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Author Topic: Early Draft of a Poem  (Read 843 times)

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Offline Tesaka FyrewolfTopic starter

Early Draft of a Poem
« on: January 13, 2014, 06:44:16 PM »
Author's Note: This is a very preliminary draft that I wrote while very ill in November/December with pneumonia when I wasn't coughing scary stuff up, sleeping, or thinking about equations. I tend to write a lot of very short pieces/sketches and poems to help me frame my longer stories as well as provide a bit of a myth / legend framework. Any feedback on how to improve my overall poetic style or imagery would be greatly appreciated!

The grey wolf is locked inside the cage,
Deep breath poisons her lungs.
She dreams of shadowed forests,
Enchanted springs, forgotten lore,
An ogre sheltering her from the storm.
A song of her, a soul in need,
A shy and silent symphony
In need of a lullaby
To lighten the heart's leaden load.

The impartial skies are abyss black,
Apathetic above dusty windstorm,
Fallen trees, swirling sands.
Immortal beloved sheltering her
In warm, powerful embrace of fleeting solace,
Cold iron cage shattered in meaty fists.
A catnap in the ghost town of the spirit,
Singing a song of them, souls in search
Of a gentle and peaceful symphony
In need of a nocturne-lullaby
So they can finally lay down and rest.

Dusty storms descend from abyss-dome high above,
Wolf and immortal beloved nestled,
Entwined, two hearts beat as one.
A song of them, a song of two friends
In need of a soothing symphony
To soothe two parched hearts,
Wandering in ashen desert
Beneath charred apathetic skies,
Shadowed by browned blood of ancient days,
Rusty and forgotten, no other footprints
Save theirs in desolate lands
Until gales sunder their paths
Kindred spirits flung to distant corners.

Grey wolf howls to the ogre,
Nocturne to calm devils of swirling dust,
A call to find her companion once again.
Memories of spring-born days,
Innocence, immortal beloved,
Sapphire and turquoise skies,
Dreams of warm embrace, golden dawns,
Scarlet dusks, two souls entwined,
A catnap in the husks of wounded hearts.
A song of them, yearning spirits
Singing a song of rest and hope,
Healing a shattered ogre's pain
One in need of a shoulder to ease his burden.

Two forlorn trails cross in ancient sands,
One thousand one nights unseen.
Loners searching, reaching
Amidst blinding blizzards of despair,
Footprints blown away, never to return.
Wolf and ogre finally reunited
Burden of years lifted in joyful embrace,
Cage broken, air no longer poisons her lungs,
Decades of sorrow lifted from immortal beloved,
Youth restored to friends too long sundered
By iron cage and scorching storm.
A song of them, grateful souls
Reunited in a random walk
Within a joyous symphony.

Sky fades from vacant apathy to tranquil blue,
Burning sands give way to careless lilacs,
Rich soils studded with shy green herbs,
Trees standing proud and vibrant,
Sheltering wolf and immortal beloved from rain.
A song of them, a song in need
Of a triumphant symphony,
An enchanted nocturne-lullaby,
For two companions finally free,
Forever at peace under the mighty oaks and pines.

Offline ReaderGurl

Re: Early Draft of a Poem
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2014, 07:53:59 PM »
I really like it, you did a great job!

Offline Korno

Re: Early Draft of a Poem
« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2014, 01:39:05 AM »
I think it is a wonderful poem and has a distinct flavor of its own.

Offline Tesaka FyrewolfTopic starter

Re: Early Draft of a Poem
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2014, 06:41:38 PM »
Thanks! It was a lot of fun to write as well!