If I may expand on the excellent ideas you've already been given, then I'd say that choosing a writing partner carefully can go a loooooooooooong way. How thorough are you in exploring their game threads, their O&Os, A&As, Intros, forum activity overall... ? A partner may tell you one thing (say about a posting pattern) that may not be entirely true, not because of a shameless attempt to be deceptive, but perhaps they are striving to be something, trying to achieve the said level... One experience I made on E is that if I don't feel 100% sure that I *want* to play out that specific idea with that specific person, then it's for a reason and the RP is more likely than not going to end up dead.
Don't "compromise" on a writing partner just because you feel you are not worthy of anyone "better" (no pun intended here). It can make all the difference between a disaster and an enjoyable RP. For both of you - if you don't enjoy an RP, you can hardly expect the partner to enjoy it - you'd be surprised how quickly it can crawl into the game overall...
Being active on the forums (or at least being aware of who's who and who does what) bears one advantage: you can find people that you may 'click' with easier. Maybe not kink-wise, but certainly personality-wise. There used to be a sticky somewhere, reading "Advice for obtaining more games" (or something to that effect) upon clicking, it read simple: "Find friends."
Personally I find that I get most ideas when browsing other peoples' Ons and Offs.
If I get that spark and the person passes my lustration, I contact them, see what that gets me.
Really, don't get discouraged. E is big enough for EVERYONE to find their place.