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Author Topic: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View  (Read 101435 times)

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Online Oreo

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #475 on: October 06, 2011, 05:15:28 PM »
Yay Remiel. You cant escape without many hugs. Hugs for purple pirates are at an all time high this week. *huggles*

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #476 on: October 06, 2011, 05:32:57 PM »
Ooo, yay! *hugs Remiel*

I'm so pleased you all like the hug monster!  ;D

It's like a hug fest in here *grins and adds to the hug pile*

Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #477 on: October 06, 2011, 05:41:35 PM »
Thanks Sybl, Oreo, and Rhedyn. *hugs each back in turn*

I do like the monster.  I think it's an excellent idea.  Kind of like a green ribbon, or suchlike, for "depression awareness".

Offline InariShiftskin

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #478 on: October 06, 2011, 07:49:34 PM »
There! Green-monster'd.

-Hugs everyone.-

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #479 on: October 06, 2011, 08:33:54 PM »
There! Green-monster'd.

-Hugs everyone.-
Looks good, I think it was a great idea for us all.

Offline Izzy1337

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #480 on: October 06, 2011, 08:52:22 PM »
*has a monster*

Thanks. :-)

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #481 on: October 06, 2011, 09:14:30 PM »
*has a monster*

Thanks. :-)
Izzy Rocks.. yay *hugs*

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #482 on: October 07, 2011, 03:27:53 AM »
*snuggleluffs on everybody*

I don't know, this week has been a strange one for me. I was worried when it started that it was going to be one of apathy. It went the other way in the end, some really big highs and some very low lows. I'm not sure which is worse, being unfeeling and not really enjoying anything but not really feeling any pain at the same time or finding myself near floating with happiness one minute and then plummeting the next.

Things have been 'stale' in my life for the last little while until I reached breaking point over the summer and now that I've made the necessary changes they are moving forward again but it's like the depression is fighting my attempts to move on all the way.

I'm the sort of person that likes to look forward and plan forward even though I know it's probably better for me to take each day as it comes. I've been trying to remind myself of this because on the bad days looking forward isn't full of possibilities and hope it's full of worry and hopelessness which taints everything I had been looking forward to.

I think I'm probably rambling again, the product of a lot of thinking this week, too much time to think I guess. Hang in there everyone *hugs*

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #483 on: October 07, 2011, 10:39:39 AM »
*hugs for all*
Hope you can all find one positive for the weekend.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #484 on: October 07, 2011, 12:19:51 PM »
I wish the same for you too Night Stalker *hugs*

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #485 on: October 08, 2011, 06:04:08 PM »
I wish the same for you too Night Stalker *hugs*

Thank You, weekend has been good so far.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #486 on: October 09, 2011, 03:50:04 AM »
That's good to hear, so has mine :)

Offline Meghan

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #487 on: October 09, 2011, 07:57:48 PM »
Hope and huggggggggggggggggggs to all. <3

Offline Ophelia Jaxon

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #488 on: October 11, 2011, 03:20:53 PM »
Do you know what I hate? When you o your best to do something...Do everything your asked to do even though its hard and physically hurts, and then when your so happy about getting the job done...then some assface comes along and lets you know you did it wrong then shouts at you because you did it wrong on 'purpose' and you just want to punch then in the face, but instead you go into the next room and cry.

It's hard to stay positive when other people kick you down.

Other thing I need to rant about (sorry) my guy has decided that he'll marry me, but I have to lose weight first. I like to pretend that he wants me to be healthy, but I'm not -that- fat. I'm 10stone so about 140lbs. He wants me to drop to 8.5 before he asks me to marry him. We've been together got six years now. I've half raised his children (after I came to live 5 years ago, they moved in with us full time) Like... UGHHHH Sometimes it gets me so freaking down. I mean I know he should be happy with me the way I am..I'm...or was happy with me. I'm a good person. Never argue, don't sulk or bitch or complain. I take care of all the animals, keep the house clean feed the troops, give foot rubs and all the bedroom stuff he wants. I'm always eager to do sexual things wether or not it gives me pleasure. I gave up my ENIRE life for him...OK, so I had a really piss poor life before..but at leas I had friends and family and people to talk to places to go a job (even if it wasn't legit). I moved half way across the world to be with him, literally running away from home. My family hasn't talked to me since...Well my mum did but she died a few years ago so 0 contact with family. Friends...they can't be bothered keeping in touch even though I do try.

I think I'm just in a funk. It's probably because my one friend in this country is pregnant for the second time and I want a baby so bad I'd saw of me right arm and left foot. (always have it's not just her getting preg that does it..though its a reminder) I don't get to have a baby because he's already had kids. It's just...not flippin fair. Sometimes I wish I could just fuck off and disappear, but...I've no where to go. I know very little people where I am and they're all friends of his. I've no job, no money, an expired passport and UGHHHH

I'll probab;y feel better tomorrow and go back to pretending I don't have all these thoughts and feeling in me, but right now I could just scream.

Offline Izzy1337

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #489 on: October 11, 2011, 03:28:57 PM »
*hugs Ophelia and gives her permission to scream*

Sometimes it's cleansing, hon...

