Interracial Roleplaying - How do you feel?

[la dame en noir]

Just as a side not, and i might add it to my OP, I don't rp interracial pairings for the sake of kink. As someone who is very active in that community, its a huge turn off to have someone come to me simply because of my skin color.

I just know that the majority of people that play on E are white and therefore, interracial will hate a lot more.

[la dame en noir]

Might I suggest that you report this individual?  His actions flies in the face of what E is about.  We are an all inclusive community.  That's not to say that he "Has" to write with you but he can be more tactful in expressing his preferences where they are not hurtful.  Like you said, if he had mentioned that he doesn't care to write against black females, it would not have be hurtful.  But in my experience, whether or not he intended to hurt, it speaks to a racial attitude.

The problem with reporting is that it was vague. Since a certain ethnicity was not targeted, I can't really report him. The situation just triggered a conversation I wanted to have with other fellow E players.

[Rolo]

Chuckles 

Sorry Lustful but I just saw you tag in your profile and here you are being "Logical".

The intention would not be to have this individual banned or even suspended.  Our staff does an amazing job of keeping E a safe and enjoyable place, but they cannot be everywhere.  It is up to us to make them aware of issues that could be damaging.  If it is an isolated case then they will determine that.  If it is a deeper issue then they can take corrective actions.  Just a thought.  I hate to see good people get hurt over the ignorance of others.

[la dame en noir]

I'm just breakable. I should have a tag that says "Fragile, handle with care"

[Twisted Crow]

Honestly, as someone that also likes interracial RP, I think it's about perception. It could be a kink or a simple reflection of what gets you going in real life. Asian girls to me always seemed exotic. White chicks be everywhere. Not saying that I never found a white girl attractive, but I just find that Japanese, Korean and Chinese women are my kryptonite. The upsetting part for me is that it sounds as if any other combo with my personal feelings of attraction would be "fine" or somehow, more "acceptable" to them. To me (because of a somewhat humorous mixture of stereotypes, actually), it seems like a kink of its own to people. Or maybe some sort "hedonistic fetish" if a white guy happens to have a "thing" for Asian females (in the Japanese, Korean and Chinese categories, anyway). All of a sudden, that common, faux "stance" people (of this sort) have on objectivity... and "subjective personal taste" related to physical attraction? In my experience, it just kind of crumbles away.

I'm sure you all (here on Elliquiy) understand that people have their preferences when it comes to physical attraction. So I am not too worried about being judged as harshly. In spite of my likings, I can literally find attractiveness in all variety of ethnicities, religions and sizes if its the right girl. Hell, my dating history is proof. I am not going to make this all about myself, here but I just wanted to share this so that maybe you might not feel so alone in this, Dame. It's not the exact same problem, but a similar problem. About perception, when it comes to this feeling of being "typecasted" that I could be feeling from you in your words above. It's something that I think I can sympathize with.

I'm not even going to get into the whole Liege thing on here (that's a whole another TL;DR thesis on my personal feelings and stuff ), but to keep things simple...

In real life, I am (physically) a Caucasian male. In a way, my heart goes out to you because I sometimes feel like my roleplaying preferences and tastes are looked at negatively -- or sometimes "generically" from time-to-time. I have sometimes thought that people would look at my threads and think "Oh great, just another white dude that has an Asian girl thing" But thankfully, I also know quite a few partners and friends here made up of different races. It is one of the reasons that inspired me to write a personal take on what Love is, in one of my Good and Cuddly threads. It is called "Love is Love". But... on matters of Elliquiy? Skin color isn't a factor to me in terms of roleplaying potential. If I love your writing (and if our imaginations are like fireworks) then it doesn't matter to me what you look like.

On the "I don't like..." subject. Eh... it doesn't strike me as being written with the express intent to be hurtful. But I do feel like it is inconsiderate to word it in such a way. So I am not defending this person really... just more so looking at it from an outside perspective. I don't blame you for being hurt, either way. I would have definitely worded that differently if I were in that situation. While "I don't like" isn't necessarily "I hate", I do think it could have been worded better.

