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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89384 times)

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Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #675 on: June 27, 2008, 11:55:38 AM »
Granted, but it's moldy, rotten, and downright disgusting.

I wish I had pants.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #676 on: June 27, 2008, 12:00:45 PM »
.....I really just don't want to grant that one.
Granted, but they have a huge hole in the crotch that you don't notice until you're in public.

I wish I could get this stupid clasp to work.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #677 on: June 27, 2008, 12:53:57 PM »
Granted... but your bra won't ever, EVER come off now. 

I wish that I could be on Elliquiy on the weekends.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #678 on: June 27, 2008, 12:55:39 PM »
Granted... but your bra won't ever, EVER come off now. 

I wish that I could be on Elliquiy on the weekends.
Granted, but everyone really needed those two days away from you, so you end up losing all your friends because they get annoyed by you too easily.

I wish the fan would work in my room.

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #679 on: June 27, 2008, 12:58:35 PM »
Granted. It works so well that it starts working overtime, speeds up, and spins so fast that it comes loose and crashes down onto your head.

I wish I could've been there to see that.

Offline Trickedout

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #680 on: June 28, 2008, 03:42:46 PM »
Granted but two fragments of metal dislodge from the fan and hit you in the eyes as it happens so that you go blind and miss it.

I wish my TV would work.

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #681 on: June 28, 2008, 03:50:53 PM »
Granted; however, it will only show fundamentalist Christian broadcasting.

I wish toilets didn't flush themselves.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #682 on: June 29, 2008, 01:21:02 AM »
Granted; however, it will only show fundamentalist Christian broadcasting.

I wish toilets didn't flush themselves.

Granted. But they stop flushing in general, and we are forced back into the land of port-a-johns.

I wish I had a stronger Muse.

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #683 on: June 29, 2008, 07:49:10 AM »
(The land of port-a-johns...sounds like a horrible idea for a movie, or a great idea for a book)

Granted, but your Muse becomes physically strong. Having a really buff Muse doesn't do you a bit of good, and in fact, it actually leaves you with even less inspiration since your Muse is always admiring herself in the mirror, working on her body, keeping her muscles toned, etc.

Oh, and she whoops your ass on a daily basis.

I wish I really could go back to the future.

Offline Sethite

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #684 on: June 29, 2008, 11:45:31 AM »
Granted. But the future is definitly screwed, because it's like a crossover of Mad Max and Terminator. Have fun.

I wish I had a PlayStation 4.

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #685 on: June 29, 2008, 12:21:18 PM »
I would've brought you one back from the future if you hadn't screwed my wish up  ;)

Granted, but it bursts into flames after ten minutes of being turned on.

I wish I could be a tree for a day.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #686 on: June 29, 2008, 01:02:25 PM »
I would've brought you one back from the future if you hadn't screwed my wish up  ;)

Granted, but it bursts into flames after ten minutes of being turned on.

I wish I could be a tree for a day.
Granted, but you're the only tree in a dog park. Enjoy.

I wish I had a dog.

Offline The Great Triangle

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #687 on: June 29, 2008, 01:40:40 PM »
Granted, but it's the world's most oversexed dog boy, and you can barely get any sleep at night.

I wish I had a cat.   :)

Offline Custos Morum

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #688 on: June 29, 2008, 02:07:49 PM »
Granted, but it tasted very foul and gave you a stomach ache.

I wish women obeyed me without question

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #689 on: June 29, 2008, 02:10:25 PM »
Granted. Because they don't ask questions, they end up fucking all of your orders up since they couldn't ask you to elaborate or give instructions.

I wish I had a paintbrush that could paint things into reality.

Offline Zaer Darkwail

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #690 on: June 29, 2008, 04:12:31 PM »
Wish granted but sadly you need to get fey dust to paint to make it work so it is ordinary paintbrush until you get the paint.

I wish me and everyone in Elliquiy would get cool super powers and take over the world.

Offline Custos Morum

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #691 on: June 29, 2008, 04:59:27 PM »
granted. We all manage to take over the world. Alas, the equal power of every member, whitch is a lot of people, drives us into a full chaosdriven internal conflict, witch ends with everyone dead.

I wish for the perfect wish to be granted me.

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #692 on: June 29, 2008, 10:03:15 PM »
(that was what I was thinking for his fulfillment as well)

Granted. You wish for nothing at all, and thus find true happiness in your life thanks to your lack of desire. At one with yourself and the world, you achieve

Oh wait that's a good thing..damn..

Granted. Unfortunately, it's not YOUR perfect wish. It's a sadist's perfect wish, so you end up chained up in a painful servitude of torture for eternity.

I wish for...nothing! Game over!

Actually, I wish that beer didn't affect the digestive system so oddly.

Offline Trickedout

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #693 on: July 01, 2008, 09:37:10 PM »
Granted but as your digestive system becomes immune to the odd effects of beer it becomes unable to handle any other type of drink or even food. Enjoy your death.

I wish... That I had a tail!

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #694 on: July 01, 2008, 09:45:08 PM »
Granted but as your digestive system becomes immune to the odd effects of beer it becomes unable to handle any other type of drink or even food. Enjoy your death.

I wish... That I had a tail!

Granted. Someone shoves an unlubed, angry tiger up your ass; so far up, that only it's tail remains outside of your body. Enjoy the angry tiger in your bowels and bloody asshole!

I wish that Hitler would come back to life so I could punch him in the face a few thousand times.

Offline Trickedout

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #695 on: July 01, 2008, 09:53:20 PM »
Granted but to bring Hitler back from the grave the scientists had to genetically re-engineer him into something resembling the hulk on a major amount of steroids. The punches server only to piss him off and he kills you by sitting on you. Again, Enjoy your death.

I wish I had some spray paint...

Offline Custos Morum

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #696 on: July 02, 2008, 03:43:10 AM »
Granted, but it's not in a spraycan, useless to you in it's current form.

I wish that my laptop would fall in love with me  ;)

Offline Atlus

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #697 on: July 02, 2008, 03:52:26 AM »
Granted. Your laptop now refuses to show you porn because the laptop itself should be all you need. You are now constantly inundated with IMs from your computer asking how your day is going.


I wish I could find an apartment in a good neighborhood for dirt cheap.

Offline Custos Morum

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #698 on: July 02, 2008, 03:55:40 AM »
Granted. Only problem is your not allowed to put any furniture in there, and you don't have gas nor electricity.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #699 on: July 02, 2008, 06:12:19 AM »
and....