[D&D 5e] Acquisitions Incorporated; Internship Opportunities!

[Rummy Tum Tum]

That goddamn Warple. He's a crafty bastard!

[Chulanowa]

he would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!

[Rummy Tum Tum]

If he'd just accepted my clever (see:shady) proposition, he would've never got caught.

[Kathyan]

If you were raised by dwarves, or are like the dwarf version of an otaku? 

That said, I love dwarves. every game needs more dwarves.

I really don't like dwarves that much myself, have only played one once and it was in 2e but as I was thinking to play an erudite barbarian, lol, I need that feat so guess raised by dwarves or trained by them in case I aim for that as I haven't decided yet.

Yeah this game seems a little less sexy and a little more classic RPG dungeons and dragons...

Yeah, there's no intentions of a "smut game" here. If PC's want to bang, hey, that's cool, but it's not my, ahem, thrust. 

I know, just trying to cover all the possibilities ^^


Edit:
Ok will try to decide soon on whether a barbarian or a mystic, but I just saw the path of the ancestral guardian and I'd be aiming for that, it seems to me that it fits better.

[Doomblade403xxx]

• Character Names: Cedevax
• Concepts: An Escaped Slave that was once a barbarian on the Moonshae Isles
• Backgrounds:
   Cedevax was once a hunter and a warrior in his coastal tribe called Flat Shark Tribe. {A hammerhead shark} Their camp was assaulted by pirates and many of the warriors were killed in the assault. Cedevax lived and was sold to the Zhentarim as a pit fighter, while most of the other survivors were transported to Calimshan to be sold in the slave markets. As the wagon made it's way to Zhentil Keep it was assaulted by orc raiders. Cedevax made a very lucky escape from the battle, and has been on the run from Zhentarim ever since.

   He had several family members and friends still on the ship as it sailed away. One day he hopes to find them, but in his heart he knows they are either sold off or dead. He HATES the Zhentarim and Pirates with a passion and will likely kill either faction on sight. He likes strong ale, hard combat, and soft women. Oddly enough he was never married, and if you believe him, his tribe were polygamists. He wears very little in the way of clothing which draws alot of attention in the cities and hamlets.

   At times he will speak in his home language and no one is likely to know what he is saying. In truth he speaks to his god Silvanus. Cedevax is actually convinced they have an open dialogue and converse, which may mean Ced is a touch on the crazy side.

• Alignment: Chaotic Nuetral
• Races: Human
• Classes: Barbarian
• Trinkets: Small Box Filled with different Sized buttons {53}

[Chulanowa]

-Nudge- No photos. And yes I know it's technically a painting, but we all know that's Jason Momoa.

[Bibliophilia]

-added Frank to Gillie's post.-

[Guancyto]

-dances.-  Gnomes, man.  We'll need some big folks to cause distractions while we win the day, though.

Did somebody say "I wish there were an incredibly enthusiastic hero-to-be halfling paladin to tank for us?"

Austrahild Wanderfoot

As an orphan taken in by the temple of Avoreen, Austrahild was given tales of heroism, adventure and derring-do since she was knee-high (which wasn't actually as long ago as all that). When she came of age she spent everything she had on equipment and set out determined to kick ass and chew licorice root, and she's all out of licorice.

Her optimism is boundless, surely the reality of life as an adventurer-intern won't crush such strong spirits. And hey, it beats working retail...

[Chulanowa]

I love to imagine that she actually has worked retail. Like, selling bowls or something. Shady Larry's lathing emporium. 'Cuz she had to save up to buy her armor or something.

[Guancyto]

Slightly-used specialty furniture. Stocks, chopping blocks, guillotines and all machines, 99% clean and ready for use!

[Chulanowa]

Yeah, nothing worse than an unsanitary guillotine. You know they swab your neck with alcohol so you don't get an infection? it sounds silly, but we're in a universe with resurrect spells.

[greenknight]

I'd love to join the game and play William Hook, a human fighter with the polearm master feat, but I've got too many games right now 

Have fun, I will be reading.

[Chulanowa]

I see what you did there.

[greenknight]

I see what you did there.

"What? It's just a glaive glaive guisarme de corbin." -William Hook

[Doomblade403xxx]

That pic more to your liking?

[Chulanowa]

That pic more to your liking?

I'm always up for Conan, so sure 

[Sain]

Aww this looks like great fun but don't have time :<

Perhaps there will come need for replacement interns some day down the line.

[Rummy Tum Tum]

Gustavo Ventus

Personality: Gustavo presents himself as a gentleman and a scholar, with a rapier wit and the heart of nobility. Not so deep down, he's more of a crude and sarcastic ass with just enough morality to aid rather than hinder his fellow humanoids. He has aspirations for greatness and prestige; things he's sure he will one day attain. Even if he has to lie and cheat and swindle his way to them.

History: It's funny where one can find love. Whether it's with a giant scaled beast or a magical being from the elemental chaos. But that's a story of the past; a story of how he came to be. What is most important are the events that got him here.

