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Author Topic: Powerful Words  (Read 1707 times)

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Offline AthosTopic starter

Powerful Words
« on: April 06, 2011, 11:30:48 PM »
Someone once told me that the most powerful phrase in the English language is, “I love you.” To that, I have to disagree. It is my personal belief that the words “You aren’t good enough,” have the most power. It is those words that wake us up in the middle of the night with that hollow feeling in the pit of our stomachs. It is those words that fuel that little voice in the back of our heads that tells us we’re stupid or ugly or that we’ll never amount to anything. If I were to challenge the world to take one moment to reflect, it is my belief that each and every person would be able to come up with a singular defining moment in their lives in which these words were spoken to them. It may have been by a family member, or a close or friend. It may have happened when they were children, or it may have happened last night. Regardless of the who, what, when and why, it has happened; and it has left a mark on us that all the I-love-you’s in the world can’t erase. When I began this semester at college, those words were ringing louder in my ears than at any other point in my life. I walked into that classroom questioning every single decision I had ever made, and no matter how hard I tried to see the positive in them I was consistently coming up short. Since then, I have met and had the privilege of getting to know a lot of amazing people. I’ve accomplished things that I have never before done and I’ve pushed myself harder than ever before. Yet all the while, that little voice in my mind has continued to tell me that it’s not good enough and that hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach is still there more often than not. This isn’t meant to be a sob story, and I’m certainly not looking for a hundred comments telling me that I really am “good enough.” I’m not a broken person. What I am, and probably always will be, is a work in progress. What this is: is nothing more than prelude to a brief flash of insight I had into my own mind. Whenever I hear the words “You aren’t good enough,” it is always somebody else’s voice speaking them. When I hear my own voice, it’s speaking the words “You are.”

Offline wife4roleplay

Re: Powerful Words
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2011, 12:32:58 AM »
I think all depends on WHO is saying those words.
If Mother says "I love you" to her child these are the most powerful words in the world.
And this Mother would never say "You are not good enough". These words could be probably said by someone, who would say them to a stranger he does not care about. He would then go home and hope to hear "I love you " words.

Of course, I heard of a book written by a Chinese American about raising her daughters. Many people reading the book - full of descriptions of Sparta like raising - were terrified, that their caring and loving attitude would make their children unable to compete in the cruel world. I allow myself to have separate opinion. It is the power of Westen Civilization that love and care for children is an imprint in minds and history.

So forget the one whosaid "You are not..." and be close to someone who loves.
wife4roleplay

Offline AthosTopic starter

Re: Powerful Words
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2011, 09:04:10 AM »
You make a number of very good points, wife4roleplay. However, I would submit that as a people we tend to put more faith in the opinion that a stranger has of us over someone that we care about for the simple fact that the stranger is seen as an unbiased perspective (because they don't know us or have any particular feelings toward us) from which we can evaluate our self image. Now obviously this is a faulty sense of reasoning, because the stranger that we instinctively put so much faith in may in fact be just as biased or even more so than the person that we love. Yet we all do it to some degree and the trick, as you put it, is to stick with the people that build you up and not the ones that try to tear you down. Just as importantly, as I tried to point out in the piece, you need to listen to yourself before other people. If you truly believe that you are a worthwhile person, then nobody should have the power to break you down.

Offline crystaltears

Re: Powerful Words
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2011, 09:08:56 AM »
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, Athos. I'm rather struck by the confidence in these in particular

Whenever I hear the words “You aren’t good enough,” it is always somebody else’s voice speaking them. When I hear my own voice, it’s speaking the words “You are.”

on the tail end of:

When I began this semester at college, those words were ringing louder in my ears than at any other point in my life.

Good for you. And thanks again.  :-)

Offline AthosTopic starter

Re: Powerful Words
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2011, 12:24:02 PM »
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, Athos.

Thank you for taking the time to read them. :)

Offline Jated

Re: Powerful Words
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2011, 04:30:44 AM »
I agree with what you are saying.   However, I believe that the most powerful words I ever heard, were, "I wish I never gave birth to you."  Every time I heard "I Love You" after that, I knew that it was fake.  For the rest of my years growing up, I tried to find my place in this world. 


I found out, I didn't have to be told, I love you.  I, in fact, found that the words "I need you" were so much more real to me.  I do not seek sympathy.  I am now a strong woman, who holds dear to her heart, a wife (as legal as it can be).  I have two strong sons, and a great mother in law, whom I hold closer than my own.  I know that life is tough, and we are set into a path.   


I have found that with my IRL partner, who has loved me from the beginning, has always held her arms open for me, even when we are in the middle of a fight.  (Fighting is healthy, if done properly)  She cares, she is my absolute everything.  If not for her, I would be lost.


Sorry, don't mean to go on and on, but...hey isn't that what blogs are for?!?

Offline AthosTopic starter

Re: Powerful Words
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2011, 04:26:32 PM »
I agree with what you are saying.   However, I believe that the most powerful words I ever heard, were, "I wish I never gave birth to you." 

I'm so sorry that you had to hear such vile things from someone who is supposed to love unconditionally. However I am heartened to hear that you've managed to rise above such a terrible situation and find those things that were denied to you. As for going on and on, thats exactly what blogs are for so feel free to go nuts! :D