Divorce after 77 years due to an affaire 60 years ago

[JackWhite]

A furious 99 year old man is divorcing his wife of 77 years after he discovered she had an affair more than 60 years ago.
The couple, who have been identified only as Antonio and Rosa, have both consulted lawyers and the first hearing in the case is due to take place in March.
Jealous father-of-five Antonio saw red after he discovered dust covered romantic letters from his wife to her secret lover during a clear out of their apartment in Rome.
The couple had tied the knot in Naples in 1934, where Antonio had met Rosa after he had been sent there to serve in the carabinieri paramilitary police but she had had an affair with her unidentified lover ten years later, keeping the secret to herself until now.
...

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[Chris Brady]

A little drastic, but it's a trust issue.  And for some people that's important to a relationship.

[Lilias]

Still, 60 years later? Way to hold a grudge.

[Chris Brady]

Still, 60 years later? Way to hold a grudge.

True, but think of it this way.  Those letters are about a relationship he KNOWS about now.  And he can't trust a word she says because she never told him about this one, so what if it's not the only time?

How would he know?

His trust is broken.

And like I said, to some people that's a HUGE thing.

[Lilias]

True, but think of it this way.  Those letters are about a relationship he KNOWS about now.  And he can't trust a word she says because she never told him about this one, so what if it's not the only time?

How would he know?

His trust is broken.

And like I said, to some people that's a HUGE thing.

He's had a lifetime of loyalty and service from her (because that's how the local culture was at the time). And he's repaying it with a divorce a breath away from the end of their lives. The softest word I can find for such an attitude is 'petty'.

Also, if the shoe was on the other foot and she had wanted a divorce over a 60-year-old affair of his, I bet he'd just be wondering why she was making such a fuss.

[Envious]

There isn't anything petty about wanting to end a relationship that had a streak of infidelity in it. The affair may be 60 years old, but it's new, fresh, and overwhelming for that man now.

[Chris Brady]

The thing is, how does he know he's had a lifetime of loyalty?  All he has is her word. And now, he's second guessing that.

[Lilias]

The thing is, how does he know he's had a lifetime of loyalty?  All he has is her word. And now, he's second guessing that.

She stayed with him, didn't she? And he had far more than her word - he had care.

At his age, he should know much better than take serious decisions in rage like this.

[Scribbles]

To be fair, it's difficult to do more than speculate with the tiny bite of info we've been provided. For all we know, he might have been just waiting for any excuse to file for divorce, or the two may have been growing apart.

[Beguile's Mistress]

Maybe there's some sort of financial benefit to two older people being divorced and this is just the story they're telling.

[Chris Brady]

She stayed with him, didn't she? And he had far more than her word - he had care.

And maybe she had a 'pool boy' on the side when he wasn't looking, how does he know?  And really people stay together for all sorts of relatively stupid reasons.

At his age, he should know much better than take serious decisions in rage like this.

At that age, you get cranky and much more emotional.  That's what aging does.

Do I agree with his actions?  No.  But I do see where he's coming from.

To him, he has no idea just how many affairs she had behind his back.  It could have been just that one, or she could have had one a year for the last 66 years.  The fact that she stayed with him could mean she felt 'responsible' to the kids, or to him, rather than doing it out of love and/or loyalty.  He sadly, has no way of ever truly knowing.  And that likely hurt.

[JackWhite]

I do think it's hard to get that your wife didn't tell you about that. If you're 60 year together who knows what might have happened that he doesn't know about. I think it's more a trust issue.

Chris ninja'd me on that one I see.

[Oniya]

As one of the commentors on the article pointed out, there was much more of a stigma to getting divorced when they got married, and many people in unhappy marriages forced themselves to stay together 'for the kids' or other reasons.  I haven't seen anything that really puts out what she feels about the divorce.  She might be relieved that she doesn't have to put up with his jealous, suspicious ass any more.

[Sabby]

*looks at the title. Looks at the board*

So... the husband is a Priest and the wife is an ex-Senator?

[Serephino]

Seems kinda stupid from my point of view.  True, she could have had other affairs, or it might not have been the best marriage.  But they've stayed together for this long...  He could be dead before the divorce is final.  It's a morbid thought, but it will happen eventually. 

I'm sure he's hurt, but to throw away 77 years?  He's not going to find another woman to have a long happy relationship with at his age.  All he's doing is causing more pain and making sure he'll end up alone. 

[JackWhite]

*looks at the title. Looks at the board*

So... the husband is a Priest and the wife is an ex-Senator?

Isn't controversions another word in the title? + marriage/divorce (religion?)

[Sabby]

It doesn't sound like a controversy to me... it sounds like a private family matter. But I suppose if it were Tom Cruise, it would be actual news -.-

[Zeitgeist]

An Italian held a Vendetta after sixty years? Shocking! It does seem like a terrible waste, after all those years however.

I'd add this too: Affairs held by women are often romanticized, by society and especially by Hollywood. When a man cheats (It's called cheating rather than the more gentler 'affair'), he's cast as a 'pig' and someone with poor morals.

Case in point: Bridges over Madison County. The only thing the aggrieved husband did wrong was to be absent.

[Zakharra]

 I thought if a woman cheats she is a slut and a whore and the man a stud.

[Sabby]

Nah, that's putting out in general.

[Zeitgeist]

I thought if a woman cheats she is a slut and a whore and the man a stud.

Perhaps it depends on your point of perspective. We could go round and round on that.

Is there an example of a man's infidelity romanticized in popular culture? Perhaps there is and I'm not thinking of it. Did James Bond have a wife tucked away back at home?

[Callie Del Noire]

Perhaps it depends on your point of perspective. We could go round and round on that.

Is there an example of a man's infidelity romanticized in popular culture? Perhaps there is and I'm not thinking of it. Did James Bond have a wife tucked away back at home?

Nope, Teresa was killed. So Bond is a Widower

[Lilias]

Until not so long ago, even close to home (meaning several western societies, not going into more 'exotic' setups), male infidelity, ranging from discreet affairs to an openly kept woman, was taken for granted and was considered something that the wife would have to put up with. Female infidelity, if found out, would involve someone dying - the adulteress, her lover, or both - or at least would make her a social pariah for the rest of her life.

[Chris Brady]

Until not so long ago, even close to home (meaning several western societies, not going into more 'exotic' setups), male infidelity, ranging from discreet affairs to an openly kept woman, was taken for granted and was considered something that the wife would have to put up with. Female infidelity, if found out, would involve someone dying - the adulteress, her lover, or both - or at least would make her a social pariah for the rest of her life.

This is true.  But around the 60-70s it changed.  Now, it's the other way around.  Both are in the wrong, but men, it's reason for divorce and nailing the bastard for everything he's got.  With women, it's more gentle, and rarely does it get this sort of extreme reaction.

And this guy was Italian?  Yeah, I can see it.  There's still a lot of the 'old world' mentality going on there with the older (And some younger) generation.

[Torch]

Both are in the wrong, but men, it's reason for divorce and nailing the bastard for everything he's got. 

Urban myth.

On average, a woman's standard of living drops 27% after divorce. A man's standard of living rises 10%.

There isn't quite so much "nailing the bastard for everything he's got" as folks seem to think there is.