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Author Topic: Bad TV! -- 'Finding Bigfoot' (season 1, episode 1)  (Read 1343 times)

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Offline NiferbelleTopic starter

Bad TV! -- 'Finding Bigfoot' (season 1, episode 1)
« on: April 16, 2017, 09:03:10 PM »
Hello, my name is Niferbelle and I’ve been a TV addict for *mumble* years. The most telling picture of my childhood is five year old me in a flannel nightgown sitting in front of the TV with a brown sugar cinnamon Pop-Tart in my hand. Clearly I started young. Even as an adult a sleep with the TV in which leads to some pretty interesting dreams. I will argue that TV is no longer the wasteland it used to be – given the original programming on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, etc., as well as network and cable programming there are always some amazing shows on whatever the time of the year. But we’re not going to talk about those. Oh no. We’re going to talk about the BAD.

Perhaps I am alone in this peculiarity, but every once in a while I find myself watching a show that I know to be bad. Ridiculous. Awful. Just -plain wrong. Not just any bad show however. Most bad shows I don’t watch because they’re, well, bad, but every now and then I will find a bad show that fascinates me to the point I find myself frequently tuning in. A good example of this is the now deceased Nancy Grace Show. Rotten, horrible, terrible show. But most every wee early morning around 1 A.M. I would find myself tuning in to the recast. I found myself watching it as if it were performance art. It was so audaciously bad I was suspended in a constant state of wonder when I viewed it that somebody was actually putting this rancid crap on the air night after night. I found myself wondering about the people who agreed to appear on the show. Why the hell would you do that? I imagine what it must have been like to deal with crazy Nancy Grace in court when she was a practicing lawyer. Good lord. Think about sitting on a jury and having no recourse but to listen to every single word that came out of her mouth. Well, Nancy may be off the air now but there are still shows out there that are morbidly engaging and we’re going to talk about them. Don’t worry if it’s something you’ve never seen. I’m going to fill you in and get to the brass tacks of things. Without further ado, let’s get started.
« Last Edit: April 26, 2017, 10:57:46 PM by Niferbelle »

Offline NiferbelleTopic starter

Re: Bad TV!
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2017, 09:11:42 PM »
Finding Bigfoot – Season 1, episode 1 – Bigfoot Crossing in Georgia

Part 1

So let’s pretend we’re watching this show again for the first time. We’re looking through the trusty guide and come across ‘Finding Bigfoot’. “What’s this?” you ask, followed by “Is this a comedy?, “Why is this on Animal Planet?”, and “Why do they only show Big Cat Diary and Orangutan Island and 5:00 in the morning and this crap is on prime time?”. Nonetheless, there’s nothing else on and you haven’t seen it before so you pick up the remote and descend into madness.

We are told the BFRO (Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization) are going to northern Georgia where people really know their bigfoots. I find myself wishing they had called it the Aboriginal Ape Field Researchers Organization so we could all call it AAFRO. I decide this is how I’m going to refer to it from now on because the image of all these guys wearing afros makes me smile. AAFRO we are told was started by Matt Moneymaker. Yes, that’s right. No, it’s his real name. Other interesting facts about Matt are that he studied copyright law and though he got his degree, chose not to be a lawyer and worked for the Navy futzing around on the internet. That’s right, the guy who fails to find bigfoot week after week has a security clearance. Oh, wait, I shouldn’t have spoiled that in case there are any of you out there who actually think they’re going to see a sasquatch. Bless your little hearts.

We are promised footage of a bigfoot and shocking new eyewitness accounts. We get our first look at our angel Ranae laying it down. We hear more folks with AAFROS are going to show up and that they’re going to determine once and for all if bigfoot exists in northern Georgia. Then we get job descriptions for the Big 4. We have Matt, our Founder. Cliff, our Evidence Analyst. Oh Lordie. Then Bobo, our Expert Field Caller? That’s a thing? And finally our angel Ranae, our Field Biologist, whose low billing is indicative of far deeper issues we will explore later. Still hoping this may be a comedy, like one of those fantastic Christopher Guest joints, I press on. 

