Tails of Monkey - Hey Adventure is still waiting

[Catherine]

I stayed this time as we streaked forwards, no pairs of glass would be safe if they were being across where I was going.  Since I was going so fast, I think I left my shadow behind when the the nitros were hit and it was trying to catch up, that and  the people carrying the glass would see a blur rush by shrug and keep going. Suddenly SHATTER the glass would shatter and there would be no reason. If this was some type of comedy I could keep circling around shattering pane after pane of glass as they are bring them out but this isn’t and there is a word that sounds like a word that is ow. Pane or pain. The yihaaaaaaaa quickly changing to yihaaaaaaaaoooooooooowwwwwww when I get to feel what shattered shards of glass feel like. *cough* not good *cough*

There is only one type of people who like the feel of glass shards and that is when they are laughing widely giving others sharp painful massages over and over with a wild look in their eyes or eye depending if they wear an eye patch or something like that. I don’t do wild looks and laughter because of the whole hair thing  it takes time to make it look like this. No matter what my brother says.

*cute and adorable monkey girl ninja tip - take some time while grooming. Take a moment or two to brush or comb your hair after waking up so you aren’t mistaken for a mad person and butt darted. *

Of course if I find myself waist deep in a pool of banana milkshakes I may consider laughing right before grabbing a straw and drink it. Slowly so I can enjoy it and to prevent any brain freeze. I have told  banana milkshakes are good right? Like banana gold, yum.

Anyways shooting forwards, jumping over any panes of glass so neither Wiener or myself get a glass massage and zoom!

Holding on for my dear life I could see Flamebottom and his mount coming up fast. I could feel my stomach beginning to churn the closer we got thanks to someone’s kilt keep bouncing up and that someone wearing it properly. URP. I so felt like that one person in the one movie galactic twinkles battles when he swept in to the not so happy moon. You know zipping down the trench and the whole one torpedo down that is only so an so big and it took some invisible force to steer the torpedo into the hole. Yeah that one, my brother loved that for some reason. He kept raising open hand at me for some reason and I would stick my tongue out at him. There was something about him being someone’s father and I silently stepped out of the room and got a cookie. Telling my mom that my brother used force on me telling me that I had to eat a cookie for him. She rolled her eyes and enjoyed the cookie.

I got that whole flash back from watching that movie and swept the imaginary visor in front of my eyes and called back “A1 we are going in� and prepared for the trench run. I could make it look better than how it looked in the movie, maybe grind the edges of the trench and do a trick or two off the lip of it. Maybe shoot the torpedo from the three point line and make it look easy, not needing any invisible force to steer the torpedo. Just a PCHOW and a a lense flare.

The twin death moons were approaching quickly. The others were afraid and dropped out of mega speed a while back, not me though. It was infinitely more cooler. Zip in. What the? Drop the torpedo. Zip away and what was that?i think it was a bird or something. Followed by BOOM with improbable flames in space. I streak in and realize what I am streaking in to and pull back.

Wooooooo.............

Parking brakes. Air brakes and any other type of brakes were found and pulled. Even the parachute. No trench run for this monkey girl.

[Catherine]

I swerve at the last second coming dangerously close to the trench. Some may ask how close is dangerously close, anywhere close would be the answer. No where close enough to count the freckles on either side of the trench. Once I realized what was happening I white knuckled pulled back on anything and everything I could grab a hold of. Even kicking both feet out in front of me and gritting teeth the whole time repeating “No trench run,” over and over.

Thankfully the monkey gods smiled down upon me and there was no “No, its got me. I cannot pull up. Tell my family I love them, my brother to stay out of my room and banana milkshakes are really good.” Followed by a really not dramatic SPLAT followed by mmphmmphh and arm waving. Wiener and myself swerved to one side, going up on two of Weiner’s legs and teetering there for a moment before going back down with a THUMP!

We come alongside Flamebeard, shifting Wiener down into a lower gear and I give him a one handed finger gun. BANG! “You had us for a second, never expected the whole dirt cloud thing and the speed of your mount, furrynugget. But we are onto the both of you now, right Weiner?” Wiener responds with an oink after I patted him with a hand.

I was about to say something smart and witty when the sound of non-cannon country music started to get louder and louder.

“What in the,” I started to ask when something that smelled like coppertone hit me in the face.  UMPH! Knocking me off Weiner and in slow motion I fell backwards, “No......................................“ Hands reaching for the reigns as I fell. Weiner, Redbeard and fourcurves raced ahead.

