Tails of Monkey - Hey Adventure is still waiting

[Catherine]

Getting to the bottom of the spiral staircase and I considered my options. Climbing them and getting dizzy or climbing them and not getting dizzy or staying at the bottom and calling it quits, stairs and myself have a weird relationship. I need to use them and there is always more than I want to walk up or down. A good number likes six is good, I could do six. Especially after the ruins of madness and the bazillion I had to go up and down there. My feet cried, cried! No please not another, why are there so many. This doesn't make sense. Are we on a stair step machine? I heard that they turned in a complaint later to the designer of the ruins and said 'No!' There were some other words, most I  can't repeat. Not because they are dirty or anything I just can't remember what was written. I do remember the second letter that was sent saying something about doing calculations and if the numbers are right and even if they aren't, do a tunnel!

I look up at the stairs as they disappear and look down at my feet and apologize. "Who are you talking to?" Mouse asked.

"My feet," I answered honestly.

Mouse shook its head and started to climb the steps, "I should have known better."

"What?" I asked as I followed behind, "after what I put them though at the ruins of madness, I thought it was best to apologize now. Who knows how many stairs are above us, it spirals so I can only see so many of them. Just being proactive so there isn't any complaints later."

"Of course..." Mouse growled. I thought it was best to not mention anything about my feet complaining or as my grandpa used to say 'dogs barking'. Which if I heard dogs barking might be kind of hard, really hard if they are chasing us.

"Mouse..."

"What?"

"Mouse..." Point back to dogs running quickly towards us barking.

"What?"

Point frantically at dogs as I poked Mouse's back as I am being showered by slobber.

"Why didn't you say anything about those? I was concentrating on one thing in front of me and didn't hear the dogs barking ."

"I thought you might get angry," I answer as I POOF and take off running.

"Well I am not too happy now," I heard Mouse growl, somewhere behind me.

Up the stairs we went, I kept it interesting by going from the outside wall where the stairs were bigger to the inside wall where the stairs were smaller. Which was a challenge, I cold barely get my toes on the stairs sometimes.  Thankfully my tail helped me, If she wasn't there I think I would have fallen back down the stairs and grumbled as I walked back up them.

I did fight off the temptation of running up the stairs, doing the math in my head which included geometry. Stay in school kids and pay attention in class, what they are teaching you will be used someday maybe. Well except for that one class, that will never be used unless you get into a situation where you have to sit there and let your head fall backwards as drool flows out of your open mouth. I figured out that dizziness quotient would be exceedingly high. To the point of the world would be spinning around me so fast that everything would be a blur and I would urp. So instead of running I walked and my stomach thanked me by not having me URP.

Up and up and up and a lot more ups we went. Every so often we passed a window and I would look outside. At first it was cool and then it was 'wow this is high' to 'I think I can see my house from here' and finally to 'I thought you needed a rocket to get this high. " on we climbed and I swear I thought we passed the moon as I looked out the window once. This was getting ridiculously high, just why and if there was a hidden elevator I would be upset. One of those kind of upsets where I just point.

"Are we the..." I start to say but Mouse swings a hand up telling me to stop and pointed with its other hand to a door.

"Yes..."

"Thank monkey", I said, catching myself as I lean back before  accidentally cartwheeling back down the stairs. Which wouldn't have been good. Maybe fun. Maybe record setting. Just not good.

((Hmmmm...))

[Catherine]

Mouse edged to the door, one foot sliding across the floor followed by the other. "Is something wrong?" I ask seeing how cautious Mouse was being. Everything I knew about Mouse didn't yell cautious more pull sword out as it kicked the door down screaming and spitting, definitely spitting.

"Why is it spitting for, it has a sword!?! It burns the eyes!!!!"

If the door is locked, I would imagine Mouse would just chop through it with its sword and then push its head through, "Here is Mousie!" Scaring anyone and everyone on the other side.

So the cautious thing sort of was scary. Alarms, bells and whistles went off in my head. If if Mouse was being careful there was a reason and it must be a big reason. One possibly with scales and teeth, there so better be a dragon on the other side if this door, especially with the amount of stairs that were climbed. Anything else would be disappointing.

Really a chimera that breathes fire and burps acid, is that all? Do you see the number of stairs I climbed, come here look. Those are a lot. Chimeras are maybe first floor stuff. Okay the fire but maybe lets you have a quarter of the stairs to climb, I will give you that. The acid is just gross and sounds like it needs a breath mint. Look at the stairs again, does the chimera look comparable to the amount of stairs? No, so disappointing, you should maybe consider closing this down until you can get a dragon so there is no embarrassing comments on the Internet.

Walked tons of stairs and saw a chimera. Expected more of an experience and got some multi headed thing. The only thing that saved the visit was the gift shop and the shirt I bought, 'I walked stairs and saw three heads and bought this shirt woooo!' The shirt is very soft.

"Why are you being cautious for?" I whispered over Mouse's shoulder which made it jump, hitting me under the chin. Which made me bite my tongue and sent me stumbling backwards.  Before I could ask about dragons, "Youf arb jumbee."

Mouse shot me a look that said it all and then some. "Sarbee, Jub seathin whyb bending caubtentous." Mouse took another step towards the door, "Isn't strange we haven't run into anything in the castle. It should be teeming with things."

I stopped all movement and just listened, "Ib wibered bat tub. Butb thall itb wab callb itb ib haund."

For a moment I thought Mouse was going to smack me, telling me the place isn't haunted for the umpteenth time. I think I saw its hand pull back a little in fact, "it isn't haunted." Mouse growled silently.

"Howb dub yub expwain..." I start to poorly say.

"I dint know, don't care. There should have been monsters hanging around but there is none. That means something is wrong,"

"Wong ibnt gowd."

"Get ready," mouse said reaching for the doorknob. I nod and reach into my bag for my staff.  Not like it will do any good against the dragon that is on the other side of the door. Other than use it for a toothpick, dental hygiene is good though.

((I am not so sure about this...))

[Catherine]

I started to glisten as Mouse's hand slowly went for the doorknob. Any slower and I don't think it would be moving, well at least to human eyes. Nervously I look at mouse then at mouse's hand then whisper, "Are you going to move any faster."

Mouse jerked its hand away, when it heard my voice and gave me a look that burned through the stone behind me. Then slowly started reaching for the doorknob again.

"You need to hurry, the dragon might be getting hungry. Hungry dragons aren't nice dragons."

Mouse jerked its hand back again, it's gaze burning another two holes into the wall behind me before motioning for me to be quiet. Of course I nodded, mouse has the sword which trumps staff anytime. Especially with the size of mouse's sword, that it one time size does matter. Big sword, no huge sword, no humongous sword beats everything. It is one of those, speak to the sword moments.

"What did you say? SCHWING"

"Oh um I said um yeah okay this and that okay and um..."

"That is what I thought. Reverse SCHWING"

You think I would have learned from the first two times, nope I am stubborn like that. The only thing that learned a lesson was the wall to be honest. It could have been crying stone tears, "why do you keep doing that?"

"What type of dragon do you think is on the other side of the door?" Which got me the look again and if the walls could try they would. Maybe even dance around going ow ow ow ow and try to put out the burning feeling. I could go so commercially right now but I won't, don't need to have the censors going, what is she referring to? Do you know? Do you think she is referring to spilling hot coffee in her lap? If so, the safety top was on pretty good, she just had it at just the right angle and SPLASH!

Mouse growled and I gave it the power sign of be quite, one finger in the vertical position and "Shh...... There might be a dragon on the other side of the door." Which got me another look and possibly the walls behind me crying even more. If I looked back would I see twin streams of water running done the wall? I start to turn to look, hey curiosity got the better of me, when suddenly I felt something grab me by the front of my neck and pull me close enough to smell Mouse's breath, "Don't speak another word until I tell you, okay?"

I nodded slowly, it was a mixture of saying okay, will do and trying to find clean air. That last part was kind of important since the area in front of my mouth now smelled uber overripe. Like a lactose intolerant skunk got ahold of milk,and well.....Phpt! 'I will stay quiet, I said, with a smile, holding back a cough.

Quickly I take a step back, "you really need to open it so we can see." Which Mouse answered with a growl and a loud sneeze.

((Remember Guys sweat and girls glisten.))

[Catherine]

I freeze, if there is anything on the other side of the door it now knows that there is something on the other side of the door. There won't be any throwing the door open and yelling surprise or any stealth opening the door and any 'hey left the door open' as people fall to the ground after being thumped in the back of the head with a HIYAH  maybe. A stealth HIYAH but a HIYAH still the same. Now if there are any teeth, claws or any other sharp pointy things, they will be pointed at the door and possibly in a position where they can be fallen into by accident.

Immediately I regret my first action, slapping Mouse's arm, which got me the 'wait until this is done' stare. I tried to recover and my tail crossed its fingers that Mouse would accept that some strange wind caught my hand and sent it into Mouse's arm by accident. I even laughed a little a pointed saying WOOSH doing the hand leaf in the wind thing. Mouse slowly reached for my hand and I got the distinct image of my har nd being pulled off with one jerk. Quickly I hide it behind my back as motioned with my head to the door, "We shouldn't keep whoever waiting. It would be rude."

Mouse didn't blink, didn't avert its eyes as it reached for the doorknob and pushed open the door, then with swept its hand telling me to go on in the room. So mannerly, I thought to myself as I started to step through the doorway, after looking inside of course, freezing when my butt senses started to go off, images of foot meeting butt flashing into my mind. Immediately I took a step back, "You almost had me there."