An SUV glides down a rural highway and our big 4 are all crammed in. Matt narrates why northern Georgia is prime bigfoot company. Farms, the Chattahoochee National Forest, Native American petroglyphs, centuries of documented encounters…hold on a minute. I hate to  interrupt already but I think it’s necessary to pause here and really think about what the Moneymaker just did. Let’s start with the petroglyphs. We see a rock and they helpfully highlight a figure for us by fading out a little circle over the one in question. To me, it doesn’t even look humanoid but perhaps that’s just bad lighting. At any rate, Matt tells us these are depictions of Native Americans interacting with bigfoots. Not Native Americans interacting with something that could resemble a bigfoot or that some people interpret as being a bigfoot. And of course we don’t hear any other opinions on what these mysterious figures might be, no, we are in Matt’s World and in Matt’s World, those Native Americans ARE frolicking with bigfoots. This is presented as fact. Equally as suspect are these ‘centuries of documented encounters’. Documented how? And by whom? What is the context? We’re just told they exist and are supposed to take it as read. I say all this because it’s important to know what passes for ‘evidence’ in Matt’s World. I don’t know why I got my panties all up in bunch though. We all know that nobody ever depicts or tells a story about something that doesn’t exist.

The team, as it turns out, is primarily there to investigate some footage taken from the dash cam of a state trooper. We are then shown said footage. “What was that?!” an individual exclaims and I am left asking the same question. Actually my first question was just ‘what?’ because I had to rewind and watch it twice just to see the shape that moves across the road. When I finally do say ‘What was that?!” it is in a far different context. The woman in the car sounds like she’s commenting on a squirrel that just scampered across her deck and not a 600 pound giant ape man. Be that as it may, Matt pontificates sagely that this is a ‘classic road crossing sighting at night’. I snicker. What makes this unique is that it’s from a law enforcement camera. Matt then comments that the police ‘did nothing about it’. That’s not true. I’m sure they showed it countless times around the office to embarrass the trooper that was startled. We see that Matt’s the leader because he sensibly points out things like ‘no laws were broken’.

It’s Cliff’s turn to weigh in. Cliff, who is also a jazz guitarist by the way, claims he can count that the alleged bigfoot got across the road in three steps. He’s watching the video on a tablet with Bobo. Yes Bobo. Sigh. Cliff, we will eventually come to learn, is a bit like his namesake Cliff Clavin but for now he merely says they have to go to the location and test it out first but that he’s pretty sure it’s a bigfoot. Uh, confirmation bias much?

At last the heavenly chorus sounds and our angel Renae is the first to point out hoax, guy in a suit, but she’s going along anyway to actually get a sense of scale and try to prove it one way or another. Oh Ranae, your wisdom falls on deaf ears. You all may notice my tone changes a bit when I speak of our angel Ranae and I feel I must confess my girl crush. She is an actual scientist and conducts herself that way. How can that not be sexy? I can’t help it if skepticism gets me hot. Also she’s mixed up with all this because when she was a kid her father used to take her out ‘squatchin’ in South Dakota. How sweet is that? Besides, she’s the only person on this show who isn’t batshit crazy.

Bobo, born James Fay, points out the thing’s gliding gait and admits they really can’t tell if it’s a bigfoot or a guy in a suit. Bobo is Cliff’s buddy who used to look for bigfoots with him before the show started. And he’s just like that too, everybody’s buddy, kind of a lumbering good-natured guy who’s just hangin’ out with his friends and chasin’ a dream. The SUV pulls up into somebody’s yard where’s there a woman standing. Her name is Mary Scott. She was the passenger in the car who was mildly interested in the squirrel. Mary shows them the spot on the road where the mysterious figure crossed. She says there wasn’t another car on the road. In the background of the film you can see two sets of headlights. To be fair, they were pretty far away. It turns out the trooper spun the car around, got out, and went after poor squatchie with a gun but the creature was nowhere to be seen. She tells us that the only animals that cross the road are deer and black bears. While she’s speaking they show a recreation of the crossing in which a barely visible relatively humanoid figure is turned into an obvious effect of an ape with long legs in close-up. Oy.

