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Author Topic: SB and Unverified members.  (Read 3648 times)

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Offline Elvi

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #25 on: April 25, 2008, 06:33:30 PM »
All in all..I agree about the SB...I really do.  It does get out of hand.  I wasn't assuming you were directing anything about me Sherona, honestly I was just "outing" myself  :)  I do go too far in the SB.  Oh! Another thing...maybe simply put a header over the SB reminding of the pg-13 status!!  I just realized that I only knew about the rule after I had been admonished -in- the SB.  

Hmmm..know what might also be a good idea?  An automated PM (everyone reads their PMs, especially newbies) once one is approved, making them aware of the less realized rules.  Hmmm..and give instructions for how to get into chat if they cannot...and who to contact should they have a problem with chat...and all of those commands with chat...wow I could go on and on  :-X  But then at the end of the PM, have them respond that they have read and understood it.  Maybe even make it "un-deletable"  is that a word?.

*rolls eyes*
Yes and we could wipe their noses and make sure their nails are clean before typing....

Come on Greeny....There are enough bloody rules about the parts of the site that is visible to the 'public', whatever happened to common sense and some sort of self control?

(And no....Like Sherona, this isn't all directed at yourself....)

Well, no more antics in the SB for me. Actually, I doubt I'll even keep it open anymore. After all I might say something and before I knew it, someone would disapprove. If anyone wants my attention from now on, use PM. That will keep everybody happy, right?

And I'm sorry Calico, but that has made you sound like a petulant child...

Offline Kalen

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #26 on: April 25, 2008, 06:43:27 PM »
I agree with Airindel.  I think that most of the.. 'fun'.. that goes on in the SB would be more more suited to a private venue.  PM's, chat, or just plain off of good old 'E.  I've argued this with a few people, in what was supposed to be an honest and straightforward discussion.. but it seems that passions run pretty high about this sort of thing.

But again.. two SB's?  Why, when we already have PM's and Chat?

Offline Vekseid

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #27 on: April 25, 2008, 06:49:58 PM »
Calm down, please.

And two, because the Shoutbox serves a purpose in that it gets significant use and does not appear to detract significantly from posting rates (at least compared to complaints of other forum owners). I'll probably be redoing it entirely to be easier to hide.

I also want an easier venue for guests to ask questions. Something visible on the front page of the site may help that.

Offline Captain Maltese

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #28 on: April 25, 2008, 07:14:22 PM »
'Petulant child'? Try 'sad adult'. To me, the shoutbox has been the Elli equivalent of Cheers. Flirting, laughter, shenanigans, people going in and leaving within a minute. No big discussions to disturb, noone who appears to be there but don't answer because they are busy in a private communication. Outside the threads, the SB was the best feature Elli had to offer me. But I'm done with it.  Realising that all this time we who have had gropefests and all sorts of unpolite fun together have had a silent but watching and disapproving public all the time, frankly freaks me out. I didn't come to Elli to piss people off, and obviously that's what I have been doing for three months straight. So even if everybody pretend nothing have happened, I'm not going to enjoy writing anything there again.

As for the chat. I'm not going to have a window open all day for the chat and keep watching it in case someone asks me something when I have half a dozen other windows up too plus other stuff to take care of. Because in the chat I'm supposedly present for communication. I didn't feel that pressure in the SB.

I hope this clarifies my decision.

Offline Hunter

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #29 on: April 25, 2008, 07:17:37 PM »
Calm down, please.

And two, because the Shoutbox serves a purpose in that it gets significant use and does not appear to detract significantly from posting rates (at least compared to complaints of other forum owners). I'll probably be redoing it entirely to be easier to hide.

I also want an easier venue for guests to ask questions. Something visible on the front page of the site may help that.

Isn't that what the guest forums are supposed to be for?

Offline Xillen

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #30 on: April 25, 2008, 07:19:28 PM »
Isn't that what the guest forums are supposed to be for?

They seem to feel... very official. People hesitate to post there.