"What are you talking about?" Mouse growled.

"I step by and one of your feet comes up and hits me in the butt. For some reason it is  starting to happen quite a bit and I am trying to prevent it this time. It isn't good for rear cheeks, sudden compression and everything. They have done scientific studies on crash dummies and monkeys. Wait, what? On monkeys..... " I get flashbacks of that ick monster with the cricket bat and how sore my butt, which is properly padded by the way, got and how it might have glowed afterwards. I would have been so embarrassed if Santa stopped by, "Monkey with your butt so bright. Will you guide my sleigh tonight?"

I would yell  "No!", waving my hands in front of me. "I have a hard time running backwards and I don't want birds shooting up my butt by accident. You should ask that one deer with the cold, its nose is all red and glowie. You should tell it to use softer tissues, maybe ones with aloe."

"I wasn't going to kick your butt. Now get in there!""

"Are you sure or are you just telling me that to get me to drop my guards."  I ask, eyes darting to Mouse's feet. Not sure if it could lift its feet high enough although it could use its tail for balance and everything.

"Yes, I am sure," Mouse spit, "you wanted the locator and it is inside the room."

I take a step forward and stop, "Are you sure?"

"Get in there!" Mouse yelled.

"Fine but if I feel foot to butt or anything close to that, I will point and give you okay a nasty look."

Mouse shook its head, "fine."

I start to step through, thus could be surprise party. Which would be a surprise since I am not expecting one. Need to get ready and act surprised. Hands to side of face with mouth open with 'you guys shouldn't have' and everything. Foot goes forwards, can't turn back now.....

((Beep. Insert message here.))

[Catherine]

I step through and and look around trying to find where everyone is hiding before they pop out. Behind the bed, huh what?  Wait that makes sense, tall tower and tons of steps. It reeks of what a princess would want. If their rescuer can make it up those he is obviously in shape and everything, maybe slightly winded, but in shape. Unless he is one of those princes/Knights who get dressed up in full armor and run. Interior designers probably have a book that they show princesses in what is hot and happening in stairs.

"Now if you get these stairs, with a slight granite finish, it says i am available while also saying I have tastes. Now you might get the urge for alternating stair finishes" we recommend not to since it makes the stairs garnish and also yells, daddy was rich and his daughter is spoiled."

Maybe at the princess conventions they compare the number of floors of stairs they have. Seeing it as the more stories the better.

"Phpft.... You have how many? Thirty? That is all? That is so cute. Hey girls we have a wannabe princess here. Listen you have to have at least fifty floors. Now go wave your scepter and tiara with what looks like cut glass somewhere else. We are real princesses, you know with at least fifty floors of stairs. Be gone little wannabe. Oh wait let me boink you on the head with my scepter to make it official. Be gone little wannabe" and boink. Done a little too forcefully because you are not a princess. The birds flying around your head are just regular birds and not peacocks and the stairs are either plated or spray painted.

The bed is canopied and everything, is a princess laying there thinking my prince has come? He is probably big and strong since he ran up all of the stairs.  Any second now he will come over here and give me a kiss. Then I can fake wake up and say "Yu save me my prince." Wrap arms around him and be carried away. Sigh and everything. Sorry princess, no prince at the door. Just a super cute and adorable monkey girl with her short round called 'Mouse.'

"Short round, you can enter." I realize my mistake as it slips from my lips. Turning round towards Mouse I give it a nervous laugh. "Yeah I didn't mean to say that." Mouse growled, which is better than pulling sword out and chasing me around the room, "the canopy bed must be home to some weird princess bug or something and I forgot my shots this year.  Mouse added a spit to the  growl this time. I look around th room trying to switch the subject.

Iron maiden? Not the rock group the thing that look s like that. Has spikes inside so it makes whoever steps in leaky. They would scream a lot unless they are are or ballon  animal   and pop. Different to put one in a tower and in princesses bedroom. So I am doubting someone is hiding there. Where else?

Bureau, unless they slipped into the drawers, I doubt it. That means they are contortionists and while I am flexible, I don't want to be that flexible. Hey guys look at CRACK this.

Mirror? Really thin somethings. They would jump out and yell as a they go flying out of the window.

Bear skin rug? It doesn't look lumpy so I doubt that, if the bear skin pops up I am down the stairs. Even faster and further if it growls.

Well poo, no surprise party. I look back at Mouse, "No surprise party."

"Who would have guessed, " mouse growled as it walked by.

I walked by whimpering, I was wishing for a surprise party.  As I jumped onto the bed, bouncing several  times, I asked  what we were looking for, hoping it wasn't answered with a sword.

((Just hope no sword.))

[Catherine]

Thankfully I wasn't answered with a sword, just answered with a spit and a goober slowly running down the wall. Possibly looking at me as it did and blorping at me when it touched the floor. Not sure if it was saying something like 'You stay where you are at and I will be right over sometime to slime you or something.' I just gave it an eye and then kicked my feet up on the bed and leaned back. "Tell me when you need a help up," I said with a laugh as I relaxed, eyes closing and everything.

"What do you mean by that," mouse growled. My eyes flew open and I was up, I don't need to explain. I was laying down and now I wasn't. Primarily so I wasn't in the prime position for being chopped in half. "Um.... That wasn't meant for you that was meant for the booger you spit out. I just wanted to let it know that when it finally reached the bed that I would help it up so it could suck my brains out. That is all."

Mouse froze and closed its eyes, "Were you... Never mind. I want to keep it a mystery. To answer your question I am looking for a bracelet."

"Were I what?"

"Never mind, need to find the bracelet so you can find Audokornet." Mouse answered as it went to the bureau. The first place I would look at to be honest, bracelets always hide there or in.... Hey wait a moment. "Mouse I thought you said there was a treasure chest. You know pirates and everything."

Mouse laughed, "I did,didn't I. That is where I put the bracelet."

"Yeah but you are going to the bureau. Which while it does contain items it is not a chest."

"No it isn't," Mouse answered as it pulled open one drawer, followed by another and then another. Closing them after opening them.

"So why or did you get words mixed up? It is okay if you did, it happens to me sometimes. Especially if you point and say something about a rabid dog with slobber and everything and you really mean a rabbit. People don't like that."

I didn't have to see Mouse's face to know it rolled its eyes as it continued to open and close drawers. Open and close over and over. Even opening and closing ones that were already opened and closed, some multiple times. All I could do Is look on questionably as Mouse continued and around the twelfth time Mouse opened one of the drawers I decided it might be good for me to say something. Something to figure out what was happening, something that wasn't mean or anything. I have to be open for Mouse's feelings. Which I think it has, I know it has the growl expression and the spit one. Hmm....... "What in the world are you doing? Playing hide and go seek with the drawers?"

Mouse growled, "No...." Then slammed the drawer closed. Slowly I started to edge backwards as pictures of swords flew through my head. Every one of them making me wince. Okay ow I thought that last one hurt but this new one yow. Who would have thought answord could do that or that or even, I think I am going to close my eyes now and maybe if I am lucky that will keep me from seeing the images in my head. Nope!

The sound of the drawer hitting the back echoed throughout the room , covering the clicking sound. Suddenly without warning the bureau, part of the wall and floor spun. Taking long enough for me to look surprised.,

"Wow........................" I said as a chest appeared. Catching myself before I started to clap. "Amazing do it again."

"No," Mouse growled as it pulled a key out and starts to push it into the chest. Without thinking I ran over to join Mouse, I couldn't miss this. Bureau hiding a chest with a flipping wall. "That was amazing!"

"Yes, yes," Mouse said the key started to turn.

I see light coming from inside as the lid rises, "this is going to be amazing" I even took the precaution of covering my eyes just in case something was set to pop. Don't need to blinded by accident. Thee... two.... One......

((Whew not a sword. Thank monkey.))

[Catherine]

What I was experiencing was one of those oh my monkey moments, mouth hanging open and everything. I didn't have to worry about birds flying in because we were inside so mouth was on. Sunglasses on, don't ask me where I got them it is a perk of being cute and adorable. If there is a bright light the cute and adorable can pull sunglasses from somewhere so they aren't blinded, big black plastic sunglasses that are so dark it is dark. The night is jealous of how dark the glasses are. If someone asks to show them something dark, everyone would point to the sunglasses I am wearing and I would stand there oblivious, "Is anyone out there? I can hear you breathing."

I stood there and watched as the bureau, part of the wall and floor spun around. Light  coming out like uhhhhhhhhh and smoke went wooosshhhh. The smoke was a really good effect it definitely added to the whole moment. Not too much where you can't see anything and have to have fireman come in with respirators to rescue you. It sort of crept along the ground and was really cool.

The only thing that could have added even more to the moment would be doves. But that is iffy. Those can add and take away from the moment. If there is too many of them, especially in this enclosed area and it would be overwhelming. Almost like a moving wall. "Wow..... Hey, What is that? Run. Run! It is a moving wall of beaks and coos." That and just think of the mess, trapped in that little area. Everything would be covered in ick. You would have to get a hazmat suit to open the chest.

[heavy breathing sound] "I think I have it. I just need to get the key in the.... Oh poo, literally I just dropped the key and the is no way I will be able to pick it up. Can someone get it for me?" [heavy breathing sound] "Thank, well poo can you get it for me again?"