Various comments are made by the team, mostly Matt actually, and it’s decided a live recreation is key. Cliff puts a tape measure to use while Matt sits. Bobo will get his chance to fulfill his primary purpose as a stand in bigfoot while a sedan barrels down the road at him at 55 miles an hour. Good times. They wait until dark. Ranae is driving. Matt is monitoring i.e. sitting in the passenger seat with the radio. Cliff will be telling Bobo when to run. It goes off without a hitch. Afterward Matt tells us that when they view it side to side we’re going to see it’s less likely that it was a guy in a costume. Why even watch it then, Matt?

To be continued...

Offline NiferbelleTopic starter

Re: Bad TV! -- 'Finding Bigfoot'
« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2017, 11:46:46 PM »
Part 2

The analysis is gripping and full of cogent detail as ridiculous as you would expect. They pretend to say they can’t be 100% sure but point out it was likely a sasquatch because of its ‘gliding gate’ and then Matt wanders off into his world again and we are forced to follow. Bigfoots, he tells us, are proportioned differently, longer arms, shorter legs than a human. This is illustrated by a hand drawn picture of a bigfoot with little arrows alongside the body. He tells us this as of it is actual scientific, documented fact and not something he just made up. Blah-de-blah clearly the figure was seven feet tall…bleh. Our angel Ranae points out that the question isn’t whether it was a sasquatch but whether it could be recreated and clearly it can. Bobo weighs in and thinks it was a squatch too. Color me surprised. Now Matt is telling us we have a spot here where a sasquatch crossed the road.

That is the sound of me banging my head into my desk. Just like that, we can’t be 100% sure has been turned by some bull-headed alchemy into ‘yeah, that’s what happened’. This whole incident is now a ‘fact’ that Matt has added into his arsenal of delusion. Matt splits the team into two. He will continue to plague Ranae as they go down one side of the road and Cliff and Norman Bobo will go down the other. Ew. It’s the creepy thermal imagers. I don’t know why but I hate the way it looks. Maybe it’s too found-footage-shaky-lens-horror-movie for me. Ranae and Matt trudge through the forest to find a spot where sound will carry. Matt is concerned about not hearing the crunching. Matt is finally content and warns the others over radio that he’s going to let it rip, takes a couple of deep breaths like a diva warming up for her solo, and lets loose with a loud, extended ‘Wooooooooooooo’. I’m speechless for a moment. Our angel Ranae looks bored. Maestro Cliff then lets go with a couple of high pitched, screechy screams that are much more impressive than Matt’s woo. Ranae approves. Cliff jokes he practices the calls in the shower and the neighbors hate it. Ba-dum-dum.

After a while there are the two quick sounds like somebody hitting wood with something hard. Matt proclaims that they got two knocks ‘in response’. That’s right, because in Matt’s World he can tell a sasquatch banging on a tree from a PA or a smart-ass high schooler looking to stir things up banging on a tree. My god man! No human bangs on a tree with a stick like that! I’m going to come right out and tell you that this knocking thing drives me crazy. It is treated like evidence time after time after time and it’s so ridiculous, I can’t even be sarcastic about it after a point. Since we’re pretending this is the first time we’ve watched this show though we’ll let it go with a simple ‘that was lame’ and presume we won’t see anything this stupid again. Matt proclaims he thinks there’s a squatch in these woods in a sing-songy voice that grates on my every nerve.

Matt recaps for us after the commercial break. Once again everything that was questionable is being presented as fact. It’s like watching Fox news. Matt explains that his claim to fame in the bigfoot world was discovering that bigfoots make knocks. What is he talking about? How much nonsense will some people entertain? Our angel Ranae is not entertaining it. With some very sexy logic she points out that when you expect to hear something and you’re looking forward to it, you might find it when it’s actually not there. She does not say this to Matt directly, of course, lest he launch himself into a temper tantrum.

The teams decide to move. Cliff and Bobo hear something! It’s the sound of a branch breaking or something falling or a rock being thrown! Actually, it’s sort of an indistinct rustling. My god man. No human being or woodland creature rustles like that!. This news is reported to Matt and he is very excited, clearly having decided this was bigfoot activity though he wasn’t even there. Bobo and Cliff have decided there’s something behind a thick copse of trees. Um, it’s the forest. I think it’s safe to say there’s something behind the trees. Our angel Renae says she wishes she were there but leaves off the ‘so I could set your dumb asses straight’ part.

