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Author Topic: Whore  (Read 3244 times)

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Offline MoiraeTopic starter

« on: August 09, 2010, 08:48:48 AM »

Oh, such a dirty, little whore.
Sweetly smile with your acidic lips;
play courtier to your flock of sheep.
Someday you'll realize they only stay
for the empty temptation of delight,
for the role you've purposely chosen...
but are so unsuited to play.

Dance your filthy dance,
tell yourself it's okay
to play the dirty little game --
you're nothing but a glass shell,
hollowed out by faded happiness,
filled with trophies of all the
spotlight you have no right to claim.

Never quiet or content in shadows --
the silence is too much for you,
the truth of your plight you cannot bear.

Just imagine if the world was purified,
void of all the dirty whores like you --
oh, what a place to be!

Sheltered by all your boys and toys,
keeping them webbed in your skilled lies.
Wonder what will happen the day
you see all the truths you avoid,
when you look at all those left hurt
in the wake of your quest to be loved.
Surprised someone so selfish doesn't know
it all has to start with you liking you.

What a woman you could have been.
attention whore, attention whore
The time on the revolving stage is thin.
attention whore, attention whore
Let me happily show you the door,
you dirty, little whore.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2016, 01:17:12 PM by Moirae »

Offline Jude

Re: Whore
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2010, 03:58:49 PM »
One of the better poems I've read published on E.  I liked the judgmental tone, and the calling of attention whore at the end because in the beginning I was picturing a literal prostitute, then it made me wonder what sort of person the poem was actually describing (which made me go back and read it again with a different perspective).

The only thing I would've changed is I would've liked some of the words to be mixed up a bit; different ways of describing whore without so much repetition of that word, I mean.  But the repetition could work in its favor when the poem is spoken.

Offline Xanatos

Re: Whore
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2010, 12:44:56 AM »
I did not read all of the poem (I really don't like poems), but in this case from what I did read, I feel the use of whore so many times is purposeful as it compounds the point and drives it home. Poems also function differently than normal writing/story writing, so repetition is acceptable as long as it serves a point/is tasteful; more accurately as long as it serves a point. Many poems I have seen use repetition a lot, rather like songs in a sense that repeat lyrics over and over, in whatever form. Then again like story writing, everyone who is into poetry has their own idea how how poetry should be >.< . I know of one English teacher who thinks that way... a real jerk. Anyways... that's my two cents.

Offline MoiraeTopic starter

Re: Whore
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2010, 07:45:14 AM »
Thank you both very much for the comments. ::Smiles, gives cookies.::

Offline Stattick

Re: Whore
« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2010, 10:27:14 AM »
I liked it.

Offline EroticWinged

Re: Whore
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2011, 03:02:48 PM »
Wonderful, absolutely wonderful!  And very clever, too.   Excellent job, Mme.
Your next spanking shall be much gentler.

Offline WyldRanger

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Re: Whore
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2011, 03:28:55 PM »
Most interesting, I like the twist, as was mentioned before-very clever. :)

Offline Sandman02

Re: Whore
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2011, 07:27:34 PM »
What a surprise this poem was, told not from the perspective of a guy who is "using" the subject of the poem, but rather it seemed to be from someone who is burnt out from giving a damn about her, and hence now only condemns her. A great, great poem - thank you

Offline MoiraeTopic starter

Re: Whore
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2011, 11:35:28 AM »
Thank you all so much for the comments!  <3

As a mini update to the poem, a recent acquaintance is writing music to it.  Very curious to see how it'll turn out! 

Offline sexy xander

Re: Whore
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2011, 03:47:07 PM »
What a beautiful poem. The last sentence was particularly strong but it worked very well :)

Offline MoiraeTopic starter

Re: Whore
« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2016, 12:25:39 PM »
(I can't believe this was first written back in 2010!  Wow!) 

This is a song a friend of mine wrote based off this poem.  It's an electronic pop version, no lyrics, and can be heard here:

The artist is Sine Leges and more of his work can be found here.

« Last Edit: August 20, 2016, 02:56:45 AM by Moirae »

Offline Athos

Re: Whore
« Reply #11 on: August 19, 2016, 11:52:13 PM »
Beautiful poem and a great piece of music.

Offline Mauri

Re: Whore
« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2017, 05:07:17 PM »
Wow! I'm impressed!

Offline MoiraeTopic starter

Re: Whore
« Reply #13 on: January 27, 2017, 01:57:10 PM »