Then if there is only like two, it is just yawn. Really two, a good treasure is worth more than two doves. Let me just close this back up and we will try another secret panel thingie and see if it had more doves.

Questions arise if there is just one. Many dark questions. Questions that shouldn't be asked, that is how dark they are. If I whispered one to you, your great great grandkids that haven't been born yet would start having nightmares. The skies would go dark. Puppies would do very unpuppy-like things. Fortunately there are no doves so I didn't have to count them.

Standing there was the chest with the bracelet in it. Strobe lights going off on either side of the chest as the fog machines, doing the fog thing, which I could see now.

"Is there going to be a guitar rift?" I asked as Mouse stepped up to the chest. All it did was growl and shook its head. "This deserves a guitar rift though. What with the lights and fog. I might have a lighter, flip it open and go wahoo...." This made Mouse stop, turn to look at me, shake its head and turn back around.

"What? It is standard concert thing to do. Fog, blinding light, guitar rift, something rotating and lighter. I saw it at the Demon's concert. There was body surfing too. Which I don't think is possible with the amount of people we have here. Unless you want to try and hold me up?"

Mouse exhaled, "How?"

"How what?" I ask, interest piqued.

"How have you made it this long?"

I don't blink, "By the skin of my tail!"

((You can use that saying now. It isn’t trademark and it is original. Try and see someone smile, then slowly back away.))

[Catherine]

Mouse reached for chest, which strangely did not have a big  oversized lock, unless it was invisible. If it was invisible that would be ingenious. I can just imagine someone seeing the chest and thinking 'there is always mad riches in a treasure chest' and seeing that there was no lock they would be blinded by the dollar signs in front of their eyes. Rub their hands together slowly, imagining all of the things they will be buying like poodles, expensive cars that are really fast and for some reason a gold toilet. Don't ask me why, I think it is something about all of that cash doing something to how they think. They stop thinking logically and just stop thinking, buying things because they can. If you think I am kidding and just made that up watch one of those shows that interview a rich person or shows their house. Look for the ridiculous, it is probably around the corner and gold. Why? I don't know it just is.

Where was i? Oh yeah. Person sees a lock free chest, sneaks up to it. Grabs a hold of the lid, starts to laugh madly and WHAM! Chest top comes up just a little and then nothing. The guy tries over and over again, getting more and more frustrated. Finally letting out a scream, "why don't you open? You don't have a lock." Thinking it could be jammed or something, the person rattles the top and nothing, except for the guttural scream followed by curling up into a ball and possibly sucking on your thumb. "Why won't it open? [insert sucking thumbs  i

Then their head would hit against the invisible and feel the lock. Being really large it would be hard to miss. It would be ready to be picked and the guy would know and pull out his lock pick kit.

But the the whole not being able to seen comes into play. Can you pick and invisible lock? You can try to pick it and the guy shrugs and eventually roars when he is unsuccessful. All he ended up doing is break a perfectly good pick set.

"Watch out for traps, mouse, ? " I yell up to Mouse and all it did was swat a hand in the air. How rude! It would have thanked me if something sharp and metallic popped out,

Closer and closer its hand  came in and moments later up popped the lid, glowing light and everything, sure sign of something good inside or a light of some sort.  We will be seeing soon and couldn't help myself from jumping up and down excitably.

((I think there should be a mouse action figure.))

[Catherine]

If my eyes could get wider, they would as the chest opened. I think I even stopped breathing for a moment and I gasped for air when the chest opened even more and I thought I saw something. I wanted to ask what the locator was over and over before this but I am pretty sure I would have tasted steel and not in the good way.  Now I was going to find out and it was slowly being revealed in front of me. So slow....... I had to fight the urge to tell Mouse that it was purposefully doing what it was doing  and  that I knew it was doing it on purpose to get to me and then grab ahold of the chest's lid and just throw it open.

I know if I did that, that things could happen. One being a growl followed by something that would make me ow. The second being I throw open the chest and it was trapped, that if the chest is thrown open with excessive speed that someone would be meeting the business end of a spear, "See now was it that hard?" [kerchunk] "What is that?" [thump] "Ow! This hurts, can you pull this out. I have a thing about spears going through my body and well.... I don't like it. Some maybe just you know antiseptic, a lot of bandages and pull. As soon as possible to, the whole spear thing will make it hard to get through doors." So I stood there like a good monkey girl and tapped my foot as Mouse slowly opened the chest. It knew what it was doing and if something was triggered and came flying out, whatever it was would just fly over its head and.... The thought alone made me take a step back followed by a few more.

From back where I was standing, a safe distance away from any spears, I started to tap my foot again. To take my mind off things I looked up and around just to be safe, sometimes traps just don't like to participate and follow rules. Sometimes they do things that aren't expected, like not being a spear and being little holes hidden a distance away from whatever is trapped. The adventurer thinks they are safe, maybe even mocking the trap "Ha ha I am out of range and you can't hit me. I out smarted you ha ha ha." When suddenly the trap is triggered and flames or darts come shooting out of the walls all around the person. All they can say as they become a crispy critter or pin cushion is "hey you weren't suppose to do that!" I just wanted to make sure, I don't want to be one of those adventurers. Nothing strange in the walls though so all good, I am not sure if you are really there trap. Sometimes it is best to be safe than sorry, especially with traps.

Mouse kept opening the chest and I yawned, how long was this going to take? Slowly my eyes closed.

I opened my eyes and Mouse was still opening the chest, further along now which was good but my eyelids were getting heavy and I......

When I opened them again Mouse was still working on the lid and this time I just closed my eyes.

Should I bother opening them? Nope keep them closed for a little longer.

Now, I think and I open them and was wrong. The chest was almost open but not yet. So I close them back in and enjoy a dream of banana shake bliss.

"You know you are good, like banana good," I mumble as Mouse shakes me awake. "What? Who? Where am I?" I ask blinking rapidly trying to get the sleep out of them. Mouse spit and showed me a hand, "I got it?"

Still half asleep I asked 'got what?' before remembering why we were here for. "Oh...oh yeah the locator." I look down at Mouse's hand and saw one of those neon plastic bracelets that glow in the dark. The bane of ninjas across the world, once you get one slapped on your wrist there is no way you can sneak around in the shadows unless you take it off. Why would you though, they look cool in well that sort of way.

"Is that it," I ask pointing down with a finger towards the bracelet.

"Yes," mouse growled.

"I sort of expected something different."

"No, this is it." Mouse said before spitting again.

"Am I being punked? Maybe you picked the wrong thing out of the chest," I said running over to the chest and looking inside only to see the inside of the chest and that is all. I heard a growl coming from behind me, taking it for a 'no' which was confirmed by the layer of dust in the chest.

"I guess not," I said turning back around and looking at the bracelet in Mouse's hand. "How does it work?"

Mouse just shook its head, "you put it on your wrist, it is a bracelet. Or your ankle if you really want. Have you never worn a bracelet before?"

If I had a mirror I would have seen my face turning a bright red, "Yes, I have but it is the locator isn't it? Isn't there anything special?" Mouse just shrugged, "nope, you put it on and it will do its job."

"So why aren't you putting it on?" Mouse just laughed, "I am not getting myself into that mess like before. You released Audokornet, you track it done and get it back into its container."

"But...."

"There is no but, this will teach you a lesson. Not everything has cookies in it or something." Mouse growled.

"Fine," I said walking over to Mouse. Taking the bracelet from Its hand, taking a breath , closing my eyes and slipping it on my..... right no left wrist. I expected a tingle or something but nothing happened. Slowly I opened my eyes and looked down at my wrist and the bracelet. Any second now something was going to happen, I just knew if. At the worse the bracelet would transform and try to bite my hand off and I would scream, "Get it off! Get it off!" Or it would start to beep over and over since someone set an alarm on it and forgot to leave the instructions on how to turn it off.

Again nothing, just a little glow and that is all, "So um.... How does this work?" I ask as I shake my wrist, which everyone knows will activate a bracelet if it has any powers.

((Magical bracelet activated form of a cute and adorable monkey girl))

[Catherine]

I shake my wrist again. "I think it is broken, " I tell Mouse as I shake my wrist one more time swearing it felt like my hand was going to fly off if I do it anymore.

"You young people are just impatient, you want things right now," Mouse answered  as it sat down.

"I can wait on somethings like bee stings, being chased by long forgotten elder gods or ice cream headaches. Definitely the last one, I have had  too many for a person my age I think. Nothing like going "Ow!!!!" as you hold your head think it might blow up at any moment . "Grrr......... Ice cream is freezing my brain." Boom KERSPLASH! It really sucks that you have to take that into consider sometimes. Oh this is my favorite nom nom nom nom nom nom ARGH! Why do you tease me my favorite  flavor? Why?!?!?  Shake hand to sky, "I will get my revenge!"

"Banana milkshakes on the other hand, I can't wait on. I hear any combination of those two words and I am there in a poof cloud. I might be way no way over there when you mentioned it. Which I guarantee will happen. "Do not do anything with containers. You have been warned with an exclamation point." Might not stop me.

Shaking my hand again, I think I have the bracelet activated when I think I see something light up, "I got it!" Excited i push my hand forward, "I knew I would get it to work. Just had to shake it like paint or something."

"No...." Mouse said and that is about it.

"What? Are you sure? I saw it glowing and everything."

"Yes I am sure. I wore it the last time," mouse answered.

"So no glowing after shaking then," I asked, slowly shaking my wrist from side to  side  for no apparent reason.

