You are either not logged in or not registered with our community. Click here to register.
 
December 08, 2016, 08:03:48 PM

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length

Click here if you are having problems.
Default Wide Screen Beige Lilac Rainbow Black & Blue October Send us your theme!

Hark!  The Herald!
Holiday Issue 2016

Wiki Blogs Dicebot

Author Topic: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View  (Read 101986 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #550 on: December 23, 2011, 12:57:48 PM »
*leaves oodles of hugs for over the holiday period for all who need them...or just want them* ;)

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #551 on: December 23, 2011, 05:12:22 PM »
*Delivers a batch of mistletoe to our gang, and a sleigh full of magical hugs that linger throughout the next year*

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #552 on: December 23, 2011, 05:14:54 PM »
Ooo mistletoe! *puckers up for smooches as well as hugs*

Offline Oniya

  • StoreHouse of Useless Trivia
  • Oracle
  • Carnite
  • *
  • Join Date: Sep 2008
  • Location: Just bouncing through. Hi! City of Roses, Pennsylvania
  • Gender: Female
  • One bad Motokifuka. Also cute and FLUFFY!
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 3
Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #553 on: December 23, 2011, 05:28:48 PM »
I probably should have posted in this thread a long time ago.  My issues are probably more situational than chemical, but I'm seeing a lot of the symptoms - sleep issues, irritability, appetite issues, no sex drive, a general feeling of 'why bother' - and there's really no one here to talk to.

Last night, I laid in bed awake until nearly 4AM - at least, that's when I stopped looking at the clock.  I can't help thinking about the fact that I'm not getting enough hours at work, and there are envelopes that I'm frankly terrified to open.  I've been sending Mr. Oniya job listings (he's no longer working at the puppet booth, due to 'issues' with the owner), but from the amount of attention he's giving them, I'm starting to think I should start looking for 2BR apartments and/or moving services instead of at the employment classifieds. 

I almost went downstairs to swipe a sleeping tab from the scrip that my roommate just went off of. (They switched her to Ambien, and we were going to take the extras from her past scrip to the local P.D. to get properly disposed of.)  Don't worry - I 'know too much' to be a danger to myself.
As it is, I didn't manage to drag myself out of bed until almost three PM.  The alarm went off several times at 10, but I couldn't see the point.  Mr. Oniya asked if I enjoyed getting to sleep in, and for the first time, I said 'No.' 

I also snapped at everyone when the plans that we'd made for Christmas dinner (a roast) were almost up-ended because the little Oni decided she wanted turkey.  Mr. Oniya called the whole house together for 'a meeting', and I said in front of everyone that I was concerned about making a dinner that was going to end up sitting in the fridge as leftovers until it grew fuzz.  When the roommate was asked what she'd prefer, she asked 'well, what did you say.'  I lost it.  I stalked off downstairs, saying that I'd already weighed in on this.  Mr. Oniya called after me that we were discussing it, and I said that I was fed up with it. 

It went downhill from there, and I think I scared the little Oni by getting angry with Daddy.  It never hit 'shouting' levels, but it was definitely not 'Happy Families'.  On top of this, I've managed to hide the little Oni's Christmas present from me in a too-safe place.  I can't find it.  She's got lots of presents from everyone else, but this is just the fecal icing on the cake for me.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #554 on: December 23, 2011, 05:50:39 PM »
*offers hugs to Oniya and some positive energy*

I really hope you manage to find little Oni's Christmas present, there is still a little while to go so I hope it turns up. Mine is generally situational as well, at least that's when I really notice the downfall in my mood and all those symptoms that you mention. Sometimes I think we bottle so much up that it explodes right when you don't want it to. The little one will understand, believe me I am ashamed to say that at times my children have seen me at my worst, with my shortest fuse and my darkest moods. I hate when they do and I try so hard to hide it from them, it works most of the time but not always.

I'm always around to chat so feel free to PM me if you want to, I'm a good listener. As always that offer goes to all who need an ear to vent to. Welcome to the family.

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #555 on: December 24, 2011, 08:19:28 AM »
Leaves Good Thoughts and Hugs for everyone during the Festive Season who need/want them.

Offline Adammair

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #556 on: December 25, 2011, 06:02:07 PM »
*offers some of his warmest hugs to Oniya* There's more where those came from. :-)

*sneaks a kiss from Rhedyn under the mistletoe, and leaves some more warm hugs for all to enjoy.*

Things will get better, Oniya. I'm sure of it. And I'm just a PM away, as well, if you need/want it.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #557 on: December 26, 2011, 02:50:14 AM »
*smooches Adammair* My first Christmas kiss <3

I hope you are all doing well and that the Holiday period isn't proving too much of a struggle. It has thus far been so-so for me. I feel like I have been teetering on the edge of a plummet but not quite falling.

