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Author Topic: Writing Class: 'Words' Story  (Read 422 times)

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Offline NoobletTopic starter

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Writing Class: 'Words' Story
« on: January 18, 2011, 08:47:44 PM »
The second story I'd like to share. For this one we were given a list of words/phrases of emotions, and two hours to come up with a short story. I'm honestly embarrased with this one, because I think I screwed up with it HORRIBLY...plus..its real cheesey, but thought I'd share anyway :P
My words/phrases: Deep in thought, Confused, Jealous, Frightened, Nervous
Please let me know what you think.
________________________________________________________________

They day shone brightly, a gentle breeze tickling along the leaves of the trees. The sun's heat gave the day a warm and comfortable feel to it, the breeze bringing cool relief at intervals. As the summer wore on the leaves of the trees began to shift colors, becoming the oranges, reds, and yellows of autum. Eldis observed all this as he stared out his window, deep in thought.
 'I cant believe it. Never have I been jealous of...well..anything! But now here I am, hiding away so I dont have to see him with her...it..it just infuriates me in a way that makes me...confused,' he contemplated the turmoil inside, idely gazing out at th bright day.
Eldis' short cropped blonde hair tussled about in the breeze from his open window, his clear gray eyes gazing without truely seeing. Eldis' older brother, Elric, had recently asked out Eldis' crush. Elric knew Eldis had a crush on the girl, and had asked her out mainly just to spite his younger brother. Eldis was a kind-hearted guy, and has never truely grown angry or felt jealousy, until now. These new feelings frightened him. He didnt want to do something stupid, or something he would regret.
 'Maybe....maybe I could talk to him about it...' even as he thought of it he knew it would never work.
Eldis and Elric had never gotten along, the two year difference between them seeming to seperate them like a chasm. No matter how Eldis tried, Elric always just seemed to be mean towards him.
'Still....I cant just sit here like this. These...these feelings wont just go away...' he argued internally for nearly an hour.
Finally, Eldis stood and walked out of his room, closing the door behind him. He walked down the hallway to his brothers room and hesitated. Now that he was here he felt extremely nervous.
'What if he just hits me or mocks me...' he thought, unsure of himself.
'No..no I need to talk to him about it,' he finally decided, determined.
With a swift knock he heard his brother call for him to enter. With a deep breath he opened the door and stepped in.
"Tch, just you. What you want runt?" Elric asked in an annoyed tone, glancing at Eldis from his position on the bed.
"W..well..You know I liked..umm..You know I liked Milly...thats..thats why you asked her out..." Aldis stumbled through his words, growing embarrassed and frightful.
Elric look at him a moment before laughing.
"You want me to dumb her? Nah. I cant pass up the chance to  get an easy score and make you mad at the same time," Elric taunted.
"Now, get out," Elric turned away, looking back at his television, ignoring Eldis.
Eldis stood shocked for a moment, before simply turning and walking out. He felt so angry, and yet he knew his older brother could easily beat him up. There was nothing Eldis could do. Disheartened, Eldis merely stood idly by, watching in seethign anger as his brother flaunted his relationship in his face. Days passed and the anger festered, growing to a nearly uncontrolable state. Now Milly was in the house, waiting for Elric to come home from practice.
  Eldis mustered up his courage and quietly moved downstairs, feeling extremely nervous. He peaked around the corner, seeing Milly sitting on the couch, patiently awaiting for Elric to get home. Eldis always loved the way her light brown hair seemed to catch the sunlight, giving it a shining look. He skin was on the pale side. just lightly tanned, but it made her seem more exotic and beaurtiful to Eldis' eyes. Her dark-chocolate colored eyes turned curiously in his direction, hearing his footsteps as he approached. As her gaze fell upon him, Eldis' breath caught in his throat and he felt his cheecks growing flushed. Milly's cheecks grew a light pink as well. Eldis loved how she was shy, and always had a light blush whenever he saw her.
  "Umm..h..hello Milly," he stumbled, berating himself for not saying anything better.
  "Hello Eldis," Milly replied quietly,
  "Umm..I....I want to..to ask you something..." Eldis began, swallowing as he grew increasingly nervous under her curious stare.
  "Right..well..I..was wondering...why did you agree to date my brother?" Eldis ocntinued after a moment of silence.
  Milly seemed surprised by the question and remained silent for a time. Eldis was ready to appologize for his stupidity when she finally chose to answer.
  "Well...I...honestly wanted to..umm..." She hesitated, growing flustered and turning her gaze down to look at her hands in her lap.
  "You wanted to...what?" Eldis pressed, his curiousity getting the best of him.
 "I wanted to...get closer to you," she finished quietly, blushing furiously now.
  "Me? But...why?" he stared at her in shock.
  "Well...I've had a crush on you for awhile, but...I wasnt sure how to approach you. I thought I could get to know you more if I began to date your brother," she replied, growing a bit more confident that he didnt reject her outright.
  Eldis merely looked at her for a few moment before he began to laugh. Milly looked at him, confused as he continued to laugh at the oddness of it all.
"I've had the longest crush on you Milly. When you started dating my brother it tore me apart. I knew he wasnt really intrested in you, and it drove me nuts. I didnt think there was anything I could do," Eldis shook his head, still laughing lightly.
  Milly merely looked at him in disbelief. Never had she dreamed it would turn out like this. She had been sitting down here trying to come up with a way to talk to Eldis, and he had come down to her. Then she decided to simply bluntly say what she wanted, and instead of rejecting her he had more or less siad he felt the same. It came as a complete shock to her.
  "So..does this mean you'll dumb my brother for me?" Eldis was surprised at how confident he felt, but he kindal iked it.
  Milly only nodded, bringing a large grin to Eldis' face.
Eldis knew Elric would be furious, but he also somehow knew that it would be alright. He felt elated right now and nothing could diminish it. He shared a smile with Milly, one wich she returned, and knew that things were going to change.

Offline NoobletTopic starter

  • The Angelic Noob of Elliquiy
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  • Join Date: Jan 2011
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Re: Writing Class: 'Words' Story
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2011, 08:55:26 PM »
I just noticed that I put up the none proof-read version, sorry about the errors in spelling and what not >.<.