"No...."

"Then what? How do I get to turn on?"

Mouse growled, "ask it where Audokornet is?"

Slowly an eyebrow raised, now it was getting a little out there. Asking the bracelet where Audokornet was, really that is all it took.  That is just a little too easy. No pressing finger against something or calling something by name first. Just hey show me where so so is? I laugh, "Hey show me where Audokornet js please."

I didn't expect anything but something happened. A bright green glowing arrow something, one that spun around and pointed that way. I still there, mouth open and stared. Moving my wrist a little to see if it could be a automatic, point in this direction thing but it kept moving to point that direction and nowhere else.

"Told you..." Mouse said proudly and I nodded.” Before Ryan could answer Nichole let her arm drop to her side before turning to face the water.


((Insert something but brain is not working))

[Catherine]

"Now I know where Audokornet is," I say shaking my arm just to test. I need to know how much this bracelet can handle before heading out, I don't need it glitching out in the middle of well um....... In the middle of something and either it stop working or something worse. The something worse is kind of open but there is a lot of things that it could be from giving me false positives and sending me on wild gone chases which after the one incident when I was young i really don't want to experience again.

How was I suppose to know that geese didn't like being chased, that even though they just want to do this and that, they don't mind turning on a little girl and hunting her down like a pack of raptors. I did my best to get away from them, I ran and hide. I even hide in the car! But they hunted me down like the predators they aren't. I am not sure how they managed to open the car door, but they did and they jumped me. All I remember is feathers, webbed feet and bills as I frantically tried to get away. To this day I can't look at anything filled with down without getting flashbacks.

Or the the bracelet could start singing old tunes from silent movies, whatever those are. I remember seeing one when Mom and Dad took me to a museum, they said it was for my own good and I would thank them later. When parents say that, I learned to not fight and just play along, something usually good came out of it like a stuffed animal or ice cream shaped like a dinosaur or something.

Oh or I could be taking a break enjoying a nice cool drink like whatever that sweet tea stuff is. When suddenly the bracelet goes nuts and pointer arrows go shooting all over, knocking things over and everything. Little kids' ice creams are knocked out of their hands, birds are punched out of the sky and passerby's are given wedgies. General chaos occurs and sitting in the middle of it is me, frozen in the drinking pose, looking at things as they occur wishing the warranty on the bracelet was still good.  Or as I am drinking the tea the bracelet does the while 'Audokornet is there' thing showing me it is all around while displaying it as a very not silent mode as it honks continuously. This catches me off guard and I spit comically all the tea on a old lady who just happens to be walking by at the moment.

I don't want any of those or anything else so I field test more by shaking my wrist. Mouse gives me the 'what are you doing and do I really want to know' look and I reply with 'field testing'. Not enough of that happens sometimes and bad things happen like..... Just things happen. I would tell you but I am in the middle of one and my wrist is really starting to hurt.

Warning lights start to go off, ones that never have gone off before except for that one time, so they were covered in spiderwebs and dust. I look and after wiping the dust and webs away see it is the wrist being twisted to the max lights. There is even a meter to, which I had forgotten about, which was firmly planted in the red. Any moment now my hand would go flying off if I didn't take emergency procedures and stop!

"Testing complete," I said, "the bracelet looks like it can take a beating and keep on doing what bracelets do best" and stop. Mouse just looked at me and growled "Idiot."

((Have you ever heard a mouse growl? It will make a Lion cower.))

[Catherine]

"I needed to test it just to be safe," I say rubbing my wrist. "If the bracelet stopped working at an important time, all I have is a bracelet. Although stylish in a plastic glowie type of way it wouldn't be useful in certain situations. Being lost in a dark cave until the glow fades yes. Deflecting bullets with it not really and I wouldn't try to do that. Okay maybe for a ...."

"Now we want you to stand over here and stick your wrist up with the bracelet."

I look around questioning the whole moment, "I am not to sure about this. Couldn't you use maybe a dummy. Those don't bleed and scream you know."

"Yeah we could use one of those and everything but that means we have to throw this away," the person that is in this whole imagined scene says as it lifts a glass of something up.

"What is that?"

"Oh nothing," the imaginary person says as it walks over to a sink,taking the lid off the cup as it does "Just a shake that is all."

My ears perk up when I hear the word 'shake'. "Um do you mind if I ask you what type of shake?"

"No," the imaginary person answers as it starts to tip the glass over, "Just a banana shake ."

Carefully my hands cradle the banana milkshake, "Let's discuss this further. What exactly do you want me to do?  I remember you saying something about standing with my wrist up?"

Maybe I could use it as a weapon, you know throw it with a HIYAH! It would go spinning away and knock people out or if some bad guy is climbing a rope the bracelet would nicely slice it making the villain fall. Of course that usually takes sometime larger like a tiara or something to actually do. Bracelets might hit and just bounce off, laughing would commence right after that with a 'You actually tried that!'

"It is best to go into situations knowing what things do, don't want to have any surprises you know.

"Oh you are trouble now, once I tap this bracelet you are just going to see what it does and I hear it will be.... Hey what is happening ? Why are there things poking out of the bracelet forms four walls which keep getting smaller. Hey I don't  want to be In a box. I know it is good for transporting things or storage  but I don't want either of one of those."

 Also I wanted to see if the arrows maybe fired and if they did, check to see if he safety is on. I don't want arrows to go flying all over the place, it would take me forever to clean all of those up. Which it doesn't do by the way if you didn't already know.

Mouse just turned and shook its head as it walked away, "Idiot..."

((Cheese...))

[Catherine]

I follow Mouse out of the secret room to the not secret room, "So what is the plan? We use the bracelet to track Audokornet down and when we got it trapped we do some type of double panzer with a flat move, taking the thing by surprise because we would have thrown smoke grenades and tinsel into the air to act like chaff just in case it fires missiles at us."

"Do you even think before you talk, "  Mouse asked, walking over to its bag that was sitting in the corner.

"Sometimes yes."

Mouse laughed once, "That is what I thought. No we aren't going with your plan.  If we did, I would hate to think what Audokornet   Would turn us into. Probably a cotton ball or something and I really don't  want to be a cotton ball. What we are going to do is, I am going home and you are going to go capture Audokornet."

"But why aren't you going?"

Mouse spit and it hit a wall with a wet thud, "Who released it?"

"Well um, I did but I thought what was holding it was a cookie jar and so...."

Mouse spit again, "and so nothing. You released it, so you must capture it. In fact, it will be a good lesson for you."

 "But we could do a team up, those are big I hear. Except for oil and water, that one isn't so good."

"No team up," mouse growled, "there is a lesson, you will learn and that is it. You will be better in the end."

"I could also be turned into one  of those monkeys with the cymbals, freaky eyes and large teeth. You know the ones what go cheap...cheap....cheap." I do the cymbal banging motion with my hands.

Mouse rolled its eyes, "Maybe but you still have to do it, your responsibility. Your hand got caught with the cookie jar."

"True," I say as I stand up and shake the bracelet, "Where is Audokornet?" 


((Okay' I though audokornet would be here grrrrrrrr...))

[Catherine]

The arrow appears like it did before, pointing one way well that way before it started to  spin. I am not sure how the bracelet worked, maybe it was something in the bracelet. Like the glow stuff that was allowing it to glow. I hear if you get enough of it together you would be able to do things, like read at night and stuff. Maybe even have mutant abilities which I will pass on.

I don't need a third arm or anything strange. That and some of those abilities are just strange. Hey I can stretch myself, what happens if you get caught in a car door and it takes off? BOING SNAP AND EEEEEEEE....... Turn into fire, that would be bad on clothes. "Fire Up!" and then have to hide as my clothes burn up, I am not a nudist. So yeah no. Some might enjoy it and just fly about, me I will be over there hiding. I am not forgetting about the mental abilities, again pass. I don't, DON'T want to know what others think. Rub head, I can sense your thoughts, there is nothing to hide and Oh my monkey. How can you be thinking about that right now. How? I mean how can you? It isn't normal, just no and stop! Stop thinking I don't want to hear your thoughts, think about anything else, puppies even.  I will need to get mental soap to get this out of my head. You need help and please keep your thoughts to yourself, there are kids nearby or somewhere. One last one, claws. You know SNIKT! What happens if they pop out and get caught on my rings? What if it is In the middle of winter and SNIKT and ruin my mittens? I like those, they keep my hands warm. So no on claws too.

I shake my arm just a little just to see and the arrow bobs almost like it is in liquid but nothing else happens. No spinning around and almost hitting me or anything. The arrow finally settles on direction of that way, "Well I know where I am heading I guess."

"Yeah but there is a catch," Mouse said, spitting yet again. If this conversation lasts too long the walls and everything else might be covered in whatever Mouse is spitting.

Quickly I bring my hand up, "Don't tell me this is going to suck my soul out or something. If it does, I think returning it to the chest is a good decision. I sort of like my soul right where it is at."

Mouse closed its eyes, "Where do you even come up with that?"

I sit there for a moment, looking around the room trying to find a good idea, "I saw it in a movie I think, why?"

"Because it is true."

"What?!?" I say jumping off the bed and wildly look around trying to find something that I could use to pry off the soul sucking bracelet. Little known fact, soul sucking bracelets don't like being just taken off. They will get a death grip on your wrist and something will be coming off, with a pop, just not the bracelet and you won't be as handy. Ugh that was a bad one but I got a soul sucker on my wrist and I want to get it off! I even consider something drastic, so drastic that if I put it down in words there would be a lot of whistling and people saying, 'Wow that is drastic.'