The next day they travel to a town called Helen to speak with ‘local witnesses’. There is a random shot of a horse and carriage. There are nicely arranged rusting farm implements for decoration. There are chickens. It’s all very kountry with a ‘k’. The Georgia AAFROS are coming in to help. A ‘town hall’ gathering has been arranged in some outdoor seating area (though it looks pretty nippy) and Matt introduces himself and asks the assembled peeps to describe their sightings. There was another sighting on the road where bigfoot froze in a lady’s headlights. They use the same fabricated recreation here that they used during Mary’s story I think. Production values, people. One after another. The creature had hair on his face and smelled like raw sewage. A guy who got growled at and spit on. One that was within fifteen feet and it was just there. Pictures of giant footprints ostensibly taken while duck hunting. A giant hitting a woman’s house with a small tree. They plot the locations on the map and pick three to ‘investigate’.

Janet first, she of the froze-in-the-headlights bigfoot. Or as they say in Matt’s World, another ‘classic road crossing at night sighting’. This is begging for a ‘why did the bigfoot cross the road’ joke but I got nothing. The team is spellbound by Janet’s story which, boiled down, is that she saw a big thing in the road then it went somewhere else. Heavy stuff. Once again Bobo has to faux bigfoot on the road so Janet can compare the size. He walks out to the spot where Janet saw it and holds up a stick until it is as high as Janet says the creature was. Measurements are taken. If the women is correct and not fabricating it from whole cloth, the creature was 9’8”. I snicker. Our angel Ranae gives in to her ennui with a shrug and says ‘I don’t know what to tell you’. Luckily Matt is there and that is never a problem for him. You better sit down for this because I don’t want you to become unsteady when you’re surprised, but Matt thinks it was a bigfoot. Cliff thinks it’s a sasquatch too because freezing in headlights is a ‘very bigfooty thing to do’. How does he know that? Has there been a peer-reviewed paper published I missed documenting the road behavior of the Georgian bigfoot?

Dang it! We got two road crossings in one episode but they totally blew off the sewage lady. Not cool. Cliff and Ranae are off to look into Darla’s tracks and Bobo and Matt are bound for John with the spitting. John leads the pair on a hike through the forest. I hope Bobo ad Matt haven’t seen Deliverance or there may have been some tense moments there. Deliverance John is a taciturn guy who tells them bigfoot was throwing rocks bigger than bowling balls through the trees. We switch to Cliff and Ranae making their way toward Darla. Cliff Cliff-Clavins on about the footprints and the toes and blah-de-blah and categorizes them as compelling stuff. We actually talk to Jeff the duck hunter and not Darla. Jeff describes the lie of footprints he found and says it looks like the creature was backtracking from time to time. Ranae says it could have been keeping an eye on the hunters. Oh Renae, don’t play their reindeer games, it’s beneath you. Back with Bobo and Matt and Deliverance John, they arrive at the location of the sighting. John is wearing a shirt that says ‘Redemption’. I can’t tell for sure if it’s a Jesus thing or not but if it is, shame on John. Just like some ignore the part about making a woman marry her rapist or not eating shellfish, John is playing a little fast and loose with the bearing false witness thing. John looks up a hill and points. It was right there!

What is that hat Bobo is wearing? It’s distracting me. At first I thought it was kind of a confederate thing but now I don’t think so. I can’t stop staring at it. Anyway Matt claims some things about John’s story don’t add up. As if we’ll believe he’s going to disbelieve. He presses John for crucial details – it was brown, its forehead had no hair, the mouth looked like a person’s mouth…wait, John didn’t say that. Matt did, interrupting John who was trying to describe it in the process. Ahhh, clever Matt. In an aside he tells us that he’s purposely leading John in the description to describe the bigfoot in a way that’s contrary to how Matt made up a bigfoot looks. He gets Deliverance John to agree it had big round eyes and that its nose was the same color as its forehead. That’s not what they look like, Matt contemptuously tells us and is still not sure about this John guy. I mean, you can’t really trust a guy whose imaginary monster doesn’t look like your imaginary monster. Matt proclaims he doesn’t know if he can accept John’s story because it doesn’t match what Matt knows reality to be. Oh man, that’s too easy. I’m going to punt on that one and move on.

