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Author Topic: Advice for new transmasculine person  (Read 1254 times)

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Offline Rook SeidhrTopic starter

Advice for new transmasculine person
« on: November 05, 2018, 04:18:01 PM »
Staff suggested that I should post this thread here, because info will be relayed to a non-member. Contact info will not be shared.

I just found out that a friend of mine has come out as a transman. He's pretty big up top. He'd appreciate any tips on performative masculinity that other transmen could share.

EDIT: Clothing tips are relatively easy to come by. He wants advice on performative masculinity, i.e., acting male.
« Last Edit: November 05, 2018, 08:20:49 PM by Rook Seidhr »

Offline zosa

Re: Advice for new transmasculine person
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2018, 06:42:04 PM »
well, generally i am asked about transwomen's business but the wash is the same even if the details are different XD

the first thing i suggest is to invest in a properly fitted binder to hide the majority of the chest, if he is a bigger guy then putting more emphasis on the tummy would help as a bit of cleavage on a big guy is ignored more easily and passes better, if he's a smaller guy then a soft thin towel wrapped around the waist and held together with either bulldog clips or ginger snap buttons to bulk it out works too though it isn't great if he does a lot of bending or lives in a warm place. the goal is to create a tube shape that goes up and down from sternum to hip.

the second thing is to invest in clothing that accommodates the silhouette he's trying to mimic but one size up from his actual size to make up for the added bulk and to hide any slip-ups in public(accidents do happen afterall). better a little loose and not as attractive than fitting but a risk for a wardrobe malfunction, you know?

Offline Bly

Re: Advice for new transmasculine person
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2018, 09:33:55 PM »
Tips about masculine demeanor and posture from a transman:

- Avoid unnecessary arm movements, particularly when you talk. Make eye contact, but not over ten seconds, as it'll often be seen as aggressive.
- Do not sway your hips when you walk. This is hard to catch, because of your center of gravity, but a mirror and a watchful glance will help you spot when you do this if you look enough. Once you learn how to spot it, it's easy to stop doing.
- Do not overdo it hiding your chest. You have the clothing options needed to deal with this, presumably. Ironically, the more attention you pay to this and the more you try to hide it with your posture, the more you are likely to accidentally bring outside attention to it. Hunching your shoulders will probably suffice if you have a good binder on hand already.
- Strides when walking should be a bit longer than usual. Try to come down on your heel more than your toe for your footing.
- When standing & at rest, a slightly wider posture is good.
- When talking, conciseness and brevity are often perceived as more masculine. You may or may not be insecure of your voice, but either way, don't shy away from volume as needed. A forward confident tone with good volume is ideal.
- When sitting, avoid crossing your legs. Or if you must, cross them at a right angle around the knee.
- When speaking, be careful about the inflection in your voice. Higher inflections towards the end of sentences will 'register' as more feminine more often than not for some reason.
- Don't overdo it; too much exaggeration will make you come off more like a strange parody rather than the masculine expression you wish to put forward.

I hope some of this helps; not sure if it will, but I wanted to post.

(Note: None of these are meant to be universal or indicative of all men everywhere, of course--guys vary and can be quite different from fella to fella. But this is the sort of thing I talk to my therapist about when it comes to passing.)
« Last Edit: November 05, 2018, 09:35:30 PM by Blythe »