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Author Topic: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.  (Read 3241 times)

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Offline HairyHereticTopic starter

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Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« on: September 06, 2008, 06:04:12 AM »
I'm swiping this idea from another forum I belong to, in the hopes it may channel some of that energy political discussion causes into something interesting.

You're now President. Let's hear what your plans are for the next few years.

First some rules:
1. No mention of the candidates (at all). This is a thread of what you would do, not somebody else
2. You can be as detailed or general as you want.
3. You can question someone's "policies" for clarification, but not debate them. This is a thread about what YOU would do, not what you think somebody else should
4. Be respectful.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2008, 06:39:52 AM »
If I were president.
I'd get America its balls back.

Offline Apple of Eris

Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2008, 06:59:26 AM »
My list would be frippin' huge, but to start:

1. Push for elimination of tax breaks for top 1% of earners
2. End the cuban embargo
3. Push for a minimum level of free healthcare for all americans
4. Cut defense spending by 10% of current levels and move that money to debt reduction
5. Try to find and cut pork barrel programs in the budget to reduce spending
6. Trim government by cutting redundant and unnecessary staffing
7. Increase spending on education
8. Eliminate tax breaks for oil companies, implement tax credits for alternative energy sources & research - so if big oil wants those breaks, they'll get them by developing new fuel technologies
9. Begin troop pullouts from Iraq, transfer some of those troops to Afghanistan to aid the NATO deployment there and bring others home while possibly maintaining a small presence in the Kurdistan region - if the local populace is amenable. Something on the scale of a military air/army base ala the ones formerly in Germany.
10. On my second day, rest.

Actually I have a bunch more stuff I'd -want- to do too, push for recognition of gay marriage or at a minimum, civil unions. After all, from civil union it's just a generation of people getting over their prejudices till we have full on gay marriage. End the don' ask don't tell crap in the military. Push for a revised Equal Rights Amendment.

Offline HairyHereticTopic starter

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Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2008, 07:14:16 AM »
If I were president.
I'd get America its balls back.

How? What would your policies be?

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2008, 07:22:20 AM »
Firstly I'd stop pandering to all the foreign nations that don't seem to like America. Giving a little incentive to countries that support the U.S.
I'd focus on domestic markets more than outsourcing jobs.
I would completely pull out of Iraq. They don't want us there we won't help them.
And I would begin more strong-arm tactics in foreign policy.

Online Jefepato

Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2008, 07:44:46 AM »
1. Laugh maniacally.
2. Demand any information on Iraq that was being concealed from the general public.  Formulate plans for a long-term withdrawl of most of the troops.  Announce this plan with fanfare.
3. Push for tariffs on oil from countries with a recent history of human rights abuses.
4. Propose a plan for health care reform.  Nothing too outrageous, but this business of hospitals billing uninsured people three times as much has got to go.  Need-based subsidies for poor people with emergency needs are also likely.
5. Fill all open spots in the Supreme Court with gay clones of Scalia.
6. I'll take a look at education to see if I can come up with a way to fix it, but I'm not optimistic.
7. Abolition of the Selective Service.
8. Defense spending stays where it is.
9. Loud condemnation of any state or law in violation of our basic civil rights.
10. Tax cuts for the rich, because I'm going to be one of them.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2008, 07:58:21 AM »
1. Laugh maniacally.
2. Demand any information on Iraq that was being concealed from the general public.  Formulate plans for a long-term withdrawl of most of the troops.  Announce this plan with fanfare.
3. Push for tariffs on oil from countries with a recent history of human rights abuses.
4. Propose a plan for health care reform.  Nothing too outrageous, but this business of hospitals billing uninsured people three times as much has got to go.  Need-based subsidies for poor people with emergency needs are also likely.
5. Fill all open spots in the Supreme Court with gay clones of Scalia.
6. I'll take a look at education to see if I can come up with a way to fix it, but I'm not optimistic.
7. Abolition of the Selective Service.
8. Defense spending stays where it is.
9. Loud condemnation of any state or law in violation of our basic civil rights.
10. Tax cuts for the rich, because I'm going to be one of them.
Mr. President, what is your strategy behind laughing maniacally?

Offline RubySlippers

Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #7 on: September 06, 2008, 09:43:01 AM »
Ok.

1. Pull out of Iraq fully under a presidential order in ONE year with some immediate pullouts in 90 days.

2. Sign executive orders to do the following:

- Order the assassination of any terrorist leader, supporter of terrorism that aids them and regardless of political position if other means cannot extradite them inot the US.

- Pardon all criminals in Federal prison in for non-violent drug offenses, hate crimes and political activities then give an auto-pardon to any criminal in Federal prisom upon coviction not under one of the three offesnes listed in the constitution. Will recommend any said criminals be tried in state courts.

3. Refuse to sign any bill that has any pork projects or funding outside the narrow intent of the bill in question regardless of how important said bill is.

