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Warning labels.......

Started by Elvi, January 26, 2007, 06:53:18 AM

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Elvi

http://www.luckypuppy.bravehost.com/WARNINGLABLES.html


And especially for Swedish Steel and Golden Child, a quote:

On a Swedish Chainsaw
"Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with your hands or genitals."

Please remember this Swede and Goldie, I wouldn't want anything nasty to happen to either of you!


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Swedish Steel

Ah yes...I read about that. That warning label appeared on the chainsaw after some idiot american had sued them after trying to do that, wich one of them I'm not sure. I hope it was with the hand, or did the guy think he had nuts of steel? Only I do... :)
"Ah, no, not bukkake chef! Secret ingredient always same."

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Elvi

There is another, at the bottom with the pictures of actual labels.

It's an Asian translation to English giving advice on CD cleaning.

"When there are stains on the face of the disk - Wipe genitally with a wet cloth"
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Swedish Steel

Hehe, well that just makes plain sense, doesn't it?
"Ah, no, not bukkake chef! Secret ingredient always same."

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HairyHeretic

There's lots more of them here

http://rinkworks.com/said/

Though I think my favourite section is the translations of lines from Hong Kong action movies at the bottom of this page

http://rinkworks.com/said/language.shtml


"Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination."

"Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some @$$ of the giant lizard person."

If anyone happens to know these movies please tell the titles. I really want to try and find the context of these lines  ;D
Hairys Likes, Dislikes, Games n Stuff

Cattle die, kinsmen die
You too one day shall die
I know a thing that will never die
Fair fame of one who has earned it.

GoldenChild

ROFL

I will try to remember how NOT to stop a chainsaw the next time I'll use it :)

Elvi

Well...don't say nthat you haven't been warned Goldie....*grins*
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GoldenChild

You know us men... we just have to try that no-one has succeeded with the past *grinning*

Akioth

Yes....

Americans are generally stupid *being one* We had a woman spill coffee on her lap while drinking it in her car. She sued McDonalds and won.....

Had a thief enter a old womans house and hurt himself...sued the woman...and won.....

*sighs*
Sobering really.
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Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off. 

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.  ~Abraham Lincoln


sindyloo

   Last few years in the states people have gotten even dumber!  A example is of Radio controlled Toy trucks and Cars!

  Actual warning on most of these toys now read.   "CAUTION!!"  Toy Will Move.  When In USE!!"

   WELL DUHHHHHHHHH!!
cant stand them green eggs or green hams or Silly Spam!!

   Love everything but Scat,Golden Showers or Zoo stuff!  Whip me! Spank me! Tie me up!!

Swedish Steel

Hehehehehe. My favorite is the guy that crushed his own scrotum between the toilet seat and the  toilet at a Starbucks, sued and won. Only in America, only in America...:)
"Ah, no, not bukkake chef! Secret ingredient always same."

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Elvi

Was he on his knees Swede?
I'm having problems with the logistics of this one.....
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Swedish Steel

I know. I can't figure it out either. How the hell did he do it?
"Ah, no, not bukkake chef! Secret ingredient always same."

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Hunter

I was looking at the shredded cheese package that came with my pizza mix.

"Product contains milk."

Swedish Steel

They should put that on the milk cartons, so you'd know for sure.
"Ah, no, not bukkake chef! Secret ingredient always same."

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Akioth

I'm still waiting for a a bag of Nuts to say.

"Warning Contains Nuts."
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Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off. 

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.  ~Abraham Lincoln


Elvi

#16
Already been done Akioth, it's written on packaging from one of the UK supermarkets.


From the above mentioned site:

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts"
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HairyHeretic

Quote from: Akioth on January 28, 2007, 04:56:01 PM
I'm still waiting for a a bag of Nuts to say.

"Warning Contains Nuts."

Airline packets of peanuts - Warning: May contain nuts.

Frankly, I'm a lot more worried by the 'may' in that sentence.

What else might it be?
Hairys Likes, Dislikes, Games n Stuff

Cattle die, kinsmen die
You too one day shall die
I know a thing that will never die
Fair fame of one who has earned it.

Elvi

Yeah.....may contain bolts instead....just incase the wing drops off?
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HairyHeretic

At which point snacking is going to be the least of your concerns
Hairys Likes, Dislikes, Games n Stuff

Cattle die, kinsmen die
You too one day shall die
I know a thing that will never die
Fair fame of one who has earned it.

Elvi

They always tell you to grab your nuts when there is an emergency!
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Pumpkin Seeds

I know the reference to the coffee incident was old, but I see it used quite often.  I'd like to point out that McDonald's had been sued several times for the temperature of their coffee hurting people.  They had always settled out of court and so no press was mentioned.  McDonald's decided to fight this one in court and the woman was actually suing only for her medical bills, which consisted of some pretty serious burns.  McDonald's had been warned on several occassions during those previous lawsuits to lower the temperature of their coffee, which they kept that hot so that they wouldn't have to continually change the pot.  She won the lawsuit and was awared a massive sum of money, far more than what she originally sued for.  So it's not such a black and white case.

TheAlchemist

I heard of a woman who sued a department store because she tripped and fell over some young kid who was running around unattended. She won the case. Somehow, the fact that the kid was *hers* failed to impress the jury.

Swedish Steel

Heh, I  heard that too recently. That one must take the cake. Where the  hell did they find those 12 morons?
"Ah, no, not bukkake chef! Secret ingredient always same."

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schnookums

The women tripping over her kid lawsuit story is almost certainly a hoax...just passed around so often that people think it's true simply because they've heard it multiple times, much like many internet hoaxes. I'd be happy to admit I'm wrong though if someone has information about such a case (more specifically non-anecdotal information. Remember, the plural of anecdote is not data!)