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Author Topic: Sanityís Prologue  (Read 277 times)

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Offline FroreQueenTopic starter

Sanityís Prologue
« on: July 13, 2013, 03:02:13 AM »
Friendly critique is welcomed and adored actually. This is just a little something I wrote a long while ago, so itís edges are still rough and it needs to be polished up a bitÖbut I figure I better start just jumping into E. No use being shy here, everyone is so friendly and welcoming, itís a great place!


The lights weakly flickered while the shadows danced to the faint hum they gave off as their power began to wane, until they finally died out. The whole room plummeted into a darkness that held its own life from the horrors that had taken place there. It was suffocating to be in the very building it called its home, every scurry of some wild animal muted by its force. The silence was shattered by ragged breathing and the sound of metal against once-sterile tile as someone slowly shifted. A stifled sob was deafeningly loud in the otherwise vacant hospital room, a room that still reeked of death with a heavy, putrid, undercurrent of fear.

A low rumble started up, strangely comforting in the gravely voice of its owner. He was saying something, so soft it sounded like a purr. Strong arms moved around a slender form and pulled the woman closer, the action both protective and possessive. She was everything he fought for and he couldnít stand the way she violently trembled in his hold. The echo was warped, but he knew they would be found; it was only a matter of time now. The hunters become the hunted and he could feel them closing in, no better than a pack of feral dogs. The darkness seemed to intensify when he opened his eyes, as if it could close him off from the world. Whether in hope of killing him or protecting him, he didnít dare guess at.

A voice that had once held such love and compassion was now a terrified whisper in his ear, her words a soft lullaby that ripped through his emotions. She was telling him, willing him, not to forget her and he couldnít help but think of how that sounded. Even if he had wanted to, from the very first moment he saw to this point in time, they were inseparable. A soft sigh caressed her skin as he nuzzled her neck, running his hands over her tangled hair. His kisses did a fine job of drowning out the sound of boots drawing closer, each clipped step kicking her pulse higher. He could feel and hear the thud of her heart, a sound that pierced through his very soul. He was going to lose her.

His hold on her tightened, crushing her to him as if he could keep them both alive that way, as if they could be free. Any other time and she would have said something, joked in some way about needing air and all her bones in tack. For just a minute she could pretend not to notice the world around them. The feel of his arms and the warmth of his body against her carried her back to a time when they had been safe.

Neither of them flinched when the door flew open, snapping off its twisted hinges to land a foot or so away from them. He whispered her name, closing his eyes her held her for as long as he could. Her tears burnt his skin like acid, eating away at what was left of his strength and then she was gone. Ripped away from him. He looked up as time froze, forever framing the last image of her he would see. She looked surreal in that moment, like a goddess of fire beneath the fluorescent lights, her vivid eyes locked with his and a halo of pure flames around her face.

His heart missed a few beats when she disappeared around the corner, yanked from the room by an unseen hand. His vision blurred, without her there was nothing left for him. He couldnít get up, storm out and protect her, his body refused to move as exhaustion took over, blood pooling beneath him. In the darkness he heard another set of boots and he steeled his nerves for what was to come. He wondered if he had enough energy for one more fight, one more chance to take some of them out. Glass crunched beneath the soles of their shoes, so close and yet he found he didnít care. Their words had barely reached his ears when he noticed them retreating, it was too late. He knew that by their dull tone and the fact that they didnít even bother to pick him up off the floor. A final sigh escaped his paling lips as his once dark eyes clouded over and his skin became ice.

Offline Nicholas

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Re: Sanityís Prologue
« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2013, 12:38:56 PM »
Very good. I really like it. ~thumbs up~