"No."

"No what?" I ask, wondering if I could pick the lock on the bracelet. Of course I have never picked a lock before, except at the store and pointing "I think I will use that one this year." Also I don't think the bracelet has a lock as far as I can tell. Boy Scout manual, I tell myself, it has everything and hopefully a good section on bracelets, soul sucking and how to get them off your wrist before a straw is used on your soul.

"The bracelet won't suck your soul."

I calm down a little and look at Mouse, "Are you sure?"

Mouse spit, "Yes, I wore the bracelet and I still have my soul." I give Mouse the once over, questioning the whole it has s soul thing. It sort of looks like it has a soul but....

"I will have to trust you on that one."

"What?" Mouse said as it stood up, surprised.

"Things without souls would say they have souls to get things with souls close by so they can suck them."

Mouse rolled its eyes, "Listen, the catch is the arrow points where Audokornet is but by the time you get there it will be too late and it will be gone."

The arm with the bracelet drops, "What? Then the bracelet is more 'I will point you to where stuff is happening but you are going to get there and see the aftermath'?"

"Sort of but you need to get something to get you there faster, a steed maybe."

"Like a car?"

"Cars won't work, it has to be a living creature." Mouse answered and before I could ask why it said just because and handed me a business card, "Head there and you will be able to find yourself a steed."

I look down at the card, "How do I find this place?"

Mouse smiled, "I have been waiting for this."

((Soul sucking bracelets found now in stores everywhere. ))

[Catherine]

I should of known really, when someone says "I have been looking forward to this" it usually means something and for me it means only thing. Why? I  don't know but it does . I remember asking what Mouse was looking forward to as my tail slowly swayed back and forth behind me. Mouse just laughed to itself and said I would see, again alarms and flashing lights should be going off especially with the 'I would see'. A laugh and 'I would see' together is never good.

I have seen movies, I know what happens, usually it is someone falling from a great height after someone tells them to lean just a little further out. "What?" The one person asks and the other answer 'You will see', lean over and push. "Aiyeeeeeeeee hey I think I see it now."

It could even be the old murderer in the closet trick. That usually begins with 'Hey does anyone know what is in the closet?' And an answer of 'You will see.' Hoping for a cool Christmas sweater, which is really hard to find, hanging there and you get an axe wielding maniac with an axe and I don't mean a guitar.

So I should have known when Mouse lead me out to a balcony. Which I didn't remember seeing it before, it was just there just beyond an arched doorway. It was a beautiful sight to see, what with the clouds and sun, some birds over there and something else over these and the endless sky that goes well endless. What made it beautiful was the setting sun which I should have taken as a hint.

"You see that way over there?" Mouse asked, pointing to an area in the horizon. I squinted and did the whole hand to brow thing since that is suppose to help seeing things way off in the distance.

"Maybe...." I answered, thinking I could possibly be seeing something. Whatever that something was I don't know.

"That is where you need to go."

"You sure," I ask squinting even more trying to make something out. If I was closer I could probably make out more details but from back here all I could see was a neon sign maybe.

"Yes," Mouse answered as it walked behind me and prepared, "I can help you get there."

"You can? Cool thanks."

Those were the last words I managed to get out before screaming. Not a little bit of screaming either, it was a lot. What would you do if you find yourself falling down the side of a weird creepy tower? Let me answer, you would scream and not worry about bugs flying into your mouth since the end was coming up. Okay some would say grab for the side of the tower. I would say back, that it is stone and I like my fingers.

Down I went screaming towards something. It was big and circular and coming up fast. Then WHOOSH and a buzzer.

What just happened? You have to wait, still trying to catch my breath,

((Ending with a comma because why not,))

[Catherine]

I lay there unconscious asking myself why, why is there a strange attraction for feet to my rear. You think I would learn after the first couple times, if someone strangely takes a step back while telling me to look at something that an impact on a properly padded bottom followed by an ow will soon be occurring.

I understand it with baboons and everything, look at their butts they have baboon butts. The butts that other butts make fun of and snigger behind their back, "Look at him, he is red , round and bulbous." It can give a butt a complex, it won't want to go outside and if it does, it will want to be covered up.

Which is good come to think about it, seeing a bunch of pale pasty white moons while sitting there trying to enjoy a beautiful day can give a person nightmares. "There were moons everywhere, full large white ones. I just wanted to enjoy a beautiful outside and everything. How was I suppose to know I would suffer an astronomical event. I think...I think I even saw small astronauts landing on them and planting flags. Which of course people will say was faked and everything. But why? Why would you want to a fake full moon landing like that? Could they have just used something like the desert or something. At least with that I wouldn't be having nightmares at night thinking moons of different sizes were out to get me. "

Where was I? Oh yeah trying to figure out magnetic attraction between other people's feet and my bottom. After the last one I looked in a mirror just to see if there was maybe a small sign that only feet could see or a target painted back there and I didn't see anything.

   * Mental note to self - self check to see if magnets stick to bottom. If they do, see doctor because that isn't natural. I don't want to worry every time I walk past a refrigerator and have the  magnets fly off of it and onto my bottom.   Especially those letter ones, I don't want messages on my butt. Hearing someone laughing behind me and turning around to ask what it is. They would point and I would look which would be followed by a blush when I see a weird message like 'help me' or even 'eat at earls' or maybe 'XXL'. I don't want that. End mental more.

  * Oops forgot, mental not to self - need to wake up and find out where I am. It doesn't feel like Kansas and the last thing I remember was flying down the side of a castle, mouth closed and screaming so birds wouldn't fly in. End mental note.*

Slowly I push myself up as I open my eyes, surrounded by white fluffy stuff. Did I hit the ground and go to heaven, I ask myself since I hear that it isn't the fall that kills you but the sudden stop at the end. If I did I am going to ask for a plaid halo, I think they will be in this year and an air electric guitar instead of a a harp, i think that would be biblical. Rock on little monkey girl angel and throw the hand sign with the devil horns, wait that isn't right. People in churches would raise a lighter when they hear the story of the little monkey girl angel with a plaid halo playing her air electric guitar making the jello in a bowl part because she could and saving banana milkshakes from the forces of evil people  and their crusty lips. You know that is banana gold right, not the evil people with crusty lips but the banana milkshakes. I have? Okay. They are though.

Slowly I look around, doing that whole mouth action thing that people do when they wake up so they don't have bad breath and are mistaken for zombies.

 * law number 261 of the cute and adorable - the cute and adorable can't have stinky breath. Not even if they eat a lot of garlic and onions, why they would do that isn't know but still. They will always have minty fresh breath or breath that smells of cotton candy. Either or we are flexible. But stinky breath, no!  You are so cute and adorable, oh my monkey it smells like you gargled skunks. Please go over there and not face the wall, I like the paint.*

"Where am I?" I say out loud just in case anyone is nearby and  can tell me. All I can hear is the loud buzzing coming from overhead. Since I am not a cat girl, I am safe since my curiosity is piqued and don't have to worry. Slowly I look  up and see the neon sign sitting there above me, that explains why I was being bathed in blue and yellow now.

'ASGARD - Home of the best burger'

I threw in the last part, about the best burger. You know what with the whole Minotaur thing. Okay the next one will be better, that joke sort of sputtered out in the wrong mythos. In a blink I am up and patting the dust off of me. I look  over my shoulder to my tail, "Are you ready girl?"

It answers with a thumbs up and I nod, "Let's get going."

((Thumbs up))

[Catherine]

It is interesting to walk on what I am guessing is clouds, I haven't looked over the edge yet,  which is right over there but since they are white and fluffy I am going with clouds. Definitely puts a spring in your step, especially if your foot finds a dark one. Oh jeez that came out wrong. I wasn't  trying to sound cloudist or anything. Um. Well. Okay what I meant was when you accidentally step on a storm cloud, yeah that. Your foot finds one of those and ZAP, you jump up and go YOW and then your leg goes numb. Listen I am just going to keep walking and head in that direction away from the edge and towards the large stone wall or maybe that way or this other way but definitely away from the edge since.... Edges consist of drop offs, which consists of falling, which consists of wildly pawing at the air and screaming and none of that I currently have on my bucket list. Let me check, learn how to hug a porcupine without being quilled yes but I am not seeng falling from a cloud and screaming all the way down which might lead me to accidentally swallowing a bird.


So turn, take a couple steps, look up and nod. That is all I can do with the wall I see in front of me. Gray stone of the rock variety, stacked up and up to what I can estimate is nosebleed height. I could try climbing it, spread my arms really far apart and grab a hold of the wall and just hug wall all the way up. Which by what I could see could take me a long time. Long enough for a bird to build a nest on top of my head. Then I would have to worry about eggs rolling down my shirt and that wouldn't be too eggciting. Okay you have to give me that one that was sort of okay.

I could change into something. Four paw kitten is out due to the stone. Sucker fish? Think I will pass on that, don't want to taste stone and my mom always said don't stick something in your mouth if you don't know where it has been. I don't have the faintest idea where the stone has been so no mouth to stone things. Slug, that is just ick. Octopus? Hmm.... No mouth to stone, a lot of limbs with suckers on them. Could probably make it up in no time. But there is that whole climb to the top, then back down and grab clothes then back up again. That and I would baked and octopi are slow since they refuse to go to the gym. It would be grunt slap pull followedby another and another. That and naked, no thank you. I prefer clothed climbing.

