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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89468 times)

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Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #750 on: July 28, 2008, 12:44:24 PM »
It doesn't, as you lose all feeling in your body... including pleasure.  Forever.  *sniffs sadly at the thought*

I wish that I had more ideas!

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #751 on: July 28, 2008, 12:45:02 PM »
(I think I already have that wish-perversion that you inflicted upon dart)

Granted. Now you don't have a throat at all. I'll let you figure out how your anatomy will be altered by that fact.

I wish that winding the clock back really did reverse time.

Edit:

Damnit, Kalen beat me to it again.

Granted-- They're all very terrible ideas that even the worst writer of cheesy B-movies wouldn't dare to put on paper, let alone publish.

I wish that winding the clock back really did reverse time.
« Last Edit: July 28, 2008, 12:46:22 PM by Paradox »

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #752 on: July 28, 2008, 12:49:28 PM »
(I already HAVE that... I guess you don't read my stories *lol*)

Granted, but by accident, you wind it forward instead, and too quickly... hastening your death. 

I wish that healthy food tasted GOOD.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #753 on: July 28, 2008, 04:11:17 PM »
It tastes great, however because of that it becomes incredibly pricey, only the richest people affording it, the rest of the country becomes morbidly obese.

I wish certain people would learn to grow up.

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #754 on: July 28, 2008, 04:52:52 PM »
Granted. They learn how to but still don't bother to actually do so.

I wish the gas stations would install temperature regulators for the gas like they do in Canada.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #755 on: July 28, 2008, 06:55:50 PM »
Granted, but because of costs it makes gas soar even higher, by at least a dollar.

I wish I could go see Dark Knight again.

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #756 on: July 28, 2008, 07:37:02 PM »
You do, but this time the movie is played backwards.

I wish my sinus meds would let me watch The Dark Knight all the way through for once. *ugh*

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #757 on: July 28, 2008, 07:44:08 PM »
(Even so, I'd love it!)
Granted, your sinus meds let you. But the people at the ticket counter don't, and they are what matters.

I wish my first chapter would write itself.

Offline Maeven

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #758 on: July 28, 2008, 09:27:33 PM »
It does, but it writes you into a corner you have no hope of recovering from.

I wish that my vocabulary was not so limited.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #759 on: July 28, 2008, 09:28:57 PM »
Granted, however because of your expanse vocabulary all your partners either drop you, or take several days to reply because they are trying to decipher it.

I wish it was cheaper to go to the movies.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #760 on: July 29, 2008, 06:35:10 AM »
The quality of the movies drop as the price does... enjoy Batman 3, starring Rob Schneider!  And it's not a comedy.   At least... not intentionally.

I wish I had a new laptop.

Offline Bliss

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #761 on: July 29, 2008, 08:25:14 AM »
You get a new laptop! It's a flea-ridden stray named Fluffernuts, hates everyone except you, and loves to sharpen its claws on your softest bits... which are conveniently easy to get to when it's on your lap.

I wish I could re-do my morning.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #762 on: July 29, 2008, 08:45:58 AM »
You get a new laptop! It's a flea-ridden stray named Fluffernuts, hates everyone except you, and loves to sharpen its claws on your softest bits... which are conveniently easy to get to when it's on your lap.

I wish I could re-do my morning.

Your wish is granted.  It's your very own Groundhog Day, and you get to relive it over, and over, and over...

I wish I understood the appeal of... popular people.

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #763 on: July 29, 2008, 02:04:59 PM »
Granted, but in order to understand it, you had to become one, thus turning your brain into a mushy puddle of Hollywood-flavored oatmeal.

I wish I wasn't wearing any pants.




Oh, nevermind, granted that one myself.


I wish people actually took recycling seriously.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #764 on: July 29, 2008, 02:20:28 PM »
Granted. They take it so seriously anyone accidentally throwing out something recyclable is shot. The world becomes paranoid, and the metal saved is made into weapons so people can assassinate non-recycling neighbours. With the animosity and tension, it evolves into WW3, a war separated by families instead of countries, the most bloody war ever seen.


I wish school started later in the day.

Offline Le RandomBloke

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #765 on: July 29, 2008, 02:21:55 PM »
Granted, school starts at 2 pm, but once you entered. YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE! DUN DUN DUN




I wish plastic was as strong as diamond.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #766 on: July 29, 2008, 02:22:59 PM »
Granted, but it also becomes as expensive as diamond.


I wish my water bottles didn't get condensation all along the sides.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #767 on: July 30, 2008, 05:48:15 AM »
Welcome to the world of drinking tepid, murky water.  Yum.

I wish that the phrase "there's no such thing as too much of a good thing" was actually true.

Offline Maeven

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #768 on: July 30, 2008, 08:33:12 AM »
Welcome to the world of drinking tepid, murky water.  Yum.

I wish that the phrase "there's no such thing as too much of a good thing" was actually true.

Me too incidentally....

Granted.  There is no such thing as 'too much of a good thing'; but you never get any of the said good things. 


I wish that I could run 5 miles without stopping. 

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #769 on: July 30, 2008, 08:54:17 AM »
You manage it easily.  When you DO stop, the clowns eat you.  After you rise, you run no more!

I wish that today was a blue moon.
« Last Edit: July 30, 2008, 08:56:13 AM by Kalen »

Offline Maeven

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #770 on: July 30, 2008, 09:00:10 AM »
You manage it easily.  When you DO stop, the clowns eat you.  After you rise, you run no more!

GAH! Clowns!

Quote
I wish that today was a blue moon.

Me too, incidentally.

It is, but there's also a lunar eclipse, so you can't see it. 


I wish that it was already NEXT Wednesday. 



Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #771 on: July 30, 2008, 09:04:02 AM »
It IS next Wednesday.  But you feel like you missed something important... unfortunately, so does your boss.

I wish I could lose 30 lbs.

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #772 on: July 30, 2008, 10:41:26 AM »
Granted. You could...but you don't.


I wish products were more forthright about the presence of MSG.

Offline Hollin

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #773 on: August 03, 2008, 02:47:49 PM »
Granted.   MSG warnings are added to all products....but they fail to dislose the presence of arsenic, lead, and asbestos in those same products.

I wish the weekend didn't have to end.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #774 on: August 04, 2008, 08:06:21 AM »
They don't.  And the banks never open anymore... civilization collapses.  Just as it was getting interesting.

I wish I could make up my mind about something important.