Back with the tracks, Cliff is walking barefoot on the Georgia clay. If he stretches he can approximate the length of the stride of the footprints but can’t match the depth. There is much head scratching. Our angel Renae who has actually done something as useful as looking up weather data, quotes the temperatures on the day the footprints would have been left and the day after. Her supposition is that the ground would have softened and refroze thereby changing the exact contours of the print. I think she’s just being nice. She’s like that – even when she’s speaking to someone who’s full of it about obviously fake footprints, she’s kind in her denial Cliff thinks…can you guess?...it was a sasquatch. Flat footed, size of prints, blah-de-blah. Sorry, Cliffie, but I bet my feet are as flat as a bigfoot’s. They decide to look around some more.

They’re walking along and discover two new footprints. Big footprints. Cliff blah-de-blahs the heel and the toes. It looks so fake to me I’m discouraged when even Ranae seems excited. People, the print is devoid of even one organically shaped line or any sense of texture. It literally looks like somebody stamped it out with a black of wood, probably because they did. Commercial. In the bumpers we are told that ‘scientists’ have determined that the average height of a bigfoot is 7’10”. That’s pretty precise. I think in making up an average height I would have rounded it up a little. Back to the show. There are two right footprints in a row. Huh? Ranae claims to be dumbfounded but then alludes to people running around making fake tracks in passing.

I think I see what they’re doing. At least once an episode I bet Matt will pretend that he doesn’t believe something and Ranae will pretend that she does. This is probably what they consider balance. I’d forgotten for a moment that this is a reality show therefore nothing about it is real. That was a close call.  Cliff and Ranae exchange a high five and decide to share the over-lauded news with Matt and Bobo who we cut to again talking to John. Matt, despite having said he didn’t buy John’s story, is suggesting that the bigfoot didn’t want Deliverance John taking his fish. Who knew bigfoots were so sensitive about their fish? Matt, apparently.

Ranae and Cliff call to gloat about their ‘footprints’. Bobo explains that he and Matt are standing where Deliverance John saw a nine-footer. Apparently. we the viewers are supposed to have such short attention spans that we forgot the faux doubt from before the commercial. Cliff spills the good news and randomly decides the footprints are a month old and were made by the same squatchie that made the footprints in the photograph they saw. In a weird way, I think it might be kind of cool to be able to delude yourself so easily. How much more interesting life would be if you could just randomly blurt out crap that instantly becomes true in your mind? Perhaps I should ask Donald Trump, he would know. Hold on there, though. For a moment Matt harshes the mood with a serious and important question – can they see toes? Good god, man, no human being or slab of carved wood has toes like that! – the answer is affirmative so Matt ‘waaahs’ his triumph and spirits remain high.

Cliff blah-de-blahs some more about the prints.*sigh* These are now the best prints that Cliff has ever seen! Bobo talking heads how happy he is for his buddy as if he were talking about an engagement announcement or something. And now I’m trying very hard to keep from slapping the television screen as a proxy for Matt’s stupid face. “So Ranae,” he intones scornfully, his expression mocking even though she can’t see it. “Do you see now how you’re so stupid and I’m so right about everything?” Our angel Ranae, trapped in the producer’s constructed nightmare of having to humor the nutbag, merely replies that she’ll admit she can’t explain it. Bobo talking heads that of course she would say that otherwise she would have to admit bigfoots exist.

Oh Ranae, I weep for you and your awesome glasses, forever playing the straight woman to this band of doofuses. It’s like junior high all over again, the socially awkward boys ganging up on the smart girl because she says things that make them feel dumb – this is our angel’s role in the hierarchy of this show. It’s clear by now this show is no comedy. Perhaps it is a tragedy instead. Whatever it is, it’s clearly feeding the misanthropy I try so hard to keep at bay.

