It astounds me how many people think of Christmas as just another day, there's no meaning to it, no reason to be joyful and caring. But .... then again.... with the way things seem, it is like any other day. Why do families get so angry with each other about stupid things? I'm happy with my boyfriend, and my aunt sees that, she's been a b---- since she noticed. Why is it that we treat the people we love the most, the worst? Why does it have to hurt so much..... I feel like an eskimo stuck in a snow storm, desperately clinging to life through the bitter cold. Why must I always find my face streaked with tears during the holidays? Is it that people are losing the meaning behind them? Does no one see the beauty in this world any longer? Why do the people we care about use the worst things to make us feel horrible? Like failures..... burdens.... what is the world coming to?
I have to spend break in the south with my parents and brothers, I don't want to be down there around my father, but I don't want to be here either. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either way I'll be miserable. The only plus to staying here is that my baby is here..... while his words make me feel safe.... how well will it help down there?
I hate it when life begins to fall apart around me......