[la dame en noir]

I've actually had a kink discussion that focused on People of Color in the community. It was led by a Korean/Italian mixed girl who had to constantly turn down people for their "Asian women are exotic" or expected her to be a certain way because she was asian. There were two other Asian women in the room who felt the same way, but was quiet about it. They talked later and mentioned that being fetishied simply because of their ethnic background and culture, isn't at all heartwarming. It made them feel less than human and a product to be messed with.

Some people like it

Others would rather not be noticed simply because they are different in that way.

[Lustful Bride]

I've actually had a kink discussion that focused on People of Color in the community. It was led by a Korean/Italian mixed girl who had to constantly turn down people for their "Asian women are exotic" or expected her to be a certain way because she was asian. There were two other Asian women in the room who felt the same way, but was quiet about it. They talked later and mentioned that being fetishied simply because of their ethnic background and culture, isn't at all heartwarming. It made them feel less than human and a product to be messed with.

Some people like it

Others would rather not be noticed simply because they are different in that way.

I remember when I was younger id moved back to the states with my parents and in like..i think middle school?..hmm its been so long. but anyway I identified myself once as "Puerto Rican" because the island was the only place I had any memories of at that age. And my parents were both giving me the 'Shut up' look because they were worried people might think I was mocking them.

I was too young to understand all the little quirks our species has with names and labels.

When most people think of Puerto Rican they automatically think of tanned Hispanic person. Not redhead.

Preconceptions are bad about 90% of the time I say.

[Twisted Crow]

I've actually had a kink discussion that focused on People of Color in the community. It was led by a Korean/Italian mixed girl who had to constantly turn down people for their "Asian women are exotic" or expected her to be a certain way because she was asian. There were two other Asian women in the room who felt the same way, but was quiet about it. They talked later and mentioned that being fetishied simply because of their ethnic background and culture, isn't at all heartwarming. It made them feel less than human and a product to be messed with.

Some people like it

Others would rather not be noticed simply because they are different in that way.

Ah yes... That's usually something I have to be very clear about with partners that happen to be Asian. Its why I like to get those talks out of the way with potential partners. (I,e., "What kind of things upset you or turn you away. This is usually the first thing I try to avoid") Physically, I just think they are very pretty. When it comes to the stereotypes on cultures and common cliché's on the writing end of it, though? That's not something I normally like to explore when it comes to role play or in real life.

[la dame en noir]

I remember when I was younger id moved back to the states with my parents and in like..i think middle school?..hmm its been so long. but anyway I identified myself once as "Puerto Rican" because the island was the only place I had any memories of at that age. And my parents were both giving me the 'Shut up' look because they were worried people might think I was mocking them.

I was too young to understand all the little quirks our species has with names and labels.

When most people think of Puerto Rican they automatically think of tanned Hispanic person. Not redhead.

Preconceptions are bad about 90% of the time I say.

LOL they also seem to forget that Spanish people are white :/
Latino/a people are array of ethnicities and mixes. Again, people are willfully ignorant.

[Twisted Crow]

In practice, I just find that it is easier for me to treat people by how they act... not blindly trusting what my eyes see all the time. Eyes can play tricks with perception.

[Aiyanna]

I actually put something sort of related to this in my O/o's. I don't deliberately go seeking interracial RP's because seeing one partner be one ethnicity and the other be a different ethnicity isn't the kink for me. I like playing women (and more recently men) of all ethnicities, and I'll admit, I do sometimes go out of my way to play Asian, Hispanic, Islander, or African American characters because I feel there is a distinct lack of variety at times when it comes to character appearance. To put it bluntly, more often than not, white people are at the bottom of my list of preferred ethnicities, because there are just too many of them. There are a couple of exceptions to that rule but for the most part, I look at it this way: I play a <insert noun or adjective here> in real life. Why on earth would I want to do that for a game?