To be continued...
« Last Edit: April 21, 2017, 11:48:22 PM by Niferbelle »

Offline NiferbelleTopic starter

Re: Bad TV! -- 'Finding Bigfoot'
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2017, 10:49:51 PM »
Part 3

Back to the show. Matt and Bobo have to see the ‘footprints’ for themselves. We cut to Cliff and Ranae being all scientific with tape measure again and some plaster, all to preserve them for what Cliff describes as ‘dozens’ of ‘scientists’ who will want to ‘study’ them. It’s dark by the time Matt and Bobo arrive to scope out the prints. Hugs are exchanged. Matt has to puff himself up again by once again putting on the mantle of authority and explaining that because they are two right footprints (Unknown dude, couldn’t you have a carved a left foot too? That’s just lazy) you can see there is movement of the toes (?) which means it clearly isn’t a rigid cut-out. No, Matt, there’s nothing ‘clearly’ about it except that they are clearly fake. And did you notice, Matt, in that little lovefest a second ago, nobody hugged you or your sunburned nose? OK guys, you probably can’t tell, but in the interest of fairness, I should let you know that I think Matt is stinky and so I might be biased.

As we continue, Cliff makes a terrible pun that in the interest of sheer decency I shall not repeat here. Matt recaps the fabricated evidence they’ve ‘discovered’ – the faux footprints, the two ‘classic road crossing at night sightings’ but sadly no mention of the missed opportunity to investigate the sewer sasquatch. All this apparently has led them to learn where the ‘ground zero’ of bigfoot activity in northern Georgia is. The ground zero of bullshit, I mumble under my breath, my spirits flagging even as our teams’ rise. Grumpy now, I press on.

More thermal imaging equipment is being dragged out. Two cameras are going on the roof of the cars. Matt is so awesome he’s going to get a crew to man some handhelds, that is, he’s going to call some of his sad AAFRO buddies and ask them to humiliate themselves render assistance. Matt blah-de-blahs some more about cameras and location and honestly I just don’t care anymore because they’re just going to make crap up anyway. More whackadoodles arrive, including a young woman who is singled out briefly probably because Matt has a crush on her. She has very long, gleaming pigtails. I would like to have pigtails like that. Matt gives them all their marching orders and they split up.

Cliff Cliff-Clavins about how never before has this been done, that such a caravan of thermal imaging has never been attempted before. Uh, I would guess that a few law enforcement organizations, the Department of Defense, the CIA, the NSA, the…well, you get the picture…but none of them matter because they weren’t looking for bigfoots. Duh. Matt blah-de-blahs about location again and undergrowth and we get a little map that’s supposed to indicate where sightings have occurred. There’s some radio talk about things feelin’ squatchy and the headwaters of some river and whatnot, all your basic filler, and….geez. We see a shot of the caravan driving down the road.

I don’t mean to sound like a know-it-all, I don’t want to take Matt or Cliff’s job, but I feel like there’s something I have to suggest. Let’s pretend we live in Matt’s World and that bigfoots exist. That would mean these ginormous creatures are so smart and so reclusive that not only are they never clearly seen, they clean up their own poopies and are experts at concealing the bodies of their dead. But Matt and the AAFROs think they are going to spot one while driving down a highway in the middle of the night in bumper to bumper traffic with their lights blazing and nobody shutting up on their radios? Really? What self-respecting bigfoot would get caught unawares by that? None, I submit to you, no self-respecting sasquatch would be caught that way so unless they are lucky enough to pass some poor little bigfoot with self-esteem issues, all this is a waste of time. Until they decide what they’re going to make up, anyway.

More driving, more thermal images, more ‘ahhh, this is the life’ when suddenly the delta car reports something! It’s the cute girl with the gorgeous pigtails and she’s working that radio hard. It’s a heat signature blob! Oh my gosh! Now this is the proof I’ve been waiting for! Just kidding. The heat signature blob soon fades. It matters not as our intrepid heroes are convinced this was something. How lucky then that at the same time they have a possible bigfoot contained in a localized area they also have a bevy of well-equipped volunteers at their disposal. With all those people, how could they possibly not find it? See, you would think so but you’re not a professional. Apparently what a professional would do in this situation is just send all the manpower home and split up again, sticking poor Ranae with Matt.

