(LF Any) Broken and Lost (Emotional Stories & Depraved Smut)

[The Mayfields]

Trigger Warning: Addiction | Suicide | Depression
Status: Actively Looking
Hello there, welcome to my Request Thread! There are many out there, and a few of them are mine own abandoned ones, but this one is mine! Let's get into some basics about this thread, what/who I'm looking for, and then we will get into the meat and potatoes!

TL;DR

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• There will be realistic themes and characters within my stories from now on. I will not be playing easy, no issues, and no problems characters anymore!
• Realistic themes include, but are not limited to, Mental Health Problems(Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Anxiety, etc.), Addiction & Drug Usage, Criminal Activity, Arguing between our characters, and more
• Despite that previous bullet, I will not be playing characters that could be described as, abusive, rapists, misogynistic, sexist, racist, etc.
• Story & Smut will go hand-in-hand and will be prevalent in my stories
• I lean towards modern scenes, open-minded to post-apocalyptic and modern-fantasy, and negotiable with Sci-Fi and Medieval scenes!
• Regarding smut scenes, I am only interested in feminine characters only. Masculine characters may be in the story, and can be a main character, but there will be no smut between my characters and those masculine characters!
• Taboo themes I enjoy but are not required are: Incest, Adultery, Age Differences, Orientation Play, and Sex-Work
• These characters you are about to read over will have many dark chapters in their lives, but I am only interested in happy endings. Our characters will fight, will bash heads, and may break-up during the story, but the end goal is always love and romance
• Finally, while I may play these sad & dark characters or stories, I do not romanticize them. I do not think being depressed is attractive, I as a writer just want to write real stories with deep meanings. If you are feeling any of the feelings depicted, please, ask for help.
• National Prevention Hotline(US): 800-273-8255

Characters

Paul Gooden

References

^{Father - Ex-Convict - Alcoholic - Hopeful}
Age: 46 (40-55)
Gender: Male

Paul's eyes filled with humility as his ex-wifes voice fills the phone
"Are you fucking crazy, Paul? You can't come see us! Are you- what do you think, you get out of prison and all is forgiven? You fucking killed someone Paul! I don't care if you got out on 'good behavior' you fucking loser! You're still a sorry, no good, sack of-"

...

Paul hung-up before she could finish that sentence. His thick fingers grip the shitty Walmart 'smart'phone. Paul had spent three weeks working a deadbeat job trying to get it, then another four days to find out how to use it, get Facebook, figure out how to use Facebook, and then track his wife down. One Facebook audio call later, and he was back to square one. Alone, no family, living out of his van, and the urge to drown his sorrows at the Neon Cathedral. Tears fill his eyes as he mutters some words, feeling his throat dry, begging to be quenched...

But he held his resolve, he just needed to show her he was worthy of redemption.

Growing Up

No one is born a convict, your choices ten years ago influence your choices today.

Paul grew up in two homes, a child conceived out of wedlock, but by the time he was born his parents had married, for his sake. By the time he reached consciousness, around 3-4 years old, Paul’s parents separated in an ugly divorce. His father became an abusive alcoholic, and his mother became a sex worker at night and waitress during the day. Paul soon resented them both, vowing to never be the same as them. He promised himself he would marry the woman of his dreams once, and have three kids, and be a wonderful father.

Promise Broken

By the age of 25, Paul had a daughter and a drinking problem. He married his baby mother and things seemed okay. Paul tried to clean himself up, but within a few months after the wedding he began drinking again. Long nights turned into disappearing for days, until the drinking separated the two quickly, and they divorced before his daughter was out of diapers.

When his daughter turned 10, she had already experienced a step-mother, but Paul divorced with her as well. He tried going sober many times, but always failed. He shared custody of his daughter, getting her every other weekend, but his apartments, as he was always being kicked out, were always a mess, and he usually was passed out on the couch most of the time.

On her eleventh birthday, Paul being 36 now, Paul got arrested for drinking and driving, and assaulting his (first)ex-wifes husband, his daughters step-father, Roy, who had been beating his ex-wife and hit his daughter. Paul was arrested and sentenced to 11 years when Roy died a few days later from the head trauma Paul gave him.

Paul Today

Paul got out a year early from his sentence, just having to serve parole for the rest of his sentence, and having a conviction of manslaughter on his record. 46 years old with only blue-collar skills, Paul reaffirmed a new vow, a new promise, to turn his life around.

So, will you help him on his road to redemption?

