Wow...you're making me weak in the knees, for sure!
I have a confession to make: I only started learning how to play chess within the past few weeks. I've never won a game, either in real life or on the computer, but at least I know enough to avoid all the "uh, no" pitfalls. You are "in like Flynn" as far as I'm concerned! What are your ONS and OFFS?
Male x female, female x female
Shower scenes (meaning with soap and water, not human waste)
Exotic creatures (aliens, ghosts, supernatural, gods/goddesses)
Light bondage (leather, being tied up, light spanking, submission)
Coprophilia/urolagnia (human waste play, also known as "water sports")
Incest/child's play/adult diapers and such
Anal sex (ow, plus...poop is smelly and disgusting anyway)
Too many toys/foreign objects in private places
So far, you make me want to eat a bunch of chocolate (which I'm doing) to get my mouth watering even more than it already is!