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Author Topic: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View  (Read 101879 times)

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Offline Athos

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #750 on: July 01, 2012, 10:21:39 PM »
Hey everyone, just stopping by to deliver some hugs to any in need. :) *hugs*

Offline CelticWings

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #751 on: July 05, 2012, 04:53:47 PM »
So... I typed out this great big post about all the things that are depressing me right now. This isn't it. I also almost sent a PM to one of you wonderful people (I won't say who). Again, I didn't.

Why?

Because I'm a serious introvert with absolutely no sense of self-worth or self-esteem, who never reaches out to anyone anymore after being burned too many times, because I've been convinced all my life that my feelings, thoughts, and opinions are invalid anyhow.

So instead I'll just swipe a few of the free hugs. -Sighs and smuggles a couple of hugs-

Offline Oniya

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #752 on: July 05, 2012, 05:02:44 PM »
The nice thing about hugs:  They're free to give, one size fits all, and no one minds if you return them.

*slips Celtic Wings a few extra, from a fellow introvert*

Offline Adammair

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #753 on: July 10, 2012, 06:18:27 AM »
Awww... *pulls Athos, CelticWings, and Oniya into a big group hug*

Offline EternalChameleon

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #754 on: July 10, 2012, 02:48:20 PM »
I have read through a few pages of this, and I have nodded my head and almost felt a sense of relief for once... knowing I truly am not alone in how I feel, and that I am not -wrong- for how I feel. 

Depression has been a major part of my being for many years.  I am 25 now, and it must have started weaning it's way into my life around 15 or so.  Looking back, I know there have been parts of my life that have been blacked out due to pain.  People that only hurt me in life, situations I care not to relive.... Words I care not to hear again.  Though, even with all of this blacked out of my life, there still seems to be an underlying pain that will not just "black out" of my head, and weighs me down every day.  We all know what that is...

My depression hit me the hardest back in '08.  I was on birth control to regulate my cycle, and being a smoker for years and almost 2.5 packs a day at that point in time due to stress, well.... Blood clot in my left lung happened.  The pain was the most intense horrible pain I have ever physically felt in my life.  And the reason why this made me hit rock bottom?  Within a period of 4 months, I gained over 100 lbs, I quit bathing myself more than once a month, and I gave up on life.  I was a complete and total mess.  I have always been big, but not that big. 

Weight, no self worth, all of that was a big reasoning to my depression, but another big thing was my gender issue.  All of my life I have absolutely loathed my body and who I physically was.  Speaking of "God"... how could he give me a female anatomy if he is so wonderful.... It must have been punishment for a former life is the conclusion I have come to.  But you know, through all of that, I have to say I am not religious at all either.  I am Agnostic at best if you must label me, but I suppose when you put it all together, and you think... with all the physical pain and the lack of support RL from those around you, who do you have?  Me.  I have me.  But I don't like me... so in the end it's like Depression is this vicious cycle of pain and loss. 

About a week ago, something happened in my life that made me re-live one of those blacked-out memories.  I will not go into detail, but I will say that you can probably guess that I am at one of the lower points of my mental stability at this point in time.  I am not allowed to go back to the stress center because I will lose my job due to "Mental instability".... I am 25 years old with a part time job, a van that I don't have the title for and haven't for more than 9 months now.... I barely make enough to keep gas in the van, and I live with my father and his wife and her family.  My mother has been MIA since I was 2, my family is spread over the east coast and I am stuck in the midwest - which I loathe- and I am biologically female.  Some tell me.... You are breathing, be happy.  Well, to be honest with you, I would rather not be breathing at some points, to be honest with you.  I am sure you all understand that sentiment.  And yet here I am... spilling my mind out on a screen for people that I have never met, and am trying to impress enough to roleplay with. 

I wish to give you major Kudos, Rhedyn for this blog about your personal battle with depression.  I did not mean to take over by any means, I guess I just write too much.  That is my experience in a nutshell without too much detail. 

*grabs all the offered hugs, and while lavishing, smiles and opens arms to dispense free hugs to others that may need them as well. *

If you read this, I would just like to say thank you for the time.  I do not mean to weigh anyone's day down.  I just wanted to share my personal point of view as well.  It took an act of something holy to get me out of bed this afternoon.  My heart goes out to everyone in my position, that has been in my position, or knows anyone going through it.  Depression is a tough thing to live through, but somehow... I guess so long as I can get out of bed in the morning there is some sort of hope out there to live for.  And I am waiting for it.