Emergency protocols for slow motion falling backward enacted.  Lights flashing and alarms going off. No way am I going to fall on my head. 

[Catherine]

I hit the ground and roll gracefully, no flopping around for this monkey girl. Just a roll and up to my feet, arms thrown out and tail goes down tapping the ground with the tip. Three point landing! The crowd goes wild, chanting “Monkey”  over and over. I blow them all kisses and accept the imaginary roses that are thrown. Ow! Okay that one had thorns still. Ow! That one does too. Okay two can be just accidents. Ow! Ow! Ow! They all have thorns!!!! What type of imaginary thing is this. Ow! Ow! Ow!

Standing there I wait for the judges to judge. I get a ten, a eight, a nine. Oh I knew I stuck the landing and with that flourish at the end, minus the thorns, I had a great ending. I look towards the last judge, imaginary fingernail chewing and he gives me a look as he lifts his sign. What? What is it going to be? I know I won him over this time. There is no way he is going to score me low this time. No way no how. Wait. Wait I think I see am eight. I did it! I won the hard judge over.

Wait a moment what is that.... there is a mark to the left of the.... a negative sign! A negative eight! But I stuck the.... a three point.... there was a flourish at the end..... I got my name chanted over and over.... roses..... roses with thorns even. No one with a negative score would get those!  What did I do to him to deserve bad scores all of the time? Growl, hiss and drop shoulders. Boo!

Disappointed I turn to see what hit me, the scent of Coppertone hanging heavy on the air as I do and I see a little figure laying there with blonde hair wearing headphones, Stars slowly spinning in circles above it.

I just stand there watching as the little figure weakly tries to grab the stars as they spin with one hand. Missing one after another.

“Hey,” I call out and I get no response other than the music. I take a couple steps towards the little figure, staying the proper not hit by pea soup distance away and call out again. Again no answer other than music. From where I was at the little figure looked familiar, like I have seen her before. Not on wanted posters or anything, although with what she did and the music she is playing she should be.

I take a deep breath, look down at the imaginary line in the sand. The one that marks the edge of the safety, i am clean of any pea soup, zone. Then step and run over to the girl, nudging her head with my foot. My tail staying away from any of that. * Motioning towards the figure on the ground * if she grabs onto my toe and starts to suck on it for any reason I will scream and scream loud.

“Hey!”

The girl looked at me with dazed look in her eyes, “HI, I AM TRYING TO CATCH STARS!”

Slowly I shook my head, “No, you don’t have to yell I am right here. Take off the headphones.”

“DO WHAT WITH ELEPHANTS?”

“Nothing, take off your headphones.”

“I DO LOOK PRETTY THANK YOU!”

“I said take off the headphones.”

*scene pause -some of you might be wondering, monkey why aren’t you trying to catch up to Weiner? I would answer, I was head-butted and that needed to be cleared up. Things sort of get pushed to the side when you get head-butted. Secondly you might be wondering why I didn’t reach down and take the headphones off. Well that is simple, personal space and the girl looks like a biter. I am not quick to judge but definitely a biter. Scene stop pause*

“YOU THINK THIS DRESS MAKES MY BOTTOM LOOK BIG? THAT IS NOT NICE.”

I considered doing charades but that would take to long.

“No, this isn’t me offering you a bowl of ice cream.”

“No I do not have a mountain bar.”

“No not three scoops. How came you think everything has to do with..”�the little girls face goes green and I quickly change subjects as I wildly point in any direction but mine, “Go that way. That way. I don’t like pea soup.....”

[rest of scene censored due to ick and gross and urp. ]

[Catherine]

After what it seemed like hours the little girl, Ugh I can’t describe it. Just the little bit I still remember, that I am trying to forget quickly and replace with happy memories like hills of banana milkshakes. Tons and tons of them all over yum. All I can tell you that so you won’t be kept up at night screaming everytime you close your eyes was it was horrible. Horrible with a capital horrible. I have never seen.... urp. I have.... urp. I need to stop, this is like torture. It was just horrible, poor girl I think she is part camel and was... urp.

“Give  me a second please,” I say weakly waving a hand from side to side. Slowly turning to look away from the accident that was.... urp. I just turn away okay? Skin clammy I just stood there trying not to take in the coppertone and whatev.... urp.... did I mention it was horrible. No amount of special effects could capture what I just saw. There is no way. No matter how much cgi they use there is no way they could match what I just urp witnessed. They better not 3D it either, because..... because........

Is everything starting to spin? I am starting to.......

*adorable faint*