That leaves walking, I look to either side and point, "That way!" It would have been cool of something like a eagle landed on my arm. Gave me the 'what is up ' bird head sign and I of course return it with the 'not much'  head sign.

Moments later I have stone to the left and I think a drop off of immense height to the right and I am stuck right there in the middle. Middle is good, there is no screaming and no no no no no I didn't mean to do this..........

Off I go that way. Passing stone by stone and feeling pretty good. Please don't say anything or it might ruin the moment. La....la....la......

((La.. La... La..))

[Catherine]

After a while I start playing a traveling game, I spy with my little eye, since well stone wall, cloud and drop off. I spy with my little eye something that starts with 's'. How was I suppose to know that the wall was going to go on like forever, almost like it is wrapping around something. How whoever got the clouds to hold up the stone was a mystery too.  The stones were definitely stones, my knuckles can attest to that after rapping them against the stone several times. Hard as stone. Maybe this one is fake, it is off colored like things that will do something in cartoons are... RAP RAP... No stone. This one? No stone. Oh by the way the answer was 'stone'. This one with the strange thing on it that looks like a triangle with a line problem.

I rap  it once and the thing starts to glow a bright green. Immediately I think I found the light switch. An odd place to put one but I am not going to complain, maybe it is for safety purposes. Like well hmmm....... For angels who find themselves outside  the wall at night, they tap this stone and wahlah instant light.

I think a boogie monster is out here, I can hear it breathing and it really needs a breath mint too. Tap stone that has a triangle with a line problem and yay light! Ha ha boogie monster you can't get me because of the light. Turns around, pats wiggling butt while sticking tongue out.

Well that is how I imagine it. The angel doing a little dance tempting the boogie monster. Even sticking a toe right out to the edge if the light, "Do you want this? It is all clean and smells of spring fresh."

*monkey note to self - self, spring fresh? Um yes they are little angels. What do you expect, Angels to smell like clouds?

"I smell like clouds," the angel says proudly.

Sniff sniff, "um no."

"What? But I should....."

"You smell like the dryer sheet 'spring fresh'."

"But I am a little angel I should smell like clouds."

Pulls spring fresh dryer sheet from nowhere, "here smell this."

Sniff. "I guess I smell like this." Proud pose with hands to hips, "I smell like spring fresh."

See self, Angels smell like spring fresh. Oh and Angels are more agreeable if they are offered ice cream and grape soda.

"Here you go..." Slides tray over laden with ice cream and grape soda.

"What is this for?"

"Oh nothing but it would be nice if you sort of agreed that you smelled like spring fresh."

 The angel eyes the ice cream and grape soda, "but I smell like clouds"

Slides the tray closer to the angel, "Do you?"

Phpft, not the sound of an angel farting but of the grape soda opening. Oh by the way Angels can't they aren't built that way or something. Maybe it is a decree, Angels shall not fart since they have white robes and it would make them harder to clean.... With a mouth full of ice cream, "I smell like spring fresh."

"Thought so...." 

End monkey note to self *


The angel keeps dancing around shaking its booty without lifting its robe. I got to admit it, in my head an angel has moves. I mean look at it go, how it got its foot behind its head I don't know. It is like ballet meets something not ballet.  I think it even extreme twerked and didn't throw out its back.

"You want me. You want me. I know you do but you can't because of the light. Ha ha ha."

I hope nobody was watching when it smacked its bottom with its halo. All it would take is one smartphone and word would get out and we would have our next edition of 'Angels gone bad. You thought the Morningstar was wow' or 'She did what with a halo?!?'

Of course the angel doesn't know that the triangle with a line problem is on a timer. It swings around really close to the edge of the light, goes to wiggle and click! Lights out. A couple moments of eep later and one angel has learned an important lesson, stay near the light switch!

I touch the triangle with the line problem and reach into my bag. Fingers fine chalk and through some weird finger sight, finds the red chalk. Red chalk is often thought of as the color of heat, of ow that is hot. Suck finger trying to ease the burning pain. The color of chili peppers that have mustaches and wear sombreros. But it also the color of warning and I scribble something on the rock above the light switch.

'Don't wiggle butt too much. This is on a timer,' followed by a arrow down to the triangle with a line problem. I step back as the chalk spins around my finger before slipping back into my bag. If I can save one angel from a wiggle butt mistake with that message it will be worth it. I nod once, turn and walk away. Content that I might have saved an angel maybe and wondering if I could get a t-shirt made up...

'I am not afraid of anything that goes bump in the night. Okay maybe sort of I am but I know where the triangle with a line problem is.' or oh oh I got another, 'I boogie when the boogie monsters can't touch me.' Definitely have to look into getting one made, mental yellow post-a-note to self for later.

Lick. Yuck and slap. I forgot you don't have to lick post-a-notes. Anyways walking that way.

((Mental post-a-note - must post Thursday.))

[Catherine]

I walk for a while longer past a stone with a squiggle, another with a donut and possibly one that looked like a face of a cat. I stopped for a moment at that one and just looked at it, not sure why though, pulled out a piece of white chalk and drew a speech bubble above the cat face, writing only one word 'MEOW' before moving on. I didn't  have to go that far though until I reached rubble of as the really really educated might say, a stonal eruption containing a debris field.

Okay interesting, I was expecting a set of gates or something. Maybe pearly ones or even big wooden one with a face carved into it. But this well um.... I look around confused, did the designer go rogue on this part.

Ha. Ha. I designed a wall that surrounded something and has no end or beginning. I am going to throw caution to the wind and express.

Did they have to hire other designers to go after the first designer?  So it would be easier to bring the designer in due to the group thinking just like him or her. They could see signs that others would miss. 'This stone is different than the others. If you look closely they all run this way except for this one which is running at an obtuse angle. That means the designer is hungry and looking for kale, more than likely ran off in this direction.'

As I stood there imagining the hunt for the designer of rubble entrance, which I am thinking isn't handicap accessible, I hear the sound of metal on stone ringing out. Did the designer circle back around and is finishing his job, chiseling on rubble to make more rubble?

'I call this pile of rubble, [insert some fancy set of words that are in French that I can't say without hurting myself].' I nod and slowly walk around the pike of rubble like an art critic, "I see that you captured the emotion and the rage that rubble feels for not being allowed to be a boulder. The sheer denial of being what it could be but can be again. It weeks and cries at what it once was. But I think I will recommend another name, one more appropriate and fitting.... A lot of little rubble stacked up." Turning I see hooks attached to some of the bigger pieces of rubble and another one flying up and CHINGING against another one.

Alarms and whistles go off in my head, flying hooks and rubble mean only one thing. Someone is fishing! What? No.... Someone is coming up and not using the recommended way of stairs, elevators which I haven't seen yet, escalators which like the elevators I haven't seen or a ladder. Quickly I duck down behind a large piece of rubble to see who or what it is.

It doesn't take too long, well I did pop popcorn with another thingie in a stone. Just placed the popcorn package against it and pop pop popcorn. Quickly I pull out a piece of paper and draw the thingie, it will come in handy later for making popcorn. Especially at parties.

"Look at this!" I say pulling out a chisel and hammer. TAP TAP TAP TAP

"Uh what are you going?"

TAP TAP TAP "I am putting a symbol right here so I can show everyone something." TAP TAP

"But I will have to fix the wall!"

TAP TAP "Once you see this you won't worry about this." TAP TAP TAP

"But my wall!"

"Okay all done. Now I need a bag of not popped popcorn."

"I don't have any."

"Um okay I should have asked before I started to well," I motion to the walk and the dust on the floor, "do this I guess."

"You think?!?"

Right when I finished the popcorn, light butter by the way. Too much and stuff can happen.

"Mmmm...... This is really good popcorn. Here let me get that vial of dangerous chemicals for you. Whoops!" CRASH!

"Quick the raptors are coming after us. Here let me get his door open. They can't handle doorknobs everyone knows that. What? I can't! Hands slipping from too much butter on popcorn. Eek!" CHOMP! Raptor nom!

"Hey look one of those firemen's poles. I am going to give spinning around it a try." SPIN SPIN "Spinning too fast. Might not be able to hold on. Shouldn't have eaten popcorn with butter. Everything becoming a blur. Going to......" URP!!!!!!!

I see figures start to pull themselves over the edge of the cloud. Can't be, okay it can be but no way I mean look at them, film negative elves.  Big ears and everything. Okay that one part can be taken the wrong way maybe, they don't have big ears like elephants. They are more like someone took their ears and stretched them. If they had ones like elephants they would have to worry about wind gusts and everything and that would be silly.

* proud pose for one of the ideas in that last paragraph. Can I have slow moving pigeons to? Because you know..... Okay fine, I am reserving them for next time.*

I watched the film negative elves get up, brush any cloud stuff off as their white hair blew in a wind like a fashion model. One, the one with pointier ears,  said something in film negative elvish followed by pointing into the rubble zone, the other film negative elves sort of did something before running off to level the pointer eared one to grin and rub his hands together like all the villains do on tv, maybe they are using hand sanitizer, before joining others.

At that moment something  inside me told me that they smelled fishy and they were up to no good. Don't know what it was, it could have been the whole hook thing or it could have been the hand sanitizer thing at the end. Whatever it was, I knew I wasn't close to fish and I needed to find the source of the smell at no costs. Okay well I only have a couple bucks on me so well...... Okay, at that cost. Hopefully less though. Just saying because well..... Banana milkshake.