Offline CelticWings

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #755 on: July 10, 2012, 04:13:38 PM »
Blood clot in my left lung happened.  The pain was the most intense horrible pain I have ever physically felt in my life.

I know exactly how this feels, only mine were in my right lung and that was the single most terrifying night of my life. That same night I found out I was pregnant with my son, and I was so afraid that the treatments and tests I went through would somehow hurt him before he was even born.

At the time, I thought that brush with death would give me a more positive outlook on life. It didn't - I've found that things still look just as bleak at times, some days worse than others, and this past week has been positively horrible for me. I'm still waiting for things to get better, because I don't have the luxury of hiding away in bed and crying all day. I have two children to take care of, and no privacy in my current living situation (a three-bedroom apartment with the hubby, children, my parents, and older sister).

-Shares the hugs- As people always say to me, things will get better. I've learned that it's usually true, even if it's only for a day... or even as little as an hour.

Offline Adammair

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #756 on: July 10, 2012, 05:30:04 PM »
*shares the hugs, as he cannot summon the strength to give or take them* (...someone let me know if that made any sense at all, wouldja?  :D )

*takes a deep breath and collects his thoughts*

I have hope. Sometimes it is all I have. Sometimes I wonder why I survived certain things in my life, only to be left at the same point of general despair, with no purpose evident, and no bright future visible before me.

I find myself thinking about the decisions I've made, the chances I have taken and those I haven't, the paths I've traveled, and I ask myself 'Why? Why in the world do I continue on, when everything I've done seems to be a mistake?' I ponder the randomness of life, and question what would be, if things had been different.

I realize that I will likely feel this way for the rest of my life, and that thought depresses me even further.

But...

I take a look around and see the things that are positive, that I do have in my life, and, though it might not comfort me the way I'd like it to, I know that there are opposites in all things...and without one, how could we truly appreciate the other? Without the sadness, what would happiness be? Without the dark, how could there be light?

I hope this serves as a beacon of hope for others...and that as others add their own light to it, it may shine the brighter.

*musters up a small smile, and offers it to all who need it, praying that it lightens their spirits*

Offline colerie1974

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #757 on: July 10, 2012, 05:55:52 PM »
I try to look at the positive things in my life daily, especially when the bad ones start to weigh me down. I am usually always depressed about something and have been the bigger part of my adult life. I deal with guilt, feelings of inadequacy, and ptsd...just to name a few. I have to force myself sometimes to not let the darkness overtake me, and it helps to look at the good things in my life.

Thanks, Adam for sharing! It made me smile!

Offline EternalChameleon

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #758 on: July 10, 2012, 06:23:11 PM »
Celtic - Yes, it is the worst pain ever.  And I can understand where you may have feared that, due to having to ingest rat poison in very small doses (coumadin, pretty much the same thing)  every day to thin your blood and get that blood clot to break down.  Wondering if you are going to die, or if it will take care of itself.  I guess I never looked at it at that point in time, but that was definitely a near brush with death and I survived for whatever reason.  But as you all say, that doesn't change how we feel. 

Adam - Thank you for opening up as well, thank you all for opening up.  I totally get what you are saying in the way of forcing onesself to see SOMETHING positive, and while it may be an effort to do such, it does help in the end.  I may not have the title to my van, but I have wheels (for now) to take me where I need to go, when I DO have gas.  I DO have a job, I could be jobless.  I DO have a roof over my head, even if it is my father's.  Thing about all that though... is even though I have it all, it's not -mine-.  I help pay TOWARD the bills, but I don't pay the bills and the house isn't in my name.  The van, not legally in my name.  I had a Town Car that was stolen last year.  That was the -only- thing I had to show for my 25 years of living that was all mine through and through.  I worked on getting it, bought it with my money, it was in my name and I am the one that repaired everything on it.  Then it was taken and burned. 

And Colerie- I get that too.  I don't know that I can really speak too much on PTSD, but I can tell you that I can surely share how you are feeling with inadequacy and the sort.  No matter what I do in life, it seems someone always has to do better or it just isn't good enough for anyone.  I am not quite sure why we have to put ourselves through this, but it happens all the time. 

