Sorry it's taken me a while to get to this... been kinda busy!
What would you do to me to get that awful taste out of your mouse [sic], please describe the scenery and the weather... I like de'tails'...
I have a pet mouse. She's a real sweetie, and I keep her around because, well, I'm a cat, and I like to eat mice. Hey, this is a PG13 area, you work it out!
Anyway, just lately she's been eating something, I have no idea what she's been eating, but she's tasting pretty foul... I told her if she doesn't stop, I won't love her any more... So she confessed to me that, just lately, she's found this little van that sells this really weird and tasty food. I listened and decided that action was required.
That night, we went to find the van together. It was a dry cold night, a touch of frost in the air, and the moon shone full in a cloudless sky, just the sort of night a black cat likes to be on the prowl. Our breath hung in a haze around us as we made our way to the park where the van usually sat. This was the main open area in the city, well lit and popular with courting couples at this time of night. The van sat in an otherwise empty car park, surrounded by beach trees and with an open field behind it. Steam was pouring from a vent in the roof, and the vehicle was surrounded by young rodents.
I could see my darling little mousie drooling at the smell, which to me smelt like three week old socks. And there he was, ruaprnstr himself, dishing out these snacks to all the rodents in the area, fleecing them for their money. I wasn't going to have that. Seriously, just because I'm a cat, doesn't mean I don't feel protective of the lesser species and this wolf was on my turf!
Well, I crept up slowly behind the van, then leapt as lightly as I could onto the roof. I swung down , popping my head through the serving window. "Hello Mr Wolf... Your snacks have put a bad taste in my mouse and I want it to stop. So, here's the deal. You take your cheese drugs elsewhere or I stuff them down your throat."
Of course, he made the mistake of thinking that, because he's a canine and cats always run from dogs, that he could beat me... Dogs tend to forget. Cats are more agile, faster and better armed. It's just we're also lazy and fighting takes too much energy.
Which is why we like to win our fights quickly. He was pretty soon lying on the floor, bound hand and foot with the flexes from his own electrical appliances, while I stuffed the disgusting melted cheese things into his mouth one after the other, forcing him to chew and swallow...
We never saw ruaprnstr in the neighbourhood again, and it was only a few days before my sweet mousie tasted the way she always had.