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Author Topic: People who love their cars too much  (Read 2108 times)

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Online HairyHereticTopic starter

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People who love their cars too much
« on: March 12, 2007, 05:22:20 AM »
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/03/09/car_lovers/

Gotta love El Reg  ;D

Man claims to have made love to over 30 cars

Website shows how to really pop the trunk

By Joe Fay → More by this author
Published Friday 9th March 2007 13:49 GMT
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A British man has confessed to making love to over 30 different cars and setting up a website to explain his techniques to the masses.

It was British tabloid The Sun which today lifted the bonnet on people who love cars – a little too much.

It quoted the story of Chris, apparently a 38 year old from the West Country, who claims to have made the beast with two boots with everything from a Peugeot 205 to his current squeeze, a Jag XK8. Donald is not afraid of exploring the boundaries of his sexuality. He’s also had brief flings with two motorboats and a jetski.

Donald tells the paper that a nice car was a “feast for the sense…smells, feelings, and tastes.”

Not only does he like a bit of quick fit action, he also runs a website devoted to his auto erotic pastime, and claims to be in touch with about 500 other crankshaft fanatics.

Chris’s site appears to be here. We hope he’s got extra bandwidth lined up, as no doubt it will soon be overloaded with other vehicle lovers hoping to stage the ultimate car key party.

A quick cruise of the web uncovers extensive evidence of this major contributor to global warming. Here on YouTube a woman pleasures an automobile, while here fans discuss strategies to ease the pain of tailpipe action.

Being asked if you want a good hand wax and polish will never be the same.

Offline Elvi

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2007, 06:50:12 AM »
Now that IS a true pansexual

Online HairyHereticTopic starter

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Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2007, 07:05:20 AM »
I don't recall him confessing a love for pans, only cars :)

Offline Elvi

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2007, 07:06:51 AM »
*holds head in hands and sighs*

Online HairyHereticTopic starter

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Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #4 on: March 12, 2007, 07:09:31 AM »
*chuckles*

I've come across stranger. I recall a story in one of the Fortean Times books about a guy with an *ahem* love of pavements. And bin liners.

Offline Swedish Steel

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2007, 07:12:36 AM »
Hehe, gives a new meaning to autoerotic.

Offline Elvi

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #6 on: March 12, 2007, 07:29:15 AM »
Oh don't you just love Fortean Times?
(In a none sexual way I mean)

Online HairyHereticTopic starter

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Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2007, 08:11:40 AM »
Very much so. I have the Books of Strange Deaths, More Strange Deaths, Weird Sex, Bizarre Behaviour, Inept Crime (and one or two others hiding on me).

Some of the stories have left me in tears of laughter.

Offline Elvi

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2007, 08:13:46 AM »
We used to get the magazine, perfect 'toilet' reading, for some reason we have stopped...must get Strangely back into picking it up again.....

Offline CaptainErotica

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2007, 08:37:03 AM »
 I love my Nissan Skyline, but this is a bit much. Hmm. i ownder if he gets better gas milage.

  *Runs out to his car*
   
   "you know baby you look really good in those tires"*Stokes her hood*"How bout i give you an ice lube job later."    ;D ;D ;D

Online HairyHereticTopic starter

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Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2007, 08:38:46 AM »
I'd be more concerned if his activity voided the service warranties  ;)

Offline CaptainErotica

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #11 on: March 12, 2007, 08:40:31 AM »
 Or if he got reported for sexual assault.

"Mr Goodyear you are charged with sexually assualting your Winabego..How do you plee?"

Online HairyHereticTopic starter

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Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #12 on: March 12, 2007, 08:56:18 AM »
Since the vehicle is unlikely to press charges, I think its more liklely going to be a public prosecution for 'outraging public deceny' or whatever the appropriate charge is.

Offline Swedish Steel

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #13 on: March 12, 2007, 08:57:52 AM »
It's criminal to be decent now days? Woho, gonna start being outrageously indecent.

Offline CaptainErotica

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #14 on: March 12, 2007, 08:58:17 AM »
  Indecent exposure. No one wants to see what your Yugo has under her hood sir.

Offline Elvi

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #15 on: March 12, 2007, 09:01:18 AM »
Now I am sure that he does it in the privacy of his own garage, or in the case of a group orgy, a multi story car park.....

Offline Swedish Steel

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #16 on: March 12, 2007, 09:03:00 AM »
Yeah, he might be running from car to car with his pants around his ancles.

Offline CaptainErotica

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #17 on: March 12, 2007, 09:05:11 AM »
   Why am I suddenly picturing an XXX rated version of CARS.

Offline Swedish Steel

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #18 on: March 12, 2007, 09:05:43 AM »
Because you're a perv?

Online HairyHereticTopic starter

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Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #19 on: March 12, 2007, 09:07:02 AM »
Good explanation

Offline CaptainErotica

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #20 on: March 12, 2007, 09:26:38 AM »
 I never said I'd play in it. But your right I am such a perv.

Offline Celestial Goblin

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #21 on: March 12, 2007, 05:34:05 PM »
Some people are in hardcore S&M relationship with their cars.
http://www.cabvision.com/images/IBM/fawltyCar.jpg

Online HairyHereticTopic starter

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Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #22 on: March 12, 2007, 05:39:03 PM »
There's no one can rant quite like John Clease  :)

Offline Elvi

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #23 on: March 12, 2007, 05:46:18 PM »
Now THAT Celestial, is what makes British Comedy some of the best in the world.
I must have seen that clip thousands of times and I still cannot help but laugh.

Offline Swedish Steel

Re: People who love their cars too much
« Reply #24 on: March 12, 2007, 06:10:57 PM »
Now THAT Celestial, is what makes British Comedy some of the best in the world.
I must have seen that clip thousands of times and I still cannot help but laugh.

Scratch that. British comedy is THE best in the world, nothing comes close.