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Author Topic: The News From The Bible Belt  (Read 692 times)

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Offline MuseTopic starter

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The News From The Bible Belt
« on: May 08, 2009, 11:27:04 PM »
I would like to share some news from my home with you. 

While i'm at it, i would like to ask your prayers, if your the prayin' sort, to whatever divinity you normaly corespond with--or Bachus if you don't have a regular--for a small triumph of human reason here in the bible belt. 

At the dawn of the new milenium, the Southern Baptist Convention not only passed a resolution renouncing, but apologising for slavery (some 140 years after tall, brave man in the White House took a bullet to seal in the hearts of my countrymen once and for all that the price of repeating that bloody brother against brother war was too high a price to ever risk paying again, but good people would pay it, again and again, as long as Jim Crowe lived). 

Now, on Saturday May 8th, 2009, in a small city of 200,000 people and about as many churches in the Texas Panhandle, voters prepare to go the polls to fight another small battle against human stupidity.  This time, the stakes are not as high, but the stupidity is almost as great.  This time, the rational people of Lubbock, Texas, will square off in the polls against the irational to announce to the ages, "We cry bullshit, Mr. Welsh.  The Pope may or may not be God's voice on earth, but you sure as Hell are not.  We defy you from 90 years into the future and by our votes deny your lie that Jesus of Nazerath drank Welch's Grape Juice on Passover the night before his aresst, trial, and coming crusafiction.  The son of God enjoyed a good wine enough to work his first miracle changing water into wine, and what is good enough for the son of God is good enough to be sold inside our city limits! 

Offline Draconus Umaki

Re: The News From The Bible Belt
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2009, 11:43:03 PM »
(Interesting story line you have here. I believe we should get started with something, we should converse about character concepts)

Offline MuseTopic starter

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Re: The News From The Bible Belt
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2009, 11:54:28 PM »
(Wrong thread for that, man, PM me.) 

Offline MercyfulFate

Re: The News From The Bible Belt
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2009, 12:05:13 AM »
Wait, this is confusing. Someone's saying jesus drank Welch's Grape Juice?

Offline Sabby

Re: The News From The Bible Belt
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2009, 02:04:42 AM »
I think its a vote for or against certain alcohol laws thats ruffling a lot of feathers.

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Re: The News From The Bible Belt
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2009, 07:17:10 AM »
hehehehe. 

Apologies for my prose. 

Sabat is correct, here in Lubbock, the largest 'dry' city in the US we're voting on whether or not to end that status today.  (The liquor merchants who own 'The Strip' just outside of city limits are none too happy with the idea.) 

Merciful Fate, what Mr. Welch wrote back at the beginning of prohibition--supported by neither historical evidence nor context of the bible, but that the world wanted to heear at the time--was closer to, "The wine served at the last supper was 'new wine, wine that had not had time to ferment and develop any alcholholic content hatsoveer.  Like Welch's Grape juice."  And for this 'P.T.Barnum Act 'Welch's Grape Juice has been the drunk by at least one major protestant branch exculsivly ever since. 

Offline Oniya

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Re: The News From The Bible Belt
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2009, 09:51:29 AM »
Until Louis Pasteur developed pasteurization, there was no such thing as 'grape juice' that could be stored for any appreciable period.  Grape skins produce a natural yeast that starts the fermentation process without any intervention.  (Raisins can be used to 'seed' a non-wine ferment to stack the deck against a wild yeast getting in.)

Grape harvesting in Cyprus (as geographically close as I can find data to the Holy Land) can start as early as July and Northern Hemisphere harvests in general go through early October.  Passover is in March/April.  The grapes wouldn't be ripe enough (or even present) to be picked and crushed close enough to avoid fermentation.

Not that any of the Bible-Belters will see or read this information, but it is my invocation to the 'Princess of Pure Reason'.  I'll make my invocation to Bacchus when the kidling isn't around. ;)