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The Elliquian Herald & Post
Issue 73 ~ February & March 2017

Wiki Blogs Dicebot

Author Topic: A Challenge For English Speakers:)  (Read 11308 times)

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Offline adventurerTopic starter

A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« on: November 09, 2008, 01:45:09 AM »

   
 If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be
speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in
the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer
 six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.

Try them yourself!  Have fun!

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.

(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?

Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

B. Shaw

Offline Ket

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2008, 01:55:18 AM »
That's awesome!  And I made it through it all.  With a couple of stumbles...

Offline adventurerTopic starter

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2008, 01:58:33 AM »
Ket...glad you could not hear me:)

As English isnt my native language (I am German) you would have fun to hear me stumble even more:):)

A.

Offline Ket

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2008, 02:02:58 AM »
-grins-

Now I want to hear! 

Offline adventurerTopic starter

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2008, 02:05:44 AM »
Would be ashamed to death:):)

Offline Ket

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2008, 02:07:24 AM »
Of?  My German is atrocious.  So there, we're even.

Offline adventurerTopic starter

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2008, 02:09:34 AM »
A Voice component should be implemented at E:):)

Offline Ket

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2008, 02:09:54 AM »
That's what messengers are for though.

Offline adventurerTopic starter

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2008, 02:12:12 AM »
Usually I only chat via Skype. (PLus Text protocol). Are there -easy for users! -any simple chat options you would recommend?

Offline Ket

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2008, 02:13:36 AM »
I pretty much stick with Skype and Yahoo. 

Offline adventurerTopic starter

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #10 on: November 09, 2008, 06:07:18 AM »
Hopefully posting here will soon be possible again:)

Offline Eleanor

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #11 on: November 09, 2008, 06:21:17 AM »
I struggled with Terpsichore, I had to go look it up... but other than that I think I did alright. It would be interesting to hear people recording themselves do a verse of this....

Offline adventurerTopic starter

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #12 on: November 09, 2008, 06:28:29 AM »
omg...please do not require this:)

Offline Eleanor

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #13 on: November 09, 2008, 06:34:14 AM »
*laughs* kidnap an easy verse whilst no one else has done it? I'm sure you're not as terrible as you say you are, but of course it isn't compulsory or anything so no worries ^^

Offline adventurerTopic starter

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #14 on: November 09, 2008, 06:37:11 AM »
:):)at least I would not be as extreme as the French who is quoted:)

Offline Ket

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #15 on: November 09, 2008, 06:38:26 AM »
I actually thought about recording it....but no one wants to hear me stumble... or my high pitched little girly voice.  And besides, I'm such a perfectionist that I'd probably record it over and over again, about 20 times, before I was either finally satisfied with it, or just gave up and said 'that'll do'. 

:):)at least I would not be as extreme as the French who is quoted:)

Haha!  I still want to hear you say it. 

Offline Eleanor

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #16 on: November 09, 2008, 06:41:21 AM »
I actually thought about recording it....but no one wants to hear me stumble... or my high pitched little girly voice.  And besides, I'm such a perfectionist that I'd probably record it over and over again, about 20 times, before I was either finally satisfied with it, or just gave up and said 'that'll do'. 

Haha!  I still want to hear you say it. 

I think it would be quite fun actually, and what's wrong with high pitched girly voices? (possessing a bit one myself...)

o.O and that's some serious perfectionism issues...

Offline Ket

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #17 on: November 09, 2008, 06:50:15 AM »
Yeah... I'm a tad bit OCD.

And a tad bit worried about how people hear my voice.

Offline Eleanor

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #18 on: November 09, 2008, 06:54:32 AM »
just a tad OCD...?

and fear not, no one would make you! ^^ It will probably end up that no one fancies doing it anyway

Offline Ket

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #19 on: November 09, 2008, 06:55:30 AM »
Only slightly.  About a 12 on a scale of 1 - 10. 

Offline Eleanor

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #20 on: November 09, 2008, 06:57:36 AM »
*nods* very moderate then....

Offline Ket

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #21 on: November 09, 2008, 07:05:49 AM »
Luckily, I have absolutely no clue how to record a file.  Otherwise I'd already be attempting it.

Offline Eleanor

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #22 on: November 09, 2008, 07:30:15 AM »
*giggles*  :-X

Offline Paradox

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #23 on: November 09, 2008, 11:47:54 AM »
Thank you, adventurer. My brain came in its pants because of this.

Offline concessionis

Re: A Challenge For English Speakers:)
« Reply #24 on: November 09, 2008, 02:04:21 PM »
Very neat! Thanks for sharing.