[D&D 5e] Acquisitions Incorporated; Internship Opportunities!

[Bibliophilia]

I call the head!

[Cold Heritage]

...So Ilmater is Catholic?
boooo, hiss, booo!
What? what's I'd say?

That looks a lot better Cold.

Thanks.

[Guancyto]

Maybe they can discover a spell where five of them combine to form a human-sized adventurer. Like Voltron.

Unity of the Closed Fist!

Also, because it's a comedy game about hapless wannabe adventurers, and while Merry and Pippin weren't the original hapless wannabe adventurers, they sure do fit the bill!

[Chulanowa]

<booknerd>They weren't hapless! Or comic relief! Arghblargargle!</booknerd>

Sorry, sorry, I'm fine. Everything is fine.

[Guancyto]

They certainly weren't as goofy in the books as they were in the movies, but all of the hobbits were still kind of hapless everymen thrust into circumstances far beyond their ken. And they got some comedy now and again.

Alternatively, it is definitely a game about the little people rather than the people who are larger-than-life, those of us playing shortstacks are just applying an extra level of visual metaphor to it!

[Cold Heritage]

I do salute you for increasing the number of shortstacks on Elliquiy. Truly a worthy endeavor.

[Chulanowa]

Update: To be frank I didn't expect to get this much interest. Wow guys.  I'm also baffled at the lack of elves. especially when drow are an option. What the hell people, I thought this was E?

I'm going to keep recruitment going until Wednesday. The game isn't first-come-first serve, so if you want to toss in an application, by all means, please do so. At this rate it looks like i'm going to have to pick six people from the herd. So. hey, there we go.

[Cold Heritage]

I was going to be an elf, but things got dangerously Slaanesh-y. I also had a hard time finding a picture that wasn't Warcraft or Warhammer and suffering from an acute case of SPESS MEHREEN pauldron.

[CurvyKitten]

may have missed this, what is the starting gold? As there is no average stated next to the table.

[Chulanowa]

may have missed this, what is the starting gold? As there is no average stated next to the table.

With 5E, you get a set of starting gear from your class and your background. Most backgrounds do give you a small amount of gold. What exactly you get is found under the relevant class / background sections 

[CurvyKitten]

NSFW

Inara Bigstone (aka SQUIRREL)

~Personality~
Inara or better known as Squirrel is all brash and no tact. She lives life to the fullest, drinks, fights, fucks, and hunts whenever she can. If you are looking for a smart, smooth talker, well then you are looking in the wrong place. You want to know the honest truth, well then she is your girl. Want some sense knocked into someone, or to survive the great untamed wilderness, then feel free to ask her for some help.

Honor, glory, and a good time motivate her, as does coin and a good drink. She cares deeply for her clan and those that manage to get close. And of course can be quick to anger when those things are threatened. Or you spill her drink, I mean really that is just rude! Down right fearless, and ready to rumble, and doesn't look half bad carrying her big ass Great Axe.

~History~
Inara knows nothing of her origins, what she does know is that she was found by a nomadic clan of barbarians. And thankfully they didn't eat her or mistake her for chew to for their wolves. In fact the small little rager stole their hearts the moment she chomped down on her daddy's finger and drew first blood.

She was of course tiny, but fierce all the same. Her roar more a growl, but soon even her clansmen found she was not to be taken lightly. Specially with such an interesting reach. Go ahead, ask her how she got the nickname Squirrel....I dare you.

Upon coming of age Inara was told she had to find her own glory before she could rejoin her clan. Each barbarian had to make a name for themselves, earn the right to carry on their bloodline. And damned if she didn't want the chance, even if her bloodline was clearly and interesting one. And so she was off! Only problem was she had no coin and no idea where to start. But one night a local tavern she was introduced to a recruiter for  Acquisitions Incorporated. And after many...many...MANY drinks she signed on the dotted line and passed out. Till the next morning where she woke up ready to start her first adventure!

[Doomblade403xxx]

So do you us to post up the actual character sheets here or send them to you or what?

[Vreski]

Gloria Hollister/Captain Gloria
Human Warlock 1 (Sailor; Former Pirate Captain)

Biography: Gloria can be described as outgoing, spontaneous, impulsive, energetic, and courageous. She's also a little bit greedy and loves collecting treasure. She's very upset that her previous treasure hoard is now at the bottom of the ocean. Gloria is also very loyal to those who befriend her and her crew means the world to her. She's also very upset that her previous crew is also at the bottom of the ocean with her ship and treasure.

Starting out in life, Gloria was born from a prostitute in small run down town on the coast. Shortly there after, she was given away to the Rusty Trombone orphanage where she grew up and received what little education she has. She hated the hard knock life of the orphanage and when she finally turned 16, she ran away from the Rusty Trombone to stowaway on a ship. That ship was then attacked by pirates that took over the ship. They found Gloria hiding in a barrel of apples and brought her on deck where they were keeping the rest of the crew. They were then all offered by the pirates to join them or die. The crew refused to join them and they made them all walk the plank. Gloria had no problem joining them though and became a pirate.

