I would like to apologize for the delay in this post, as I promised I would write one every Saturday and I was late. I would like to apologize for not putting up a vote on Monday for my next topic. And I would like to apologize to those writers who are waiting for me to post in our games.
Also I would like to keep my loyal readers informed that next time I will try to put up another vote for another topic on which my opinion is requested on. So keep the comments going.
Now back to the topic at hand, my series of apologies and the things that led to them. This blog could just as well be called "On Dingo (Part 2)" as it is also closely linked to myself.
A little bit about myself that I haven't shared in my first blog. About a year ago my emotional barriers went down, my disappearance from the site (as mentioned in the first blog) is related to that, and I entered the first full blown depression of many in a year's time. I had been feeling down before that on several occasions, but that was the turning point, my downs became deeper, and turned into full blown depressions.
So I went and sought professional help. The diagnosis of that help, including second opinion Asperger's Syndrome. Many people don't have it, and there aren't any official gradations of bad in it, but the diagnosis gave me something that opened my eyes.
From my earliest childhood I have been walking in and out of physician's, psychologist's and even alternate medicine offices for a plethora of complaints most of the physical. I have never received any diagnose until about half a year ago, but I've been in those offices for suspected ADHD, ADD, Hypochondria, Fybromialgia. The only things that came out of all those visits was that I was very intelligent, and very stressed. And considering that I heard that conclusion roughly twice a year ever year of my life. Each time in the hospital with the same complaints. Tired, down, a painful body, bad sleeping, headaches for as long as I can remember, and my memories go back to about three years old. And never ever a diagnosis. Until recently. Until half a year ago. Asperger Syndrome, or short AS.
But all those things I already knew, so nothing new there. Those things wouldn't change myself and I even knowing I would probably stay the same person, although I could learn how to avoid the things that cause my body to shut down. And that's stress from doing too little and doing too much and there's very little that I can do about that, because that's in my nature, but I can inform people, and only hope they take my weird behavior into consideration.
The reason that I am so depressed is because a year ago I fell in love. The depression started when that love turned nasty, but it wasn't because of that it started. It was because for the first time in my thirty years of life I realized something. Even though I experienced love before I never realized how important it was.
I'm going to end this first part of my blog with my realization.
Love is my only reason to keep living.