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Author Topic: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty  (Read 2300 times)

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Online Callie Del NoireTopic starter

Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« on: December 02, 2011, 02:58:25 PM »
This one just got me..

http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2011/11/obese_cleveland_heights_child.html

okay.. Childhood obesity.. a problem. Putting an obese child into the Foster Care system instead of doing something with him at home? Wow... that sets scary precedents in a country where something like 12% of all children supposedly suffer from obesity.

Offline Oniya

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Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2011, 03:54:41 PM »
One thing to note is that the child is almost four times the weight of an average 8-year-old, and already suffers from sleep apnea (that's how the county twigged to the fact that he was obese).  I don't think that Mr. Oniya weighs 200 pounds (I'm pretty sure of that, in fact).  CPS tried to work with the family for a year and a half, but the mother claims the other kids and friends were interfering with the diet restrictions.  The article also states that the mother 'tried' to get him to exercise and eat properly - I'm sorry, but if your child's health is at risk, you do more than 'try'.  You get up and go on a walk with him.  At worst, you get the 16-year-old to go on a walk with him (the article states that both parents are overweight, but the teen is 'tall and thin').  You eliminate the high-cal snacks from the house.  Yes, you have to go without too.

Online Callie Del NoireTopic starter

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2011, 04:11:07 PM »
One thing to note is that the child is almost four times the weight of an average 8-year-old, and already suffers from sleep apnea (that's how the county twigged to the fact that he was obese).  I don't think that Mr. Oniya weighs 200 pounds (I'm pretty sure of that, in fact).  CPS tried to work with the family for a year and a half, but the mother claims the other kids and friends were interfering with the diet restrictions.  The article also states that the mother 'tried' to get him to exercise and eat properly - I'm sorry, but if your child's health is at risk, you do more than 'try'.  You get up and go on a walk with him.  At worst, you get the 16-year-old to go on a walk with him (the article states that both parents are overweight, but the teen is 'tall and thin').  You eliminate the high-cal snacks from the house.  Yes, you have to go without too.

Does the kid have problems? Definitely. I dont' know what the mom's work situation is. Should they have done something? Definitely.

But if obesity is a qualifying condition for CPS to come in and get kids.. we're looking at an overworked system getting crippled terminally. Seriously bad juju with this sort of precedent. I think that they (CPS) should have looked into other options.


Offline meikle

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2011, 04:47:57 PM »
But if obesity is a qualifying condition for CPS to come in and get kids.. we're looking at an overworked system getting crippled terminally. Seriously bad juju with this sort of precedent. I think that they (CPS) should have looked into other options.
Well I mean, it's not like this kid was sitting at the threshold of obesity.  Closer to the threshold of 'suffocating in his sleep', to the point where they had to bring in a breathing machine.  For an eight year old.  Because he's too heavy to breathe on his own.

When parents don't let their kids see doctors, or don't feed them enough, or make them live in a box, or whatever other thing that is potentially going to damage them psychologically and physically for the rest of their lives, most people are right on board with 'take them out of the home'; I'm not sure why feeding a kid to death would be less questionable.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2011, 04:50:49 PM by meikle »

Online Callie Del NoireTopic starter

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2011, 04:56:34 PM »
Well I mean, it's not like this kid was sitting at the threshold of obesity.  Closer to the threshold of 'suffocating in his sleep', to the point where they had to bring in a breathing machine.  For an eight year old.  Because he's too heavy to breathe on his own.

When parents don't let their kids see doctors, or don't feed them enough, or make them live in a box, or whatever other thing that is potentially going to damage them psychologically and physically for the rest of their lives, most people are right on board with 'take them out of the home'; I'm not sure why feeding a kid to death would be less questionable.

I just think that the social workers could get a court order to enforce dietary measures and so on. That would cost less to the public to have a worker checking up on the kid and checking with a court mandated doctor than taking the kid completely away. Now the entire burden is on the public rather than where it belongs.. on the parents and family.

Offline meikle

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2011, 05:02:07 PM »
Quote
“We have worked very hard with this family for 20 months before it got to this point,” agency Administrator Patricia Rideout said.

I'd rather the public suffer the burden than let a kid die in his home because his mother can't be bothered to stop overfeeding him and help him get some exercise.  And after nearly two years of warnings, she's shown pretty clearly that just being told to take care of it isn't going to fix the problem.  I'm not sure that providing a doctor for the family and ... I don't know, paying someone to watch the kid full time in their home? is going to work out better than just moving the kid into an environment that isn't hostile to his continued livelihood.