Road to Redemption (Possible Pairings)

Paul x Co-worker
Paul x Boss
Paul x Bosses Wife
Paul x Sex Worker
Paul x Daughter
Paul x Ex-Wife
Paul x Stranger

Isabella Lockwood

References

^{Streamer - Addict - Depressive - Cutie}

Age: 19 (18-22)Gender: Transgender (MtF)

xxtoelover69 Donated $4.20"Hey BellaWood, I've been subscribed to your OnlyFans for three months now, whens the toe pics?! Love the content by the way, you'll get out of bronze soon!

Bella's eyes shift over to the screen beside her- and she shakes her head with a small smile.
"Hey toelover, I saw your thirty messages, I think I get the hint..." She laughs softly, a real, honest laugh as she rubs her cheeks while she thinks. "...Look- If we get one grand tonight, I'll post a set tomorrow, deal?"
Bella writes up a donation bar, and sets the goal to one-grand.

It was hit within an hour. Isabella donated the money to the suicide hotline that night, and then DM'd toelover to figure out his favorite nail color.

Where does that smile go?

When the stream ends, that smile fades.

Was it a facade? Is BellaWood a character Isabella played? Some days, it felt like it. Some days she couldn't get out of her bed, let alone smile to the camera.

Could you blame her?

Isabella couldn't remember the last time she was genuinely happy without some outside source. Her usual source was pills, but she's been trying to be on the straight and narrow. Then it would the use of cannabis to simply dull her sadness away. Streaming brought her, this sense of self-worth and happiness. She didn't have many friends, her drug-abuse pushed most of them away. Her parents were very... gentle, with her, afraid to tip her off into the deep end. She didn't have people to socialize with, besides the thousands of people tuning in to see her smile. Her fans always think she's smiling for them, but really, she was smiling because of them. Her whole life, Isabella just wanted to be accepted, to be appreciated, and loved. Twitch Chat made her feel like that.

She is a beauty, though, and soon donations began to flood in asking about an instagram- so she made one. Then, a twitter to shitpost on, then a TikTok... Then, she was asked to make an OnlyFans. How could she say no? Her fans were doing so much to make her happy- if they wanted to see some lewd photos of her, that was a fair trade in her eyes.

Why was Isabella so sad? Why was she desperate for attention, for some sort of semblance of friendship, or love?

_{TW;DR: Her uncle abused her as a child.}

TW: Dark Themes of Abuse and Suicide within

When Isabella was 12, her Uncle finally died in a car crash. Isabella was injured in it, but wasn't critically injured. She had grabbed the wheel as her Uncle drove along a backroad, and made that shitbox Toyota Camry drive into a ditch.

Why would she do that? Why would she do something so blatantly dangerous, risking her life? Because she wanted to die, and her Uncle to die. Isabella's Uncle had been molesting Isabella since she was 6, causing serious trauma to the young girl. Her Uncle was her favorite person in the world, and he took advantage of that. He used to make Isabella feel like she was a beautiful Princess, then... Isabella felt like a walking vessel, and empty body, her soul was already dead, why not just, have her body follow? So she saw the opportunity one night on the way home from her Uncle's cabin, she had been planning it for two weeks now. She reached out, grabbing that wheel and sending them off the road, and into a ditch ten feet below the road. Just like she had planned, had dreamed.

When she awoke in the hospital bed, she still felt... Empty. But, she looked at the way her parents looked down at her- and she knew, she had to live. She didn't want to for herself, but only for her mother. She never told her parents what her Uncle did, she let them cherish his memory, she didn't want to ruin it for them. She began to go see a therapist, taking anti-depressants, and began to sate her feelings with pills.

Then why smile at all?

So was her smile fake? Was she just faking it for money? When first starting the stream, for the first five minutes, the smile was fake. But when that first message in chat appears, that first 'KEKW'? It stopped being fake.

Being an e-girl? Totally fake, she sucked at video games, but was getting better. She's started to watch some anime, but has only delved into the big three, which in her opinion is DBZ, Naruto, and Bleach.

So why does she fake it? Attention. Most of her money goes to marijuana, and back into her stream. Anything she doesn't use, she donates to addiction charities. She lives in a small studio apartment, one corner of it was decorated girlie, lit up well, and clean. The rest, was dirty. Her bed was simply a mattress on the ground, sheets usually messed up, blanket thrown aside, and pillows tossed around. Laundry sits in her hamper, whether clean or dirty, she simply sniff tested it usually. Not that she didn't wash her clothes- it was the folding and putting away she couldn't muster the energy to do. Dishes usually in the sink, not piled up, but barely taken care of. Leftover Chinese on the counter, Starbucks cups half-drank, and mail piled up on her counter.