An SB-like thing on the main page could help, but I foresee a LOT of advertisement and spam in there. Heavy moderation would be required. I'd be willing to assist on that, though, if that's what would happen.

Offline Elvi

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #31 on: April 25, 2008, 07:22:04 PM »
'Petulant child'? Try 'sad adult'. To me, the shoutbox has been the Elli equivalent of Cheers. Flirting, laughter, shenanigans, people going in and leaving within a minute. No big discussions to disturb, noone who appears to be there but don't answer because they are busy in a private communication. Outside the threads, the SB was the best feature Elli had to offer me. But I'm done with it.  Realising that all this time we who have had gropefests and all sorts of unpolite fun together have had a silent but watching and disapproving public all the time, frankly freaks me out. I didn't come to Elli to piss people off, and obviously that's what I have been doing for three months straight. So even if everybody pretend nothing have happened, I'm not going to enjoy writing anything there again.

As for the chat. I'm not going to have a window open all day for the chat and keep watching it in case someone asks me something when I have half a dozen other windows up too plus other stuff to take care of. Because in the chat I'm supposedly present for communication. I didn't feel that pressure in the SB.

I hope this clarifies my decision.

Well Calico, it certainly wasn't myself who was 'watching sliently'.
In fact I believe we had a conversation about the shout box via PM shortly after you joined us?

It seems to me that no-one here is capable of either having a chat or even a silly conversation without having to bring in sex or molesting someone in some way...

Offline Captain Maltese

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #32 on: April 25, 2008, 07:27:03 PM »
It seems to me that no-one here is capable of either having a chat or even a silly conversation without having to bring in sex or molesting someone in some way...

This IS a site for adult roleplay. Perhaps it's no wonder we tend to bring that mindset along to the other parts of our communication?

Offline Xillen

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #33 on: April 25, 2008, 07:28:57 PM »
This IS a site for adult roleplay. Perhaps it's no wonder we tend to bring that mindset along to the other parts of our communication?

Roleplaying in a form other than chat cyber is the norm here. The shoutbox actually gives people the wrong impression about that, which is the main concern.

Offline Captain Maltese

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #34 on: April 25, 2008, 07:33:09 PM »
Roleplaying in a form other than chat cyber is the norm here. The shoutbox actually gives people the wrong impression about that, which is the main concern.

While I agree that it gives the wrong impression from the outside, my impression from this debate is that the main concern is that the activities there are considered frivolous - the word gropefest has been mentioned a number of times - and therefore undesirable for the members who wish to use the SB for other purposes.

Offline Elvi

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #35 on: April 25, 2008, 07:45:42 PM »
Not frivolous Calico, rude, offencive and indecent at times....

I have gone onto the shout box, simply wanting to chat, say hello to some that were on there and have literally been molested.
On one occasion I was greeted with *Gropes Elvi's T*ts and sticks hand in her panties* and that was in answer to 'good morning folks'.

I have seen new members 'molested' in similar ways, become very upset about it and it was I who was 'censured' when I lost my temper over the matter.

Don't forget, when talking to someone in the shout box, you are talking to that person and not a character.
Would you do and say in real life what you do and say in the shout box, would you speak in that manner on an introduction or on another OOC part of the open site?

 

Offline SheronaTopic starter

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #36 on: April 25, 2008, 07:47:26 PM »
I really didnt want to get into this, or I would have put this in rants and raves. However.

Nope. I have been driven from the SB because of the groping. Why you might ask? Because everytim I hae stuck my head in there to say hi to someone NOT groping everyone in sight, suddenly my breasts were being "fondled" or I have been "groped" Just by random people...its much like sticking your head into a night club looking for a friend and a bunch of drunks start pawing at you.

Now that hasn't happened recently no...I don't know if its because of the well typed out suggestions about avoiding despair or if it is simply because i keep SB turned off more then On.


And yes this site ALLOWS for adult rp...but that is not ALL this site is. That is the impression that posting this suggestion was to avoid. This site was created for literary rp, not just to have sex with anything that actually moves in chat form. I am sorry if this is snarkish but it is what it is.