4. Declare the US neutral under the Hague Conventions, withdraw from all overseas bases and stations, reduce the military to half its current size with the National Guard limited to domestic service only. The Navy and Marines will have the stronger deployment options being the expeditionary forces of the US if needed. Followed our withdrawel from NATO and all military international treaties that obligate us and agree to proportional to the number of nations funding for the UN. That is if there are 100 nations as an example we would pay for our fair share, if the budget was $100 as a simple example we would pay $1. The other nations can ante up their share but no longer would we pay more just due to our economy.

5. Cut any Federal Department that is reasonable duplicated by the states to one quarter its current size relinquished to an advisory capacity.

6. Have all electoral votes divided in each state by who won, so if Florida was as an example split 50/50 the two parties would split the electoral votes.

7. Use the saving on the budget to pay down the national debt doubling our current payments, then where we can reduce the taxes on citizens so they have more money to spend.

8. End NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND and as the president move for states to provide for the health care of their citizens with innovative ideas, reduce Federal funding of health care and eliminate funding for anything not demanded by the consitution where possible.

9. Set-up state managed pension funds to be used in lieu of 401k plans that would have to be invested in that money mobile so if a party moves the funds can be transfered with them. Allowing for a standard pension upon retirement this would be replacing business retirement obligations. The amount put in would be voluntary over a certain minimum amount for those that wish to use these to invest more money for retirement.

10. Intitute a 2 year WAR TAX to recoup the costs for the last year in Iraq and move hard to get the Iraqis to repay us for the invasion and money spent from oil revenue over the next twenty years (could be longer). Or we will pull out immediately and they can take their chances. We might as well get something for this mess oil coming in or money will do.

11. Open up the selective service to women in proportions to the duties they can perform in the military, minus a fair adjustment for military needs, lets say for arguement 30%.

12. Give state governors direct control over the national guard and if they are deployed outside their borders unless the US is invaded or threatened by invasion.

13. Put up a 100 billion dollar prize to the first party that can make and deploy in successful real world tests a missle defense shield then install that in the US, give the technology to any other nation that wants it. That should eliminate the threat of a limited nulcear strike for a rogue state and make us far safer.

14. Fix Social Security setting the retirement age up to 70, raising the income level subject to taxes to perhaps $1,000,000 and raise that tax on the payroll for everyone 1%. Make the money given out more needs based. And then review also cases of the disabled kicking off anyone that can work at any sort of decent job and allow people working part-time to keep some checks coming in. Tighten up the mental illness category so its harder to get on for fairly routine medical conditions.

15. Not sign Kyoto and withdraw from all treaties that affect our soveriengty as a free nation, encourage private industry though to work on Green Technology and develop areas to reduce emissions. Cut government red tape and oversight on business where we can. No more bailouts for industries that act like idiots anymore.

Online Jefepato

Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #8 on: September 07, 2008, 12:24:23 AM »
Mr. President, what is your strategy behind laughing maniacally?

It's fun.

Really, if I'm President, my hands are already so dirty that I might as well have fondled a landfill.  I might as well enjoy it while I'm basking in my ill-gained glory.

Offline BlackRose

Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #9 on: September 07, 2008, 12:35:16 AM »
This list shall come in parts as I think about them...

Part 1...

I'd put the cap in capitalism.

Anything over 15% markup shall be deemed scalping and is therefor illegal. If you spend 10 million dollars developing something, it should damn well take you 30 years to make that back. Hell, thats how long people pay for their houses.

This would quickly lead to many open seats on oil companies Board of Directors, which I would ensure were filled with environmentalists.

More to come.

Offline Cherri Tart

Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #10 on: September 07, 2008, 12:06:41 PM »
i'm voting for Apple. :)  and yes, i'm biased.

Offline ShrowdedPoet

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Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #11 on: September 07, 2008, 01:32:40 PM »
. . .kill myself. . .I have no desire to be president.

Offline Caehlim

Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #12 on: September 08, 2008, 01:05:18 AM »
What mad fools are trusting me with this sort of power...

1. Create a legal framework restricting the ability of people to accept debt upon themselves to allow for people to only have a limited ammount of debt under a variety of different conditions. (Sorry if this is unclear but it's a little complicated and would have a lot of minor details. Basically trying to end an economy of debt, credit and inflation).

2. Institute programs to address America's current imbalance between imports and exports to restrict the current trend of foreign ownership of american businesses (This is based on the economic principle of account balance).

3. Remove the ability of corporations to act as legal entities in their own right.

4. Phase out the stock-market.

5. Increase minimum wages.

6. Institute free education, create programs to get literacy up to 100%.

7. Create a secret branch of military intelligence, tasked with the mission to eradicate organised crime by any means necessary.

8. Legalise narcotics, bring out new rules to control their uses and prevent abuse.

9. Legalise prostitution, again bringing out new rules to prevent abuses within the system.

10. Reform the prison system completely (I could go on for pages about this one if I got to any more detail than this).

11. Institute a medical system that actual works. Just copy the policy of any other first world nation, they all seem to be doing better.

12. Scrap the litigation system entirely and rebuild it from the ground up. Eliminate the concept of punitive damages. Do everything possible to prevent 99% of lawsuits from occurring.

13. Outlaw straight marriage.

Offline ShrowdedPoet

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Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #13 on: September 08, 2008, 09:46:15 AM »
13. Outlaw straight marriage.