And we have more green people stumbling around in what could be the ravine behind somebody’s house for all we know. Lord help us, they decide to revert to calls again. Cliff begins with three of his superior screechy screams that I continue to get a kick out of. Matt and Ranae didn’t hear them so Matt decides if you want something done right only he can do it. He gets set to call out. He puckers his lips. He does his diva breathing/panting thing, and just before he’s going to let loose, he suddenly stops. He wants to know if Ranae heard that. Our angel Ranae did not. I have to rewind again to try to determine what Ranae and I didn’t hear. Oh wait. What sounded like Matt exhaling is apparently a bigfoot call. Cliff and Norm Bobo didn’t make it. Matt can’t tell where it came from! Ranae wants to know if Matt is messing with her. *snicker* Matt says it sounded like a big man going ‘AHHHH!’. Mystery solved! It was a big man going ‘AHHHH!.

And that folks is the big climax. Nothing else happens. No more outrageous claims. Talk about anti-climactic. Credits roll over some highlights from the episode as Matt tells us he’s pretty sure there are bigfoots in northern Georgia. Seriously? He was saying that when this whole thing started. Now it feels like we kind of spent the last forty something minutes watching somebody masturbate. Ew. We can at least rejoice that we have survived this first foray into Matt’s World but now it’s time for introspection. Now that we know how ridiculously bad this show is, how in earth can I explain my fascination with it? It’s like analyzing a secret shame. You really don’t want to look at it too closely lest it leave you in doubt of the quality of your humanity. But here we go.

I think first and foremost, I baffled by the audacity of it, how not a shred of an attempt to be objective makes it on the screen. How far can they push it? Just how bad will they let it get? It’s sort of the slowing-down-to-see-a-car-wreck effect. Secondly, though we live in a reality TV culture where people regularly sell their souls and will pretend to be anything for fifteen seconds of fame, I think these guys are actually who they seem to be, a bunch of bigfoot geeks who are putting on a play in the barn. Of course things are manipulated and edited and enhanced and all that, but they really believe in this stuff. When Matt proudly proclaims that he ‘discovered’ the sound of somebody beating on a tree with a stick, I think that pride is real. If you think there’s some authenticity there, it becomes a lot like people watching which is a time honored tradition. Finally, there is our angel Ranae, fighting to be the voice of reason until she, like me, kind of runs out of steam toward the end but her struggle begs to be witnessed.

And there we have it, our first foray into bad TV until next time. Will I tackle episode two? Will I try another show entirely? Not even I know but if you weigh in with the bad shows you’re fascinated with, maybe I’ll add it to my viewing list. Thanks for reading!
« Last Edit: April 26, 2017, 10:53:36 PM by Niferbelle »

Offline vysethethird

Re: Bad TV! -- 'Finding Bigfoot' (season 1, episode 1)
« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2017, 01:40:40 PM »
I do remember seeing ads for this, I believe it was on the channel known as "Destination America" though chances are it might end up on some other channel that might be owned by the same company. Anyway, the review does make sense and by how it seems the show is very watered down with more fanaticism than actual facts, I almost am getting a vibe that this is also rehashing or reusing the same format as say a show about hunting for ghosts. The evidence is pretty slim with what they come up with and yet somehow people are fascinated by this stuff. I also recall on this channel they have a show that involves exorcism or driving 'evil spirits' from a house. Cannot remember the name of the show though, but never really left that much of an impression on me due to how it seems very similar to "Finding Bigfoot", but did make me wonder how the hell can people watch it and not question the motives of the hosts and all.

Offline NiferbelleTopic starter

Re: Bad TV! -- 'Finding Bigfoot' (season 1, episode 1)
« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2017, 03:30:13 PM »
I agree, all of those ghost shows are very much in the same vein. The only thing that differentiates Finding Bigfoot for me is the mixture of personalities and the feeling that those guys are true believers as opposed to most of the ghost guys who know they're con men (or women) and are only playing to the audience.

I do find myself wondering who is Finding Bigfoot's audience -- are there really that many people that are that gullible or is their audience mostly an ironic one (like me)?