Topic: I have no idea what I'm doing.

[WanderingBlackDragon]

At a friend's suggestion, I joined this site a couple years ago. However, since then I probably posted one interest thread, got no response, then a rant thread, and then nothing.

It was suggested that I put up a Turn Ons & Offs thread or put up a more detailed character profile. But, with the way this site is set up, I'm always having trouble figuring out how to do much of anything. I did have a mentor when I first joined, but they haven't responded to me since and I don't know if they're even around anymore.

When I do try to figure stuff out on my own, I keep having moments where I just end up staring at the screen and for the life of me nothing makes sense.

I just need help getting involved. For a while, I've been trying to find a rping site/community/whatever that I can actually be participate in, and lately it just seems like I'm always ending up somewhere, where I'm being ignored, alienated, trolled and even what few friends I do find, they're either not very good at roleplaying, or they're so "Shellshocked" by trolls or whatever, that they can't be motivated to do anything.

I'm not trying to sound whiney or bait for sympathy or whatever, but I've just not been in a good place recently and I'd like some help actually connecting with people instead of feeling like I have to be satisfied playing in a corner alone.

[Beguile's Mistress]

Trolling is not something that we allow to happen here.  We all try to be as welcoming as possible to new members since we were all new at one time, too.

When you were first approved you should have received a couple PMs welcoming you and giving you some links to threads that fill you in on how things work here.  If you still have that PM check out those threads for some helpful information.

We also have quite a few socializing threads so you can get to know other members and we can get to know you.  Look on it as moving into a new neighborhood and getting to meet the others who live there.  It may take time to find some of the more interesting people who have the same likes as you but it will happen if you have patience and take the time to put yourself out there.

Meanwhile, others who come across this thread will drop in and give you some advice as well. 

[Oniya]

I took a brief look at your post history, and can offer a few suggestions, which should help anyone struggling to get involved.

1) Make use of your signature.  You can include links to threads that you want to bring attention to - like your request thread.  Signatures show up once per page, so when you post in the forums, it can serve as a bit of self-promotion.

2) Check out some of the more social areas of the site - On Topic and Off Topic are great places to find people with similar interests, whether they be writing interests or just things that interest you outside of writing.  Interacting with people is the key thing with this suggestion - and if you run across someone interesting, check their signature links (or the 'My Roleplaying Preferences' link under their avatar) and see if there's something you can build a story on.  Doing this before messaging them helps you in two ways - first, it lets you eliminate people that you aren't compatible with, and secondly, it gives you something more to say than 'Hey, do you want to write together?'

3) Our 'Finders and Seekers' board is also a good place to find people with similar interests - The 'Visual Rapture' and the 'Pics you want to play' threads are good sources of general inspiration - and again, give you a way to start conversations with people.

[Gypsy]

Part of what I've typed repeats what has already been said, but ... I hope that you find some great stories, and meet some wonderful friends here.  I know that I have -- and I'm not exactly the best at fitting in myself.

I read what you've written in your 'Roleplaying Preferences' thread, and that's a good start.

Have you looked at other people's Ons/Offs?  How to do it is as simple as starting a thread in the appropriate board -- Lords, in your case -- and put the information you have in the 'Matrix' Ons/Offs into a thread there.  Feel free to expound a little, and even put up samples of your writing.  Create your own interest thread, and don't be discouraged if it doesn't result in stories right away.  Timing and persistence is everything, because things like how busy the site is, how many people are looking for new roleplays, what will draw the people who are looking isn't a constant.

Look through other people's 1x1 threads, and group roleplay threads.  Respond to them.  Say 'hello'.  Ask questions. 

Participate in the socializing threads.  A lot of conversations, and roleplays, can and do start there.  Check out the shoutbox.  Say 'hello' there.

Maybe, above all, reach out to other people.    If someone is advertising for a story or game that sounds interesting, or at least like it might have some commonality with what you'd like to play, say hello.  Tell them what drew your interest, what you might have concerns about, and see if there's a common ground.  If there's not, then be courteous and move on. 

Trust me, there ARE people here who like what you like, no matter what it is.   

And if you need help with the code for your signatures, or want other people to look over your ons/offs, I've found the shoutbox is a great place to find help, though you have to catch it when it's active.  Even if the person who can help is not available right when you ask, they may well be later.    

[Mithlomwen]

It looks as if you have already gotten some really good advice so far.   

It was suggested that I put up a Turn Ons & Offs thread or put up a more detailed character profile. But, with the way this site is set up, I'm always having trouble figuring out how to do much of anything. I did have a mentor when I first joined, but they haven't responded to me since and I don't know if they're even around anymore.

I just wanted to let you know, that even if the mentor who messaged you when you were approved is no longer around, you can absolutely message any current member with the mentor badge.  They would be more than happy to help.    They can give you the same information, and can help answer any questions you might have. 

[AmberStarfire]

I think generally you get out of things what you put into them. The more you interact with others and get to know them, the more friends you're likely to make and the more RP partners you're likely to find. I know the request threads work for a lot of people, but I'll tell you what I've found that works better - find people on the site who you're interested in writing with, then strike up a conversation with them. Make sure you've read their Ons and Offs thread first (some people get frustrated if a potential RP partner hasn't), and don't copy/paste info on ideas. Just ask if they'd be interested, give them an idea or two that interests you that you think might appeal to them, and you might end up with a story out of it if they're interested and available too. Talk out the details and create the story together.

That's the easiest and most straightforward way I've found to find stories.

If you socialise on the threads etc, you'll get to know people better, make friends, and that might make them more interested in RPing, as well as helping you identify possible roleplaying partners who you'd like to write with. If you post a request thread and wait, you're just waiting for someone to come to you and that person could be anyone. If you pick who you specifically want to RP with and go to them, you're more likely to get the story or roleplaying partner you want.

As for creating your Roleplaying Preferences and Ons and Off thread, it isn't that complicated once you know how to go about it.  Usually I just put the same info in the Ons and Offs thread as I put in the text field of the Roleplaying Preferences page (which you can find by clicking the Offs and Offs button). That way no matter which someone looks at, the info is right there for people to find. If you're unsure what to put, just see what other people put and follow their format with your own info. Personally, I favour bullet points the most important stuff.

If you need help with your signature once you have threads, just post it here and I (or someone else) will put it in code for you.

[RedRose]

It's normal to find it overwhelming at first.

Setting up your O/O and a thread with ideas is a good beginning.

After that, participating in threads will help you be noticed. Don't hesitate to pm profiles that interest you, just no sending the same message to everyone.

[midnightblack]

And if you happen to be a deity of shyness that would sooner walk the void rather than socialize (that would make two of us), keep this thread under watch: What is a craving for a rp you can never get any nibbles on?

You never know when you'll realize you're the perfect partner for that story that hasn't sparked anyone's interest.