Edit: Ignoring, I guess, the fact that a lot of foster homes qualify as 'hostile to continued livelihood', as I understand it.  Also unfortunate, but I'm not qualified to repair the foster care system.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2011, 05:04:33 PM by meikle »

Online Callie Del NoireTopic starter

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #6 on: December 02, 2011, 05:11:04 PM »
I'd rather the public suffer the burden than let a kid die in his home because his mother can't be bothered to stop overfeeding him and help him get some exercise.  And after nearly two years of warnings, she's shown pretty clearly that just being told to take care of it isn't going to fix the problem.  I'm not sure that providing a doctor for the family and ... I don't know, paying someone to watch the kid full time in their home? is going to work out better than just moving the kid into an environment that isn't hostile to his continued livelihood.

Edit: Ignoring, I guess, the fact that a lot of foster homes qualify as 'hostile to continued livelihood', as I understand it.  Also unfortunate, but I'm not qualified to repair the foster care system.

One of my workers when I was in the Navy (he went in at 17) said looking back on things.. he'd have shot himself if he had to live another year in Foster Care. I suspect he paid whoever had the authority to allow him early entry in.

One of my best workers. Was determined to get a degree, work experience and vowed to NEVER go back to where he came from.

I know not ALL foster care is toxic, but the only person I know who went in called it hell and he was not given to exaggerate.

Offline Oniya

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Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #7 on: December 02, 2011, 06:57:06 PM »
I just think that the social workers could get a court order to enforce dietary measures and so on. That would cost less to the public to have a worker checking up on the kid and checking with a court mandated doctor than taking the kid completely away. Now the entire burden is on the public rather than where it belongs.. on the parents and family.

They enrolled the family in a 12-week nutrition course through Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital, one of the top 3 pediatric hospitals in the Midwest and in the top 10 nation-wide.  Before he was taken away, social workers were monitoring him under 'protective supervision'.  The only thing I can think of that they didn't try was having approved groceries delivered to the family's house.

Online Callie Del NoireTopic starter

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2011, 07:10:00 PM »
They enrolled the family in a 12-week nutrition course through Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital, one of the top 3 pediatric hospitals in the Midwest and in the top 10 nation-wide.  Before he was taken away, social workers were monitoring him under 'protective supervision'.  The only thing I can think of that they didn't try was having approved groceries delivered to the family's house.

I don't know.. maybe it's the fact that I saw the scars on the guy I knew was in foster care. One of his foster parents tried to use an iron on him. That colors my perception of it.

Offline Oniya

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Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2011, 07:34:47 PM »
I'm sure it does.  There are sick individuals in every group, but judging the whole group by those sick individuals is just as wrong as claiming that all Christians are like Fred Phelps. 

I saw the articles about this case when they hit the Cleveland news feeds, and I'll freely admit that it shocked me until I read up on it.  That child outweighs grown men.  If an adult was proportionately that overweight, the doctors would be recommending gastric bypass or liposuction.  At a young age, there is still a chance of instilling healthy eating behaviors, if the parents are willing to make some sacrifices.  Maybe a half hour each day in some light-to-moderate exercise (ideally an hour, but half an hour is a good start).  Maybe changing what they buy at the store.  Even just taking some time to look at the labels and serving sizes can help.  CPS waited a year and a half before taking this step, and they are still defining it as a temporary measure.

Online Callie Del NoireTopic starter

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2011, 07:40:45 PM »
I'm sure it does.  There are sick individuals in every group, but judging the whole group by those sick individuals is just as wrong as claiming that all Christians are like Fred Phelps. 

I saw the articles about this case when they hit the Cleveland news feeds, and I'll freely admit that it shocked me until I read up on it.  That child outweighs grown men.  If an adult was proportionately that overweight, the doctors would be recommending gastric bypass or liposuction.  At a young age, there is still a chance of instilling healthy eating behaviors, if the parents are willing to make some sacrifices.  Maybe a half hour each day in some light-to-moderate exercise (ideally an hour, but half an hour is a good start).  Maybe changing what they buy at the store.  Even just taking some time to look at the labels and serving sizes can help.  CPS waited a year and a half before taking this step, and they are still defining it as a temporary measure.

Well I hope that this shocks everyone involved. In particular the kid. Because when you get down to brass tacks, he's the one that has to see he's got to change his lifestyle. Seriously. He's got issues.. but he's an honor student which tells me that given the incentive he can focus.