((Mmmmm banana gold))

[Catherine]

I stay low as I follow the film negative elves, so low I would win any limbo contests if I accidentally wandered into them. Don't ask me how I did it, I really don't know either. All I know is that I needed to be low and I was as low as you go. So low I think I limbo'd under an ant not really sure, it was over there somewhere. Oops I need to wait to show you, don't want to blow my cover as a nothing following you. That is right film negative elves there is nothing following you. No need to look back, carry on with what you are doing and if you want to monologue nothing at all will hear you.

My tail peeks over the stone first, giving me the coast is clear but not really since the negative film elves are right over there sign. Yeah it is a sort of specific sign that only can be used for specific situations and any other situation it would just get a 'huh' and a 'what the' and possibly a 'what did you just say about my....' When I was learning it and had to practice it, I was in an ice cream parlor and I was bored so I let when fly. It was perfect, I had my fingers bent perfectly and everything. Bend, flip and wiggle and someone caught me. They gasped and I nearly lost a finger and would have been  given  the nickname 'nine fingers'. From then on I would never had been able to count to ten anymore, forever stuck unable to count to ten with my fingers.

I peek over the rubble, even on this side there is some and strangely some have hoof prints on them. Did Santa have an accident and slam into the wall? Leaving all of the reindeer dazed and confused, their tongues hanging out hoofing at the air trying to chase the stars away. I glance down for a moment to look at a hoof print that was on the rubble I was behind, was it donner's or blitzen's? Okay yeah... I told myself because that wouldn't have been good to say it out loud at the moment. The 'oh my monkey look at this' would have drawn some negative film elf attention and I didn't want that.

The hoof print was huge, how you ask. Like this huge, I would answer. Bigger than my hand but not so big that I could lay down in it. It could be a reindeer's hoof print unless it had fat hooves. Which I wouldn't have said to its face and give it a complex. We already have Rudolph the red nosed reindeer and he is making a killing on that, we don't need Larry the fat hoofed reindeer.

'Larry with your hooves so fat. Won't you guide my sleigh tonight. Then all the other reindeer loved him and blah blah blah.'

I don't need the manual to identify the hoof prints, if they weren't deer they were obviously horse prints. How you ask? Quite easily really, I mean look at them oh and I saw that they are we wearing horse shoes, size fourteen.

 I turn back to the negative elves  and watch, every so often  one of them would raise their voice or something. Other than a that it was like watching a foreign film without the subtitles. So yeah just confusion and I doubt if they would slow down, possibly explain things while I tried to translate.

'The cow is a pastor manatee!' What?

((Hey That is the best translation I could get. If someone else knows negative elf please tell me what they said.))

[Catherine]

Okay this is confusing, they are talking and it looks like it is something important. The big one has even pulled its sword out and swinging it around. So something is up and it doesn't look like a good up. I get an urge to call out to them saying they need to speak in English and not in film negative, that they need to be considerate to those listening in and everything. I could say that I am the spirit of the rubble, that could work.

Peeking over the rubble and see the mass of weapons that well are over there, a lot with sharp pointy ends and look like they would hurt if I am poked with them, I sit back down and think. Okay these guys are elves, so they aren't attuned to rubble. That is dwarves, they love rubble and anything associated with rubble. No matter how big or small. I hear they even bath in it, how I don't know and really don't want to know.

"Hey there um..... Mr. Beard, I hear that dwarves love rubble is that correct?"

"That is right. We love them a lot."

Nervous I laugh, "I am hoping you don't..... Okay let's skip to the next question."

"Kay."

"Okay I think I will skip this next question to, because I don't want to know the answer. I really don't...." I click the pen a couple times trying to figure out a good way to move on. Hmmm...... "Are dwarves offended by Snow White, I mean it did show dwarves sort of in a positive light but the whole naming convention. You know being  an adjective, adverb or profession. I thought dwarves liked having well names that they could add to but an adjective, adverb or profession is limiting and might be offensive. You go from Leonardo Sampson Phillip Neil DelMonte, which is sort of a good name. Then you got 'Limpy'. Not so all awe inspiring if you ask me. So yeah the whole name thing."

The dwarf just stared at me blankly like a umm rock, "Don't know it is a tradition."

"Which one?"

"The long names, it is a mantel of honor."

"So how about the adjectives and  stuff. Is that a sign of dwarves accepting the twenty first century?"

"Nah, that was just a tribe of them. They whistle while they work which makes listening for gas or anything dangerous really hard."

Okay that is how that would go, if you want to listen to the recording just ask. It goes all strange when the dwarf starts to explain rocks and stuff. I motioned for someone to stop tapping but since I was the only one there I didn't listen because well I was well something.

So dwarves rubble and elves if I remember correctly are more into tress and shrubs, the first one hundred percent natural tree hugger, no additives or preservatives. Others try to imitate but don't even come close, what with their headbands and the smell of dirty socks clinging to them. That and elves are into granola.

*monkey girl definition, granola - noun but I am not accepting that. It is stuff made from little pieces of bark and other things found in the woods. Made by squirrels, they gather items in their cheeks and chew, then spit it into a bucket. Some say it is good for you and it is yummy. I just point and say, "that comes from outside!" I tried it once and that was enough. Have you gargled nature before? That is what is like, I think I had a rocks in mine but it was hard to tell.*

The imitators eat brownies, while I enjoy a good brownie. Grandpa told me the imitator's, which he called 'hippies', had special brownies. I asked him what was so special with them. Grandma  elbowed him before he could answer and shook her head, so Grandpa said they made people really happy. I nodded, brownies make me really happy so I could see why. By the pictures that I could see of the 'hippies' they were into tie dye too and holes in everything. I peek back over the rubble and look at the elves, they definitely were not into colors other than black, white and just a little bit of um blue around the eyes. Somebody really needs to help them with the blue, another color would be better, it is just so blah. Maybe  someone should have sat down with the hippies and tell them they were doing it wrong. Elves like this and you are doing this, maybe showed them a photo or two to them of elves. Do you see tie dye?

Okay maybe the spirit of the rubble won't work, the elves will of course hear me doing my spirit voice but they might just shrug. Possibly saying something in whatever they are speaking which is roughly translated as 'Eh.' There are some weeds I think, that could be good...."I am the spirit of the [insert weed name here], no natter what you do you will never get rude of me. Boooooo......... I demand you speak in a language other than the one you are speaking. Boooooo........ Just in case someone is nearby and can't understand you, not that there is. Booooooo........ Also because subtitles are always just a little off. Did you see that one movie where the subtitle said one thing and you thought everything was good and suddenly that one thing happen and you just sat there with your mouth open wondering 'Why?' As spirit of the [insert weed name here, the same as before to that is important], I am trying to cut back on the confusion. Booo..........."

I didn't say any of that of course, just thought that. To see how it sounded and if it sounded believable. Need to practice that kind of stuff, a dress rehearsal in a way. It wouldn't be good if you were spirit voicing a tribe of natives and suddenly you forgot what you were going to say.

"I am the spirit of the um...... That fire thingie up there with the lava spewing out of it. What is the word again?"

Or something like a hummingbird flys into your mouth.

"I am the spirit of the swa," *cough hack cough gag cough hack*," spirit of the swam," *cough cough hack gag cough cough hack cough*," what is up with things flying into my mouth. Grrr.... I didn't mean mouth I am the spirit of the swa," *hack cough cough gag cough hack cough cough," oh come on....."

I start to turn around to peek again, I need to decide.... Weed doesn't sound too imposing though. Spirit of dandelion, oh so scary. Spirit of poison ivy, I will make you itch all over. Leaves of three and everything. I need to know what they are saying...

Huh what? Where did they go? Well that way.

*mental point that way*

It is sort of hard to miss film negative elves, they sort of stick out. I just wanted to capture the whole moment, they weren't where they were last and that really didn't surprise me but still. It wouldn't have been as dramatic if I said, "Oh they are over there now." I need to come up with something, it looks like they are planning but what I don't know and it would be nice if I did. You know just in case, they might be lost and I can point them to the wall, "it is right there."

Time to ninja the film negative elves until I figure out what is up.

*ninja art of being sneaky with a imaginary ninja smoke bomb POOF*

Now they won't see me.



((Okay shhhhh))

[Catherine]

I followed the film negative elves for a little while, every so often stopping to spit  out whatever I just accidentally swallowed when its path crossed my path by accident. I tried to do it all stealth like, silently scrapping whatever it was off my tongue and going 'ewwwww...' Okay there was one that one time when well, fire ants burn. Like little ghost chili peppers and well.....

I was minding my own business and suddenly my tongue started to burn. Not a friendly, 'oh this is pleasant like my tongue is wrapped in a blanket' burn it was more like 'when did I dip my tongue in lava' burn. I shot up so fast there was no in-between" it was down there near the ground and the next frantically trying to get the burning to stop. Glisten even was pouring off me in seconds as I cried, 'Why???'

I didn't like it,my tongue didn't like it and I don't think you realize how much it burned. You see that bright glowing orb in the sky, no not than one but that one right there. The sun, yeah that that. Whatever the other one is I am not sure. Back to the sun, that is how much my tongue burned. It was like I had licked it, thinking it was ice cream. Why would I have done that for? It doesn't have sprinkles or isn't in a cone wrapped in a napkin so it doesn't get too messy.

