Spanking Advice?

[Jester]

Hi,

I am wanting to introduce my gf to spanking. Its something I have fantasized about for ages and she is happy to try it.

How can i help ensure she enjoys it? What do girls like about it?

Are there any resources on the internet to help?

Thanks

[CaptainErotica]

 Try Google or Wikepedia. If you Google Spanking/erotic spanking it should give you lots of sites, and the link ot the wki. i'm sure there is one. That's how I researched my role as a bondage photographer, in one of my games here.

[Elvi]

My advice is make it light hearted, fun and part of a game.
That way it is deffinately seen as a 'game' and can't be mixed up with real life issues where it is seen as a punishment.

Let her dictate the time and situation and start off very gently so that you can see how she reacts.

I had a partner once who thought it would be fun to give me a spanking, he gave me the first slap and almost got a punch back.
Not only was it painful, but it caused my 'self preservation' to kick in and needless to say he never tried that one again.

[Jester]

Ok cool.

Have you ever tried and found you enjoyed it though Elvi?

[Mia]

I do believe I should toss in my 2 cent into this.

I enjoy spanking, more then some I can even believe to but what I like and how I like it can never be put onto someone else. Instead that is something you have to try out for yourself. I would recommend that you start out by adding it to your sexlife, try light at first have her test how she likes it, how hard and how much... But a warning, don't tie her up in the first try and come up with some kind of safe word when she thinks it is to much. An example would be for instance "Hippo", "Skyscraper" or whatever. Never use a gag until you really know what you are doing... you will need to be able to communicate by your own voice at first.

[Jester]

Ok. Thats excellent.

Its hard knowing how to get someone to like someone when quite frankly they think its a little bit odd. But I think small steps is the way to go and I am lucky she is open minded.

[Elvi]

Oh go for the naughty school girl roleplay.....or something similar, don't make it you spanking her

In that way you make sure that it's a sex game and not anything else.

And no.....I'm afraid I'm not really into 'spanking', it's the self preservation thing again, there is no way I could get enjoyment out of being put over someone's knee and spanked, but that doesn't mean to say that I haven't used or had used on me, the odd 'smack' on the behind during play......

[Mia]

Well there is always that much people what to try out. Don't think it will be something she can get used too, either she likes it and you can go on with it... or she don't... I have had bf that couldn't get themself to spank me even when I asked them, not more then one or two blows anyway.

Good luck :), always remember that the road to great achivements are communications.

Listen to Elvi... she is wise.

[Swedish Steel]

Wait, you're not into spanking, Elvi? I could've sworn you were...

[Elvi]

No.......I am more into punching wind up merchants, especially ones from sweden whose site name ends in Steel.......

[CaptainErotica]

   *sneaks up behind Mia and spanks her with a riding crop*
 
  The girls make good points. For alot of people spankings are assiciated with beibg bad. For example I remember getting spanked with a piece of wood, or a switch, when i did something wrong as a child. Some people are able to see past that and come to enjoy it. Other's never will. Making her feel comfortable with it, giving her the sense that she is in control -even if she might not really be so- can go a long way toward enhancing her enjoyment of the ordeal.  Like Mia said, Communication is key. If she doesn't like it, then she needs to be able to tell you and you will need to be able to understand and accept it.


@Swede: Elvi's very good at using smoke and mirrors to disguise her true nature.

@Elvi  Ooh i'd pay money to see that.

[Jester]

Oh I realise she might not like it and I am happy to stop if she doesn't.

We are good communicators so i dont think there will be any problems. But i just wanted to ensure I didnt make any silly mistakes.

[Elvi]

Oh good grief, making silly mistakes is all part of the fun!

[Mia]

Depends how severe they are

[CaptainErotica]

    Perhaps a sample spanking is in order. any volunteers. *winks at Mia*

[Elvi]

Depends how severe they are

Well silly as opposed to stupid.

Feeling uncomfortable or just plain silly while you are being tossed/or tossing someone over your knee results in much giggling.

Spanking a little too hard can result in lots of kisses to the effected area, or ice cubes or just 'sorry hugs and cuddles.

Of course Spanking far too hard can also lead to black eye, broken ribs, hospital food and expencive dental treatment.......*laughs*

[CaptainErotica]

 Remind me never to try and spank you dear.

[Swedish Steel]

Then you're doing it wrong, Elvi. You are supposed to spank their bottom, not smash their face in. That's not sexy at all.

[Lirliel]

Uhm.. well some guys who are into that whole.. well the part where if I step on it with combat boots it hurts ALOT scene. So maybe they would enjoy it

But I got spanked just as a joke first by someone I knew, we always used to spank eachother. But after a while I started to really like it, made me feel naughty so as Elvi said, perhaps you can do it playfully first. Just have for example a game where you ask trivia questions on all sorts of things and whoever gets the question wrong gets placed over the knee and takes three spanks.

[Elvi]

Uhm.. well some guys who are into that whole.. well the part where if I step on it with combat boots it hurts ALOT scene. So maybe they would enjoy it
<snip>

Errrr....yeah.....I've had dealings with that type also, that's not really my scene either....

[Cherri Tart]

just adding my two cents, although it's hardly needed - some wonderful advice here.  Thing is, like everything else, tastes are so individual... i think the best way is to keep an open dialogue going - oh, and talking dirty as well as RPing the situation are sure to be added stimuli.  It's really hard to give advice when you don't know the person...  as you can see, different people react so differently.  In my case, i have a hard time convincing people that yes, i really want to be hit that hard and no, if i cry out, i don't want you to stop, it's perfect... but, if this is her first time, yes - go gentle at first... mabye agree before hand that you'll ramp it up a little as you go, but when it gets close to her uncomfortable point, she needs to tell you and you can back off a little :)

[CaptainErotica]

 My god woam nwhere were you when I was single....*Sighs*

Isn't it funyn how you meet all the good ones after you meet "The" good one?

[Elvi]

Nope I found THE good one and I'm keeping him, the rest can just wish they were with me.....

[Jester]

ME too.

[Airindel]

I feel like I should add something to this discussion simply because I have enjoyed both receiving and giving spankings for years now, and I sincerely believe the advice given here has been wonderful. Please forgive me if I reiterate anything previously mentioned.

First of all, I’m into pleasurable spankings, one that will delight and arouse both me and my partner instead of punishment spankings. There is a major difference between these, and one can find sites on the net for both, and it is important to establish whether the spanking it is for fun and delight, or not. One does not want to cross boundaries. With that mentioned, communication, safety, and respect, I think, are key parts of the enjoyment to spankings.

Discuss how you wish to do the spanking because if it is a first time experience, you want it to be a good one or else the situation can quickly sour.  Agree to a comfortable location for the two of you, and a position. Many resources state that over the knee is the most intimate while being bent over a bed or table is less and being pillowed up face down on a bed is more of a victimizing position. Is one going to strike with the hand, or use an implement, and for the first time, a hand is better, and again, intimate. How is one going to wield that hand? Strangely enough, it does matter. Having a relaxed hand with fingers separated deals a harder, stinging slap in comparison to a rigid hand. Then, one should consider the following: How hard is one going to strike, for how long, is a safe word going to be used or not, and what about clothes? What one does after the spanking matters greatly too.   

I could expand on the above, but I think mentioning some of the basics of it are best. Read the advice, extract from it, research the topic and have fun experimenting.