Offline Oniya

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Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #11 on: December 02, 2011, 08:09:52 PM »
I definitely agree with you there.

Online Callie Del NoireTopic starter

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #12 on: December 02, 2011, 08:13:28 PM »
I definitely agree with you there.

Of course as a kid I was so active that two summers running I had to get treatment for my hair because I had leeched all the oil out of my hair from spending like 10+ hours at the community pool for weeks on end.

Offline Jude

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #13 on: December 02, 2011, 10:58:29 PM »
When parents don't let their kids see doctors, or don't feed them enough, or make them live in a box, or whatever other thing that is potentially going to damage them psychologically and physically for the rest of their lives, most people are right on board with 'take them out of the home'; I'm not sure why feeding a kid to death would be less questionable.
Agreed and bolded for emphasis.  It isn't the health repercussions that I worry about, it's he way that being obese is gonna effect this kid's entire life.

Offline Serephino

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #14 on: December 02, 2011, 11:04:51 PM »
I'm not sure taking the kid away was the best thing.  Sure, obviously the mother didn't do what she needed to do, but the problem is usually bigger than that. Changing lifestyles is hard. When you get used to sitting in front of the TV all day there's nothing else you want to do. I'm not saying the woman shouldn't have tried harder, but if she was overweight, then she was in the same rut.

Obviously the kid needed to be taken out of that environment.  They used to have this show on TLC about morbidly obese people.  They had to go to a special center, and even then, they didn't always change.  There was this one guy who threw a huge fit over being served a chef salad for dinner instead of pizza.  They had a message at the end of the show that said he ended up dying because he refused to change.

On the other hand, I don't see the foster care system as being much better.  He won't get the supervision and care he needs.  Kids that want goodies will find a way.  I did.  I would say the better solution would be to take him out of the home temporarily and put him in one of those centers to learn how to live better.     


Offline Jude

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #15 on: December 02, 2011, 11:20:46 PM »
Taking him out of his element and reprogramming him might be the only way to save him from life as an obese person.  They're doing him a favor.  I don't think people are fully aware of the toll that being overweight takes on a person psychologically and socially in their life -- some things are more important than family.

Offline Iniquitous

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #16 on: December 02, 2011, 11:21:52 PM »
I actually read this article a few days ago but didn’t dig any deeper into it cause I was actually working at the time that I read it. What I do remember reading is that the foster mother the child has been placed with is having a hard time managing all of the child’s doctor appointments and the state is looking at putting him in yet another different foster home as well as paying for the child to have a personal trainer to get him in shape.

Now, as I said, I did not have time to do research on the subject and don’t know all the details - but if the state is willing to pay for a trainer for the child while he is in foster care then why didn’t they offer that to the mother while the child was at home?

Yes, something needs to change. I am just not sure yanking the child away from his parents is the thing that needed changing. If both parents are overweight then the three of them needed to be set onto the right path to changing their lifestyle. I feel like all they’ve done now is ripped a child away from his parents, put him in a home where he wont get the love and emotional attachment he needs, destroyed the family unit and put strain on the relationship between parents and child.

Offline Envious

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #17 on: December 03, 2011, 07:52:15 PM »
I find nothing wrong with that child being taken out of the home.

Online Callie Del NoireTopic starter

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #18 on: December 04, 2011, 10:49:15 AM »
I find nothing wrong with that child being taken out of the home.

I guess I'm overly sensative about foster care after hearing how my airman suffered through the system. I get twitchy about such things. The idea that someone can get away with burning someone with an iron..then get ANOTHER kid just.. hell makes me nervous.

Offline ColdBloodedJellyDoughnut

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #19 on: December 04, 2011, 12:18:55 PM »
I find nothing wrong with that child being taken out of the home.

I totally agree with this. My sister is a nursery nurse is a very rough area and has been for the last ten years. She has told me horror stories of children who are forced to stay with abusive or neglecting parents because the police don't have enough evidence of the abuse.

To me, the thought that they left the child in that toxic environment for a year when he was already so overweight boggles the mind. Ignorance is not an excuse by that time.

Bear in mind, Callie, that your airman would've been in foster care at least two decades ago. Yes, there are still bad places, but they are far less now. This child is probably already irreparably damaged by the 8 years of overfeeding and his parents are either not willing or not capable of making the necessary changes. Would it be better to leave him to die under his own weight than put him in foster care?