While I believe that gay marriage should be legal and that there's nothing wrong with it.  I am a bisexual woman married to a straight man.  We are a happy family.  Maybe I read you wrong there. . .you wanna shed some light on number 13?

Offline Sherona

Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #14 on: September 08, 2008, 09:56:29 AM »
Remember guys, it is been asked that we not debate other's political agendas, only ask how they might achieve such agendas...and for that matter I believe Caehlim was being glib about the straight marriages, or jus to show those opposing gay marriages what it is like. *smiles*

Offline ShrowdedPoet

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Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #15 on: September 08, 2008, 09:59:55 AM »
Remember guys, it is been asked that we not debate other's political agendas, only ask how they might achieve such agendas...and for that matter I believe Caehlim was being glib about the straight marriages, or jus to show those opposing gay marriages what it is like. *smiles*

One of the rules was you could ask for clarification.  So that's what I was doing.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #16 on: September 08, 2008, 10:02:44 AM »
Caehlim, I'm not debating but how are you going to stop yourself from getting impeached?

Offline Storiwyr

Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #17 on: September 08, 2008, 11:52:25 AM »
Caehlim, I'm not debating but how are you going to stop yourself from getting impeached?

If Bush can do it, anyone can.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #18 on: September 08, 2008, 12:08:21 PM »
If Bush can do it, anyone can.
Bush didn't try to dissolve the stock market. End of derailment.

Offline BlackRose

Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #19 on: September 08, 2008, 05:59:00 PM »
Bush didn't try to dissolve the stock market. End of derailment.

Correct. Bush succeeded...

Offline Vekseid

Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #20 on: September 08, 2008, 06:12:22 PM »
It was requested that there be no mention of any candidates, period. Please respect that, thank you.

Offline Caehlim

Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #21 on: September 08, 2008, 08:02:01 PM »
While I believe that gay marriage should be legal and that there's nothing wrong with it.  I am a bisexual woman married to a straight man.  We are a happy family.  Maybe I read you wrong there. . .you wanna shed some light on number 13?

I mostly said it to be funny.

Seriously though, my actual stance is that the legal institution of marriage shouldn't exist (Not the practise though, I have no objection to people declaring a monogamous love and commitment to one another). People's love, friendship, family and sexual relationships are not matters for the government to decide or regulate beyond protecting people from harm.

Quote
Caehlim, I'm not debating but how are you going to stop yourself from getting impeached?

Frankly, I don't even know how I managed to get elected. Apparently someone was interested enough to allow an Australian to become the president of the U.S. and put me in power.

Still the fear of losing power is the downfall of democracy. Democracy will never achieve anything so long as politicians are cowardly vote-mongers. If I am to enter the political sphere it is by loudly announcing my intentions honestly and following through with them, taking whatever consequences fall upon me for doing so. If you like my policies then vote for me, if you don't then don't.

However since I would be doing exactly what it says in my election promises then I can't see myself getting impeached, apparently people have already voted for me so I assume they're in favour of my plans.

Offline Apple of Eris

Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #22 on: September 08, 2008, 08:33:55 PM »
Oh, I'm adding on a new item to my platform (and thanks to Cherri for the political muscle she's thrown behind my plan):

Limiting the wages of executives to 250% above the highest paid hourly employees.

Offline Methos

Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #23 on: September 09, 2008, 02:27:50 AM »
1. Eliminate the minimum wage
2. Sign free trade deals with everyone
3. Eliminate all tariffs.
4. Transfer all spending on government grants to specific companies into a general business tax cut.
5. Legalize marijauna
6. Legalize prostitution
7. Rename New York, New Amsterdam
8. Visit New Amsterdam and create a very salacious sex scandle
9. Nuke the Moon
10. Find nuking the Moon incredibly enjoyable so do it again.
11. Eliminate farm subsidies.
12. Eliminate all funding to special interests groups.
13. Appear on the Colbert Report, make it clear that I am a Decider
14. Deal with the dire threat to national security posed by Bears.
15. Mine the Mexican border
16. Ask Bill Clinton for tips on how to pick up interns
17. Test out said tips.
18. When dealing with a foreign policy crisis ask myself "What would Jimmy Carter do?" then proceed to do exactly the opposite.
19. Ask Europe "Whose your Daddy?"
20. Inform the CIA to stop being such sissies and waterboarding terrorists, I expect them to drown them. Half hearted gestures will not be tolerated by this administration.
21. Outlaw the television broadcast of poker
22. Remove all restrictions on what can be shown on television.
23. Remove creativity and self-esteem from the class room and replace it with its predessors facts and figures.
24. Weaponize space.
25. Create an orbiting weapons platform with lazer technology to be referred to as the "Death Star".
26. Breath heavily and then laugh maniacly.
27. Elimate welfare for all but the disabled
« Last Edit: September 09, 2008, 03:37:45 AM by Methos »

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Congratulations, you're now the solution to all our problems.
« Reply #24 on: September 09, 2008, 06:57:24 AM »
Methos, no offense but I ain't voting for you.