So...I found this thread and I dropped the little green monster thingy in my sig because I support it, you guys and this thread. Partly because I certainly can relate to the message.
I come from a bit of a broken family, neither of my parents were in my life, I was raised by my grandfather since age 6, a lot of issues with my sister as she spent most of her life in and out of trouble with the law. I feel alienated from my extended family because my grandfather moved us to a town where we have to drive 2 hours just to get to our closest relatives. I admittedly do have a bit of dislike for mother's day because I never really had one in my life after my grandmother and then my grandfather's 2nd wife passed away after only two years of having been a family.
I can't say that my childhood was completely unhappy though. Adolescence was cool until I started struggling with my sexuality. While I have come to terms with it and I'm no longer keeping myself in the closet, I still haven't told my family yet and it still bugs me. It doesn't help that I come from a Christian family either. Only person I did tell was my sister who told me that she'd beat me down if I ever touched her son....because apparently being gay in her mind clicked that I was also being an incestuous pedophile I guess? I know that was just general ignorance on her part but it cut me deep. Really really deep. Mind you this was Christmas Eve 2008, so yeah. Definitely wasn't a very merry Christmas. She did apologize and said she'd accept me. Though she still thew out slick comments like how she wants me to have kids so she can have nieces and nephews...and not adopting them, but making them the old fashion way. Which doesn't sound very accepting to me, but whatevs. It's made me a bit fearful of telling any of my other relatives. It kinda affected me in school too. True, I'm a college graduate, but looking back I feel like I could have done so much better in my courses because I just kind of started drifting and doing just enough to pass in my last 2 years of college. I lost the zest I had to put effort into my work. It was so bad, my department chair person arranged for me to start seeing the counselor.
Well, despite all of that, I'm not here to vent really, but more to give encouragement to those who need it if I'm able to by sharing some of what I have been through in my life. I know I could have probably wallowed and rotted in my own misery, but I'm kind of way too stubborn of a person to give in to it at the end of the day. I've gotten by on my own will by just being thankful for what I do have; along with help from my friends. It's actually been my friends that have kept me on track and I consider a few of them family more than some of my blood relatives. After all, you don't have to share blood to be a family, right? Also from my experience I have learned that it's not good to keep things bottled up. I did that in college and it almost destroyed from the inside out. I'm not afraid to admit that I actually cried and felt some relief after having talked to my counselor. It's really important to have at least one person to be the glue that keeps you from completely falling apart when you're cracking. Even better when you have a someone like a little green monster who can just tell that you're in need of some comforting gestures and words. Also, as corny as it sounds, I have some songs that help too~ which I probably won't list then all but one in particular stands out too me:
And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete
- Go The Distance by Michael Bolton
Pretty much my theme song whenever I'm stuck in a rut and I need to push forward.
Don't underestimate the power of Disney folks. :3
So does life suck? Oh god yes, it does have it's moments. Whether you just want to punch someone in the face to get out some anger or just curl up in the corner and sob. But once you've hit rock bottom, you have no where else to go but up, even better if you have people in your life, on here and/or in other online communities to help pick you up. Each person's situation varies I know. But I still encourage those going through hard times to become the phoenix and rise from the ashes...just don't get all batshit crazy and start burning stuff up like Jean Grey (small punny joke and now my nerd is showing but meh~ lol)
So yes. Hugs, kisses, love and more hugs all around for those who need them. And cookies. I know cookies also go great with hugs and love. =)