I think the worst part of the depression... is the thought that not only am I down, not only do I see no way out.... In the back of my mind I do know what I have to do, where I need to go and how to get there to fix it all.  But regardless of my knowing this... It never seems to fail in my lacking the drive to do these things.  Mainly because it just seems too hard to do them.  I have disgust and dread when wanting to.  But then I sit back at times and shake my head, evaluating how easy something is that could have been done and out of the way, but I felt that it was an act of GOD to get me to do it at that time. 

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #759 on: July 31, 2012, 07:45:05 AM »
I am not in a good place right now, and positive nice sayings ... It isn't comforting to me right now- the words I have said many times to others, doesn't seem to help. I am in a black fog, and I seem to have lost my way. I haven't been this low in months if not longer- I am at a loss. I feel like the battle is over and I lost this round, am sure it'll get worse before it gets better.

Offline Adammair

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #760 on: July 31, 2012, 08:05:49 AM »
I am not in a good place right now, and positive nice sayings ... It isn't comforting to me right now- the words I have said many times to others, doesn't seem to help. I am in a black fog, and I seem to have lost my way. I haven't been this low in months if not longer- I am at a loss. I feel like the battle is over and I lost this round, am sure it'll get worse before it gets better.

*hugs Sybl warmly* Re-read those last 3 words, and have faith in those 3 simple words. We care about you, and you are in our thoughts and prayers. Don't give up. Stay strong.

Offline Yotna

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #761 on: July 31, 2012, 12:37:21 PM »
*hugs Sybl warmly* Re-read those last 3 words, and have faith in those 3 simple words. We care about you, and you are in our thoughts and prayers. Don't give up. Stay strong.
Well I can't pray for you like Adammair as I'm a humanist (just a fact, no criticism of anyone) I can tell you this you are worth something, we all are. In fact, we who suffer are there to help others when it happens to them. One day you will say some thing that make a difference to some one in despair. Just imagine that, not a dream it happened to me Sybl you can and will beat this. Hugs.

Offline EternalChameleon

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #762 on: July 31, 2012, 03:53:38 PM »
I completely agree with Adammair, Sybl.  Things do get better, but as you said, things sometimes seem to have to get worse before they do get better.

Just this past week, my life went from horrible to a nightmare.  My father and I had the biggest falling out to date, aside from him beating me once, and I walked out.  The kicker is this; It took my life getting that bad, my having to live in my van for two days, and finally giving in and taking an offer from a friend that leant a hand to pick myself back up and do what needed to be done.  I have officially moved out of his house and away from the "family" I was living with.  I am paying my own way, making my own agreements, and I am getting my life back in order.  My life.  The light has finally shone at the end of my long tunnel, and it has taken more than five years, but I am finally there.  This only proves that my will to keep trucking and trying to survive no matter how rough life may get, was the best choice I could ever make. 

This does not mean that I am "cured" and all of my depression has been wiped away, "go me".  No, no.  In fact, this is only the beginning of my journey in self-improvement and healing.  This is merely the stepping stone to a better life.  You have to take baby steps before you can have the full thing.  You cannot let yourself fall down and give up because you tripped, the stairs look to steep or there seems to be no end to that tunnel.  You may only move so much at a time, but in the end you will get where you need to be.

Offline Adammair

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #763 on: July 31, 2012, 04:21:18 PM »
*nods in most sincere agreement with Yotna and EternalChameleon* I second the statement that we can only move so much at a time, but you will get where you need to be...as long as you continue moving forward, and don't stop. There's a saying that comes to mind: "When you're going through Hell...keep going." If you do, you will most certainly make it out, better than you were before. *smiles*

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #764 on: July 31, 2012, 04:59:11 PM »
*hugs Sybl warmly* Re-read those last 3 words, and have faith in those 3 simple words. We care about you, and you are in our thoughts and prayers. Don't give up. Stay strong.
Well I can't pray for you like Adammair as I'm a humanist (just a fact, no criticism of anyone) I can tell you this you are worth something, we all are. In fact, we who suffer are there to help others when it happens to them. One day you will say some thing that make a difference to some one in despair. Just imagine that, not a dream it happened to me Sybl you can and will beat this. Hugs.
I completely agree with Adammair, Sybl.  Things do get better, but as you said, things sometimes seem to have to get worse before they do get better.

