BANZAI!! <attempts to swing in through the plate glass window and slams into the surrounding brick wall instead> ...oww...*giggles* These are great for passing the time when everyone else is at work or in bed.
I have...(ouch...) I mean, Bwa Ha Ha Ha Ha! I have returned, Chrystal Dark! And this time, victory shall be mine!
<lobs a writing prompt in her general direction>
Tell me a story, from the perspective of a mad scientist's....pet hamster!
This cage is not my usual one. It smells differently. The human that feeds me must have moved me during the day while I slept. I can see her there, in her white coat, doing something. She has her back to me, and I can hear her humming cheerfully to herself. She turns, and pushes her thick rimmed glasses back up her nose.
Her face, to me, is actually attractive, but then, I'm a hamster. I like big teeth, small noses and big ears. There is a loud pop and a cloud of purple smoke. ((but no sudden appearance by Aviva))
The human coughs and waves it away, cursing loudly. She bends over her work and mutters something, then looks up and shouts "Eurika!" I have no idea what that means, but she seems to be happy, judging from the crazy little dance she is now doing. She picks up something that looks like a small dish, and walks towards my cage.
I squeak happily at her, and she coos softly to me. "Hello, my pretty little hammy. Are you hungry? Mummy has something extra-special for you to eat today." The words mean nothing to me, except hammy and hungry. Those two I recognise. One I associate with her talkning to me - it must be what she calls me. The other I associate with the arrival of food. Yes, I am hungry, and I squeak again to let her know this. There seems to be some sort of food on the dish she carries. It certainly smells good.
She opens the cage and lifts me out. This human I trust and I sit calmly in her hand as she carries me to the floor, where I jump off her palm and sit up, sniffing the air, trying to find the food she promised me. She lowers the plate, placing it right in front of me. The food is a weird pink colour, but it is still grain, and I tuck in, hungrily.
I don't notice the human step back, watching me curiously. I do notice a rather weird feeling in my tummy. A churning and gurgling and swelling, that seems to spread to the rest of me. The dish with the few remaining pink grains moves suddenly away. No, it gets smaller. Everything gets smaller.
Or... no, I am getting bigger. I look down at myself. I have never been able to look at my own body before, I've never been aware of my body before. Suddenly I am. I sit on my bottom with a bump, as my back legs grow enormously long and my front legs stretch and change shape. My fur seems to have stayed the same, though and has congregated into a small patch between my back legs. Except for the top of my head, where it has grown long and sleek. My chest changes too. Two bumps appear on it, swelling and growing. soon my chest is the same shape as the human's, only slightly bigger. I shake my head and look up at the human. She looks down and offers me a hand. I extend my foreleg and notice that I, too have hands. The human helps me to my feet and smiles.
"Hello, Hammy". She says, and for the first time I understand her.
"Hello...?" I reply, carefully
My mistress looks me up and down and smiles, a strange smile that I don't quite understand. "Oh well, I never could sex hamsters properly. I thought you were a boy. Never mind, I'll manage." With that she takes my hand and leads me.... And there we must leave it as this is a PG13 area!