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Author Topic: From Suffering; Born Anew.  (Read 1047 times)

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Offline KhorazTopic starter

From Suffering; Born Anew.
« on: September 20, 2010, 02:21:52 PM »
Quote
From Suffering; Born Anew.


You gave me strength in burning lust and I
The disobedient child sought freedom
Lost among a sea of hostile faces;
There I knew my options were to feed or
Lose myself in futile temporary
Sheaths of ski n and bone; futile sacs of flesh.

From Lust I took new form in raging sky
In place of my hunger I would bleed them
Skin burned to bone all creeds all foul races
What had been before was gone; spirit soar
And cleave a brutal grove in sanctuary
Unholy rage allowing lust afresh

But finally you carved from pride a sigh
And just as cleansing witches’ black besom
Wipes out purity you swept dark traces
From angelic diatribes of Bethor
And so dark spirits fled en masse from thee
Oh Lucifer-eternal souls I'll thresh.

To give some background to this poem: On the roleplay site where I cam from, my dearest character was one Nyx Alurane. She began life as a succubus, however upon a struggle with a trio of mages, she was banished into the depths of Hell where she suffered greatly, due to jealousy regarding her freedom to flit upward as she pleased. It was there, in the Great Below that His Infernal Majesty; Lucifer, paid her a visit.

She pleaded with him for the power to earn vengeance upon those who had wronged her, and in Hi mercy, He agreed. The transfer of power was not a pleasant one however; Nyx was torn asunder by Him, the body ravaged, soul crushed and thought that suffering she was remade into a vessel of Pride; recrafted in His image and so she rose upward once again as an Avatar of Dawn, aiming to please her most beloved Lord.

Please tell me what you think - I'm always eager for constructive criticism.

Thanks for reading.

Offline Dark Rhain

Re: From Suffering; Born Anew.
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2010, 10:14:04 PM »
It was beautiful, in a troubling sort of way...which I think all great poetry does.

That Rp you played must have been very moving to play...

Offline KhorazTopic starter

Re: From Suffering; Born Anew.
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2010, 10:48:22 AM »
Thank you very much for the kind words :-) I think beautiful and disturbing are the two best words to describe the poem, and indeed the one whom it's written about, so it's fitting that you thought such.

Thank you again!

Offline Nicholas

  • Mr. Nice Guy (or so I am told) :-) Jag's Mulder *muse crack* Deviously delicious - according to a certain, most awesome Liege ;) King of Terrible. Always innocent despite what Caedy says. Spoiler buttons are evil. 42,19km!
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Re: From Suffering; Born Anew.
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2010, 11:13:22 AM »
This is very beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us. :-)

Offline KhorazTopic starter

Re: From Suffering; Born Anew.
« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2010, 11:14:52 AM »
:-) Oh no, no; thank you for reading! I like to think I can bring a little entertainment to people's lives, so if I have, if only for a moment, I'm glad. Thank you for reading!

Offline Dark Rhain

Re: From Suffering; Born Anew.
« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2010, 05:24:28 PM »
One story I co-write has Fallen angels and bibical figures that were doomed still walking a modern day AU earth...every time I see you name I see the main Protag in my head...Azrael the tragic yet heroic Angel of Death..

Offline KhorazTopic starter

Re: From Suffering; Born Anew.
« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2010, 05:25:42 PM »
Ohh, that roleplay sounds wonderful; I love the biblical stories and figures, so I like to link my characters to them if I can... Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.

*Bows deeply*

Offline Chevalier des Poissons

Re: From Suffering; Born Anew.
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2010, 10:30:04 PM »
Oh, I like it. There seems to be a hidden passion below the darkness that is the life of the succubus, feeding from her lust as she feels that she has nothing else without it. Wonderful in it's own peculiar way. Very nice :-)