I am about to stomp on a lot of toes here.
That is the problem you are trying to deal with. The descriptions, the words, the comments, the explanations, they do not really solve or mean anything. They're just descriptions and words and comments and explanations. Questioning yourself is perfectly acceptable, as is questioning your methods. What you feel and do is as much a part of tao as you are, regardless of how you feel about them or about yourself. Meaning is for philosophers and teachers and students.
Practicing what you believe is practice, it isn't actually achieving. Achieving is also pointless. What you need and want are not what you think they are, they're only symptoms of where you stand in the tao, not troubles or blocks placed in your path to be overcome. They are a disease, a dis-ease. And all dis-ease can be treated with the right application of the cures that they demand. Once you have accepted the dis-ease and identified it, you can then deal with it properly, and move on to whatever else needs doing.
Good and evil, right and wrong, balance, imbalance, all these are words used to define things. Defining something is only a step, and it is a step in the direction of treating the symptom of dis-ease. Meditating on these things does not solve the dis-ease, it serves only to help identify the cures and formulate a plan of action. When you have progressed with the tao, you persist in a state of clear minded awareness without needing to resort to meditation and thought. You feel the dis-ease, and then solve the dis-ease and then can move on to the next thing.
The idea that you are on a path leading to some form of enlightenment or success is ridiculous, because there is no path. You are moving because you will always move, and how you move is what you are learning to do. Movement and stillness are the same thing from differing perspectives. You learn perspectives by meditating on things, and this leads to some measure of understanding. Understanding only matters insofar as it does not lead you into the way of believing these are stumbling blocks, important, good things, lessons, traps, troubles, or other objects. They are dis-ease, and dis-ease is simply a way of saying 'I am uncomfortable and should do something about it'. When you have done what you have decided to do, then you can move on.
The simplest way to put it, is this:
Do what you feel and believe is proper, and take the responsibility for having done so without regret.
There is the potential for greatness in all directions by such a philosophy, but the tao does not judge. It is and nothing more. You must understand the tao you are in because only through that understanding can you act or not act as appropriate to you. The tao is not one thing, not many things. It is, as you are, and you are in it as it is in you. You cannot gain true understanding of the tao from others, because they are in the tao as you are, but they are not you. Only you are you, and only you can understand your place in the tao, because your tao is where you are.
What was your question again?
>Edited for one minor grammatical, but fairly important little letter missing.