A Giant Gold Cookie Goes Missing, Sets Off Monster Investigation

[Spookie Monster]

A Giant Gold Cookie Goes Missing, Sets Off Monster Investigation

Authorities here are busy trying to take a bite out of crime.

For the past several weeks, police have sought to get to the crusty bottom of an unusual kidnapping -- one that involves a giant, gold-plated cookie and ransom notes from a shaggy blue figure who has mockingly claimed responsibility for the abduction.


Michael Thomas / Hannoversche Allgemeine Zeitung
An alleged thief who goes by the name 'Cookie Monster' taunted the company in this image.

This is how I can prove that I didn't do it: A ransom note was received demanding that Bahlsen, cookie manufacturer and legal owner of the golden cookie in question, "donate €1,000 to an animal shelter and cookies to children in a local hospital."  Fine.  However, the note specified, "But the [cookies] with milk chocolate, not the ones with dark chocolate and not the ones without chocolate..."

But what about those children who are allergic to chocolate, HMMM?  I would have demanded some chocolateless cookies for them.

The defense rests.

It seems as though the cookie might very well have been retrieved ("Police are now investigating a golden cookie that turned up last week hanging on a red ribbon around the neck of a horse statue in front of the city's Leibniz University..."; I mean, come on), but Bahlsen are going to donate a heap o' cookies anyhow -- 52,000 packages of cookies to 52 charities.  Very cool.  (I haven't heard anything about a donation to an animal shelter, unfortunately; if anyone hears anything about that, please let me know.)

Spel

What in the world can you do?