None of this is to say I don't have my preferences. The prettiest older women I've ever seen have been Asian. Typically, I think black men have really nice smiles. I love the things white guys tend to do with their hair. Don't get me started on redheads of almost any shade or ethnicity. Love it all, natural or dyed(done well). But I'm not going to fetishize any one ethnicity or go questing specifically for interracial RP because I think that's a good way to make someone feel undervalued, or valued for the wrong reasons.

[la dame en noir]

Thank you for that, Aiyanna! :3

[Twisted Crow]

This topic actually reminds me of a fun conversation I had with a Cosplayer that happened to be Black. Wonderful lady, smart, classy and a total nerd like me. One of her peeves in Cosplay was "black-facing", where non-black cosplayers would basically do what it sounds like if they were going to cosplay as a character that happens to be Black (Mace Windu, Jacob from Mass Effect 2, etc). Her stance on it was that the race of the character shouldn't be what defines the character. And they way she said it was perfect. It pretty much embodies how I feel about roleplaying with characters of different races. Granted it is not quite the same, but the same concept and ideology was something I took to heart and embraced.

There was also a semi-related humorous experience where this white guy dressed up (cosplayed) as Blade for Halloween, but everyone mistook him for Neo (The Matrix) or Riddick (Pitch Black).

I feel like even though I like what I like... I don't normally look at them as a prerequisite (unless it is the point of the story or somewhat important to it). Ultimately, race shouldn't normally be what defines a character. Darth Vader was voiced by James Earl Jones, and that's what I remember. Not because James was Black. But because his voice was perfect for that sort of character. Sarevok (current avatar); voiced by Keith Michael Richardson (Principal Lewis on American Dad) is actually another funny coincidence. When I hear Keith's voice on American Dad, I think of Sarevok. I think of a character that always struck a chord in my heart. And to me, that's what writing these stories are mostly about when it comes to this topic. It's the voice (the writer) that matters most, and the characters themselves. Race is just one of many qualities about them.

[Lustful Bride]

I think we can just grind all this down to a simple thing.

"All Men and Women of all races, ethnicities, orientations and etc etc etc. Are beautiful in their own way."

[Twisted Crow]

That I can also agree with

[la dame en noir]

Oh god don't get me started on black-facing in cosplay

I am a cosplayer and I'm against it.

[Vekseid]

Yeesh, I usually have to go out of my way to find someone willing to play a black girl. I am sorry this happened la dame.

I generally don't think of it as interracial. I genuinely have zero preference regarding my partner's skin color. I generally play white males in my sexual scenes, though I've had a few exceptions.

I do often find that women take my renders, choice of pictures, etc. far more personally than I intend. I like the variety of human experience, it's just unfortunate that most models are white. I do try to dig for black models where I can and make renders of black girls when feasible though.

[Twisted Crow]

...I do often find that women take my renders, choice of pictures, etc. far more personally than I intend...

This makes me consider something. Would it be weird to say I have a fear of that kind of outcome? I generally feel more afraid of upsetting people, in general.

[la dame en noir]

Yeesh, I usually have to go out of my way to find someone willing to play a black girl. I am sorry this happened la dame.

I generally don't think of it as interracial. I genuinely have zero preference regarding my partner's skin color. I generally play white males in my sexual scenes, though I've had a few exceptions.

I do often find that women take my renders, choice of pictures, etc. far more personally than I intend. I like the variety of human experience, it's just unfortunate that most models are white. I do try to dig for black models where I can and make renders of black girls when feasible though.

Sorry, didn't mean to make it sound that way. I'm only speaking of interracial coupling in rps/literature - not as a fetish. I don't look for skin color when roleplaying, dating, etc.

[Caehlim]

I've certainly had couples in stories I've written on Elliquiy that were interracial.

Despite being white anglo-celtic, I like to write stories with diverse characters, so several of the characters I play in stories on Elliquiy are people of colour. I do worry sometimes whether I am doing the experience justice and certainly hope that it's not something offensive to people.

[Cyrano Johnson]

Speaking for myself, an honest attempt at portraying realistic diversity rarely goes amiss with me; even a flawed attempt speaks well of a writer's character and awareness.

[Skynet]

White IRL, for what it's worth.

