: Red Squirrel (How could I not? The next person to reply is of course taking bunny wabbits, so I'll take the adorable one I'm not sure people will think of!)
Music : Now that's what I call Christmas extended special edition (64 disc box set) (I'm teasing, those can enjoy their watery grave for all eternity!)
Illinoise by Sufjan Stevens. Its one of those albums that really moves me, so I couldn't possibly leave it behind, even if nobody else wants to listen to it at the other side.
Book: Kushiel's Dart. Purely altruistic. I haven't read the third book in the series, but I couldn't bring that and leave others hopelessly confused, could I? Lovely, sexy book... everybody needs a Melisande to drive them mad with desire.
Art The Parthenon. That's right, a huge bloody building. Hopefully the British and Greek boats could meet up somewhere around those little Alpine island and finally reunite all its pieces. (This choice is partly to show you guys you can think outside the box and imagine that your ark has enough space for whatever one item you want to bring!)
Movie : The Secretary. Its sexy, romantic and adorable. I'd have it played on every channel in my ark for the duration of the trip, and people who refuse to watch it will be forced, Clockwork Orange style (This suddenly got a whole lot more sinister, didn't it. Don't worry, I'm equal to you... well, perhaps a bit more equal.).

If you want to go a more sophisticated, more meaningful path with your choices, you know, Chopin, Kafka, Michelangelo, Uwe Boll, feel free! And remember, bring the bunnies.

Offline Neysha

Re: Noah's Ark V2.0
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2011, 06:50:48 PM »
Animal: Galapagos Tortoise. I don't think I need any explanation. Several hundred years from now, they are going to be telling their grandturtles about how they survived the Great Flood 2.0

Hallelujah, originally penned by Leonard Cohen, but the Jeff Buckley version is fantastic. Feel more emotion from his rendition then almost any other song.

Book: War of the Worlds by Nigel Ferguson. It's one of my favorite history books. Might have some lessons for us in the future as well when we get off this ship finally. And it's so big and tomelike, it'll take a long while to read.

Art: Ah geez... not really an art type of person. I guess I'd try and snag a portfolios worth of Kurz Allison lithographs, like the ones of the American Civil War. I love them so much for some reason.

Movie: Star Wars... the original trilogy if possible, but failing that, then Star Wars IV: A New Hope since that was the original and IMHO best film of the whole series and was the most self contained story of the whole bunch as well.

Offline Phoenixrisen

Re: Noah's Ark V2.0
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2011, 08:26:12 PM »
Animal: Clouded Leopard, they're my favorite.

Music: Bedlam Boys, originally a very old poem, I'd go for the version sung by Heather Alexander. I can get that song stuck in my head for days at a time and be happy about it.

Book: Something I had written. So that I could have a reminder of what I was like before.

Art:Pablo Picasso's Starry Night. It's one of my favorite paintings ever, and I usually don't care a whole lot for classical art.

Movie Repo! The Genetic Opera, just because it's awesome.