Sperm Size Isn't Everything

[Spookie Monster]

Apparently sperm size is NOT everything.

Just in case you thought otherwise.

Sperm Size Isn't Everything

Contrary to common scientific belief, the length of a sperm's tail does not always determine how fast it can swim.

I just love that line; it sounds so bizarre to me.  "Contrary to common scientific belief..."  Are scientists 'round the globe really going to be stunned by this discovery?  "WHAT?  Time and time again I've concluded that the length of a sperm's tail determines how quickly it can swim.  MY WORLDVIEW IS SHATTERED!"

On the subject of sperm:

Intelligent men have better sperm: research

Intelligent men produce better quality sperm, British researchers have demonstrated.

An interesting possibility, eh?  Now if you'll excuse me, droogs and devotchkas, I have some studying to do.  I think that I'll hit some books on calculus for a few hours; perhaps afterward I'll take a stroll through a local gallery and reflect upon the Post-Impressionists.  Then, of course, there's Pagliacci and Cavalleria rusticana at the theater, then a light meal, then a few games of go, and then...*

Actually, I take issue with this:

Ms Arden said: "This does not mean that men who prefer Play-Doh to Plato always have poor sperm: the relationship we found was marginal."

I mean, yeah, I do like Plato, but WHAT THE BLANKBASTARDS IS WRONG WITH PLAY-DOH?  She'll be having a go at Legos next...

Spel


* To be fair, the article suggests that it's highly improbable that practice will improve the quality of one's sperm.  If I'd mentioned that first, however, my joke really wouldn't have worked, so...

Well hung!