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Author Topic: Words of inspiration  (Read 3120 times)

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Offline Chevalier des PoissonsTopic starter

Words of inspiration
« on: October 28, 2009, 05:50:03 PM »
Despite the appearance, this poem has nothing to do with anyone here

A butterfly came to me today
More beautiful than my eyes could ever see
You just made me a good day
Did you come for me?

So close, so far
I don't even know who you are
So, please, please, tell me
Who are you? Are you my will to be free?

Fly, my little butterfly.
Go ahead up to the sky
Show the world your beautiful color
And come back to me and amuse me more

Butterfly, I want you.
Please, want me that way.
Look at me, say 'I do'
And let us be together every day.

You are my inspiration
You are my dear
With you I have no such thing as fear
My dear token of appreciation

Maybe you are just a dream
A wonderful deviation
A redemption for my sin
A sign of a new station

And the butterfly is gone
Again, I am all alone.
But she left me her heart, her creation
Some words of inspiration.

October 28th, 2009
Original work by me, while I was waiting the bus
« Last Edit: February 01, 2010, 08:27:51 PM by Chevalier Shambler de Poissons »

Offline Butterflykiss

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2009, 06:26:14 PM »
Light, lovely, and whimsical~

Offline Chevalier des PoissonsTopic starter

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2009, 08:53:09 PM »
Oh, thank you very much for your comment, Butterfly :3

(Goes to google 'whimsical')

Offline Zinder

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2009, 06:28:18 PM »
It is so nice to see someone who post poems here! Thank you for this one :)

Offline Chevalier des PoissonsTopic starter

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2009, 06:30:08 PM »
Oh, Thank you very much for that comment, Zinder =D And don't worry, there are going to be more poems from me ^^

Offline Talia

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #5 on: November 08, 2009, 10:49:22 AM »
Very nice read! Thanks, Chevalier Shambler de Poisson's. I do hope you do more...I have just bookmarked this.

Offline Dramen

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Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2010, 03:50:33 PM »
Very pleasant read Chevalier! It really left a nice feeling after reading it. Very well done.

Offline Sugarman (hal)

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Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2010, 03:05:09 AM »
actually very nice... cool

Offline Chevalier des PoissonsTopic starter

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2010, 01:42:17 PM »
Oh, thank you sincerely you three ^^ I am very glad and honored that my words gave you a pleasant read ^^

Offline Kaileikehi

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #9 on: January 17, 2010, 10:24:37 PM »
You know how I feel about poetry Shammy, but this one... this I like. A lot.

Offline Arhys

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #10 on: January 25, 2010, 04:20:36 AM »
And now it's my turn to thank you for sharing.  I thought this was really beautiful, there's an emotional flow (flit?) to it I really like.

Offline Chevalier des PoissonsTopic starter

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #11 on: January 25, 2010, 12:45:41 PM »
And now it's my turn to thank you for sharing.  I thought this was really beautiful, there's an emotional flow (flit?) to it I really like.

Why, thank you Kail and thank you Arhys very much. I appreciate your comment, it means something to me :3 I am glad you like it ^^

Offline ShyMystica

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #12 on: January 27, 2010, 04:09:51 AM »
Very beautiful Chevalier...you should be proud of the words you wrote here. I am a huge fan of poetry. I love the way I fluttered through the stanzas, but while it read so simplistically, it touched some very deep emotions. Very clever and very beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

Offline Chevalier des PoissonsTopic starter

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #13 on: January 27, 2010, 01:08:00 PM »
Very beautiful Chevalier...you should be proud of the words you wrote here. I am a huge fan of poetry. I love the way I fluttered through the stanzas, but while it read so simplistically, it touched some very deep emotions. Very clever and very beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

Oh, thank you very much :3 I feel honored to know you enjoyed my poem. And, since you are a fan of poetry, I would like to invite you to read my other poems too, if you wish ^^

Thank you very much for your comment, I appreciate it =3

Offline Luna Eclipse

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #14 on: February 17, 2010, 04:30:03 AM »
Beautiful poem! Almost felt like I was following a butterfly as I read it.
I especially enjoyed how you concluded it.
Hope you are doing well too ^^

Offline Chevalier des PoissonsTopic starter

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #15 on: February 17, 2010, 09:55:57 AM »
Beautiful poem! Almost felt like I was following a butterfly as I read it.
I especially enjoyed how you concluded it.
Hope you are doing well too ^^

Miss Luna, welcome back. Long time no see ^^ I am glad you are back, and that you liked my poem =3

Thank you very much for the comment ^^

Online PaleEnchantress

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #16 on: February 17, 2010, 03:35:51 PM »
The poem portrays a feeling of someone who has succumbed to their own depression and apathy, that then feels alleviated by something that brings color and light back into his world.  Neither the joy he feels nor the object of his affection can always be with him though. However, the temporary happiness he had reminded him how worthwhile it is to continue.

That was the metaphor I got from it though I have no clue if that's what Shambler was going for.

Offline Chevalier des PoissonsTopic starter

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #17 on: February 17, 2010, 03:36:42 PM »
Actually you just reproduced with utter perfection what I was feeling on that day. Very nice =D Thank you =3

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Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #18 on: February 24, 2010, 02:29:26 PM »
wow this is really really beautiful! Great work!

Offline Chevalier des PoissonsTopic starter

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #19 on: February 24, 2010, 08:02:53 PM »
Oh, thank you very much =D I appreciate it

Offline Chevalier des PoissonsTopic starter

Re: Words of inspiration
« Reply #20 on: February 27, 2010, 11:05:05 AM »
I would like to thank you all for the comments, and thank all the readers for giving a chance to read my humble words.

I have made a sequence to that poem, which is a version where the person realizes he just fell in love for the butterfly:

http://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=61853.0