*leaves more hugs and love*

Online Oreo

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #558 on: December 26, 2011, 07:17:50 AM »
I was too busy to stop in sooner. *offers hugs to Oniya* I have been there way too often myself. The Holiday season has a tendency add extra pressure to people. When it is supposed to bring cheer, we find ourselves feeling just the opposite and wonder why. I hope you found little Oni's gift and a measure of peace.

I am not one that deals well with last minute changes. Having the meal plans getting changed like that would likely have flipped me over the edge too. "Hey, ya'all 'er gettin' French toast or pancakes. If you don't like it, it can sit in the fridge and get hairy mold!" At least it's inexpensive.

I had steaks all ready to cook and hubby reminded me that he was going to his sister's house for dinner. So, it actually ended up okay for me...steak tonight and peace and quiet yesterday.

*hugs all around*

Offline lonlyazn

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #559 on: December 28, 2011, 03:35:29 PM »
While waiting for approval I stopped by and noticed this post. I have to say that I thank you for helping out with my own. I have fought depression quietly and I know the same feelings as well as probably many. But the way you wrote it out there, is how I feel and what I'm looking for and how I stumbled upon this right now. I have had my own faults, and dilemmas, I just want to give a thanks from my own behalf, and that I was glad to find something like this today. Pretty useful seeing as these holidays should be in a better spirit.

-Thanks

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #560 on: December 28, 2011, 04:43:05 PM »
While waiting for approval I stopped by and noticed this post. I have to say that I thank you for helping out with my own. I have fought depression quietly and I know the same feelings as well as probably many. But the way you wrote it out there, is how I feel and what I'm looking for and how I stumbled upon this right now. I have had my own faults, and dilemmas, I just want to give a thanks from my own behalf, and that I was glad to find something like this today. Pretty useful seeing as these holidays should be in a better spirit.

-Thanks
Leaves lonlyazn a bunch of hugs, and every one else who wants one this week.

Good luck on your approval process lonyazn.

Offline lonlyazn

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #561 on: December 28, 2011, 11:28:04 PM »
Thanks for the hugs, very much feeling the love from this community.

Offline Adammair

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #562 on: December 29, 2011, 03:59:17 AM »
*stops in and adds a hug, as welll* Welcome, Ionlyazn, and good luck on a speedy approval.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #563 on: December 29, 2011, 05:17:00 AM »
While waiting for approval I stopped by and noticed this post. I have to say that I thank you for helping out with my own. I have fought depression quietly and I know the same feelings as well as probably many. But the way you wrote it out there, is how I feel and what I'm looking for and how I stumbled upon this right now. I have had my own faults, and dilemmas, I just want to give a thanks from my own behalf, and that I was glad to find something like this today. Pretty useful seeing as these holidays should be in a better spirit.

-Thanks

I'm really glad you stopped by to share and found some measure of comfort from this blog *hugs*
You are most welcome here, good luck on your approval.

Offline Ariabella

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #564 on: December 29, 2011, 10:17:52 AM »
*stopping in to pass out hugs* I'm still feeling low. Even the psychologist feels mine is mostly environmental/situational, but there's little to be done for it, at least for now. And I received a call on my most recent bloodwork that even though I have no thyroid, my TSH levels are highly elevated which is adding to it. Plus for some reason, I'm really hurting from losing my mother five years ago earlier this month. Instead of getting easier, it's getting harder. Me? I'm off to find a corner to sit in and cry, because that is just how I am feeling today.

Offline lonlyazn

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #565 on: December 29, 2011, 10:45:23 AM »
Well, I do not have a professional in the matter to help cope with mine. It's on and off with my mood. No matter how cheery my life seems to get, there always seems to be a reason for my mind to pick at a fault or flaw. I can never be left alone, that's when the lil creepies get a hold of my mind. So work and business in day, forums at night to keep them out of sight.

Offline Ariabella

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #566 on: December 29, 2011, 11:05:52 AM »
*hugs to lonlyazn* Well obviously I'm not really coping. the psychologist said writing and role play should be my solace and safe place, but she doesn't seem to understand that my games always crash and burn and I end up abandoned, which just makes things worse.

But I know what you mean...on those rare times that I get a ray of light, something bigger and uglier comes along and stomps it out.

Offline lonlyazn

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #567 on: December 29, 2011, 11:14:14 AM »
Maybe you just need to find that right role player. Ha, now I'm feeling like talking about a love one. But yeah, a good role play helps, normally I play them out in my mind. I just never liked psychologists, even though I did aspire to be one. I studied it quite enough, but just a mere High School credit more or less. But I do have a decent understanding of people, and yet no understanding of myself. Things turn out all right, it's as much as I can believe in.