Online Callie Del NoireTopic starter

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #20 on: December 04, 2011, 12:54:47 PM »
I totally agree with this. My sister is a nursery nurse is a very rough area and has been for the last ten years. She has told me horror stories of children who are forced to stay with abusive or neglecting parents because the police don't have enough evidence of the abuse.

To me, the thought that they left the child in that toxic environment for a year when he was already so overweight boggles the mind. Ignorance is not an excuse by that time.

Bear in mind, Callie, that your airman would've been in foster care at least two decades ago. Yes, there are still bad places, but they are far less now. This child is probably already irreparably damaged by the 8 years of overfeeding and his parents are either not willing or not capable of making the necessary changes. Would it be better to leave him to die under his own weight than put him in foster care?

He was 17 when I met him (or just turned 18..).. so I'm betting it wasn't too long. I got out of the service 2 years ago.. and I met him 4 years before that..so it's not been so long.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2011, 12:56:08 PM by Callie Del Noire »

Offline ColdBloodedJellyDoughnut

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #21 on: December 04, 2011, 12:57:26 PM »
Still, things have changed and they're constantly changing. I still don't think that the state of foster care is enough to stop a boy so incredibly abused (and he has been abused by his parents in almost as bad a manner as physically beating him) being taken from his parents.

Offline Envious

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #22 on: December 04, 2011, 01:35:58 PM »
I guess I'm overly sensative about foster care after hearing how my airman suffered through the system. I get twitchy about such things. The idea that someone can get away with burning someone with an iron..then get ANOTHER kid just.. hell makes me nervous.

I don't think that they system is good. I think there are many changes that could be enacted for the better. But I know it can do some tremendous good when it's not completely abused.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2013, 09:46:54 PM by Envious »

Offline Serephino

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #23 on: December 04, 2011, 07:42:46 PM »
I know there are well intended people trying to make changes, but the system is very broken.  My boyfriend had two experiences with foster homes as a kid.  The first one was when he was placed with a woman during the day.  He was a teenager, so he really didn't need a baby sitter, but things had gotten so bad with his step dad that one of them was going to end up killing the other.  The police were called after a nasty fight and a judge decided to put him with a foster mother while his mom was at work so  he wouldn't be alone with his step dad.

That was a positive experience according to him.  She was a nice older lady that taught him how to knit and stuff.

The second one wasn't so pleasant.  For some reason, his mother had to go somewhere overnight, and decided to put him and his siblings in a foster home until she got back.  He says the two women in charge there were jaded assholes.  His little brother was only a baby, and upset about being in strange surroundings.  My boyfriend, who is very protective of his brother, tried to get to him and the women tried to hit him to keep him away.  Why they didn't want him caring for his own brother neither of us can understand.  He had to physically fight them off.  Their mother did come back for them, even though the ladies kept telling them she wouldn't.

So, really, it's kind of a coin toss.  And parents are important to a child.  I used to have nightmares about being taken away even though my mother was verbally abusive and my father, well, it depended on what day it was...  All this boy's parents did was overfeed him.  They didn't neglect him or beat him, so naturally, he still loves them and wants to be with them.  I'm not saying they didn't do anything wrong, but over feeding and physical abuse aren't even in the same category.

Being taken away from a mostly loving environment can have lasting effects too.  My mother neglected me emotionally because she felt neglected by hers.  Every time I needed comforting, well, her mother never did that for her, so why should she for me?  I was an only child.  She was one of five.  I can imagine one woman juggling five kids wouldn't be able to give lots of attention to just one.

Now, picture this boy, now one of ten or twenty.  How much loving care do you think he's going to get?   

Offline ColdBloodedJellyDoughnut

Re: Child Services take a child from his mother.. for obsesisty
« Reply #24 on: December 05, 2011, 01:18:13 AM »
Unfortunately, the bodily effects of over eating are as bad as physcial abuse. In fact, the last effects are probably worse. This boy could end up with a whole host of problems as a result that will last for the rest of his life. Put this into perspective. His parents fucked up in the first eight years and now he will suffer for the next fifty. Because the stats show that he probably won't live any longer with that. That's if he lasts that long.

Add to that the fact that this boy has been in the media. The state will be very concious of this and he's getting a personal trainer. He's going to get very good care if only because he's in the public eye. Yeah, it should be that way for everyone. But then not everyone is a child who weighs more than most full grown men.