THE BEST THING EVER: Week 6!

[Noelle]

TBTE: Week 6
4 weeks 'til Quarters!



Whether or not you're religious, let's just look at the basics and judge based on their merits.

Jesus does some pretty awesome magic tricks. Don't even sweat walking on water and healing the shit out of people. When was the last time you went to a birthday party and saw the magician turn your lousy water into AWESOME WINE? You all could've had a better time at little Jimmy's health-themed party, that's for damn sure. And did that lousy magician get nailed to some boards by the people he was entertaining, bleed out for a few days like it's no big deal, and then get resurrected by God himself just to turn around and be like "Hey. That was pretty shitty of you. But I love you guys, have some redemption"?! I rest my case.

CONVERSELY:

You run fast. I mean, you are terrifyingly fast. You have tiny bitch-arms, but who's gonna make fun of you for it when their chance of escaping with their life is ZERO? You know in your heart that the scene in Jurassic Park where you failed to eat those kids in the kitchen was laughably untrue: You knew they were there the whole time, you just like fucking with them because fear smells suspiciously like a delicious waffle, and who doesn't love that? You are small, but you are mighty -- you actively seek out the local T-Rex to make fun of it until it cries. Thanks for being you, raptor.

Don't like this week's options? Think you could do better? Have NO idea what this thread is about? Submit new ideas for future pairings! (+ general information about the game)



LAST WEEK'S RESULTS:

It was the closest poll we've had thusfar! Despite this, the winner pulls ahead:

Honesty from others at all times: 56.3% (9)
The ability to always speak your mind: 43.8% (7)








Previous weeks:
Week 5
Week 4
Week 3
Week 2
Week 1

[Oniya]

RAGARRGHHHHHHHHH!!!

[Talia]

RAGARRGHHHHHHHHH !!!!

[Villain]

Oh dear god look what happens when you combine the two!

[Jude]

Why did I sin, whyyyy?

I'm never coming back to this site again, I've seen the light!

EDIT:  By the way, excellent writing in the OP.  Absolutely hilarious.

[Aiden]

We all seen Jurassic Park, they don't die. Jesus could have learned something from that.

[Will]

Raptor wants your vote!  RAAAAGH