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Author Topic: It Gets Better in Texas  (Read 900 times)

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Offline alxnjshTopic starter

It Gets Better in Texas
« on: October 13, 2010, 04:39:30 PM »
This was more moving than my cold heart cares to admit.

Joel Burns tells gay teens ' it gets better'

Offline Ryven

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Re: It Gets Better in Texas
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2010, 04:58:30 PM »
This was really hard to watch at points without getting emotional myself. :(

Offline Mithlomwen

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Re: It Gets Better in Texas
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2010, 05:28:26 PM »
My 13 year old came down the stairs as I started watching this, and watched it with me....

I looked at him, and literally cried my eyes out trying to imagine what the parents of the children that committed suicide must have felt.   My heart just breaks for the kids who endure that sort of bullying.  It shouldn't happen.  Especially in our schools where kids are supposed to feel safe. 

I hope the message he is trying to get out there does in fact get out there and people put a stop to bullying....of all kinds....before more kids' lives are lost. 

Offline jouzinka

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Re: It Gets Better in Texas
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2010, 05:36:21 PM »
I'm getting emotional when hearing about the suicides alone. So young and so senseless waste of life.  :'(

I guess this is about as good a place... How does ANYONE know they're gay/lesbian/bi at 13? I mean... looking back when I was 13, I may have fooled around with guys, but it was more because it was somehow expected of me, not because they actually interested me. Tried it once and stopped until I was at college and I had doubts about my orientation until well after 23.

How do you know your orientation so early that at 13 you can't stand the years of bullying anymore? :-\ Totally escapes my understanding.

Offline meikle

Re: It Gets Better in Texas
« Reply #4 on: October 13, 2010, 10:21:28 PM »
How do you know your orientation so early that at 13 you can't stand the years of bullying anymore? :-\ Totally escapes my understanding.

You don't even have to know your orientation to be bullied about it for years.  :(

Offline alxnjshTopic starter

Re: It Gets Better in Texas
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2010, 11:03:31 PM »
You don't even have to know your orientation to be bullied about it for years.  :(

This. Yes.  :'(

I was one of those scarecrow like kids that got picked on until I found hockey.

It even happened in college. I remember one kid...I still can't believe I didn't deck him...there was a dance where guys dressed as girls and girls dressed as guys. He asked me what I was going to go as. I asked him if he'd go with me and walked away. I still remember every second of that conversation and all his friends laughing at me.

Offline Trieste

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Re: It Gets Better in Texas
« Reply #6 on: October 13, 2010, 11:53:28 PM »
While I try to always keep it in mind, recent events and stories like these serve as a jarring reminder of how lucky I was to be raised in an environment where I was more worried about bringing home a D or F in school than I was about coming out to my family and friends.

I think that such an environment is every kid's right, and it horrifies me, deeply and profoundly, that this is going on.

Offline jouzinka

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Re: It Gets Better in Texas
« Reply #7 on: October 14, 2010, 04:46:16 AM »
You don't even have to know your orientation to be bullied about it for years.  :(
Point.

On another note, you can be bullied for just about everything. I was bullied for having good grades. In an environment, where not going to work was practically a virtue I was bullied that my dad was a successful businessman.

One of the kids, though, was 15 when he committed suicide. And he was bullied for years after having come out at the age of 13 (if I got that right) to his friends. Hence my question.

Offline meikle

Re: It Gets Better in Texas
« Reply #8 on: October 14, 2010, 02:20:21 PM »
Point.

On another note, you can be bullied for just about everything. I was bullied for having good grades. In an environment, where not going to work was practically a virtue I was bullied that my dad was a successful businessman.

One of the kids, though, was 15 when he committed suicide. And he was bullied for years after having come out at the age of 13 (if I got that right) to his friends. Hence my question.

You can get bullied for everything, but whether or not you can find outside support to help you deal with that is a lot different.

"Mom, some kids were picking on me because dad makes more money than they do."  "They're just jealous, don't let it get to you!"

"Mom, some kids were picking on me because I'm gay!"  "You're what?"

Anecdotally, I got a lot of "[meikle], you're not gay are, you?  Promise?" from my mom growing up.  Think I'd ever want to tell her that I was gay, let alone go to her for support when people came down on me for it?  Hell, she still tells me I'm just 'being rebellious'.  That's like, the opposite of support.

Offline jouzinka

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Re: It Gets Better in Texas
« Reply #9 on: October 14, 2010, 02:51:13 PM »
That is sad, meikle, and I'm sure that it certainly does play a big role in why those kids chose to harm themselves, I didn't question that. Good for you to be strong enough to push through on your own, though.

Offline meikle

Re: It Gets Better in Texas
« Reply #10 on: October 14, 2010, 02:54:22 PM »
That is sad, meikle, and I'm sure that it certainly does play a big role in why those kids chose to harm themselves, I didn't question that. Good for you to be strong enough to push through on your own, though.

Well, I never had it very bad -- and I don't mean to complain.  I think it's important to keep in mind that the lack of support for these kids can be a big problem, is all. :(

Offline MasterMischief

Re: It Gets Better in Texas
« Reply #11 on: October 14, 2010, 09:21:09 PM »
For anyone in my neck of the woods, Out Youth Austin.

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Re: It Gets Better in Texas
« Reply #12 on: October 16, 2010, 07:43:05 AM »
On topic: I'm very moved by everyone who has made these types of statements.  I've made statements like this, without the homosexual context, to bullied students as well, and I don't think kids get to hear this sort of message enough from adults.  Both age groups tend to ignore the fact that adults were once kids and kids will one day be adults; sadly, the transitory nature of any bullying or abusive situation tends to be lost on the victim, which gives the abusers even more power.

Off topic: Kids are more aware, I think, of non-heterosexual lifestyles than, for instance, when I was young.  I didn't know any adult in my life that was openly homosexual or bisexual, though as an adult I learned that a few were closeted.  In contrast, the children in my family now are aware of what gays and lesbians are even as young as 7 years old.  Being more exposed to the fact that one does not have to be straight makes kids more educated about sexual preferences and makes them more easily and earlier come out.  Honestly, I was aroused by female images all through my developmental years, but did not identify myself as bisexual until my 30s.  Had I been better educated and had more openly gay or bisexual role models in my life, I might have made that identification sooner.