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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89437 times)

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Offline Mathim

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #800 on: August 18, 2008, 03:53:28 PM »
Granted but that's because you're in a coma so you can't feel anything, pain or otherwise.

I wish my watch could illuminate when it's dark, tell the date and would stop beeping all the time.

Offline dart

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #801 on: August 19, 2008, 12:23:38 PM »
granted. you brought it to a watch repairs men and he made it illuminate and it can tell you the date. pluss it stopped beeping. however it is now ticking. you realize all too late that the watch repairs man was the guy who hated you guts in middle school and that he put a bomb in your watch. and as you said to him at the end of middle school, "see you next fall"

I wish I had a good wish to wish for.

Offline Mathim

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #802 on: August 19, 2008, 05:58:05 PM »
Granted, but then once you know what the wish is, it never comes true!

I wish the world was all atheists.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #803 on: August 19, 2008, 06:01:12 PM »
Granted.  Everyone is an athiest... then Judgement Day comes, and we ALL burn.

I wish I could be online in the evening EVERY day.

Offline Mathim

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #804 on: August 19, 2008, 06:08:06 PM »
Granted but then your butt gets stuck to your chair and you can't remove it without intensive surgery.

I wish someone would buy me that damn iPod I wanted for my birthday four months ago.

Offline Reed

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #805 on: August 19, 2008, 06:10:46 PM »
Granted, but the only thing it plays is Veggie Tales songs.

I wish i didn't have a Veggie Tales song stuck in my head... ugh.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #806 on: August 19, 2008, 06:47:38 PM »
No problem!  Now you have the theme from BARNEY stuck in your head.  The shotgun is in the downstairs closet.

I wish Bonds had never taken steroids, and ruined a good career.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #807 on: August 20, 2008, 08:39:14 AM »
Granted, but he spent his career in Pittsburgh so nobody watched him.

I wish I understood how they scored people in gymnastics.

Offline The Great Triangle

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #808 on: August 20, 2008, 01:35:13 PM »
Granted.  Unfortunately, you know also know how gymnasts are made.  How they're REALLY made.


I wish I had an uncursed rustproof +2 silver dragon scale mail armor.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #809 on: August 20, 2008, 04:41:36 PM »
Granted, but it's a fake.

I wish I had a a good wish to wish.

Offline Idej

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #810 on: August 20, 2008, 09:43:37 PM »
Granted, but you are prevented from asking for that wish, for all means of communication are taken away from you.  That includes writing, speaking, morse code.  You simply can not communicate in any way, shape, or form.

I wish that I could be Superman

Offline Josietta

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #811 on: August 20, 2008, 10:00:07 PM »
Granted. But Kryptonite has spread throughout the earths crust and you are now balding with a huge beer gut and Lois left you for Batman because "he has better toys".

I wish I could make a perfect Tiramisu.

Offline The Great Triangle

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #812 on: August 21, 2008, 01:46:09 AM »
Granted.  The tiramisu becomes self aware and launches a Jihad against humanity.  You stop it by eating it, but you are forever haunted by having eaten the perfect tiramisu.

I wish for a cursed scroll of genocide.

Offline Idej

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #813 on: August 21, 2008, 01:53:09 AM »
Granted, but the scroll does a reverse effect of what you want.  If you want one group eliminated, it will eliminate the other that is the direct opposite of it.  You do not know that it will do that until you wipe out whatever the opposite of you what you wanted wiped out.

I wish to have a fully-functional Ironman suit.

Offline The Great Triangle

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #814 on: August 21, 2008, 02:10:44 AM »
Granted.  The suit becomes self aware and launches a Jihad against humanity.  You stop it by eating it, but you are forever haunted by having eaten the perfect tiramisu...  err... I mean, the perfect Iron Man suit. 


I which all video game box art was done in the style of the origonal mega man for the NES.

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #815 on: August 21, 2008, 05:36:35 AM »
Not granted at all because you misspelled "wish".

Granted. Every video game character now wears yellow and blue spandex-armor on their respective boxes; unfortunately, each character is also depicted being decapitated by Cut Man.

I wish to find my "Monty Python's Meaning of Life" DVD.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #816 on: August 21, 2008, 05:44:40 AM »
You find it, but 10 minutes in it has been burned over so you end up watching gay porn.

I wish I had more time to RP.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #817 on: August 21, 2008, 05:54:47 AM »
After the accident, you have time and ability to do nothing BUT.

I wish I could control the passing of time.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #818 on: August 21, 2008, 05:59:11 AM »
(.....sweet.)

Granted, however just because you could, doesn't meant you would know how. You waste most of your life trying to figure it out, then accidentally fast forward 100 years to a time when you don't exist.

I wish I could apperate.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #819 on: August 21, 2008, 06:48:38 AM »
Your wish is my command.  You Apparate, but splinch yourself, leaving behind your WAND HAND.  Whoops.  Welcome to your destination, bleeding dangerously.

Oh, and naked.  Because that's always funny.

I wish I had no meeting today.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #820 on: August 21, 2008, 10:33:04 AM »
Granted, but it's because you've been fired.

I wish I could turn invisible.

Offline Idej

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #821 on: August 21, 2008, 10:38:25 AM »
Granted, but when you become visible, your clothes remain invisible and you turn invisible at random times as well.

I wish that I had a living Deinonychus for a pet.

Offline The Great Triangle

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #822 on: August 21, 2008, 03:15:57 PM »
Granted.  It loves you so much that it jealously attacks anything nearby.  And thus you will always be haunted by having eaten the perfect tiramisu.

I wish the iconoclast hat was an equipable item for my class.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #823 on: August 22, 2008, 08:29:34 AM »
Granted, but it's no longer iconoclastic.

I wish I had a good roleplay idea.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #824 on: August 22, 2008, 08:51:13 AM »
You get one.  And lose all internet, forever.  Damn.

I wish I was a better writer.