Just this past week, my life went from horrible to a nightmare.  My father and I had the biggest falling out to date, aside from him beating me once, and I walked out.  The kicker is this; It took my life getting that bad, my having to live in my van for two days, and finally giving in and taking an offer from a friend that leant a hand to pick myself back up and do what needed to be done.  I have officially moved out of his house and away from the "family" I was living with.  I am paying my own way, making my own agreements, and I am getting my life back in order.  My life.  The light has finally shone at the end of my long tunnel, and it has taken more than five years, but I am finally there.  This only proves that my will to keep trucking and trying to survive no matter how rough life may get, was the best choice I could ever make. 

This does not mean that I am "cured" and all of my depression has been wiped away, "go me".  No, no.  In fact, this is only the beginning of my journey in self-improvement and healing.  This is merely the stepping stone to a better life.  You have to take baby steps before you can have the full thing.  You cannot let yourself fall down and give up because you tripped, the stairs look to steep or there seems to be no end to that tunnel.  You may only move so much at a time, but in the end you will get where you need to be.
*nods in most sincere agreement with Yotna and EternalChameleon* I second the statement that we can only move so much at a time, but you will get where you need to be...as long as you continue moving forward, and don't stop. There's a saying that comes to mind: "When you're going through Hell...keep going." If you do, you will most certainly make it out, better than you were before. *smiles*

I appreciate all of you.. I do,
but the whole thing is, at the mercy of yet another- this time, once again no mercy is found. Not this time..
For those who do not know me yet, this is who and what I am: D.i.D
Out of pure desperation, and fear, and pain worse than you can imagine I wrote a cry of help to Ellen DeGeneres, because I am literally at the end of my hope rope. I have prayed, asked churches to pray for a miracle, and none comes. My leg from a fall and a wooden stake puncturing it, 60 stitches and 5 years later is worse than it has ever been, It feels like someone has used a Brillo pad on it and poured straight alcohol over the wounds.
I have begged the doctors 6 of them for an MRI- to see why over and over and over for 5 years, all these eruptions of ulcerations and oozing and infection, since my fall in that garden in 2007, which gave me 50 outer stitches and 10 for the puncture inside my calf.
It keeps happening. For 5 years- 4 of them, I was not a diabetic, so they used the excuse, I needed to go back to the original doctor, he now lives in Hawaii, and has for years. I live in Pennsylvania. Now that I have diabetes, they say wounds don't heal fast with diabetics. But not one will do a damn MRI- which can see things X Rays cannot! I went to med school- I am not stupid, I know there has to be an underlying cause for this leg not to be healing right.
So, now it is worse,  my skin is falling off my leg in big peeling pieces leaving raw flesh, that burns like fire, am self medicating with triple antibiotic ointment and bandages...and no help in sight- If gangrene sets in, they will amputate.
It could be avoided- if someone would give a damn less about insurance-money- the fact that I am insignificant to them!
I see no goodness coming from this. In my life time I have been hit by a drunk 77 year old woman while riding my bicycle in a park -a 10mph speed limit, and she hits me at around 50 mph...I have had 4 spinal injuries alone, and nothing compares to that. I don't want to lose my leg- I am doing everything I can to save it, and the medical association could give a rats ass.
Tell me, Is it... only going to get better?

Offline EternalChameleon

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #765 on: July 31, 2012, 05:29:17 PM »
Exactly, Adammair.  When I moved in here at my friend's house, I was super stressed out, had no color to me, I couldn't eat and showers were so rare I absolutely wouldn't want to be around anyone in fear of being smelly and nasty to them. 

The morning I woke up in my van in the McDonald's parking lot, I realized I had one of three options... 1 - I could sit here and mull in self pity, and end it all.  The coward's way out and end it all, be done, kill myself and be done with it, fuck the van and my dead body with all my belongings.  2 - I could go back to that environment in which I would continue to be riduculed, cast out as the black sheep and put under immense bouts of stress to the point I would lose everything because I felt I should just check into the local stress "mental health" center, which being a security guard would make me lose my job.  Losing my job would make me lose it all.  I would just give up.  or 3 - Go to that friend that had open arms and start over. 

Chosing that third option was the best choice I have ever made in my life.  I took a shower, got a good night's of peacful rest, was able to eat and for once, the most important part; I was smiling. 

Hell, all of my belongings as we speak are still sitting down there in my van.  I literally just got everything cleaned out of that room so that I could move in.  I still have issues at work because my boss is my father's wife's son.  I only have 13 dollars to my name, and a quarter tank of gas until next Friday.  Half of my clothing is over at my dad's place, which I refuse to go get because I count that as a simple material loss for mental happiness, and my soul mate Real Life lives over 700 miles away from me.  I am living in a state I cannot stand.  The one person that I held as my God, my Idol... my Hero... is the one person right now that I cannot even stand being in his presence because I have seen his true colors. 