The pirate ship was called the Gruesome Tuesday and it's captain was the infamous Captain Sawtooth Seasaw. He didn't last very long though and ended up dying from scurvy. In fact, a lot of the pirate crew kept dying from scurvy because they all refused to eat their fruits and vegetables like Gloria. Eventually, in the cycle of fellow pirates dying of scurvy and recruiting new pirates from conquered ships, Gloria found herself with the highest standing seniority and became the captain of the Gruesome Tuesday.

Over the next few years, Captain Gloria became a terror of the sea looting hundreds of ships with her scurvy stricken crew. One day, they looted a treasure map off of a ship of adventurers and promptly set sail for the distant island the treasure appeared to be on. The treasure wasn't what they were expecting though, turning out to be some kind of puzzle box. Gloria had it brought back to her captain's quarters and ended up solving the puzzle on the high seas. Solving the puzzle box released an ancient demon that then bound itself to Gloria giving her Warlock powers and knocking her out. It then destroyed her ship and slaughtered her crew. Gloria woke up on a beach a few days later, where the demon explained to her what had happened and offered her a wish genie style to make up for destroying her ship. Due to a lack of clear thought and a hasty poorly worded wish to be super sexy, Gloria now has pink hair, head sized tits and a minotaur cock. She's pissed off to the extreme at the demon she is bound to, but she has no idea where it has gone off to. She hopes to one day be strong enough to hunt it down and kill it.

Sexuality: Yes please (Bisexual)

Reason for Application: After losing her previous crew, Gloria is hoping to find people willing to join her new crew. She's also hoping to earn a lot of money in order to buy a new ship.

[Chulanowa]

ooooh, a halfling that falls over when they use a greataxe!

And.. .Vreski, d'ya have a pirate captain lady that isn't anime-style? hate to be a nag, but it's like... there in the OP, please no photos / anime / manga   

[Chulanowa]

So do you us to post up the actual character sheets here or send them to you or what?

Here on the thread is just fine

[CurvyKitten]

ooooh, a halfling that falls over when they use a greataxe!

And.. .Vreski, d'ya have a pirate captain lady that isn't anime-style? hate to be a nag, but it's like... there in the OP, please no photos / anime / manga   

LOL NO (ok wait is booze involved?), as far as I saw there was no size issues in 5e. If there was I'd taken monkey grip like in 3.5 Beside she has a decent strength for such a little thing.

[Chulanowa]

LOL NO (ok wait is booze involved?), as far as I saw there was no size issues in 5e. If there was I'd taken monkey grip like in 3.5 Beside she has a decent strength for such a little thing.

Well... there kind of is. Small characters get disadvantage when attacking with weapons that have the "heavy" trait - longbows, greataxes, mauls, that sort of thing. meaning you roll two dice to attack and take the lowest.

'Course, those handaxes work just fine! Or if you want to trade the greataxe for a weapon with the versatile trait, that's be fine with me/.

[CurvyKitten]

Well... there kind of is. Small characters get disadvantage when attacking with weapons that have the "heavy" trait - longbows, greataxes, mauls, that sort of thing. meaning you roll two dice to attack and take the lowest.

'Course, those handaxes work just fine! Or if you want to trade the greataxe for a weapon with the versatile trait, that's be fine with me/.

STILL WORTH IT! LOL You can't tell me that it isn't a sight to see. LOL

[Chulanowa]

STILL WORTH IT! LOL You can't tell me that it isn't a sight to see. LOL

We'll get her some shoes with ball bearings and just let her spin.

[CurvyKitten]

We'll get her some shoes with ball bearings and just let her spin.

I have no quarrels with this. hehe Spinning dervish of DOOM!

[greenknight]

may have missed this, what is the starting gold? As there is no average stated next to the table.

With 5E, you get a set of starting gear from your class and your background. Most backgrounds do give you a small amount of gold. What exactly you get is found under the relevant class / background sections 

The starting gear is an average utilization of the roll. Sort of. A lot of "class kits" include a lot more than they would get by rolling.

[Zaer Darkwail]

And.. .Vreski, d'ya have a pirate captain lady that isn't anime-style? hate to be a nag, but it's like... there in the OP, please no photos / anime / manga   

To help dear Vreski I present options :)

Pirate lass gallery

[Crash]

-amused as hell by Barnabus.-

Thank you dear. He was amusing to write up.

[CurvyKitten]

The starting gear is an average utilization of the roll. Sort of. A lot of "class kits" include a lot more than they would get by rolling.

barbarians don't really get that much, not even any armor. Hence I spent the 10 gold I got from my background on it. lol

[Zaer Darkwail]

Barbarian do not need armor. They get unarmored defense in 1st level where they add Con modifier (besides dex and bonus given by shield) to their AC. Ofc you can don and wear medium armor if you want to, but in 1st level going topless as barbarian actually makes more sense .