In the not too distant past, a young Gustavo, fresh faced and carefree in spite of his dreadfully middle class upbringing, met another child his own age. A boy name Kor, who grew up poor, and had to steal and lie to get by. Now here is the point when most normal children would have considered this a lesson and learned to better appreciate what they had. Gustavo saw it as a lesson in how gullible grownups could be. From the moment of their first pickpocketing scam, the two were thick as thieves. That is, until years later, when Kor was caught holding the bag by a band of meddling kids and their stupid dog. Gustavo, being the kind of friend he was, subsequently fled town like a bat out of hell.

After having to depart from his home and his mother's care, Gustavo became something of a transient trickster. It was in this time that he discovered his arcane abilities, and all the stories of his ancestry finally clicked with him. He was born to be a powerful sorcerer. It was in his blood! And as with all advantages, he knew he had to use that as a means to make coin. Being an adventurer was fun and profitable, and rife with fame and prestige; or so he'd heard. Thus he set out to become one. Unfortunately, it was more difficult than he thought to get in with a good company. He didn't have the money or the fanaticism or the actual strength to fit in with most other adventuring companies. And so, with his ego at its trough and his desperation at its peak, he signed the incredibly sketchy contract that got him in with Acquisitions Incorporated.

Reason for Application: No one else would take me. I have deep respect for this company. And it has always been my goal, nay, my dream, to serve among such fine and prestigious persons.

[Crash]

-dances.-  Gnomes, man.  We'll need some big folks to cause distractions while we win the day, though.

Working on this guy....

[Bibliophilia]

Rummy, Gustavo is awesome.  -giggles.-

Crash, I love that image!  -wriggles in excitement for this game.-

[Rummy Tum Tum]

Thanks Bib. So's ol Pussyfoot and her valiant steed

[Chulanowa]

The applicants thus far!

Gillie Pussyfoot, gnome rogue going through a phase! She likes turtles.
Cedevax, Human Brobarian! Fistbump.
Austrahild Wanderfoot, the manic halfling dream girl paladin.
Gustavo Ventus, Genasi sorcerer and - apparently - professional kissass.

Surely there are more to come? Wizards of repute? Spoony bards? A dragonborn monk with a pet mouse who once got into a barfight with Minsc? Three kobolds in a trenchcoat posing as a warlock? A human fighter named Rethgif?

[Hexed]

Another gnome! Sadly more mad scientist then funny. But my humour tends to fall towards the darker spectrum so...  Although the three kobolds posing as a warlock could be funny as hell to play. Surprisingly few pictures did I find searching alchemist cannons. :(  And I've yet to figure out how a pair of topless spellcasters counts as cannons even if the one was very top heavy.

Ella BoomingSong Scheppen Stumbleduck

An alchemist and inventor of Grand Inventions, at least within her own mind. A stereotypical rock gnome in most ways she's a horror within any lab as she's quite convinced that the best creations involve massive explosions or horrifically loud sounds. No sooner had her training and initiation into the grand Guild of Alchemists been completed then they sent her out into the world to ensure all of her ideas work in the field. A pity they shipped her out so fast that she didn't get to enjoy the party in her honour.  Oddly enough very few of the Adventurer Companies took her intentions of field testing things on her fellows very well. But hey. This Acquisitions Incorporated takes anyone!

[Zaer Darkwail]

Chugheck Mudbrew
Mountain Dwarf Barbarian 1 (Mercenary Veteran; The Bloodaxes)

Biography: Chugcheck Mudbrew (or Chug for short) is a funshack....sag? Whatever! He is great guy; enjoys drinking, eatting and fucking (not that order mind you) and enjoys good brawl and fight whenever he can and enjoy life fullest! Sad though he was banished from Mithril Halls because he punted king Bruenor's ale mug and calling it piss water (which it was, as Mudbrew's are proud brewers and Chug was insulted king prefered drink anything over his family brewed!). He was almost executed but was instead exiled, so as criminally charged by king Bruenor he was not welcome to other dwarven halls and instead joined with The Bloodaxes, which accepts any misfits, criminals and other unwanted personel. The group felt like family, soulmates almost! So much fun and closeness he felt to them he gladly showed his appreciation with his brewed ale and enjoying it with them (and unleash joyous laugther and dwarven tier of biogas releases which matched pace of his laugther in release!).

Then at Waterdeep the group had....forgot him for sure as they sure should not forget Chug! As his stench of him should stick to them for weeks at least! No matter, Chug had fun with them and would not mind rejoin them again, but for now he needs work and needs work through the tiny hand writing in the contract form and find where spit smear his name under.....

Sexuality: Sex...duality....ubality....ability....bah! Sex! I love sex! I am shirtless bearded god of sex! Bring me wenches!

Reason for Application: Drinked, passed out, merc company left without me and I need work to drink and eat more....

This is Chug's tankard mug, it's his most beloved possession of his. As his great-great-great-great grandfather got it gift from high dwarven king long time ago for loyal service as royal guard and royal brewer. So all Mudbrew's had drinked from same mithril mug across generations, passed between father and son when son takes first taste of family brew which has been brewed fit of a king. So dare insult his mug, I dare you!

[Bibliophilia]

Okay.  I got Gillie's history written up and she should be all done now.