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Author Topic: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View  (Read 101851 times)

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Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #650 on: March 04, 2012, 08:55:52 AM »
Leaves Good Thoughts and Hugs for all

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #651 on: March 20, 2012, 10:17:09 AM »
I hope that everyone is doing ok :)

*leaves fresh hugs and love*

Offline Daggermouth

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #652 on: March 20, 2012, 02:52:20 PM »
Newcomer here- seems like you take good care of one another around here, it's nice to see.

Is this an appropriate place to bring 'Entirely failing to deal with partner's depression', or would that be a bit of an intrusion? Please don't feel like you have to humour me, regulars,  I'm asking because I don't want to wind anyone up.

Offline Modern Fairy Tale

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #653 on: March 20, 2012, 08:19:45 PM »
I occationally spout off here... trying to offer help when I can.  Complaining about my own 'heavy' condition at least once.  I think the most important answer to such a question is if you are wanting to learn more about what people like your parents are going through... or if you are wanting to offer a 'devil's advocate' side of how other people... happy, relatively normal people... might feel or think about something.  You seem like a good chap from across the pond... nice and polite and asking nicely if such topics can be breached, so I am inclined to think of you the first way.

With that, let me be the first to welcome you aboard.  We are many... we have a lot of dark stuff to say... we try and support each other.  Everone sooner or later hates themselves periodicly, so a little freindly advice or support can go a long way here.  Its nice that you didnt inherit your parents condition.  I kind of inherited a bit of both my parents quirks... my mothers depression and my fathers OCD tendencies.  Perhaps learning from them has somehow toughed you in some way and made you a stronger person.  Kudos to you, sir.  I hope you find our blog an enlightening thread to follow.

Peace.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #654 on: March 21, 2012, 04:38:21 AM »
Newcomer here- seems like you take good care of one another around here, it's nice to see.

Is this an appropriate place to bring 'Entirely failing to deal with partner's depression', or would that be a bit of an intrusion? Please don't feel like you have to humour me, regulars,  I'm asking because I don't want to wind anyone up.


Welcome :) I created this blog as a way for people suffering with depression to connect and also hopefully as a way for others who do not suffer to be able to read and understand a little about what happens, if nothing else then just to raise awareness. The support extends to anyone affected by depression not just those that suffer directly with it.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #655 on: March 21, 2012, 01:57:45 PM »
Newcomer here- seems like you take good care of one another around here, it's nice to see.

Is this an appropriate place to bring 'Entirely failing to deal with partner's depression', or would that be a bit of an intrusion? Please don't feel like you have to humour me, regulars,  I'm asking because I don't want to wind anyone up.

Welcome Daggermouth,
you will find a bunch of this and that here as said below no worries about winding me up, I wind myself up ;) .

*drops off hugs*


Offline Daggermouth

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #656 on: March 21, 2012, 05:10:14 PM »
Thank you Modern, Rhedyn, Sybl; how welcoming of you. I'm here to learn things. Even just reading through has helped me see this thing a little more clearly.

I'll try my best to steer clear of just dropping by to complain- the two things overlap, but what I'm trying to do is find a way to say the right thing, or at least understand why I'm never going to say the right thing. Maybe doing this here is a weird way to start, but I grew up with five brothers, and don't have the kind of mates who do talking and understanding... I have the kind that do drinking lager. Sometimes we talk about football. We're not big on respecting anyone else's feelings- and it turns out I need to learn how.

@ MFT; I'm the first type. I hope. Most of the time. I'm trying to understand what's happening in her head so that I can stop making it vastly more dramatic and worse, which is pretty much my superpower right now.

She does know that I'm discussing this stuff here, incidentally.

That said, if anyone feels like I'm being disrespectful or just moaning, please take me to task about it. I'm a big boy, I can take criticism, and I really don't intend to offend anyone.

My partner, by the way, not my parents, although I can see why you read it that way. Bit old to live with my folks, bit old to call anyone my 'girlfriend', heh.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #657 on: March 21, 2012, 05:20:30 PM »
*shushes Daggermouth with duct tape*

we don't curse in here  :P age is just a number, so yeah say girlfriend if you want too ;D

You are welcome to vent, complain, stress out, be happy, pass hugs and good thoughts or just post hey I need a hug, or something along those lines.

Meaning, no matter what, you are welcome, respect us we respect you, hug us we hug you...and our PM boxes are open to any one, anytime.

*rapidly removes duct tape from Daggermouth's mouth and flees*  XD

Offline Daggermouth

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #658 on: March 21, 2012, 05:24:08 PM »
Who's cursing? Did I miss something?

Offline Oniya

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #659 on: March 21, 2012, 05:31:09 PM »
If you did, so did I.  Unless she was saying that one's 'age' is a 'dirty word'.

*remembers the 70's, s'there.*

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #660 on: March 21, 2012, 08:27:09 PM »
Who's cursing? Did I miss something?

I was  kidding.. cursing- age, I meant it as a joke.. My apologies :(

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #661 on: March 21, 2012, 08:28:00 PM »
If you did, so did I.  Unless she was saying that one's 'age' is a 'dirty word'.

*remembers the 70's, s'there.*
Yes.. it was the age thing.. again, my apologies

Offline Oniya

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #662 on: March 21, 2012, 08:42:06 PM »
It's all good, Sybl.  :-)  Minor confusion, easily fixed.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #663 on: March 21, 2012, 08:43:03 PM »
Thank you Oniya

Offline Adammair

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #664 on: March 21, 2012, 09:16:57 PM »
I had a funny feeling I'd find you here, Sybl. ;) Literally, I did. I was doing something else, and the thought crossed my mind that I bet Sybl is replying to the depression blog, right now, and, lo and behold, here you are.

