Topic: What happened to holiday cheer and family love?

[Doom Cookie]

It astounds me how many people think of Christmas as just another day, there's no meaning to it, no reason to be joyful and caring. But .... then again.... with the way things seem, it is like any other day. Why do families get so angry with each other about stupid things? I'm happy with my boyfriend, and my aunt sees that, she's been a b---- since she noticed. Why is it that we treat the people we love the most, the worst? Why does it have to hurt so much..... I feel like an eskimo stuck in a snow storm, desperately clinging to life through the bitter cold. Why must I always find my face streaked with tears during the holidays? Is it that people are losing the meaning behind them? Does no one see the beauty in this world any longer? Why do the people we care about use the worst things to make us feel horrible? Like failures..... burdens.... what is the world coming to?

I have to spend break in the south with my parents and brothers, I don't want to be down there around my father, but I don't want to be here either. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either way I'll be miserable. The only plus to staying here is that my baby is here..... while his words make me feel safe.... how well will it help down there?

I hate it when life begins to fall apart around me......

[Oniya]

It's not exactly that they think it's 'just another day'.  It's that they think of it as a day that they are obligated to spend with family.  Typically, you're seeing people you don't spend much time with, and so all the little things they haven't noticed about you are suddenly there to focus on - and since you don't see them often, it becomes the natural thing to talk about - for better or worse.

See if there's something nearby that is soothing or peaceful.  Go drive around and look at Christmas lights - walk in the snow if you're lucky enough to have some - walk under the stars if you're not.  Find something beautiful for yourself and share it with people you think will appreciate it.

[ShrowdedPoet]

Really, who made the holidays more than just another day?  Some people don't celebrate the holidays. . .or they don't celebrate the same ones as main stream.  Some people are forced to work them to make it.  Life keeps getting harder and harder and survival wins over spending a little quality time with family.  The world doesn't stop for the holidays.  The banks might, which is always a pain, and some businesses. . .but mostly things keep going on as usual.

I'm sorry your family upsets you so.  Just don't let it get you down. 

[Doom Cookie]

I'm trying as best I can, but the more I let what they say roll off my shoulders the worse they get. I'd honestly rather be anywhere else at this point. I moved out at seventeen for a reason, I come back for christmas and christmas alone. I haven't seen my parents or brothers in a year, and it took my father less than a day to show that he's no different then he was before I left; even though my mother claims he's different when I'm gone. I've spoke with her about this already and it seems that I am in fact the reason for his behavior. I have MS and my father was kind enough to scream in my face that I have it because God is punishing me. And that's the nicest thing he's said since I got off the plane. And they wonder why I already want to go home?

That is a wonderful idea Oniya. I will give it a try tonight after church. I need to get away, and it seems that they will not be allowing me to leave the house to go anywhere, go figure.I'm an adult and I'm still being told what yo do by my parents. Is that normal? Is there any chance of it ending?

[NotoriusBEN]

I do not know your whole story, but I will give you an objective assessment from what has been said already.

I have not had a rough family life as you have, so I cannot compare past experiences, but I'd like to say that your father is NOT someone you should be spending time with. The creep says that god punished you for a condition you have? He DOES NOT deserve your time or committment even at Christmas. NO ONE deserves to be treated as such.

You have proven yourself a better person through your actions and caring with your boyfriend and kid.

Next year, invite the family that you get along with to your house, or let your mother know that if "He" is there "You" will not be, and let them know the reason why. You do not need to give everyone the cold shoulder, nothing says that you cannot give your family phonecalls or Christmas Cards for the holidays. Maybe you could even start spending Christmas with your boyfriend's family.

I wish you all the luck in the world to perservere, for you are one of those that make it special.