I've done a few games with inter-racial pairings and character couples on E, some of which revolved around a type of fantasy which may come off as...stereotypical in a way (harems).  I do try and be mindful in that there are poor ways to handle it, like how certain instances of fetishization might come off as creepy like what la dame en noir mentioned about instances in the kink community earlier.

On a related note, I tend to like to use anime/manga images for RPs, and by personal experience certain images are harder to find than others: most anime characters are light-skinned, and while there are dark-skinned ones as well certain styles of dress and hair texture can be quite hard to find.  And trying to find a dark-skinned elf who isn't a drow is quite challenging.  But I try anyway, and ended up with quite a few worthy finds.

But on a similar level, I do like to pepper my stories and worlds with people of many colors.  They are all beautiful in their own way, and given that my preferred RPG worlds are sci-fi and fantasy, with some more modern ones taking a more diverse turn, I don't have to feel limited by concerns of "realism" of who would be where at what time period.  Yes, I know that the ancient world is more diverse than a lot of people give it credit for, but with a completely fictional fantasy realm people can't exactly pull the "historical accuracy" card so easily; they can try, but it won't make them look good.

[Cyrano Johnson]

. . . I don't have to feel limited by concerns of "realism" of who would be where at what time period.  Yes, I know that the ancient world is more diverse than a lot of people give it credit for, but with a completely fictional fantasy realm people can't exactly pull the "historical accuracy" card so easily; they can try, but it won't make them look good.

Cuts both ways. In fantasy stories where diversity is purely a matter of authorial "choice" rather than realism, the choices can be unwontedly revealing. Just as fantasy worlds featuring brutal sexism can be revealing (ironically, the reflexive defense of these when someone asks "why are all the women either passive or sex toys?" is typically "'um, realism!'" ).

It's a common phenomenon in SF, which is replete with futures conveniently cleansed of black people or where the most important decisions in the universe revolve exclusively around the decisions of Very Specifically White people. (Often red-haired white people for some curious reason, cf. the Lensman books.)

Writers who make choices in a different direction -- with, say, a cosmic problem revolving around the decisions of a character who is not white -- are unfortunately rare enough that they become often specific phenomena with nonwhite readers or fans. Cf. the Earthsea books and Ged, for example, or Avatar: The Last Airbender taking its inspiration from specifically Asian cultures, which is why the whitewashed casting of later adaptations of these properties created so much blowback.

[Aiyanna]

On a related note, I tend to like to use anime/manga images for RPs, and by personal experience certain images are harder to find than others: most anime characters are light-skinned, and while there are dark-skinned ones as well certain styles of dress and hair texture can be quite hard to find.  And trying to find a dark-skinned elf who isn't a drow is quite challenging.  But I try anyway, and ended up with quite a few worthy finds.

This, on so many levels. My first experience with online, forum based RP came from GaiaOnline. Anime-style avatars are the thing there, and with darker anime characters being in short supply, I think that is what initially spawned my interest in playing just about anything else, to try to inject some diversity in to the character pool.

[ThePrince]

I’ve never considered one race’s skin to be more beautiful than the others. This idea of some sort skin beauty pecking order has eluded me even in my more closed minded days. I’ve never had a issue with my roleplay partners playing different races than my own. So the idea that someone would not play with a character specifically because of their skin color is very alien to me.

As far as the real life BDSM communities, I belong to the Master/slave community and I am proud that we are a devise community. I’am proud to know Mama Vi, Master Taino, Sir Guy, Lady D and the men of ONXY and have them in my community.

If I might take the moment to brag, getting the chance to actually meet and talk to Mama Vi has been one of the highlights of my life. She is one of the most well known and respected women in Leather and if you are lucky enough to meet her you will understand why. The work that she and her wife are doing with the Carter Johnson Library is, I think, one of the most important projects currently being done in the BDSM community and is something that will benefit all of us.

One a side but important note, here is a link to SirGuy’s speech at the 2015 Master/slave Conference about the history of African Americans in the M/s community.
https://fetlife.com/users/33478/posts/3230080