I can go on and on about all the other continuous problems in my life, like how my van still is illegal from my not having the title, thus having an expired tag not even registered to that van, or how I have one month to get that van legal or I will go to court.  But in the end... one step at a time, I will get there.  I am out of that situation, and I am taking care of myself.  It is OK to have friends support and help.  The point here is, you are leading, not expecting to have your hand held through it all.  Support and encouragement, HELP, is not dependancy.  It is being human. 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alright all that was being typed while you posted this last post, so I have to mention something...

While we all may not know what you are going through, and you have truly gone through some very strenuous physical altercations to your body, as well as the emotional turmoil to accomany it, you are breathing right now. 

Now, before you flip out, just give me a moment to explain my view on this, ok?  I am not trying to tell you to get over it, no no far from.  I would never tell anyone to just "get over it" be it physical or mental, or in your case, both.  However...

The fact that you have gone through all that in your lifespan - and that is far more than the average Joe, mind you. Hell, that is even more than -some- military heros endure - and you are still sitting here, typing, breathing and reaching out for our opinions, just shows how strong you are.

Trauma is not an easy thing to move through, emotional or physical.  I know from experience in my -own- traumatic situations how hard it is.  But to have your situation, ten times more agonizing than anything I myself and majority of the population have never been through, you have absolutely no idea how strong you really are right now.  It takes strength first and foremost to openly admit on a public forum all that you have to face every day.  Secondly, the strength in which you have succeeded in surviving this far to this point to even tell us about is not only mind bending, it is absolutely astounding.  In fact, You are a person people can learn from, they can look to, and realize... if you can survive, then so can they. 

I am not saying to anyone here or even myself that hell, look we are whining and here she goes dealing with all that!  Everyone sees things different, some more severe than others.  But you, Sybl... You are a very very strong woman.  You are a woman that has not only gone through nightmares most couldn't or wouldn't even dream of having to endure, you are still reaching out to find a way to keep going. 

You want to keep going.  You want to fix that leg and keep the ability to walk naturally, the ability to be at the very least asthetically "normal"... but you know what may happen, and you are still alive knowing this.  You are still trying to find the "strength" within yourself to accept and keep going.  YOu don't HAVE to find that, Sybl, you already have it.  What you need to do, is find something that shows you that you are already on the track to getting back to "life"... but for everything we want, sometimes we have to sacrifice. 

Back to my own situation, be it rather trivial to some if you will, I sacrificed my relationship with my father and "family" as well as half my material posessions to move past and get back on track.  One step at a time... I truly wish Ellen would help.  Hell, I would if I could. 

*offers a warm hug for you to chose to take or refuse.*  Please... for yourself, do NOT give up.  Do not let them win.  Do not let life win.  Fight, fight for yourself.  Fight and show the world how strong you are. 

Offline Karasu

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #766 on: August 08, 2012, 12:14:32 PM »
I deal with it too, every single day of my life. Playing games and roleplaying helps some for me.

We will prosper,
we will prevail.
Depression will one day fall,
on this I sware!

Offline Ariabella

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #767 on: August 09, 2012, 01:12:46 PM »
*hugs to everyone*

So nearly four months later, everything has gotten worse. Everything I try to do to make things better backfires. So still no car, have the learner's permit but now it appears the person who was going to teach me is not going to and on the pittance I earn, I certainly can't afford to pay anyone. People are backing out left and right on taking me anywhere and if  I have to pay a cab, it's just not worth it because that will be most of my check. And it will certainly mean I can't go to medical appointments because they will be way too pricey. Everything has ceased to be worth the fight. No light at the end of the tunnel and I'm sick of either being at work or stuck here at the house. Haven't even been able to go get my paycheck this week because the person who was supposed to take me hasn't called me about when we're going. No future, nothing ultimately on the other side, so why bother? I'm going in debt for college and you can bet I won't find anything afterwards. Oh and did I mention that I'll probably get let go soon? *sighs*

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #768 on: August 10, 2012, 03:05:06 AM »
*Hugs to everyone*

Sorry to hear of your troubles Ariabella. I didn't think there would ever be any light after this past drop. But it came, and I hope yours will too, when you need it the most.

