Me and my friend were discussing the show, and the controversy over Spongebob being supposedly gay... I think the official quote on Wiki was "Spongebob and Patrick are paired with arguably erotic intensity"
So I have forever tainted his viewing of the show with my observations, and now do the same to you!
Spongbob and Patrick.
Gay lovers, yet attempt to hide it by not living together.
Elderly foreigner, with some closet issues. His sexuality confusion fuels much of his dislike for his two gay neighbours.
The town Jew, who just happens to have a very strong passion for money.
See's right through Spongbob and Patrick, befriending them as a fag-hag. Sold her ranch to pay for the sex change operation. Has a penis.
Mentally unstable, unable to make friends outside of the internet. Spends more money on porn membership then on getting the Chum Bucket up and operating.
Stupid enough to believe that Mr Krab's is her real dad...
While she is clearly married (hence the Mrs) she continues to fail Spongebob on his boating exams so she can pursue a classroom affair with him. He purposefully fails to go along with this, as she is a nice distraction from Patrick, and he is somewhat interested in women from time to time.