What? What flavor and the name of the ice cream. Why would you ask that for? Do you like your tongue having third degree burns and talking funny? The flavor would be burn and the name of the ice cream, hmm.......  It would be called 'sun spot'. I wouldn't recommend it at all. It would be a lonely ice cream and for a reason, ow!

I stood there trying to get my tongue to stop burning, imagining a little flame at the end of it like a candle. Little fireballs flying off here and there, on top of the glisten too. That is when I felt it, the feel of film negative elves eyes on me and I froze, waved, pointed to a imaginary spot away from me and as the elves looked away quickly sunk down and back into stealth hopefully.

Laying there I hoped the elves thought I was just an illusion, a cute and adorable figment of their imagination. Long moments went by and then more long moments, nothing in the way of sword poking occurring. Slowly my tail looked up and gave me the thumbs up like tails do.

I needed to get the film negative elves to start speaking something I could understand so I didn't need to stealth so long and so close to the ground. Something less tongue burning too. But what? It isn't like I.....

*idea boink*

That might just work....

((I have an idea. Come closer and I will tell you next time.))

[Catherine]

I stayed low as I snuck past the film negative elves. Wait, what? You ask, monkey why are you passing up the elves for? Have you figured out where they are going or are you going to play scarecrow and pop up in front of them pointing in a direction hoping that that they don't use you for target practice or ignore you? I would say that last part needed a comma or two since you almost passed out when you asked me and I would answer no I don't know and no I wouldn't, I know scarecrowing is risky. "Hey there I am just a friendly scarecrow full of straw pointing you to go in that direction. Hey what are you doing with that bow and arrow? You do know that you are suppose to aim that away from people right? Right? You know you only should pull the string back if you are going to.... hey watch it!"

Not going to tell you my plan though, if I did you wouldn't have to read anymore. You would just yawn and everything, saying you saw it coming. Of course you did, you read it!

But I stayed low and snuck pass, dodging the ticks in the high grass. Some looked like they were going to jump but the power hand sign of 'I am keeping my eyes on you' at them and they just froze in mid place. Even more impressive when they froze in mid air, point two fingers at my eyes and then flip them around and point at the tick, instant frozen tick. Which is good since once a tick gets on my tail, it sits their and complains the entire time. No you shouldn't go that way, are we there yet, do you have the AC on it is freezing in here and so many more things. The ultimate back seat drivers. The last one said something about my butt being too big and was afraid of it! That one was quite annoying.... Got a pair of tweezers out, pinch it by its head and released it back into the wild with a punt.

When I got far enough ahead and was sure that the elves were coming this way I reached into my bag and got a piece of paper out, about so and so by size. Too small and it wouldn't be seen and too big and it would be a billboard, which would take me too long to write on and my mind would wander. Start with the message and about a quarter of the way through start drawing flowers and then clouds then eventually ask myself what I was doing. Also something that size would sort of stick out since I haven't seen a billboard at all. The film negative elves would just stand there scratching their heads wondering what it was, once would comment on how pretty the flowers looked of course. So piece of paper this by this.

Carefully I wrote out the message, it had to be clear and to the point. No use of strange symbols where they think they have to be dry cleaned or air dried only. To make it look official I drew a frame around the outside of everything and put some really small scribble text down at the bottom. I looked over it and nodded, this would have to work and thumbs up. I looked back real fast, to make sure the elves weren't too close since signs just appearing is sort of strange before hammering a wooden stake into the ground and then stapled the paper to it.

From a safe distance away, I sat waiting and watching as the elves walked up and read the sign.

'Speak anything but what your are speaking zone. Maybe English, yeah that would be good. So others can can understand you, not that there are others around or anything so don't worry about that.'

Oh and the scribble text, 'This sign is official because it wants to be and to make sure there is a copyright and trademark sign and those always are official.'

If this works, the next step will be blending in with the group.

*real and mental fingers crossed*

((How am I supposed to type?))

[Catherine]

I watch from a safe distance, I mentioned that right being a safe distance away. I have seen what some people do after reading signs and I don't want to be anywhere near that.

"What is this? Words? Let me read...." I am feel something coming over me, "must tear down sign and kick pick in the knees over and over." Growl Hiss Spit. "Sign reader smash!"

Yeah that, I saw a third grader read a sign at a playground. It got really ugly after that. Really ugly. I have never seen a kid rip out one of corkscrew slides with their bare hands before. After that there was a lot of screams, helicopters flying overhead and flashing lights. I am not sure how they brought an end to the rampage but it ended in devastation for miles around. So yeah safe distance, not sure his film negative elves react to signage or if they could even read it. Maybe I needed to write in some forgotten language okay not really forgotten since the elves could read it. Maybe in another language or even runes. A couple squares, a squiggle, two or three circles with other things and the elves would stand there shaking their head, 'We get this. So yeah everyone do what the sign says' or accidentally create some world ending enchantment or get looks of confusion, 'What the?'

The elves stop and read, well look like they are reading and then the big tall one with the pointy years looks around to the other film negative elves, "It looks official, so we have to do what it say."

*mental fist pump with yes!*

Since they are going to speak English now it will be easier to infiltrate their group. Before it would have been filled with shrugs, pointing at my ears and hoping they understand me when I ask 'what?' or I make something up. Grunt in something negative film elvish and I point and start well "Blah blaaah blaaaah blah blaaaah." Now it was easier, as long as my disguise was foolproof that is.

***

The film negative elves stood there right after reading the sign, that looked official, telling them they had to speak English when another film negative elf walked up from where they didn't know. It was almost like she popped up from nowhere. Hmmmmm isn't that strange?

They just stood there watching as the new elf walked up and introduced herself, "The  name is Bob, the big guy sent me. So what is the plan?"

There wasn't a hesitation before the other elves started to introduce themselves to the new film negative elf. Why wouldn't they though, she was a sister. Not sister in a biological sort of way since if a blood test was ran,  red flags would would go up. Not just on the new elf but on one or two of the others too, one was sampling gingerbread a little too much and had become addicted to it while the other... Need to look at the paperwork, give me a moment.....  Says here that he is pregnant, say what? How the? He isn't showing... It has to be wrong! Let me look again. Ah yes, it says he has a bad safe of the burps. Poor guy. Anyways sister in a big same race sort of way.

After the introductions were done the big elf stepped closer, "Sister Bob, our plan is to raid the gods weapons storage  and gather as much as possible."

"Cool...cool," the new elf shook her head, "think I ca help with that. I have two hands."

"Good," the big elf said, nodded its head just once, "Let us get going the longer we stand around the greater the chance we will be spotted."

"Don't want that," the new elf shook it head.

Quickly the film negative elves started to move the direction they were heading the new elf following behind.

((Tree huggers.... well film negative elves are sort of.... um okay what do they hug?))

[Catherine]

Where did this new film negative elf come from and will monkey have her hands full now, you ask. I mean the elf did just pop up out of nowhere, like right over there in fact. Almost like she was hiding there, hmmmm no that sounds like she was sitting there and quite possibly snuck in front of the film negative elves to maybe listen to them. Well okay....

The new elf pauses for a second, "hey guys I will catch up, I see something not interesting here and I will be right there." The other elves raise their hands or say something in the lines of okay and then keep walking. The camera follows the new elf as it drops back a little and then....

"It is me," I say as I lift up my really large but fashionable black sunglasses, "Shhh...." I look back towards the film new negative elves before I continue to talk.  "I guess I tricked them, what with the really large sunglasses and hairpins on the ears to simulate elf ears. I was thinking post-a-notes but I only had them in yellow and I really doubt those would have tricked anyone, especially if they had to cover their eyes when I walked up.

"Hey can you turn off your ears. They are sorry of blinding everyone and it looks like there is writing on one. It looks like is says, 'remember to pick up milk.' Kind of an odd tattoo to have on your ear don't you say?"

I might have been able to come up with something like um..... I was attacked by lightening bugs and well ummmm yeah. Oh oh or I can use the Rudolph excuse but say it is my ears instead of my nose. Maybe saying glowing noses are so last year and I got bored *yawn* and wanted to try something new. You know stick out in a crowd of nose glowers.

There is only one real problem with glowing ears, that is small airplanes think it is a landing strip. You learn really quick to look around when you hear the sound of jet engines. Try to find the mink jet airplane, wave your hands and start running away yelling 'no no no no.....' Really bad on the hair and don't even get me started on plane accidents, those little things are hard to get out. Engines sucking in the hair and ow ow ow ow. Not like gum at all.

Yeah the hairpins are a stretch but they seemed like they worked. What is really good if it gets windy I can take one off and use it for my hair. Maybe sweep my hair this way to hide the ear and hairpin right here. Whalah, ear hidden and hair taken care of and if they ask about why my ear is holding up my hair I will say because and keep walking.

Neat disguise huh, had you fooled like the elves. You thought I was still hidden away and some new elf had joined the group.

"Hey Bob, you coming?"

"Yeah," I answer one of the film negative elves, "I thought it was interesting but it is really uninteresting so I will be right up." I slide the glasses back down, "don't look scared, it is me remember? Got to go and see what the elves are doing. They don't look like a batch from Santa and the way their ears twitch, means they are up to something. What that something is, I am going to find out."

Quickly I run up and join the film negative elves, "Sorry it took me so long it was really interesting and everything. So what are we doing  today?"

((Hmmmm))