It's been a month since her last rock bottom, and a week since she's been out of rehab. Now what?

So the final question is... Will you be the light for her?

Glimpses of the Light (Possible Pairings)

Isabella x Neighbor
Isabella x Landlord
Isabella x Dealer
Isabella x Aunt
Isabella x Mother
Isabella x Siblings
Isabella x Fan
Isabella x Fellow Creator
Isabella x Stranger
Isabella x Best Friend
Isabella x Best Friend's Girlfriend

Storyline Sample/Craved Idea (TW: Suicide, Depression, Drug Usage)

Isabella got back from Rehab three days ago, and spent a lot of her time in her room streaming, when she wasn't streaming she generally avoided going into public areas in the home, she avoided eating dinner till her mother had plastic wrapped her plate, and she ate it later when no one was awake. She got back on a Friday, and it's now Sunday night, and she has to go back to school.

Isabella went to Rehab, after a long stint of drug abuse stemming from her deep depression. Her mother made the mistake of trusting Bella with her entire prescription bottle, and Bella was found in the bath tub overdosed. She was actually found by her Aunt, who brought her to the hospital to get her stomach pumped while Isabella's mother slept. She woke up to her Aunt's face, the wife of the man she killed, and her mothers sister. That same face was the reason she wanted to take her own life- she couldn't handle seeing her Aunt's sad face. It reminded her of her own.

Her Aunt had lost her job due to her own depression of losing her dear husband, which then caused her to lose their home. Without children (as her husband never really fucked her- cause he was gay, something she didn't know.) to lean on, she had to lean on her older sister. She moved in at the beginning of summer, and by mid-October Isabella had enough and was in the tub chugging from an orange bottle. It wasn't entirely her Aunt's fault, well it wasn't hers at all, but the added stress of being held back a year due to poor grades, making her a Sophomore at the age of 16, and will be 17, and her lack of social life in school lead to her downfall. Her stream got banned for two weeks for DMCA claims against her, and after a week of being banned, months of seeing her Aunt's face everyday, PTSD hit her like a truck, and she just needed it to stop.

She left a note for her family, the handwriting was wobbly, tear marks stained the sides of the paper, she was clearly sobbing as she wrote it.

The Note

'How... How do I begin this note?

I can't take it anymore. I've kept this pain bottled in enough, I haven't even told my therapist about everything. Sure, you guys know someone abused me when I was younger, but I never told you who. So we moved away, to a new school, new town, and new life. But my past trauma still haunts me. I still see his face, every-time I close my eyes. I hear his voice in the wind, or behind my back in a dark room.

I see Uncle Jerry's face.

I love you, Auntie, but I can't see you in pain anymore. I can't handle it, as you grieve for the man that makes me so void inside. His life made me empty, but made you whole. I do not resent you for it, but I cannot bare to imagine this man brought anyone happiness.

I love you, Mom, but I can't be perfect, I'm not as smart as you.

I love you, Dad, but I know the way you look at me- like as if your son betrayed you. I know you envisioned watching me play football, but. That's not who I am.

I'm not sure who I even am, I am no one, I am just this pain. And I need it to stop.'

Her Aunt was the one that found her, and the note. Did Auntie share the note with her sister and brother-in-law? If she did, did she share it all?
 
We begin Sunday night, her Aunt her downstairs eating dinner, softly crying. The next day, Bella goes to school, the only highlight of that being her Art Teacher spending lunch with her, as the two paint and eat together, as Bella listens to the married womans life that had gone by in the month Bella was gone, it's going to be Thanksgiving in four days after all, what a lovely time for family. Her teacher knew Bella was suffering and tried to be a companion to her, but is sad when she heard the news from Bella's parents' e-mail to the school, saying the Bella is going to be in rehab after an overdose.

On her way home that day, kicking rocks down the sidewalk, her lovely neighbor stops her before she can enter her home, and asks her to stay for some tea.

Slowly, Bella begins to realize she is cared for, and loved by many, many women. Some relationships may be slow-burn, the two women beginning to slowly become close, loving partners, and some may be much faster. Bella is generally open to either, she just... Wants companionship. She's happy to sit on the couch for hours with someone, or lewd for hours. As long as she's with someone.

Possible Characters: Neighbor, Art Teacher, Therapist, Best Friend, Aunt, Mother, or anything you can think of!

If you've enjoyed my characters, feel free to shoot me a message with an idea, pairing, or just simply saying Bella is super cute, but sad! Hope to write soon!

[The Mayfields]

Adjusted references, and order of characters.