Reasons why Portal is the female version of an FPS:
1. The main character is female.
2. The main villain is female.
3. Your only weapon is a gun that shoots...VAGINAS--I mean, space-time tunnel apertures.
4. The game is based around evasion and manipulation instead of confrontation and domination.
5. The turrets. They are the exact opposite of a parody of everything women supposedly hate about regular shooting games. Violence, profanity, blood, evil symbolism, chauvinism...the turrets are always polite and apologize even if you kill them. Because everyone is nice in a woman's world.
6. Just like actual women, the main villain (GLaDOS) is actually powerless to physically do anything to you. The only weapon GLaDOS has is emotional manipulation. Just like women.
7. The company is called Aperture Science and women have an aperture between their legs.
8. The game starts and ends with a cute song instead of a bunch of dead people.
9. The game promises you a reward at the end if you jump through a lot of hoops, and it turns out to be a GREAT BIG FUCKING LIE, YOU STUPID WHORE YOU FUCKING USED ME, ROT IN HELL YOU WORTHLESS CUNT, women have been known to stereotypically act in this manner.
10. Your only weapon is a gun that shoots VAGINAS