I need a hug, at the very least. Anyone care to share one?

I had this long post prepared, which I promptly deleted, because it even scared me, but suffice it to say I have not had the best luck lately. And all of it has been in little, tiny, annoying doses that are driving me mad.

*sigh* I may be back shortly with that post, after all.

Also, welcome, Daggermouth. All I can offer for your situation, right now, is to tell you to do what you can to keep that spark of hope alive for your girlfriend. Speaking as one who suffers from bipolar disorder (manic depression), I can say that a depressed mind tends to focus on 'what if' and tends to ignore the positive things, in favor of the negative outcomes. If you can spare the time, I would suggest going for a walk with your girlfriend, and simply listen to what she does or does not have to say about how she's feeling, without judgment.

My Dad put it best, I think, when he told me that men are doers, and so their first instinct when someone comes to them with a problem is to think 'okay, what can I do about this problem?' and to seek a solution to it. With depression, the best thing to do is listen, and remind the person of the positive things that are going on. Granted, that's not always easy, but it is the most logical explanation that I've heard. Hope that helps.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #665 on: March 21, 2012, 09:20:57 PM »
I had a funny feeling I'd find you here, Sybl. ;) Literally, I did. I was doing something else, and the thought crossed my mind that I bet Sybl is replying to the depression blog, right now, and, lo and behold, here you are.

I need a hug, at the very least. Anyone care to share one?

I had this long post prepared, which I promptly deleted, because it even scared me, but suffice it to say I have not had the best luck lately. And all of it has been in little, tiny, annoying doses that are driving me mad.

*sigh* I may be back shortly with that post, after all.

Also, welcome, Daggermouth. All I can offer for your situation, right now, is to tell you to do what you can to keep that spark of hope alive for your girlfriend. Speaking as one who suffers from bipolar disorder (manic depression), I can say that a depressed mind tends to focus on 'what if' and tends to ignore the positive things, in favor of the negative outcomes. If you can spare the time, I would suggest going for a walk with your girlfriend, and simply listen to what she does or does not have to say about how she's feeling, without judgment.

My Dad put it best, I think, when he told me that men are doers, and so their first instinct when someone comes to them with a problem is to think 'okay, what can I do about this problem?' and to seek a solution to it. With depression, the best thing to do is listen, and remind the person of the positive things that are going on. Granted, that's not always easy, but it is the most logical explanation that I've heard. Hope that helps.

*Shares a hug with Adammair*

Offline Adammair

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #666 on: March 21, 2012, 09:25:24 PM »
*hugs Sybl* Thanks...

Now I feel bad because I forgot to put a close tag on the italics... *facepalms* ;D

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #667 on: March 21, 2012, 09:29:36 PM »
Well.. you know me, I just hug and run.. ha ha I mean,...um  ::)

Offline Oniya

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #668 on: March 21, 2012, 09:46:27 PM »
*shares hugs, too*

I had this long post prepared, which I promptly deleted, because it even scared me, but suffice it to say I have not had the best luck lately. And all of it has been in little, tiny, annoying doses that are driving me mad.

The little nibbly 'things going wrong' situations are sometimes even harder than the giant catastrophes, in my opinion.  At least with me, I keep feeling like 'I should be able to deal with X.  X isn't that bad.'  Only, then you have to repeat that with Y, Z, Q, V, G, and J. 

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #669 on: March 22, 2012, 11:29:42 AM »
I would like a hug if any can be shared please.

Offline Adammair

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #670 on: March 22, 2012, 11:33:47 AM »
Certainly. Please allow me to be the first... *shares one of his warmest hugs*

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #671 on: March 22, 2012, 11:50:22 AM »
*hugs Night and Adam pulling them into a hug pile*

Offline Daggermouth

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #672 on: March 22, 2012, 02:28:30 PM »
Sorry, Sybl- don't know how I didn't get that!

Hugs to Night Stalker, Adammair and them as need them. Sorry to hear that you've been down, and glad there's so many people here for you who are less awkward at offering virtual hugs than me, heh.

Adammair, it's so strange that you should repeat what your Dad says to you, because it's something I'm constantly told. She says she feels as though I'm trying to fix everything, as though she's a job I have to do. I don't mean it that way, but your Dad's right-

Quote
men are doers, and so their first instinct when someone comes to them with a problem is to think 'okay, what can I do about this problem?' and to seek a solution to it.

...about some men, anyway. That is what I'm thinking. I don't mean to try and control her or judge her, I just want to help- like I think she might feel better, or sleep better, or something, if she got out of bed, got out the house. Okay, I can hear that it sounds judgmental when I say it, but I don't mean it that way. I'm trying to make up for lost time and learn emotional literacy as a grown man. 'Listening without judgment' is this week's resolution.

Offline sexygrl08

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #673 on: March 22, 2012, 06:26:07 PM »
I just read your first post in this blog and I myself am going through that right now.I don't know for sure what's causing it,but I'm pretty sure its emotional buildup from February 2011 when I was almost killed in a car accident.I think it was brave of you to make that first post.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #674 on: March 23, 2012, 04:59:37 AM »
Thank you sexygrl08 and welcome to the blog. I'm sorry to hear about your accident last year and I hope you're recovering well. Good luck on your approval :)

*offers hugs