-hugs Ariabella back-

Been very long since I've used action notations ha. Do miss them so.

Offline Ariabella

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #568 on: December 29, 2011, 11:22:59 AM »
*laugh* Yes, but in some ways, it kind of is like trying to find someone to love. I've been 8 years trying to find the right fit and it's not happened. Oh I have great plots in my mind, but they just don't seem to go anywhere. In one game, I even wrote up the character bio that I wanted for my character to play off of, someone accepted it, played for several months and then quit, saying it was too romantic. Uhm, the bio was set up as a romantic hero, not sure what they expected. So thanks to that player and another, my character who was my favorite character I ever created, has ended up in shambles.

As I said, the psychologist has pretty much said it's my environment and situational, she wants meds if only to take the edge off of my feelings but my primary care keeps ignoring her requests for meds. My abandonment issues are so bad (both from role play/online and RL) that I actually have avoidant personality disorder because I don't see any point in making an attempt to getting close to anyone because I know they'll just walk away.

Offline Oniya

  • StoreHouse of Useless Trivia
  • Oracle
  • Carnite
  • *
  • Join Date: Sep 2008
  • Location: Just bouncing through. Hi! City of Roses, Pennsylvania
  • Gender: Female
  • One bad Motokifuka. Also cute and FLUFFY!
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 3
Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #569 on: December 29, 2011, 01:46:45 PM »
*stopping in to pass out hugs* I'm still feeling low. Even the psychologist feels mine is mostly environmental/situational, but there's little to be done for it, at least for now. And I received a call on my most recent bloodwork that even though I have no thyroid, my TSH levels are highly elevated which is adding to it. Plus for some reason, I'm really hurting from losing my mother five years ago earlier this month. Instead of getting easier, it's getting harder. Me? I'm off to find a corner to sit in and cry, because that is just how I am feeling today.

Holidays are always hard for anyone who's lost a loved one.  I know that doesn't change the feelings, but sometimes an explainable hurt is a touch easier to deal with than one that seemingly has no reason.  As for the meds issue that you mentioned, have you told the psychologist that your primary care physician is coming in the way?  Perhaps she can speak directly to the PCP or request a consult with a psychiatrist (who I believe is the one that can prescribe directly.)

Offline Ariabella

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #570 on: December 29, 2011, 02:02:12 PM »
She knows that he didn't listen to me and has sent two requests for a prescription for me.  The first request they kicked back to her saying that it wasn't filled out properly and she said it was. I don't know what's going on with the second request yesterday. I can say that here in this part of PA, every primary care provider I have had has absolutely sucked. I still think they look paperwork and say "Oh. Her. Meh." And tosses it int he corner.

Offline lonlyazn

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #571 on: December 29, 2011, 03:33:40 PM »
Wow, that avoidant personality sounds just like how I feel about just meeting people. I don't bother at all just because of that. I wouldn't say abandoned per se, but just a sense of importance would be nice. But I have to say I've done the fade away too, but I usually find that the other person goes away and it does suck. I've gone through a lot of them and then suddenly they change to someone else, forget our history, I've just gotten tired of even trying at times. Hard to win forward in life. And honestly, finding the role player and love is the same for me. I would could probably fall easily just to accept comfort, support, or warmth.

I really do wish you the best. As much as everyone does in the world, it's nice to just meet people alike and feel we are winning our own community huh.

Offline Ariabella

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #572 on: December 29, 2011, 03:47:10 PM »
Oh I have done the fade away as well, but I think it's usually because I can feel us growing apart and if I'm the one to fade away, it hurts less for me. I hadn't even known of such a disorder until I was diagnosed with it. At this point, I would be happy with companionship, support and warmth. As much as I avoid, I am tired of feeling so horribly lonely.

I wish you the best as well, lonlyazn, and I agree. We are building a small community here with others who understand.

Offline lonlyazn

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #573 on: December 29, 2011, 04:09:16 PM »
I'm glad to have met you. And yeah, I feel the same way about what I do. Eerily similar. I do hate that sensation of being lonely, it helps with family and friends, but I seek that one person to really fill in that gap. And it bugs me so. I can't seem to focus on what I need to do at times when that strikes me hard when left alone. But hey, companion and support is just as great till then.

Offline Ariabella

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #574 on: December 29, 2011, 05:01:46 PM »
but see, that's where it gets tricky. I'm an only child, have only my elderly father and no one I would call a close friend. Oh, I have acquaintances and co-workers.