Like I said, I am perfectly happy keeping SB turned off and not being comfortable using it, as long as unverifieds are not being doused with non-pg-13 stuff. *shrugs*>

Offline Hunter

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #37 on: April 25, 2008, 07:56:40 PM »
Yes, it's been a problem lately.   (And admittedly, I've been borderline as well lately.)  I think it's because it's easier to act non pg-13 in the shoutbox because it's so convienent.  I'm not going to suggest changes but I think a reminder would be appropriate to repeat offenders.

Offline Xillen

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #38 on: April 25, 2008, 07:57:33 PM »
I don't have anything to say about the shoutbox, but if you encounter that kind of actions in the chat, be sure to alert one of the channel moderators (who can be recognized by having the @ character in front of their nickname on the nicknames list to the right), and the issue will be dealt with! Fortunately, it has been rare :)

Offline Captain Maltese

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #39 on: April 25, 2008, 07:57:59 PM »
You know, when you think about it...the SB is technically just a minimalistic thread. Since we seem to have no problems with posting endless threads with word association games etc, how about making a thread called Shameless Flirting and Chatting and give it a link on the forum page? Then we who like that sort of thing can keep it there....

Offline Xillen

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #40 on: April 25, 2008, 08:00:33 PM »
That might actually be a good option! People not interested could just stay clear of that, and the people actually enjoying it, don't have to keep the "PG-13" in mind.

Offline Elvi

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #41 on: April 25, 2008, 08:01:58 PM »
Do it Calico...I've suggested it many times....*smiles*...infact I believe that it has been done before...

Offline Captain Maltese

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #42 on: April 25, 2008, 08:08:06 PM »
I could make a thread. But as soon as anyone else makes one, there's no longer a virtual shoutbox but just another endless list of quickly dying threads. It would have to be something newcomers could immediately attach to - and something we can find again without searching. At the very least it ought to be a sticky. And where'd we post it anyway? humor? on topic? off topic?

Offline Vekseid

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #43 on: April 25, 2008, 08:15:54 PM »
If someone directs a message like that at you, Elvi, please let me know and point me to where the archives list it.

A general problem with gropefests would be no different if I made it fully private and x-rated. And when people get scolded for it, they complain about the cliques that have formed here. It's a well-used feature, getting about half as many posts as the entire rest of the forum combined. I could give the sirens moderation power over it, but that wouldn't seem to be enough.

If I split it up into strictly PG-13 and R/X rated ones, then some would keep one closed, some would keep both closed, and some would keep both open, and there would be less activity in each one, making them easier to moderate. Then the only complaining I'd hear is 'why are there two!?'

Offline NightBird

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #44 on: April 25, 2008, 08:25:59 PM »
Personally, I've had it turned off since about two days after it appeared, but I never use chat, and rarely ever use an IM. I'm fine with whatever is done with SB, chat, IRC or whatever as long as I can avoid seeing it. There's no reason to go into why. I'll just leave it at it not being my 'thing'. I have no problems with gropefests or playfulness or any of the rest of it, so I think two (one for orgies, the other for casual broadcast communication), is probably the best idea. Give everybody room to enjoy what they enjoy.

Offline Cutter

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #45 on: April 26, 2008, 03:02:37 PM »
You know, when you think about it...the SB is technically just a minimalistic thread. Since we seem to have no problems with posting endless threads with word association games etc, how about making a thread called Shameless Flirting and Chatting and give it a link on the forum page? Then we who like that sort of thing can keep it there....

I'm for it. I belong to another forum that has a similar thread. Got for it, Capt. If not, I'll start it. The powers that be can let me know where I should put it.

I admit, I get caught up in the 'adult' fun in the SB. I did not realize how it offended so many. Personally, I have a thick skin and let stuff roll off my back. I tend to forget everyone is not as easy as Sunday morning like myself!!!! :D There are so many diverse people here with different personalities, so I guess some would feel offended. If I offended, I apologize.


