lmao went a little overboard on the backstory, but I was having fun with it!
Player's name: Writersblockade
Character's name: Henry Conners
Character's super hero name: Cummander Coitus
Description: Standing at six foot, two inches! Weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds! The clean shaven, and squared-jawed Cummander is the epitome of valiant superherodom! The Titan of truth, justice, and sexual freedom works tirelessly to keep the wings of liberty soaring!
History and how they got their powers: Henry Conners didn't start out a hero. He was a do-nothing security guard at a major pharmaceutical company. It was just another slow day at the desk when alarms blared on the R&D floor. Not wanting to lose his cushy job for what was likely a false alarm, Henry rushed into position to find himself face to face with the masked thief Shadow Cunt! Now Henry could think of better ways to spend his evening, and tried to explain as much to the thief, but the tightly dressed thief made a gesture towards him. Henry closed his eyes, but nothing happened! Both seemed to look at each other in confusion, before she panicked and ran. Hoping to cause a distraction, the thief turned dials, threw levers, and broke whatever she could, leaving Henry with pages of incident reports he would need to fill out!
In his confusion (and early stage of mourning a perfectly good job) Henry failed to realize that he was covered in a soup of enhancement drugs, and had his exit blocked by fire. Attempting to find another means of escape resulted in a short fight with the thief, which Henry was only slightly qualified for thanks to a less-than-stellar military career. Alas, the thief broke free, but not before dropping what appeared to be her target at his feet! Cursing him and kicking him away before disappearing into the shadows, Henry was left coughing as he picked up the broken vial. He'd tried to be careful, since the markings on the vial showed its importance, but he still managed to cut himself.
As fate would have it, he managed to receive a good jolt of electricity from the overloading lab equipment to seal the deal, and collapsed in the mixture of next-generation drugs that would keep old men hard, young men fucking well past their normal times, and turn a person's testicles into high output semen factories. When he came to, he was in the hospital. The first thing he laid his eyes on were the company's law cronies. While it was regrettable that he would have to be let go, they came up with a reasonable amount to ease his passage. Henry may have been weak at the time, but he knew when he was getting conned. He ended up settling for twice as much, knowing the company got off easy, though he also knew that he wasn't interested in some long trial, or being some lawyer’s meal ticket. Once they decided on what was fair, he gave the nondisclosure agreements a look over and signed, he got his first check of many, and promptly checked himself out of the hospital.
It wasn't until he’d found himself in the mood to rub one out that the metamorphosis took place. There, cells infused with the properties of the drugs he'd found himself in, kicked into action. He’d felt himself grow thicker, and longer in his hand. His body seemed to inflate as it adapted to wield both his powers, and abilities. Muscle hardened, absorbing the blood his body was producing. His balls doubled in size, and ached for a milking. He was suddenly in a body that could run a marathon and have sex with a few spectators at the finish line after. He felt…powerful, and horny…to horny!
He awoke to a mess he could neither explain, or clean! In one corner, a webbing of cum hung suspended, while another part of his apartment had a hole in it…to his room…then outside. A puddle seemed to just lay on the floor. It wasn't until he forgot that it was there that he noticed it was way more slippery than it had a right to be. Once he was able to pick himself off the ground, Henry noticed a strange-looking gun and holster, hooked to a harness on what he'd consider his dining room table. Next to it was a tablet with “play me” on it. Once he played it, he was treated to an older version of himself. Apparently he needed the gun, and while it wasn't available until later, he needed it now, because reasons. Older him knew him far too well, because he'd clapped his hands to get his attention, then warned him not to overthink it. Time is fucked up. Deal with it.
He'd just been armed with the Moneyshot Pistol, a gun that turned his semen into a more focused weapon. He was told that the Moneyshot gave him a means to fire his load as he needed it, via voice command. The hole he made? If he requested “Penetrator”, then the gun would fire off loads that could do damage. “Sticky Situation” created the webbing. “Bukkake” was a full-auto variation of whatever he was firing. He'd give the command for the load, then add the additional command to fire off whole loads to suppress or subdue. The future him advised that the instructions were on the tablet, but nothing else. Something about wanting to minimize the effects of sending the gun back to him...he honestly wasn't paying much attention at that point.
It took him a while. He had no idea why he was given the gun, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to play with it! Old warehouses on the outskirts of the city became his proving ground. First he was just getting used to the gun and what it did...and having fun fondling himself for fresh ammo. His new body was amazing. Even stroking himself off became fun in its own right! He'd left a trail of whores in spasms one night. He kept being told "no charge". No charge! Like he'd done them a favor! But it got him thinking...sex for money? He was set for life practically from the settlement, but what else could he do that would keep him...regulated...and lead a normal life? It was either that or create other moments to jack off, and face it, it just seemed wrong to not nail as many ladies as possible now!
So he got a...manager, and made bank! News of him spread like wildfire, and it wasn't long before he was accompanying ladies with devastating looks and disposable incomes who either already were in relationships, or had no need for them. It was on one such occasion that he'd run into Shadow Cunt again! Stealing the family jewels of the woman who was sleeping off their session. He was still wearing the Zorro mask his client preferred, so he challenged her with what would be his classic pre-battle statement - Not on my watch! They fought, but Shadow Cunt was fresh, and in full control of her powers. She used every shadow around him to pop in and out, peppering him with blows. His body could take it, but not forever! It wasn't until he let himself be hit, then dragged her out of the shadows that he finally got the upper hand!
Hands groped, a certain skin tight suit was zipped open, and before he knew it, he was balls deep in criminal mischief! He'd left a note for his client apologizing for the mess, and to contact his manager for anything that needed to be repaired. He left the Shadow Cunt's unconscious, smiling body at the police precinct's doorstep. Maybe she would escape again, but he'd deal with that later. His drive home was made with his own smile. He'd gotten a taste of being a hero. There was no going back now!
Example: The Cummander spoke to the moneyshot pistol as he broke in on the robbery in progress. He'd issued the command Sticky Situation, then fired a few shots at one guy to stick him and his gun against a wall. Still running, he managed to clock one of the other perps, sending him flipping onto his back and unconscious. Another command switch the pistol to Penetrator, Just the Tip, before pelting two armed perps with shots that rattled them with the power of rubber bullets. They too were beaten into submission. The last one thought he was safe behind one of the desks! The Cummander took cover himself before issuing his last command "Penetrator...Balls Deep Bukkake", and unloaded a volley of shots that hammered the desk, then the perp, into submission. The bank was a bit messier than when he started, but it and the hostages were now safe!
Offs: listed in profile, pretty much. O/o can change depending on character played
Major on: (List your most desired situation, something you HOPE will happen to your character during the game.)
Having a quickie during battle to create a combination power move with the person I’m with.
Silliness check: Answer the following: Your character sees a multi tentacle monster coming out of a dimensional crack in the wall (that looks just like a vagina opening) what is the first thing they say?
Reminds me of my ex-wife…*readies gun* This’ll teach you to take my dog, you bitch!
Other info and notes: Not much, may change as time goes on. He does wear a mask! It's just more fitting of his costume now.