I finally got a wound care specialist, as I took EternalChameleon's advice. I didn't give up. Instead, I took my problem to a higher authority, and in turn, got the results I needed. I will be having the MRI, I have a new doctor, who was appalled at the past treatment or I should say, lack of treatment I received. I finally got pain meds for the injuries of my spine. This will enable me to walk more. This is all I ever wanted was to be in less pain so that I could keep walking.
I want to thank everyone for their encouragement, to not give up. It paid off.


Offline Adammair

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #769 on: August 10, 2012, 07:05:36 PM »
*sigh* Right now, I just want everything to be over, done, finished. I've had enough of the stress of living life, and I feel worthless...like I'm a waste of space, and breathing air that could be useful to someone else. I know...or at least hope...that this will pass, but in the grip of depression, I don't see a way out. I have no energy, nor the motivation, to do something that might make me feel better, like exercising, because of the fear that it will hurt, since I haven't exercised in quite some time.

I can't even find the words to express what I'm going through right now, this feeling of complete and overwhelming hopelessness.

I am at the point of giving up, and just laying somewhere out of the way for the next several days until I die of thirst or hunger, whichever comes first. I don't know what to do.

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #770 on: August 10, 2012, 07:13:30 PM »
*sigh* Right now, I just want everything to be over, done, finished. I've had enough of the stress of living life, and I feel worthless...like I'm a waste of space, and breathing air that could be useful to someone else. I know...or at least hope...that this will pass, but in the grip of depression, I don't see a way out. I have no energy, nor the motivation, to do something that might make me feel better, like exercising, because of the fear that it will hurt, since I haven't exercised in quite some time.

I can't even find the words to express what I'm going through right now, this feeling of complete and overwhelming hopelessness.

I am at the point of giving up, and just laying somewhere out of the way for the next several days until I die of thirst or hunger, whichever comes first. I don't know what to do.

As I know it won't do you any good to tell you you're worth a lot more than the place you take and the air that you breath, I think I rather advice you to just not give up and take life a minute at the time. Don't think about tomorrow, not even the next hour, just breathe and keep going. I know exactly what kind of feelings you're going through, but I can also say that if you just keep on holding on you will reach the light again. Take care of your body, even if your mind doesn't want to. Keep it running, that's all.

Offline CelticWings

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #771 on: August 10, 2012, 07:29:58 PM »
*sigh* Right now, I just want everything to be over, done, finished. I've had enough of the stress of living life, and I feel worthless...like I'm a waste of space, and breathing air that could be useful to someone else.

This. Exactly this. I couldn't put it better if I tried.

-Takes a hug and wishes the world would just go away-

Offline Adammair

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #772 on: August 10, 2012, 07:32:22 PM »
*hugs CelticWings with all the warmth he can muster, in the hopes that he can somehow ease someone else's burden*

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #773 on: August 10, 2012, 08:08:20 PM »
*sigh* Right now, I just want everything to be over, done, finished. I've had enough of the stress of living life, and I feel worthless...like I'm a waste of space, and breathing air that could be useful to someone else. I know...or at least hope...that this will pass, but in the grip of depression, I don't see a way out. I have no energy, nor the motivation, to do something that might make me feel better, like exercising, because of the fear that it will hurt, since I haven't exercised in quite some time.

I can't even find the words to express what I'm going through right now, this feeling of complete and overwhelming hopelessness.

I am at the point of giving up, and just laying somewhere out of the way for the next several days until I die of thirst or hunger, whichever comes first. I don't know what to do.

My dear friend Adammair, just a short time ago, I was at the end of what I wanted of life,mdid you not say these words to me below..?


*nods in most sincere agreement with Yotna and EternalChameleon* I second the statement that we can only move so much at a time, but you will get where you need to be...as long as you continue moving forward, and don't stop. There's a saying that comes to mind: "When you're going through Hell...keep going." If you do, you will most certainly make it out, better than you were before. *smiles*

I did, and you will too.. listen to your caring friends here. Please.. don't give up.

Please.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #774 on: August 10, 2012, 08:11:00 PM »
This. Exactly this. I couldn't put it better if I tried.

-Takes a hug and wishes the world would just go away-
I say the same to you Celtic Wings- the world can be a lovely thing in the right places of our time in it.

Don't give up.

You all are precious to me, even when life seems not so precious.