Offline Captain Maltese

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #46 on: April 26, 2008, 04:38:35 PM »

Offline Caustic

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #47 on: April 26, 2008, 06:04:57 PM »
I have gone onto the shout box, simply wanting to chat, say hello to some that were on there and have literally been molested.
On one occasion I was greeted with *Gropes Elvi's T*ts and sticks hand in her panties* and that was in answer to 'good morning folks'.

My god, was the hand still alive!?

Offline Trieste

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Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #48 on: April 26, 2008, 10:32:21 PM »
It seems like there is a lack of communication... about our communication. The first thing I want to say is that I'm in favour of two SBs... as long as they don't clutter up the already-full main index. I don't know how you can implement it without cutting it into two panes side by side or top and bottom ... both of which have pros and cons. I hate webpage clutter, though... hate it. So hopefully if this is implemented, it'll be in a way that doesn't make things at the top feel jumbled and crowded.

That said: My main issue with the PG-13 thing is that it's been forever since I've had to pay attention to movie ratings. G, PG, PG-13, R, X ... I try not to do anything outright on the shoutboard, but I know sometimes I'll look at something and say "Hmmm... not sure if that's over the line" and end up not posting it, or posting a watered-down version of it... if I'm not wrapped up in a conversation and remember to think before I hit enter. I don't always do that... and find myself feeling bad sometimes about certain posts, especially with regards to language (I'm not the cleanest-mouthed person around, and I'm pretty sure the F-word is not PG-13). I'm an adult and have been for several years. I don't have kids to watch out for, and all my younger siblings are old enough to watch R-rated. Sometimes I'm just not sure what constitutes PG-13. That's the main problem, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who has it.

Second. I like to play. I love to flirt. I'm a huge flirt. I'm a not-easily-offended flirt. If I did something on the shoutboard such as shoving my hands down someone's panties, all they have to say is "That's not appreciated, Trieste" and from me they would get a "I'm sorry, Elvi!" and nothing more of the sort from me... especially if it was a case in which I'd gotten carried away by other carryings-on. There's no need to lose one's temper over something like that, though it can be extremely frustrating. Yes, I do see the shoutboard getting carried away, and sometimes I say something, but more often I don't. I'm not a moderator. I'm not an admin. People don't have to listen to me, and my stepping up and acting like I have a right to dictate someone else's actions on the Shoutboard - especially when I have a very tenuous hold on what constitutes PG-13 in the first place - only tends to breed resentment and annoyance. Or so it would seem.

I'm thinking that more explicit guidelines may need to be laid out for the SB, just as more explicit guidelines than "Be civil, people" had to be laid out for the forums. Part of the problem may be that there is no real official guide as to what the admins consider PG-13. Is hugging okay, but groping not? Is undefined "*gropes so-and-so*" okay but "*pats Trieste on the ass*" not acceptable? What about language? And if someone steps over the line, there are Sirens for that. They are the board mods, and I'm sure that includes the Shoutboard. All it takes is a PM to one of the lovely ladies listed as a Siren with a link to the Shout archive. "Hey, I don't think this was appropriate. Can you talk with these guys?"... and you get a simple reply of either "Thanks, I'll handle it" or "Well, this is within the rules so you're being oversensitive, here".

So, in short, rules need to be clarified and so does discomfort. Calmly saying "Hey, I don't appreciate that" can go a long way, as could clarification of the rules in place. Different people get offended by different things and react in different ways. Vive la difference, but try to accomodate it, too.

And I've spent a lot of time reading and rereading this post, trying to make sure it says what I mean without coming off as an attack on anybody, because it seems like someone always takes some sort of offence to my posts like this. I'm stating an opinion, not attacking anyone, and I used Elvi's example because she threw it out there as an example. So if something isn't worded well, I apologise in advance and hope that the points I've been trying to make are clear despite that.

Offline Greenthorn

Re: SB and Unverified members.
« Reply #49 on: April 26, 2008, 11:05:14 PM »
*wishes she had organized her thoughts like Trieste did*

Perfectly said Treiste!