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Author Topic: Splintered Spirits  (Read 566 times)

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Offline KaiHitaroTopic starter

Splintered Spirits
« on: December 13, 2010, 09:58:24 PM »
Just so nobody can steal it from me before I finish it, I'm only going to post the prologue, but this is a story I was writing for NaNoWriMo, I did not finish in time and will be changing it up and attempting it again next year.

Splintered Spirits

   Most stories begin with “Once Upon A Time” or “Far Far Away” but, this isn’t most stories. This story starts out in a peculiar fashion.  This story starts out in a land that in a way is really close to ours, but also very far away at the same time. This story starts out in a land close to ours, but far away at the same time. In a parallel world, where technology is far more advanced than here on Earth, the government is controlled by one man, and that one man, whose name is Sawayo, makes every decision for everyone. Nobody bothers to stand up to him because he has powers that nobody can match, he used them twenty years prior to the start of our story, during a war between two major governments, he ended up murdering his twin brother so he could take over the world. But enough about him, for the story isn’t actually about Sawayo. Our story is about the people who saved the world.
In the year 2057, the land of Vunetra is being dominated completely by this controlling government, people are not supposed to make any decisions of their own; Children, Weddings, Jobs, Living Quarters, what clothes you can wear, what music you can listen to, what you’re allowed to eat and drink and when you can actually eat and drink it. All these decisions are made by the government, and if you break them then the decisions continually get worse for you.
Upon birth, the Powers-that-be grant everyone a spirit animal. Why they do this has been long forgotten, the legends say that people used to morph with their spirit animal so they could more easily hunt food or pick fruits. Your job and lifestyle is somewhat based around your animal. Cats, because of their abilities to sneak around and see in the dark are usually given the job of assassin and bulls, because of their superior strength and ferociousness are usually guards. Everyone’s work-specific tools are designed in ways that allow them to look somewhat like their animal; for instance, the spears that the guards use are designed as detachable horns, the guns the cats use for assassinations are hidden within cat-like ears perched on a headband, and a detachable tail can turn into a simple sword. 
Nobody is happy with this lifestyle, but every time anyone’s ever rebelled they’ve simply vanished soon after, with no visible trace of them having ever existed. Nobody assaults Sawayo personally because he has dark magic and can even turn himself into a lion at will, even though only for short periods of time. If he chooses to transform partially instead of being limited, he gets to have all the powers of his lion spirit without reverting to human form until he’s done. However, if anyone managed to hurt him, they’d be able to hurt his spirit too, so he’s always taking a huge risk when he enters the partially transformed state.
Pinea is a city within the land of Vunetra; it’s a metropolis of sorts, with tall buildings and walkways expanding through the gaps. This is where ninety percent of the population lives works and dies. This is also where Sawayo lives. There’s a mysterious red glowing line around the city, and Sawayo has said that these are the city’s boundaries; anyone who crosses them willingly will have officially abandoned their own life, earning themselves the title of outlaw. This line prevents the crossing of magic as well, which was an addition to it made by someone on the outside of the city by the name of Reech, but we’ll learn more about him later.
However there are some people who choose to be an outlaw anyways, even though that choice makes it so anyone from the society who sees you is supposed to fight you to the death immediately, or they lose their right to live too. Most of the people who choose to runaway are couples who fell in love and chose to run away together instead of letting Sawayo tear them apart by forcing them to marry other people. Sawayo himself is usually the man the woman would be married too, which means he’s never married since they’ve always run off. Which brings us to our story, for this is the predicament that our main characters, Raiden Hitaro and Amaya Okinawa, are currently finding themselves in.

Offline Crisis

Re: Splintered Spirits
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2010, 03:53:32 PM »
Hey, I like the premise of your world. Dystopias are awesome backgrounds. Did you get close to the 50.000 words?