*more hugs*

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #490 on: October 12, 2011, 03:03:56 AM »
*leaves hugs and support for Ophelia, and everyone else of course*

Online Athos

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #491 on: October 16, 2011, 10:50:46 PM »
Last night as I was coming home from my neighborhood bar I was assaulted by someone who lives on my street. I don't remember the incident itself, which means that I probably blacked out. When I came to I was in my house with my brother and some of the other neighbors who were trying to patch me up. There was blood everywhere and needless to say it wasn't my best night ever. I ended up going to the ER but now I have to go back tomorrow for a CT scan because they think my nose might be broken. I guess I'm having a hard time processing all of it. Sometimes I feel numb like nothings wrong at all, other times I get angry and want to go after the guy and other times I just want to hide. I think the hardest part of the whole thing is not remembering. I remember leaving the bar to walk home and then I remember being inside my house with my brother patching me up. It feels like there's this gap in my mind and as hard as I try I can't remember. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow when I plan on filing a report with the police. I've been in fights before (not a lot, but some) but I've never been hurt like this. I don't know, I kind of feel like I'm rambling so I'm going to stop. Thanks for listening guys.

Lots of love!

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #492 on: October 17, 2011, 01:04:39 AM »
Athos,
I am so sorry to hear you have been injured, not accidentally either. People can be so cruel. I hope every gets better and hopefully your nose isn't broke. I hope you heal really fast. And the police catch whoever did this to you, and if there was a witness some one testifies.

Lots of hugs,
Sybl

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #493 on: October 17, 2011, 03:08:49 AM »
That's just terrible Athos. I really hope you have a speedy recovery in all respects, what a horrible thing to have to go through *hugs and sends some healing energy*

Offline Adammair

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #494 on: October 18, 2011, 03:30:43 AM »
I'm sorry to hear about your "incident", Athos. I would definitely urge you to do what you can to get closure on this, starting with filing a police report, even if you don't remember everything, right now. Your memory may fade over time, or things may come back to you. But I would get as much reported as you are able while it's still fresh, physically and mentally. I believe you will feel better from taking action, too. I speak from experience, although in my case, I did the opposite...which is to say, I did nothing at all. *sighs* It's not the proudest moment in my life. I suppose nothing like this ever is one's proudest moment, but here's what happened to me. What I remember of it, at least.

First off, it was 4 days before Christmas that year, and I had just left a party at my dojo (as in "martial arts training hall") with 2 friends of mine, on my way to one friend's apartment, which was in a bad part of town. Needless to say, I felt pretty confident, simply from being with 2 other people, and having just come from the place where I was supposedly learning to defend myself. *chuckles softly* What a joke!

So, as we were walking up the street, approximately a block and a half from my friend's house, we passed three guys going the other way. A few seconds later, they turned around and followed us. One of them asked if we had a cigarette. We said that we didn't. We were asked again, and one of my friends replied, "No, we don't smoke." (I think) They kept following us, asking for a cigarette, to which my friend said, "if we had one, we'd give it to you." He wasn't being arrogant or rude, but they started taunting us, asking, "Why are you being that way about it?" One of them picked up a brick and threw it at my friend who was talking to them, hitting him in the back, then picked it up and threw it again, hitting him in the head. All I remember from that point is freezing up, and being unable to make myself run, no matter how hard I tried. Everything was going in slow motion, and I remember somebody (one of the attackers, I now realize) asking, "Hey, man, are you alright? Here, let me take those for you." (meaning my glasses) He took them off and tossed them in the nearest yard, then punched me in the side of the head, and the next thing I remember, after trying to force myself to somehow run away from these <insert suitable offensive term here>, is coming to with my head against the sidewalk, my friends up the street, and no sign of the three attackers anywhere.

I had no hearing in the ear I got hit in for about a week afterward, and I never got a good enough look at them to do much of anything. I regret it to this day.

One more reason I don't like my life, and want a new one. *sighs and wishes he had a stiff drink to make the memories go away*

Online Athos

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #495 on: October 18, 2011, 06:59:51 AM »
*Returns all the hugs*

Thank you all. I spent all of yesterday in the hospital and found out that in addition to a broken nose I apparently have several other smaller fractures throughout my face that I'll have to go see a plastic surgeon about. Thanks you especially for your words Adammair, I appreciate you telling me your story. I've been in enough situations like this to know that often times being trained to defend yourself doesn't always help. I've been taking a number of self defense and police related tactics courses at college and I've been in a enough fights before to be reasonably confident in my abilities, but sometimes (like in this case) it doesn't help. Attacks like this aren't fair, I was alone and I was intoxicated and while I don't remember for sure given my injuries I'm fairly certain he came at me from behind. As irritating as the realization is, there was really not a whole lot I could do. That doesn't make me weak or defenseless or whatever, it just makes him a bloody coward who couldn't bring himself face me man to man.

Offline Kuroneko

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #496 on: October 19, 2011, 11:32:36 AM »
I just wanted to add more hugs.  I'm so sorry this happened to you Athos. 

When I couldn't remember part of a car accident I was in as a teenager, I went to a hypnotherapist who able to help me remember.  I don't know if you'd be up for that, but I just thought I'd toss it out there.

*more hugs*

Online Athos

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #497 on: October 19, 2011, 01:29:50 PM »
Thanks Kuroneko, I appreciate it. The Doctor said it might come back to me as time goes on but if it doesn't I may have to look into hypnotherapy. Thanks for suggesting it, I wouldn't have thought of it. :D

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #498 on: October 21, 2011, 01:58:52 PM »
Leaves hugs and good thoughts for all who need/want them.

Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #499 on: October 24, 2011, 12:19:39 PM »
Athos, that's absolutely horrible.  I've never really been in a situation like that, so I don't know what it must be like, but you have my most heartfelt sympathies.

I can only hope that the adage "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" is true.