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Superhero Satire: defying all odds (looking for F)

Started by Darthvegeta800, January 08, 2013, 10:08:23 AM

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"Activate Battle Log. Record..."

I am Battleborg. Creative gearhead and power armored archvillain!
The superheroes of the world however... me a looser...
A has-been...
A misfit...
A fraude...
A copycat...
A subpar secondstringer past his glorydays...
If there ever were glory days to begin with...
Yet here we stand. The End of Days. All are down. All are beaten. 'It' controls all. 'It' has everyone enthralled. Dead or mindslaved, the world is suddenly a very empty place in the eyes of the selfaware none drugged up, mindwarped ones. So... euhm... just me I guess?
They're hunting me by the way.
The greatest of superheroes enthralled and out of their minds. The Champions, The Legends, the Star League, the Pantheon of Justice,... the best ever in their fields. Did I mention I can barely boast being better than Crossbow or Blaster?
Yet I cannot fail. If I do humanity will go extinct.
Yet I know I will.
After all... I'm the eternal minor villain, the second past, the socially awkward nerd in a suit.
I'm going to loose. And with me humanity.
Oh boy... we're so screwed. I shouldn't be this important. I never am. I miss my workshop. Just my luck to wear the armor, survive whatever mindwarped everyone just to be humiliated and beaten a month or two later...

They're tracking me and i'm running out of power. My scapheap of a suit is leaking. I'm almost out of juice! Damn powercells are nearing 18 percent. I'm almost incapable of flight.

And they're close. Arguably the mightiest of all superteams. Scanners indicate 'she's' here.
If only I could free one or more of them... somehow.
Damn. A crash nearby. It's 'her'. Arguably the world's greatest hottie. And one of the noblest and powerful superheroines.
She's going to kick my ass.
I gotta think. I gotta think fast.
Get a hold of yourself!!!
... put that creative mind of yours in overdrive. You always say Overlord and Cyberion got the big bucks going for them. And that you're just as smart. Well then think....

What's the use. She'll kick my ass.
This a job for a HERO not a TOKEN VILLAIN!!!
Humanity really stepped in it this time.

*audible sigh followed by a frustrated groan*

"Battle Log terminate. All powers to offensive weapons"

She'll be here soon. Any moment now. Infrared shows here moving in...
I'm so dead...

Welcome to the misadventures of a persistent supervillain with a large IQ... great improvisational talents and serious self esteem problems.
The eternal 'almost... but not quite'. The bad guy that might have gotten into the big leagues but ended up stuck halfway and somehow fell into frustrating oblivion.
The world has fallen and as it stands, he's the only one left to save us.
Outteched, outthought, outmuscled, outresourced and probably certainly outnumbered.

Luckily he'll manage to free Mrs Perfect from her mindcontrol and enslavement. But that'll certainly pop up high on 'it's' list of priorities to be dealt with.
And as we all know. Battleborg always messes up in the end...

A new one on one rp that got it's inspiration from:

- Confessions of a D-List Supervillain (short story)
- Soon, I shall be invincible (novel)
- Freedom Force (2 videogames)
- Sentinels of the Multiverse (the cooperative cardgame)
- Marvel and DC comics (the 2 comic pillars)
And on top of that my completely eccentric mindset. (copyrighted by 'me')

What i'm looking for?

The other side of the fence. The succesful heroine. The superstar. The snobby flawless one. The woman of steel or something like that.
Perfection in the eyes of the world. Glamour and spandex. Beauty and charisma. Popular and desireable. Well educated, cultured and the typical 'voice' of any superhero group. And in socially awkward Battleborg's eyes everything he is not, cannot be and cannot have.
The shallow Miss 'has it all'.
But perhaps there is more to her than meets the eye. More than just certitude and might. After all she failed... badly. Perhaps she has lessons to learn?
And maybe, just maybe she'll grow enough to drag Battleborg out of his self loathing and opportunism into doing something worthwhile.

Like getting the girl. And saving the world. The latter being more important... to her. Then again that might be just another mistake of Battleborg.


*claimed since yesterday - just posted the message in the wrong place >_<; *